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Showing results for 'I'd pee in her butt'.
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Acta non Verba. I'd vote for Senator Kelly.
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The Man responds. When I was 22 years old, I commissioned as an Ensign in the United States Navy and swore an oath to the Constitution. I upheld that oath through flight school, multiple deployments on the USS Midway, 39 combat missions in Operation Desert Storm, test pilot school, four space shuttle flights at NASA, and every day since I retired – which I did after my wife Gabby was shot in the head while serving her constituents. In combat, I had a missile blow up next to my jet and flew through anti-aircraft fire to drop bombs on enemy targets. At NASA, I launched on a rocket, commanded the space shuttle, and was part of the recovery mission that brought home the bodies of my astronaut classmates who died on Columbia. I did all of this in service to this country that I love and has given me so much. Secretary Hegseth’s tweet is the first I heard of this. I also saw the President’s posts saying I should be arrested, hanged, and put to death. If this is meant to intimidate me and other members of Congress from doing our jobs and holding this administration accountable, it won’t work. I’ve given too much to this country to be silenced by bullies who care more about their own power than protecting the Constitution.
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I just need a fucking pit to smoke stuff on I live out near you it's not like there needs to be anything moved but the meat. Also since when did everyone start treating pits like they are babies or something. I'm not an asshole teenager, if I picked it up and drove it I'd go 55, chill and not hit potholes and beat the shit out of it. lol
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Bert's would if they weren't closed thanksgiving that's our only issue here is the thankgiving wrinkle. I think if I can get briskets and butts cooked we can figure out the ribs and thighs pretty easily as well as the rib roast. Those don't need a big ass smoker or even a smoker at all for them. They can all be done on charcoal or propane in a pinch. and that can easily be trucked into lot 40 or just done at someone's house nearby. The issue right now is the quantity of briskets and butts we want/need. I'm feeling pretty alright about being able to do at least 8-10 racks of ribs on my kamado at home in the morning before I come and doing 30-40 boneless chicken thighs is childs play with any reasonable sized propane or kamado. The 7 bone roast doesn't have to stay fully in tact, but it would be cook to have it stay in tact - that would need to go on a bigger grill/smoker.
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Job hunting - A different kind of happy ending
hookem2010 replied to Macanudo's topic in Can You Help Me With This?
I'll hop in here. I'm a physician assistant who took a break from practice to help with family as my wife started her new career. Then we got pregnant. The we got pregnant again, so I stayed at home with the boys for a while. As I had been out of practice for nearly 5 years, I've spent most of 2025 getting recertified, completing CME and applying to reactivate my license. I just got word that my license has been approved for reactivation... provisionally. Unfortunately, one of the provisions is I cannot do remote work, which pretty much kills the job I had lined up with an old boss. 5 1/2 years in ortho surgery (foot & ankle), 2 1/2 years in general surgery with a focus on thyroid. I have no doubt I can get excellent letters of rec from my previous docs. My wife is a CRNA, so hopefully I can establish some connections that way if the typical online applications fail, but I'm trying to cover all my bases. If anyone who works in the Austin area (I'm in Round Rock) is aware of any openings, feel free to DM me. -
What's going on with her two toned makeup? Makes her look like she's got a 5 o'clock shadow or something. Still would.
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Earl is available on Thursday for an overnight smoke provided we have a babysitter. As mentioned prior, I have sufficient seasoned Oak (however replenishment is not discouraged). As seen in the pics, there are 2 racks / top one is a slider... he'll easily fit your brisket & butts (you didn't mention any birds, however we fit 36 chickens in there for a Cub Scout Pack campout. @immamac, when I asked "budget", I'm taking Smoker alone. ● I'm not catering or cooking. ● I need to get my wife on board withe the process / hassle of a Thanksgiving transport from Drip to the 40 Acres & her mind is on the $$.
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My budget is I need to do an overnight smoke of 6 briskets and 8 pork butts and I don't give a shit who or where or how that happens, I'll buy the meat and pay for all the wood etc and the meat just has to be at the tailgate by 3PM I had ~1300 allocated for this portion of the food. The ribs/chicken thighs and the rib roast I think we have a plan for independently of the pit.
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not Sark but I'd probably take even odds that VY said exactly that to Arch.
