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My Bariatric Surgery Journey


Wulaw Horn

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3 hours ago, Not that Bob said:

Okay, not a big deal from an overall health standpoint…it does not indicate that you have some additional illness or condition. But I still maintain it is a big deal from a safety standpoint. Semantics I guess. Cheers. 

Yeah. I do have to stay near where I get up bc yeah- not good to be nowhere near safe landing when the lights go down. 

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5 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

That seems to be the consensus. I’ve hit the floor 3 times in a month.  All controlled falls. Seems like something that ought to be a big deal but I guess not. 

Three in a month is alarming.  Do you have a blood pressure cuff at home?  if not, get one.  Take your BP before getting up and again about 30 seconds after getting up.  That can help identify or rule out orthostatic hypotension.

The blind staggers are all fun and games until you drop and crack your skull or pelvis on the way down.  Be careful.

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267. 
wnother day where I hit all my targets, my numbers and end up weighing more than I did the day before. This makes 5 days now again that I’m flat. 
1200 calories tops yesterday. 120G of protein. 
5.05 miles. 4012 calories 10,500 steps. Strength training. All of which I’ve done for the last 4 days, and I’m up 6/10ths of a pound in that time. It’s weird. There’s nothing to consider other than calories in and calories out. 

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30 minutes ago, SurlyGator said:

Trust this guy.  He's pre-med.  Literally.  As in before modern medicine.

 

But seriously, that is likely part of the issue.  Stick with it.

Oh I am sticking with it. Don’t have a choice really (on the intake part anyway). 

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23 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I talked to my doc and my dietician and neither are concerned. I do need to be careful about standing still when I stand up. It’s literally only in the first 10 or 15 seconds. 

Did they say it’s vasovagal? Knee high compression socks may be helpful if so. 

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267. 
wnother day where I hit all my targets, my numbers and end up weighing more than I did the day before. This makes 5 days now again that I’m flat. 
1200 calories tops yesterday. 120G of protein. 
5.05 miles. 4012 calories 10,500 steps. Strength training. All of which I’ve done for the last 4 days, and I’m up 6/10ths of a pound in that time. It’s weird. There’s nothing to consider other than calories in and calories out. 

Quoting for posterity because in 45 days you’re going to look back and have a good laugh.
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2 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

Did they say it’s vasovagal? Knee high compression socks may be helpful if so. 

I probably got rid of the compression socks too early. They said 10-30 days I should wear them. If I was going to stop at 10 I needed to really make sure I walk every hour (which I have been). 

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6 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I probably got rid of the compression socks too early. They said 10-30 days I should wear them. If I was going to stop at 10 I needed to really make sure I walk every hour (which I have been). 

Not the hospital hose they make athletic type compression hose you can wear them all the time 

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1 hour ago, BearSchlong said:


Quoting for posterity because in 45 days you’re going to look back and have a good laugh.

Yeah unless you want to drop down to 800 kcal a day (which I do NOT recommend) you aren’t going to see daily weight loss. Too many variables. And at 800 you are losing too much muscle mass bc your body will preserve fat in a true starvation state

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On 3/28/2023 at 6:38 AM, Wulaw Horn said:

And yeah I know it’s mot

all linear- but it’s working in a linear fashion at this  moment in time which makes me happy. 266.6. 

266.8. Once again flat for an entire week. Which is weird because the calories in and calories out bros tell me this can’t happen. I’ve burned 38,000 this week and my intake is at absolute most 9,000 and yet here I am, up 1/2 a pound over the last 6 days. And I was told it was all a simple mathematical equation. 
I know, I know, I will be laughing in 45 days. It’s not fucking funny right now. 

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10 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

266.8. Once again flat for an entire week. Which is weird because the calories in and calories out bros tell me this can’t happen. I’ve burned 38,000 this week and my intake is at absolute most 9,000 and yet here I am, up 1/2 a pound over the last 6 days. And I was told it was all a simple mathematical equation. 
I know, I know, I will be laughing in 45 days. It’s not fucking funny right now. 

Unless you’re getting your body composition measured every day, you’re not measuring your fat loss. I say this in the nicest way possible to someone I like - quit being a drama queen. You’re losing fat, you’re getting healthier. You’re adding years to your life to be around your family. Take the win. 

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1 hour ago, UT_OB1 said:

Unless you’re getting your body composition measured every day, you’re not measuring your fat loss. I say this in the nicest way possible to someone I like - quit being a drama queen. You’re losing fat, you’re getting healthier. You’re adding years to your life to be around your family. Take the win. 

