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Best Burger in Texas (and each state)

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2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

An average $50 blowjob is laughing at your great $33 fountain pen.

your mom charges considerably less than $50

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1 hour ago, futureman said:

your mom charges considerably less than $50

According to her Yelp reviews, she's considerably below average, too, so I don't see the relevance. 

Edited by Walden Ponderer

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26 minutes ago, thestud said:

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Let’s play a game called guess where I am

Picnic table, bottled drink, handmade patty, grilled bun, mustard. I have a strong guess. Bag of chips would seal the deal. The amount of lettuce is throwing me.

Are you in Jacksboro?

Edited by RPM

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The winner is you. I personally suggest the double/double/hot. 

Edited by RPM
ddh ftw

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Best burger I've had in NC:  The Village Wayside Bar & Grill in Asheville (in the Biltmore Village, if you're going to serve a burger, it for damned sure ought to be good enough for a Vanderbilt to eat).

 

Village-Wayside-burger.JPG

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6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Google search on that image says "Chicago Style Hot Dog".

That's what you get for relying on the Googles. That pic is not representative of the veggie/meat ratio of a Herdburger. It's not veg free, but it's not too much. You can get it veg free if you want. You just have to ask. IMHO the Double meat, double cheese, jalapeno (double/double/hot) is the best fucking hamburger I've ever had. Used to eat 3 or 4 a week when I worked down the street and Claude was cooking.

The place is authentic as it gets. The SNL "Hamburger, chips, Pepsi!" skit will immediately pop in your head. They don't sell fries and bottled drinks only, help yourself. You can sit on old DrPepper bottle cases, school desks or picnic tables. Sign your name on the wall after you finish the best burger you've ever had.

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This is going to look like a mess but it's my fault for ordering the double meat, double cheese. There's an old dive in Santa Fe NM called Real Burger. It's solid, but imo their buns are too thick. So I tried it on a sopapilla, and ho-leeeee shit it was absolutely amazing. Still thinking about it a week later. I had to take off one of the meat patties so I could pick up the burger. 

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1 hour ago, RPM said:

Sopapilla burger? Interesting. 

Yeah I turned my nose up at the idea of it for a couple years but finally figured wth. Now I realize my mistake. Not only was it substantial enough to hold the burger it had all the great qualities I want from a burger bun - thin bread, slightly sweet, doesn't fall apart. 

You can also get amazing things here like sopapillos stuffed with carne advovada and topped with green and/or red chile, but that'd be a different thread. 

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Yeah, I've seen doughnuts used as a bun and that did not look appealing. But a sopapilla is something different. I've never put anything other than honey in one, but that light, yeasty bread would work well. Hat tip for the suggestion.

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On 11/16/2019 at 11:20 AM, RPM said:

Sopapilla burger? Interesting. 

"Raise the flag!"

Pancho's would rule the world if they'd thought of that.

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Not the best in the state, but the Broadway 50/50 serves a pretty mean burger if you're around the area...

 

Edited by Cajun

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Champ Burger East End Houston. Great neighborhood spot. Nothing fancy but very tasty. It’s a very sloppy burger so order light  on the mustard / mayo if that’s your preference 

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Champ Burger East End Houston. Great neighborhood spot. Nothing fancy but very tasty. It’s a very sloppy burger so order light  on the mustard / mayo if that’s your preference 

Man, I haven’t been there in nearly a decade. Need to fix that.

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What was the name of that east Austin little burger joint with the goofy sounding German name? Shumichaels or something. Was down around East 5th or 6th. Used to love that place about 14 years ago when I was there at UT

Edited by Junior Miller

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Storm's in Lampasas is good.  I get the Storm's Special with cheese and sub for a sourdough bun.

Brad's is legit (when it's open).  Double with cheese and get their fried okra.

Bill's Burgers in Burnet (and now in Marble Falls).  Just had one on Saturday.  Still great.  Hand-formed 1/2 lb patties that are still somewhat thin, just really big around. Good bun. Good toppings. Great onion rings.

