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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/03/21 in Posts
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I am 2 bottles of wine deep and just switched to vodka but I have to get this stream of consciousness out now otherwise it will die within my drunken mind. Sorry @immamac if I am not doing the article thing right. But anyway, I have been reflecting heavily on this coaching hiring/firing and where all the 995ers have been receiving their info, given their info and basically what they have been told and when. Like I said, I am drunk and liable to get drunker by the time I hit submit, however I think I have a good bead on these aspects and I am looking for your feedback to see what needs to be changed. For reference, I am a subscriber to IT, TFB and 247 but obviously Surly is my bottom bitch and that Oatmeal Cream Pie Puta Ketch will never receive a dime of my money as long as I live, and the only reason I subscribe to the rest is to post to Surly because as you will soon see...they are worthless (besides IT to an extent). So pour another Cutty Sark, order another McRib and Let's GO! -OB-Fudge Round Fucker(aka Ketch)-Lets start with the one I know the least about and have no interest in learning more...there are a select few on this board that have posted Jiggly Goochs info on this site (don't blame y'all for going on OB....but also it is a terrible life decision) but the message I have seen, has been consistent of...they literally don't know shit. Ketch ran with the bullshit CDC statement, same as FCB and others, however he was the first to 995er to hedge. I recently listened to his YAK podcast (Fuck me, that is how slow work was last week) and he could not have back pedaled faster unless there was a snickers within his prereferral vision ...basically he blamed CDC for not being in control and wholly seemed out of the loop. Some of his posts seemed legit ripped from IT, this was days after they posted the info. I think OB hitched their wagon to Herman early, and once the Herman train left the station they were left scrambling, (Anwar being Hermans mouthpiece was adorable). Simply put, they are worthless...HEY KETCH, EAT MY FUCKING HONEY BUN ASSHOLE (Receiving info from admin/CDC and some donors who have lost their self respect) -AAS- Good God Damn...I don't think they even deserve a section but some dumb ass will comment if I don't. Brian Davis and Kurt Bowels are the most worthless "journalists:" that call Austin home. They need to be disregarded fully, they are fed information that Texas higher ups needs to be shared, otherwise the only info they may have is the new special at El Arroyo or some funny cat video. They should be disregarded entirely in all facets of media, unless they do actually find a funny cat video then hit my PMs. Hey Brian Davis and Kunt Bowels...EAT MY FUCKING TAINT! (They know less than a devout member of the Amish community) -TFB- Ok @OnAComputer yall surprised the hell out of me. I completely disregarded your coaching search sources as well as yall throwing out Sark as an option....let alone as the favorite as Super K stated damn near a month ago...I am legit impressed... HOWEVER, you also ran with the CDC bullshit and recently ran with the whole Texas is going to retain Herman and then back pedaled and said that Herman could be replaced almost 60% or better....I enjoy TFB a lot for recruiting and they may be the best bunch of dudes in the 995 sea but there is something missing in their coverage. Also why is there no board on your site? I need more unverified/unknowledgeable random strangers to post some shit (Good dudes and honestly shocked they have been this accurate) -247- FUCK YOU CHIP BROWN, YOU ARE A MISERABLE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO NOBODY LIKES! YOU ARE A MOUTHPIECE OF CDC, I WOULD CALL YOU A LAP DOG BUT PEOPLE LIKE DOGS! AND NO ONE LIKES YOU! IMAGINE WORKING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO CREATE SOMETHING AWESOME AND THEN BEING SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU COULD NEVER REALIZE THAT DREAM. NO ONE LIKES YOU, YOUR COLLEAGUES DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE SUPPORTERS. YOU WERE FED ONE KERNEL OF INFO SOLELY BASED ON YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING LAP DOG. YOU REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS RETURNING AND YOU IMMEDIATELY BACKPEDALED. YOU ARE NOT A JOURNALIST, YOU ARE NOT A NEWS BREAKING REPORTER, YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE. IF I WAS IN CHARGE AND YOU WERE MY ONLY OPTION TO REPORT NEWS, I WOULD YELL OBSCENTITIES INTO A WHOOPIE CUSHION AND LET MARK MANGINO SIT ON IT INSTEAD OF FEEDING YOU.... FUCK YOU CHIP, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH....Apologies to Mike Roach, Nick Harris, Jeff Howe and the others on the Longhorn Blitz, yall are awesome and I cannot wait for yall to get poached by a semi decent site....FUCK CHIP BROWN! -IT- Burton has been a complete game changer for them in terms of credibility and connections. They were the ONLY site to state that Herman was out regardless of any other scenarios. All other sites ran with the CDC narrative but IT did not budge whatsoever....that said they also were not the first to report Sark or that Herman was gone. I think they may have ran a foul of CDC and Admin solely because of their unwavering. It is so brutally honest who was fed by admin and who wasn't. Obviously IT is getting fed by the BMDs but if they are the ones making the move than we know who we need to be paying attention to. Between Nahlin and Burton, they have the only information I pay attention to out of the 995er world. The admin seems to not be as favorable however... - Surly- I am drunk, you are drunk, we can remain drunk...hopefully Sark doesn't. Let's go hire a fucking baller ass staff and win some big ass games. FUCK OU, FUCK AGGY, FUCK CHIP BROWN! HOOK EM! View full article72 points