Look man, I appreciate what you are saying. But I said in the first post it’s going to be my honest feeling. I know it will work out ok. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I feel. 
hopefully someone else is deciding or will decide to go through something like this and they can read the journey and the feelings and not feel like they are all alone when they hit their plateaus or feel discouraged. 

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One of my favorite threads on this site is the AA thread. Those guys do a great job of being supportive when the new guy kicks and screams and is coming apart at the seams and tell them to do their steps and follow the process and tell anecdotes of how they fucked up along the way but kept at it and ended up as new creatures at the end of the day. I hope my journey looks like that eventually. 

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1 minute ago, Wulaw Horn said:

One of my favorite threads on this site is the AA thread. Those guys do a great job of being supportive when the new guy kicks and screams and is coming apart at the seams and tell them to do their steps and follow the process and tell anecdotes of how they fucked up along the way but kept at it and ended up as new creatures at the end of the day. I hope my journey looks like that eventually. 

I'm sure it will.  It may not come at the pace you anticipate, because unlike aggy, WDRTS.  But, you have a lot of people rooting for you.

Doing this public journal with live feedback takes a lot of humility, but I hope it's  helpful and suspect that it is.

And, I think you know this, but feelings aren't reality.  You're certainly entitled to them, but try not to wallow.  

It's a bit harsh, but with food, eating, weight, one of your problems likely is misperception of reality via your feelings, so a healthy mistrust of them is not unwarranted.

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On 3/28/2023 at 10:09 AM, Wulaw Horn said:

If anyone has a 30 minute body weight routine for the week for me I'm all ears. Dr. said 30 minutes of walking/power walking/jogging plus 30 minutes of body weight strength training.  Then- in 3 months if I want I can lift real weights. 

Not joking, if you have a Nintendo switch there's an excellent exercise game called Ring Fit Adventure. It's basically a gamified workout program where you defeat enemies and gain XP by doing reps of exercises, and you do more damage and get more XP with better form and consistency. The game comes with a resistance ring with some in built strain gauges that you click a joycon into, and Velcro thing to strap a joycon to your leg. 

It's designed for 20-30 minute daily workouts, and is all body weight or pressing/pulling on the included resistance ring. I'd highly recommend it if you've got a switch in the house! My wife and I really enjoyed having it available during the first year of covid

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16 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I'm sure it will.  It may not come at the pace you anticipate, because unlike aggy, WDRTS.  But, you have a lot of people rooting for you.

Doing this public journal with live feedback takes a lot of humility, but I hope it's  helpful and suspect that it is.

And, I think you know this, but feelings aren't reality.  You're certainly entitled to them, but try not to wallow.  

It's a bit harsh, but with food, eating, weight, one of your problems likely is misperception of reality via your feelings, so a healthy mistrust of them is not unwarranted.

Last paragraph didn’t read harshly to me. Yes- one of the reasons I’m writing them and sharing them is so other people can comment and I can examine them and think about them in a conscious and thoughtful way rather than a thoughtless way. 

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1 hour ago, Wulaw Horn said:

One of my favorite threads on this site is the AA thread. Those guys do a great job of being supportive when the new guy kicks and screams and is coming apart at the seams and tell them to do their steps and follow the process and tell anecdotes of how they fucked up along the way but kept at it and ended up as new creatures at the end of the day. I hope my journey looks like that eventually. 

It will.  Your body, like theirs is fighting tooth & nail to maintain it's addiction.  I'm not conflating weight gain to alcoholism, but the addiction mechanisms are similar.  I've dealt with neither, so indulge my ignorance, but this seems like with the withdrawal stage.  With both, there are various treatment options that include both medical and lifestyle options.  Some are more aggressive than others.  It's a mother fucker.  I get it.  I've had family members struggle with alcohol and I've seen what it does.  I know it's a platitude, but you have to compartmentalize your journey.  Make it to lunch.  Then dinner.  Then the evening.  Keep your world small.  There is help along the way, but the personal accountability piece can't be understated.  It takes discipline and support.  We can help with one.  You have to take the other.

We are going to bust your balls.  It's inevitable.  Conquer your inner bitch.  All that.  Just knows it comes from the same place.  Nobody wants to see you suffer.  We all want to see you move past this.  Keep us posted you salty fuck.

