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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook


Vic Mackey

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7 hours ago, SurlyBDR said:

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This person also thinks they are some kinda Michelin star, gourmet, Bobby Flay, pit master, mayor of Flavor Town, Aaron Franklin grilling’ savant because they sprinkled a barely perceptible amount of grocery store rub on their flavorless chicken.  

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5 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

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I hadn't seen/heard anybody in person for years tell another person the cruel quip "You're in America, speak English...not Spanish."  But it happened a few days ago when I was at the store.  It was a short exchange but the guy was being a dick and the Hispanic couple just moved on their way and didn't pay him the attention he so cravenly desired.  Well I only had a few items to scan so was on my way right after all of them and sure as shit, I saw the dude packing up his groceries into his truck.  And the sticker image he had on his back window?  You guessed it.  NOT, Frank Stallone.  

I remember years ago picking up my niece in Dripping Springs from school.  And her teacher had to see my ID to make sure I was checked out to pick her up since her parents were out of town, totally normal.  And I introduced myself and all that.  And I asked what she taught to make chit-chat while the little one was packing up her bag and heading into the backseat.  And she said, "Language Arts.  I teach the kids to speak proper American."  She didn't say "English"...she said "to speak American."  She said this.  An adult.  At a school.  In broad daylight.  She "teaches American."  To this day, I still wonder if she was fucking with me, most likely.  But what a harbinger it would prove to be for Hays County years later.

Don't get me wrong, in college I had a bumper sticker that looked like at first glance "Organ Donor" but actually said "Orgasm Donor."  Thought I was so damn clever.  Spencer Gifts for the mother fucking win! 

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