If you go to Eve's Café in Lampasas on a Thursday or Friday, they have burgers. I've had them a few times. They're really good.  If you can convince yourself not to eat their really good schnitzel, try the burger.

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Hilberts on Lamar used to be my go-to place for a fix before they sold to P. T.'s, they relocated around the corner (38th) and eventually closed.  I was sad, until we moved to Mineral Wells, now I find myself going to Herd's whenever I get the itch.

Upgrading is sooo hard!

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2 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:


Man, I haven’t been there in nearly a decade. Need to fix that.

I live a 5 min walk away and went today for the first time in 6 months i bet

Edited by tx 3 putt

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Storm's in Lampasas is good.  I get the Storm's Special with cheese and sub for a sourdough bun.
Brad's is legit (when it's open).  Double with cheese and get their fried okra.
Bill's Burgers in Burnet (and now in Marble Falls).  Just had one on Saturday.  Still great.  Hand-formed 1/2 lb patties that are still somewhat thin, just really big around. Good bun. Good toppings. Great onion rings.
If you go to Eve's Café in Lampasas on a Thursday or Friday, they have burgers. I've had them a few times. They're really good.  If you can convince yourself not to eat their really good schnitzel, try the burger.
I've been to Storm's in Burnet, Lampasas and Marble Falls. It's great at all 3 locations.

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2 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:


Man, I haven’t been there in nearly a decade. Need to fix that.

there's another neighborhood place, Suko's I need to try. I hear good things 

Edited by tx 3 putt

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2 hours ago, RPM said:

Looks like it recently closed.

Yep that was it. Damn good burger in a nice down to earth diner setting in dirty east Austin before all the garbage gentrification moved in. Nice people and glad they got to retire and ride off into the sunset 

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9 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Champ Burger East End Houston. Great neighborhood spot. Nothing fancy but very tasty. It’s a very sloppy burger so order light  on the mustard / mayo if that’s your preference 

you're cheating yourself if you don't get onion rings there

 

 

2019-12-09-23-24-51.jpg

Edited by elfenix

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Tejas Burger in Tomball was pretty damn good. I tired one of the smoked burger and want to try a flattop burger the next time. 

very good onion rings 

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What the fuck is with Carolina and cole slaw on a burger? The Wendy's here is advertising a "Carolina Classic" -- are they selling anywhere non-Carolina? Because, you know... yuck.

Even my favorite diner that I found here serves slaw on the side, like you're supposed to put it on the burger yourself.

I sweatergawd, it's the "weird regional food thing" that has driven me the battiest of all the weird regional food things I have ever encountered. More so than Ecuador and guinea pig consumption, because that's just weird. THIS is taking a good food and ruining it.

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Could be worse. In New Zealand, even the fast food places put pickled beet slices on their burgers.

Edited by Deej

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15 hours ago, Deej said:

Could be worse. In New Zealand, even the fast food places put pickled beet slices on their burgers.

While in Vietnam, my old man said the local burger joints in South Vietnam didn't have lettuce for the burgers so the locals used cabbage.  Didn't work out to well.

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10 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

Brazilian I'm dating told me corn is pretty common there. What is wrong with the rest of the world?

They also add corn and other interesting things like peas and parmesan cheese to their Brazilian hot dogs, which are delicious.

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1 hour ago, utee94 said:

They also add corn and other interesting things like peas and parmesan cheese to their Brazilian hot dogs, which are delicious.

Yea she told me that as well. Out on that.

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31 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

Yea she told me that as well. Out on that.

Don't knock it til you try it, put a little on your plate.  Don't waste it til you taste it, some kids think it's great!

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

I bet the pea guac in New York tastes fine too, but no gracias.

New York city?  Get a rope!

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On 1/30/2020 at 12:26 PM, Hank_Hill said:

I bet the pea guac in New York tastes fine too, but no gracias.

I think they call that mushy peas.

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