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2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

It will.  Your body, like theirs is fighting tooth & nail to maintain it's addiction.  I'm not conflating weight gain to alcoholism, but the addiction mechanisms are similar.  I've dealt with neither, so indulge my ignorance, but this seems like with the withdrawal stage.  With both, there are various treatment options that include both medical and lifestyle options.  Some are more aggressive than others.  It's a mother fucker.  I get it.  I've had family members struggle with alcohol and I've seen what it does.  I know it's a platitude, but you have to compartmentalize your journey.  Make it to lunch.  Then dinner.  Then the evening.  Keep your world small.  There is help along the way, but the personal accountability piece can't be understated.  It takes discipline and support.  We can help with one.  You have to take the other.

We are going to bust your balls.  It's inevitable.  Conquer your inner bitch.  All that.  Just knows it comes from the same place.  Nobody wants to see you suffer.  We all want to see you move past this.  Keep us posted you salty fuck.

I don't think it's withdrawl. That's very real when you get off the sugar and carbs and it makes you sick for 3-5 days from my experience.  We are 6 weeks in.  It's pyscological right now. Which doesn't make it not real- just a little different. 

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3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I don't think it's withdrawl. That's very real when you get off the sugar and carbs and it makes you sick for 3-5 days from my experience.  We are 6 weeks in.  It's pyscological right now. Which doesn't make it not real- just a little different. 

Roger that.  Withdrawal is too simplistic.  Just how my little monkey brain conflates this to alcoholism.  The psychology aspect is real.  My mom's a psychologist and spent most of her career dealing with eating disorders and teens.  That's a dark, dark hole to get into.  The good news is there are armies of people out there that are qualified in helping situations like this.  

Burn your ships.  There's no going back.  

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5 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I don't think it's withdrawl. That's very real when you get off the sugar and carbs and it makes you sick for 3-5 days from my experience.  We are 6 weeks in.  It's pyscological right now. Which doesn't make it not real- just a little different. 

You think you're not losing weight because of something psychological? 

Listen dude, the body is complex and weird. It spent years storing that food as a mechanism to survive through a famine. Your body doesn't understand it's not still the 1300's. It took decades to gain that weight, and even with surgical intervention, you're getting pissed it's not coming off at a rate you find acceptable, it's somewhat absurd if you think about it. You've lost how much already, 60 lbs? Your body doesn't know what the fuck is going on right now. It's had it's diet change multiple times in the past few months, been cut open, and now adding exercise into the mix. It doesn't know what the fuck happening, and I guarantee you it's trying to maintain the status quo despite all that. 

There's a solid chance weight doesn't start rolling off you until your body is completely healed, your diet has stabilized, and everything has come to accept a new normal and that you're not literally dying and it gives itself permission to lose weight. 

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"Talk to your doctor or medical practitioner". Actually you can buy these on Amazon, but medical advice wouldn't hurt.

When geting out of bed, "dangle", hang your feet and legs over the edge of the bed for 30 seconds until your blood has a chance to equalize. Getting out of a chair, stand by the chair for 30 seconds to see if you are going to need to sit back down. I'm going to be a merciless, obnoxious "I told you so" if you fall and bust a bone. 

https://hillcrestsouth.com/news/when-should-you-wear-ted-hose-or-compression-socks

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1 hour ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Last paragraph didn’t read harshly to me. Yes- one of the reasons I’m writing them and sharing them is so other people can comment and I can examine them and think about them in a conscious and thoughtful way rather than a thoughtless way. 

One of the AA sayings is "your best thinking got you here, so maybe give it a rest."  That's a bit harsh, but similar sentiment.

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1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

You think you're not losing weight because of something psychological? 

Listen dude, the body is complex and weird. It spent years storing that food as a mechanism to survive through a famine. Your body doesn't understand it's not still the 1300's. It took decades to gain that weight, and even with surgical intervention, you're getting pissed it's not coming off at a rate you find acceptable, it's somewhat absurd if you think about it. You've lost how much already, 60 lbs? Your body doesn't know what the fuck is going on right now. It's had it's diet change multiple times in the past few months, been cut open, and now adding exercise into the mix. It doesn't know what the fuck happening, and I guarantee you it's trying to maintain the status quo despite all that. 

There's a solid chance weight doesn't start rolling off you until your body is completely healed, your diet has stabilized, and everything has come to accept a new normal and that you're not literally dying and it gives itself permission to lose weight. 

No. I think I'm not losing weight b/c my body is weird- has nothing to do with pyscology. My pissiness is Pysc, not withdrawl is what I was saying. 

