2023 Houston Astros Thread

[Limp Brisket 529]

Ok Javier, have your command please.

[wood 10786]

When dipshit was talking about how tough the Astros' first 4 batters are, I said to myself "Wait, what about #5?"

Heh...

[Overlord 366]

2 minutes ago, slorch said:

You knew Yainer wasn't getting a hit.  Baseball gods insisted upon it.

Dusty has wet dreams of DFA' ing Yainer, so butt boy Maldy can sign a one year deal

[dr99 551]

They spent the whole pregame and the beginning of the game sucking off Sonny Gray, hopefully they talk shit on Javier

[WBT 20131]

Just got off a work call.  How are we doing?

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, kevwun said:

I wish I had a button that would let me shock the broadcast crew every time once of them says Waino.

I have the sound off because I am still working.

When work is done, sound probably stays off.

[TexArcher 36903]

Breaking ball is moving a ton for him.

 

1 minute ago, WBT said:

Just got off a work call.  How are we doing?

You get back on that phone right now!!

Edited October 10, 2023 by TexArcher

[cabowabo 4379]

Fucking ump.

[UTHornFan014 706]

Fuck that ump

[UTexasFight 9288]

21 minutes ago, Scraps said:

Arod just said the team who wins the first 5 innings will win because the shadows will be in play in the last 3?

Did i hear that dumbass right?

Wut?
 

Yeah. I could see that and seem to remember the shadows being funky here.

Their ballpark faces East. You can see it in the pic above  the shadows run parallel to the first base line instead of creeping from home towards the outfield 

[kevwun 15189]

That was a strike, dick.

[Mo Horn 8680]

Fuck you Javier. 

[Scraps 13461]

Javier doesn't speak english jackasses lmao

[Overlord 366]

Come on Javier.  We need you today.

[TexArcher 36903]

My butthole is the size of an electron now.

[cabowabo 4379]

Walk him!

[Guest]

ump cam sucks.  It's distorted AF.

 

Maybe it's in Angel Hernandez view mode.

 

Edited October 10, 2023 by slorch

[Overlord 366]

1 minute ago, TexArcher said:

My butthole is the size of an electron now.

If you shoved a lump of coal up my ass, by the 6th inning you'd have a diamond. 

[Guest]

El reptil.

 

slightly gruntled today/

[cabowabo 4379]

SIT DOWN BITCH.

[Mitch Hedberg 2086]

Hell yeah! Strike our Correa! Love it.

[Scraps 13461]

Fuck you Javier. 

Fuck you...be better

[Mo Horn 8680]

He gets out of it

[Js1 82355]

Love that

[HOOKEM4 4869]

3 minutes ago, Mo Horn said:

Fuck you Javier. 

Come again? 

[Macklemore 2825]

Beautiful Cristian!!!

[UTHornFan014 706]

Yuge! 

[TexArcher 36903]

Tack on another crooked number, guys.  Let's make this one boring.

[dr99 551]

nice job getting 4 outs that inning

[Mo Horn 8680]

1 minute ago, Scraps said:

4 minutes ago, Mo Horn said:

Fuck you Javier. 

Fuck you...be better

Fair. I'm just tired of him playing with fire. 

1 minute ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Come again? 

Just a moment of frustration. I'm good now. 

[Mo Horn 8680]

Please bunt here... yea, not gonna happen I know

[cabowabo 4379]

WAY TO GO FATASS

[Mo Horn 8680]

Just now, Mo Horn said:

Please bunt here... yea, not gonna happen I know

I just need to shut up today I guess. Lol

[Guest]

Nice job.

 

Solid contribution, Maldy.

[Overlord 366]

Atta boy JP.  Another grounder.  He got it out of the infield this time.  That's a good sign.  JP is usually the king of infield hits.

[TexArcher 36903]

Holy shit, did Dusty just make a smart baseball play?

Y'all ninjas fucked now.

[Mitch Hedberg 2086]

Good job Maldy

[Guest]

Just now, Mo Horn said:

I just need to shut up today I guess. Lol

No.  Keep fucking going.  Your jinxes are paying off in spades.

[Gut Wagon 8017]

Twins strike out: shadows are tough

Astros strike out: Gray is awesome 

 

 

[kevwun 15189]

This ump has a rather inconsistent strikezone.

[Overlord 366]

Why do we have to listen to Wainwright stories all fucking game?

[TexArcher 36903]

Just now, kevwun said:

This ump is a cocksucker.

You said it, mang.

[UTHornFan014 706]

I feel like all Bregman has been doing lately is either pop up or hit weak grounders to the left side. 

[dr99 551]

Crusty will never bunt again after that

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Gut Wagon said:

Twins strike out: shadows are tough

Astros strike out: Gray is awesome 

 

 

WGAF.  Their endorsement is not needed.

The national boys hate us.  Astros blew up their pecking order for the past decade.  Fuck em.

Their protests are just another form of anguish.

[HOOKEM4 4869]

5 minutes ago, Mo Horn said:

I just need to shut up today I guess. Lol

Honestly, I think you need to talk more shit. It is working pretty well so far. My wife spends the entire game shitting on every player. She hates that Abreu won't button his shit, so mid shit talk rant, boom he goes yard. Let the hate flow!

[Guest]

I'm gonna admit the Twins ballpark looks like a great place to watch a game.

[UTHornFan014 706]

How many fucking times are they gonna say "shadows" while the Twins are batting? 

[Macklemore 2825]

Great work there Cristian!!!

[cabowabo 4379]

So the shadows are only affecting the Twins.  mmmkay.