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The Leopards Eating Faces and Unlubed Dildo of Consequences Thread
Captain Ron replied to Horn Dog's topic in Cloak Room
They can be pretty shitty. Jennifer Welch of the "I've Had it" podcast was on "On with Kara Swisher" today and she blows up Hakeem, Schumer and a few others catch some shrapnel from her grenade. I recommend a listen, I need to add that pod to my listen -
I watched it the other night and enjoyed it. It's more clever and witty than laugh-out-loud humor, but worth a watch. Some of the relationship discussions felt pretty realistic and sad, but the movie did well walking that line between humor and their marital problems. I thought it was funny that the name of the restaurant was so similar to the pet store in Dumb and Dumber. Kate McKinnon wasn't in it a whole lot, but what's with her being some one-note weirdo sex pest character in every movie now? I feel like every time I see her, she's constantly hitting on someone inappropriately and making crude comments. Not that there's anything wrong with that as a character, but it's all she does. It's odd because she had a real range of characters on SNL, and I thought she would do more. I looked up the house that Theo built, and sadly it's not a real home. They built it as a set for the movie, but the style and design were very intentional. I found this article that highlights the details and choices for the architecture. The corkscrew shaped wine cellar was an interesting choice. Just an absolutely beautiful home and set, I think it will get an Oscar nom for that. https://fredericmagazine.com/2025/08/screening-room-the-roses/ The dinner scene at the end was hilarious. The part where the other people try to do the mean 'banter' reminded me of this ITYSL sketch:
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Holy shit you dipshits: 9-3 Texas is probably in the playoffs
Ojo Rojo replied to Wulaw Horn's topic in Football
The rankings are bullshit. Head-to-head wins don't matter. Strength of schedule doesn't matter. The metric should be - if these two teams played, who would likely win? We have losses to the No. 1 and 4 teams in the country. In a vacuum, that could mean that you are ranked as high as No. 5. But it almost never does. The loss to Florida fucked us in this current system. Losses to unranked teams count too much. Losses to higher ranked teams, especially in the Top 10, don't count as a positive factor at all. Use the head-to-head metric. Who would likely win if we played Tech, BYU, Miami? We'd win every one of those games. We've already beaten Vanderbilt (12) and OU (8). How the fuck are teams we beat "better" than us? Makes no fucking sense. I'd take our odds against anyone ranked outside of the top 4. Oregon lost to the only really good team they played. Penn St. was No. 3 at the time Oregon beat them, but that ranking has proven to be way fucked. Wins at Iowa at 20? USC at 15? Please. Our wins over OU and Vandy are both better than those. Ole Miss lost to Georgia by 8; we lost by 25. They have wins over LSU (then No. 4) and OU. I'd say they should be ranked ahead of us. Tech hasn't played a bluebood. Wins over No. 16 Utah and No. 7 BYU. And a loss to unranked Arizona St. No fucking way they should be ranked ahead of us. ND lost to Miami and A&M. They had no other games against really good teams. USC and Pitt are their best wins. Fucking please. I could go on and on. -
Jeff Tiedrich: https://open.substack.com/pub/jefftiedrich/p/liddle-marco-and-his-ace-team-of?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email oh huh, a peace plan to end the Ukraine war. I guess that’s … good? spoiler alert: no, it’s not good. in fact, it’s double-plus-ungood — because look at the shitsticks involved in this so-called ‘negotiation.’ just seeing the name ‘Steve Witkoff’ should be setting off alarm bells in your head, because here’s a fun fact about old Stevie. and here’s the icing on your shitty Witkoff cake: this dumbfuck doesn’t speak any Russian — and he’s an easily-played dimwit. remember last August when Donny set up that despot bestie playdate with Putin in Alaska, so they could announce yet another Ukraine peace plan? remember what happened? Donny got played by Putin, who had no intention of agreeing to any plan. that whole fucking debacle was Steve Witkoff’s fault. as I wrote at the time. Witkoff was in way over his head, fucked up royally, and should have resigned or been fired on the spot. that’s what would have happened in any sane administration. but not only did Witkoff survive that embarrassing episode, he was then sent to negotiate another peace plan — and look who he brought with him: Jared Kushner, Donny Convict’s over-leveraged and under-qualified slumlord son-in-law. why is this low-wattage nitwit still involved in US foreign policy? and why are they ‘negotiating’ with an oligarch crony of Putin’s who runs a wealth management fund? not one of these dumb-asses has any foreign policy experience. none of what I just typed makes a single lick of sense. oh shit, it’s happening again. okay, so when this new 28-point ‘Ukraine peace plan’ leaked, the international foreign policy community was all ‘what the fuck? did Putin write this shit?’ it was a legit thing to wonder, because the ‘plan’ was the same laundry list of demands Russia’s been making since day one — especially this bit. now here’s where the clownfuckery dial gets twisted way past eleven — because it came out that, in fact, Russia did author that ‘peace plan.’ Witkoff and Jared were apparently just acting as glorified stenographers and going ‘yes? what else would you like?’ next time, can we just send Beavis and Butt-head to ‘negotiate’? could they do worse? hey, can we send Bruce Willis? after the news leaked about the ‘plan’ being Russia’s, Marco Rubio posted this gobbledygook to Elon’s Nazi Bar. “Ending a complex and deadly war such as the one in Ukraine requires an extensive exchange of serious and realistic ideas. And achieving a durable peace will require both sides to agree to difficult but necessary concessions. That is why we are and will continue to develop a list of potential ideas for ending this war based on input from both sides of this conflict.” what does that even mean? did ChatGPT write Marco’s not-tweet? it sounds like a fifth grader giving an oral report on a book he forgot he to read. ‘the Ukraine peace plan is a plan for peace in Ukraine, and that’s why everyone should read the Ukraine Peace Plan. thank you.’ look, you can’t expect Marco to have any idea what’s going on — he has like fourteen jobs. dude’s a very busy guy. then, a bunch of US Senators told reporters that Marco had admitted to them that Russia had written that ‘plan’ — and that in fact, it was Russia’s ‘wish list.’ at which point, Rubio went back to Elon’s Nazi Bar to insist that ‘nuh-uh, we wrote that shit.’ “The peace proposal was authored by the U.S. It is offered as a strong framework for ongoing negotiations It is based on input from the Russian side. But it is also based on previous and ongoing input from Ukraine.” what the fuck? why all the backpedaling and flip-flopping? to what end? what does any of Marco’s repeated self-contradictive dissembling accomplish, except to make the US look like it’s run by a bunch of morons who even lie to each other? which, another spoiler alert: it is. fuck Marco Rubio. and fuck every Democrat who defended their vote to confirm this guy ‘because he seemed like Donny’s most-normal pick’ why was everyone in the administration blindsided by this? doesn’t any one of these clowns know what’s going on? oh wait, there is one guy who was apparently aware of the whole thing: US Vice President Couchfuck McGee. it seems he’d taken a break from molesting furniture to greenlight this whole cockamamie clusterfuck in the first place. this tidbit comes from Bill Kristol. so now Couchfuck is running his own foreign policy operation, cutting the secretary of state — who he apparently hates — and even the president out of the loop? how is that even allowed to happen? am I on crazy pills? remember when the job of a vice president was to sit there like a lump and shut the fuck up? used to be, they’d show the new vice president to their office and go ‘try not to break anything, we’ll call you if the president dies.’ not any more. thanks to Dick Cheney, it’s now the job of every Republican Vice President to fuck shit up — but at least Cheney kept George W. Chimpface in the loop. Couchfuck is out here doing his own thing, and Demented Donny is off in cloud-cuckoo land. Preznit Fuckwit can’t be bothered to pay attention to — or even care about — what his own flunkies are doing. he’s too busy tarting up the Oval Bordello. he’s too busy tearing down the East Wing, and planning gaudy monuments to himself all up and down the Washington Mall. he’s too busy overhauling the golf course at Joint Base Andrews. why does the airfield where Air Force One is kept have a golf course? doesn’t Donny already have enough of his own vermin-infested golf motels at his disposal? apparently Donny’s also too busy pestering Hollywood to make more movies tailored to his own vulgar tastes. “the president is offering some creative input on potential upcoming projects.” way to keep focused on what’s important, you ginormous fucking clown. oh, and don’t forget that Donny’s also too busy enriching himself and his family — an undertaking which is apparently going great guns. no one could have predicted that investing in imaginary money whose only purpose is paying for crimes would be a bad idea. everything Donny touches dies — including, it seems, his own corruptly-acquired wealth. shoot that shit right into my veins. And now plain text version:
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I need 1 or 2 volunteers Thursday overnight to watch the pit and make sure it stays to temp/feed it logs. Paid gig, all beverages included and I'll order you whatever you need/want to eat all night. Plan: Baby back rib sandwiches (mcribs) and wings for lunch around noonish-2 ish then we do the butts brisket and roast for dinner service at 430-6. It'll be briskets and butts overnight (8-8) move to warmer / hold. Then ribs/chicken cuz it's quick. 2-3 hour cook. (9-noonish) Then just do the rib roast after and serve immediately. (1-4:30ish) I'll handle ribs/chicken in the AM and the Rib Roast is covered with someone already. Need overnight help because my wife leaves Friday morning not Thursday night for Michigan and I'll get bitched at.