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13 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

Are you open to the possibility it’s your “psych” that needs fixing? Your body is going to follow your brain.

The way I relate to and use food?  Sure, that was pretty abundant in everything I'm saying throughout about needing to rewire my thinking as it relates to that.

No- I don't think my attitude has anything to do with the number on my scale.  I mean- if it affects my actions yes- but if I burn a certain amount of calories and eat a certain amount of calories I don't think it matters if I'm happy or depressed when I'm doing that- I think the results will be the same regardless of how I feel. If that's not correct and how you feel matter at all this shit is even wilder and weirder than I ever imagined but I don't think that's the case. 

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1 hour ago, Wulaw Horn said:

No- I don't think my attitude has anything to do with the number on my scale.  I mean- if it affects my actions yes- but if I burn a certain amount of calories and eat a certain amount of calories I don't think it matters if I'm happy or depressed when I'm doing that- I think the results will be the same regardless of how I feel. If that's not correct and how you feel matter at all this shit is even wilder and weirder than I ever imagined but I don't think that's the case. 

Higher cortisol levels can definitely play a part.  Not just stimulation to eat fatty/sweet foods, but it can screw up sleep patterns and blood sugar levels.  

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4 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I don't think it's withdrawl. That's very real when you get off the sugar and carbs and it makes you sick for 3-5 days from my experience.  We are 6 weeks in.  It's pyscological right now. Which doesn't make it not real- just a little different. 

Read up on cognitive behavioral therapy. You don’t need an actual therapist to use the principles. Just need to be honest with yourself and view your situation as a disinterested observer. 

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4 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

The way I relate to and use food?  Sure, that was pretty abundant in everything I'm saying throughout about needing to rewire my thinking as it relates to that.

No- I don't think my attitude has anything to do with the number on my scale.  I mean- if it affects my actions yes- but if I burn a certain amount of calories and eat a certain amount of calories I don't think it matters if I'm happy or depressed when I'm doing that- I think the results will be the same regardless of how I feel. If that's not correct and how you feel matter at all this shit is even wilder and weirder than I ever imagined but I don't think that's the case. 

No sorry, I meant more along the lines of your way of thinking (which affects the doing).

Your way of thinking got you here. Maybe it’s time to try something different?

Someone mentioned upthread that it’s probably not a good idea to check your weight daily (for reasons that have become clear subsequently) and you replied along the lines of “that’s just how I think/work”. 

I say this with all due respect, but how you think/work got you here. The parallels to the alky thread are pretty stark, but maybe there needs to be a complete abandonment of whatever is driving that way of thinking?

It’s led you to say some fantastically crazy things like “I’m not losing weight” when in fact you’ve lost a ton of weight, just not how you expect (demand?) it?

Sorry I do not mean to be harsh, and sincerely hope you come out of this journey and happier and healthier person!

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4 hours ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

No sorry, I meant more along the lines of your way of thinking (which affects the doing).

Your way of thinking got you here. Maybe it’s time to try something different?

Someone mentioned upthread that it’s probably not a good idea to check your weight daily (for reasons that have become clear subsequently) and you replied along the lines of “that’s just how I think/work”. 

I say this with all due respect, but how you think/work got you here. The parallels to the alky thread are pretty stark, but maybe there needs to be a complete abandonment of whatever is driving that way of thinking?

It’s led you to say some fantastically crazy things like “I’m not losing weight” when in fact you’ve lost a ton of weight, just not how you expect (demand?) it?

Sorry I do not mean to be harsh, and sincerely hope you come out of this journey and happier and healthier person!

I didn’t say I’m not Losing weight. I said I haven’t lost any weight in the last 6 days and it’s pissing me off. That’s 2 completely different things.  I responded by eating the same stuff I always do on this deal (which is the point of the surgery) and getting in another sweat, just like always. 
I don’t have to adjust my thinking- I can’t sabatoge the way I did before. That was the adjustment of my thinking to say “I’m done with all this”. 
doesn’t mean I like the process or how it’s playing out. I just have to do it. Which I now have the tools to do.  
and I’ve said at least a half dozen times I know it’s going to get there. But this journey is about every step along the way and they aren’t all fun. Actually most of them haven’t been fun.  They’ve all been hard (but manageable due to the surgical intervention in a way they’ve never been before) in fact. Nobody likes hard while they are going through it or there wouldn’t be a sense of accomplishment afterwards.  

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11 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I didn’t say I’m not Losing weight. I said I haven’t lost any weight in the last 6 days and it’s pissing me off. That’s 2 completely different things.  I responded by eating the same stuff I always do on this deal (which is the point of the surgery) and getting in another sweat, just like always. 
I don’t have to adjust my thinking- I can’t sabatoge the way I did before. That was the adjustment of my thinking to say “I’m done with all this”. 
doesn’t mean I like the process or how it’s playing out. I just have to do it. Which I now have the tools to do.  
and I’ve said at least a half dozen times I know it’s going to get there. But this journey is about every step along the way and they aren’t all fun. Actually most of them haven’t been fun.  They’ve all been hard (but manageable due to the surgical intervention in a way they’ve never been before) in fact. Nobody likes hard while they are going through it or there wouldn’t be a sense of accomplishment afterwards.  

I was listening to a podcast by Peter Attia.  Doctor focusing on longevity.  He has waged a personal war with self criticism, perfectionism, and at times rage when outcomes come up short.  Been that way since he was a kid.  Almost cost him his marriage.  His therapist told him something that struck a cord with me (as I can be that way as well).

When one of these episodes comes up, take out your phone and record a voice message to yourself as if you are outside your body, giving advice to someone else going through the same thing (and then text it to the therapist).  This would happen multiples a day.  He said it allowed him to take a step back and a take a holistic perspective on what was happening.  To focus less on the specific flaw or issue and take in the whole picture and be significantly less critical of smaller, individual mistakes that are part of a larger process.  

Food for thought

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2 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

264.8.  Finally!  2 pounds away from 60 down from my fattest. Now down 34 from the day of my surgery. 
And I’m released from soft food today and can eat some food with actual texture and crunch. 

What are you looking forward to eating today?

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12 minutes ago, Da Fino said:

What are you looking forward to eating today?

Ha. I'm still eating leftovers at work, so not sure what the wife has planned.  I think she said she's doing greek food with some sort of chicken dish.  That should be fun.  

No fried foods they said pretty much ever and not a whole lot of sugar etc.  Protein then carb then leafy vegetable in that order. I think I'd really like a filet (like 4 OZ) creamed spinach (with reasonable mods) and a small dallop of mashed potatoes. 

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Pretty good week I'd say.  Threw in something different last night while boy was at the Dojo and walked the stip center 5 times (I think this was like 2.5 miles or so in total) and on the corners diagonal from each other I did sets of lunges and squats.  That picked my heartrate way up and got me in the fat burn zone way more and quicker than other times.  So, that's probably what I'm going to mess with working forward as much as possible. 

 

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70 bpm
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262.6!  Big time. The fattest I ever saw on the scale was 322.6 or 322.8 so that means I’m down officially 60 pounds from that. 
In the next week or so I should see a 2 and a 5 on the beginning of the scale for the first time in 12 years, since my eldest was a baby. 
BMI from 42.6 to 34.6. It’s not going to happen by tomorrow but maybe by my birfday I will be merely overweight instead of obese for the first time since I worked for the Jag corps as a summer intern when I was 23 (I’m now 44). 
 

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1 hour ago, Wulaw Horn said:

260.4!  
Very close. Probably go backwards or sideways for a week but pretty cool for now. 

Listen, I think after the events of the past few days, it's become rather obvious to this board that you were being a bit of a hand-wringing little bitch. Now that you're actually dropping weight, maybe you can plug up your bleeding vagina for at least a little bit?

/ducks

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1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Listen, I think after the events of the past few days, it's become rather obvious to this board that you were being a bit of a hand-wringing little bitch. Now that you're actually dropping weight, maybe you can plug up your bleeding vagina for at least a little bit?

/ducks

Maybe.  Maybe not. Maybe go fuck yourself.  Just like it was stupid that i went a week in a row twice without the number moving it's not like it's going to be 2 pounds every day for whenever.  Now that I've got the loss banked I'm actually ok if it stalls out for a bit- the total number makes sense to me know.  That's 19 pounds in the last month- most of which was liquids and soft foods.  When it was 13 pounds over a month with all liquids and soft foods it was demoralizing.

Supposed to lose 8-16 pounds a month with most of that front loaded, obviously so if I didn't max out in the first month on a 600 calorie liquid diet that was going to be discouraging b/c easiest month to lose. Got there in just the nick of time with that last 3 days- now I'm happy.  Don't get me wrong- 1 more day and seeing 259.xx would feel awesome.  

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