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The Leopards Eating Faces and Unlubed Dildo of Consequences Thread
Pescado_Rojo replied to Horn Dog's topic in Cloak Room
I was having lunch with my cousin last week, and as we were sitting down eating, an Army dude walked in with a young hispanic male in street clothes. I assume it was a recruiter giving him the sales pitch. Hispanic kid was late teens/ early 20s, clean cut and nicely dressed, but had a bunch of tattoos. My first thought was "If that kid was white I'd assume he was a proud boy type". You know the look...skin fade and hard part, well dressed and well groomed, but then a bunch of tats? Then I start looking at the tats. Is that...yep, sure is...III%er tat just above his left elbow, and oh look...the same "We the People" tat down his forearm as Pete Kegsbreath. I didn't get a good look at the rest of his tats, but I assume there was other WP iconography mixed in there. My first thought was "Great, like we need more of these assholes in the service". My next thought was "Damn Uncle Tomas, how do you think the boys down in Juarez are gonna like those tats once MAGA uses you up and dumps you across the border?". -
Cindy Williams representing the 70s burn the bra movement. I appreciate her dedication to the cause.
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Ali Larter's giant cross necklace between her breasts is 100% on point for that character.
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I also saw that movie on a random Saturday at UT. Buddy’s newish GF comes over. She had brought her favorite movie to watch. I hadn’t seen it and me + other roommate didn’t have any real plans. So all 4 of us watch the thing. After it ended, I just looked at other roommate and we both look at her as she was grinning ear to ear. Her: What did you think? Me: I think I’m going to have nightmares… Her: Hahahaha. You’re funny. My buddy who’s dating her was just kind of staring at her in quiet disbelief. He went on to date this girl on and off for a while. She was obviously working through some major issues. But according to my buddy, she was every bit of the stereotype of daddy / parental issues (she was adopted) and wild in the sack. We were sophomores and she was like taking a grad level class of crazy. My buddy was sometimes kind of shook after a weekend of amorous activities. In 2003, choking, butt stuff, and tears was not as pervasive as it is today. And BDSM (even if lightish) is a lot for a 19-20 year old kid. His eventual wife ended up being the complete opposite. Stable family. Sweet. Vanilla. And I know exactly why. That is all. Thank for your attention in this matter.
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Holy shit. I always knew molé was a lot of work, but man. The Red Iguana in salt lake is literally a 9.5 hour drive from me and i think I'd rather do that than try and do what you did. God speed good sir.
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Spent a lot of time this weekend just talking to people in the city organically. Had a wonderful time with the volunteers at the Merchant House Museum by NYU. They care so much about the place and spent around 30 minutes talking to me and the mrs. about the museum and everything from gardening to the laws of thermodynamics. Even gave us some merch for free and we can't recommend the place enough. Quote of the conversation when they asked where we're from and we said Texas was, "Well that's certainly a place." Talked to a bus boy at an Argentinian Restaurant (Estancia Piola) in Brooklyn who is from Puebla for a bit about his commute from Queens and the struggle to survive in the city. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we talked to the owner of the restaurant who was really trying very hard and had fantastic food if you're ever in the neighborhood. Her husband owns the dive next door. Finally on the drive to EWR today we talked to a Dominican who lives in Yonkers with a good union construction job that drives for uber/Lyft 7 days a week just to keep it going. He loves the city but still makes it a point to go back to Santo Domingo every few months for some vacation. The people in the city are so much friendlier than they get credit for. Buena Vista Social Club was fantastic by the way.
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^ Just saw the opening scene with her before the credits. I live about 1.5 miles from that house, could easily walk there. We shall see how the rest of the episode goes.
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San Antonio Spurs 2025-26 - Release the Kraken
Gut Wagon replied to Mitch Cumsteen's topic in Basketball
Given the trouble we have defending these Western teams who run and gun, I'd start with getting some perimeter D. -
Then I thought, "When am I ever going back to Haiti?"
Francisco 2.0 replied to Deej's topic in Daily Texan
But then there was a lot about Tanner and Gavin that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where they lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. They call Plano the "City Of Excellence." I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. 'Course I can't say I've seen London, and I ain't never been to France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Plano, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. -
Tracking Trump Administration and Cabinet picks
Surly Bevo replied to PenelopeWitherspoon's topic in Cloak Room
I'd rather send them to North Sentinel Island and see how things go from there. -
No doubt. It's been an issue of late. But when she keeps her return within the same zip code as a teammate, we usually can survive it.
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