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So, as I struggle to digest the events of the last couple days like Aaron Franklin trying to keep down a John Cornyn holiday brisket, I'm left thinking about what it is that I've learned through obsessively monitoring to a point of psychotic episodes investing an unhealthy amount of my life on the Urban or Bust thread. While the lessons learned are many and the knowledge gained considerable I thought it useful to summarize the most significant and transformative among them in the following notes. I think of this as an essential compendium to All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. If Surly is a sporting underworld; a depraved, alcohol fueled, drug addled, sexually deviant underworld at that (no ifs about it), then @closetojumping is our Godfather, sitting in an oversized chair, legs crossed, arms on the armrests, sternly watching over our activity. Occasionally granting us brief treasured audiences to dispense a modicum of his knowledge of confidential dealings on a need to know basis, or a needed slap and admonishment to act like a man when we uncontrollably panic and whine over some non-event. It's all fun and games until someone learns a little too much for their own good and gets the dreaded "see your PMs" directive. I'm sure CTJ's consigliere, @SydneyCarton, would try to reassure us all that it's not personal, it's strictly business. I have no doubt that Urban would be ours if the UT admin had put it in CTJ's hands so he could have made Urban "an offer he couldn't refuse". By the way, am I the only one who hears Robert De Niro's voice in their head when reading CTJ's posts? Which brings us to @derpyhorndog. I can only assume this guy is either a CIA data analyst or a frustrated wanna-be air traffic controller. An enthusiastic worker with a keen eye for details, he's that poor soul who stumbles into illicit information he shouldn't have found and next thing he knows he's waking up with the severed propeller of his favorite plane in bed with him, followed by an extended disappearance only to finally reappear mumbling something about being busy with some "contract" work. @Nicole44 is one of those rare good-hearted souls that thankfully for us hasn't recognized that a girl like her shouldn't be in a place like this. She was without question a campus hottie back in her time and has provided much appreciated evidence that she is still a head turner. With infectious enthusiasm (we'll assume it's the only infectious aspect of her) she can be counted on to come hard with BDE every time she posts, and has posted enough pics to have also caused considerable hard BDE. One side note; if any of you bear the slightest resemblance to Panhandle fauna you are advised to avoid Nicole's family at all costs or risk your head being stuffed and mounted on the wall of her family's cabin, assuming they can find a few available square inches. I am convinced that true to his avatar @Hagbard Celine is an alien life form, though of the Vogon race. Either that or a public servant/government bureaucrat. Never mind that your family has experienced catastrophe, the world is about to be destroyed, or you want to post some secondhand coaching information, Hagbard will have none of that unless all the t's are crossed, i's dotted, three forms of picture ID are presented, and all forms are signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't let him read poetry to you. What can I say about @futureman? I could say nothing since like a lot of other posters here I have him on ignore, but unfortunately enough of you other fuckers quote this moron that he can't be totally avoided. Given that he appears to have contributed nothing positive to Surly throughout his tenure and is nothing but an insufferable worthless troll, it's beyond comprehension how he has achieved so much rep as to be far beyond crowdsourcing. I can only assume that in past threads of excitement and happiness that he received collateral pos rep without thought to the consequences. In that regard the best analogy for Futureman seems to be the STD that was the unintended consequence of a brief indiscretion that we are forced to live with as it periodically flares up at the most inopportune times in order to deprive us of small measures of joy. It's also possible in my opinion that he is just a sooner troll, but that's redundant with the STD so no further discussion needed on that. Have you ever been in paradise trying to enjoy thoughts of all the wonderful things around you but there's a damn horsefly buzzing around you that won't go away and keeps dragging you back to the reality that there is no paradise and your life actually sucks? That's @Errestaurants. A seemingly miserable curmudgeon who has no intention of allowing you to avoid sharing in his cheerlessness. In fairness though I can't completely hold it against him as I attribute much of his wretchedness to the likely abuse the poor little guy may have received in life given his diminutive stature. Without question one of the stars of the Urban or Bust quest was @RGBIII. When it comes to meat he is the man we all would like to be (no, I don't mean that meat). This guy apparently smokes and consumes an entire brisket every single day of his life. I have an image of him heading for bed each night deep in a state of meat sweats, frantically toweling himself off like Fatterson on the sideline of a mid afternoon early September game in Houston. Despite that, where RGB will live on in infamy is as the spark that caused the conflagration of the great boot toe debate of 2020. Can you call yourself a man in square toed boots? The debate will rage on, left for future generations to resolve. Oh, but if you need someone to shamelessly tweet at married women expressing his desire to share his meat with them (NO, NOT THAT MEAT. get your mind out of the gutter), then he's your guy. God bless that poor long suffering soul that is @immamac. He's like a creative wizard (that's a nice way of saying an unkempt, long haired, unshowered slacker) who creates a glorious high tech living space for like minded spirits. Unfortunately he made the catastrophic mistake of taking in a couple of stray cats and now he finds his wondrous creation infested with feral felines, shitting on his servers, coughing up furballs on his keyboard, and peeing in the corners. He now wanders this space in the futile endeavor of cat herding, fingers sticky from old McRib sauce, muttering to himself about how to monetize the piles of poop filled cat litter that the residents leave for him. @troph brought a different kind of energy to the Urban or Bust thread. She made clear that she was unable to provide the BDE that was being demanded, but instead more than made up for it by introducing us to BVE and brought plenty of it. She also encouraged us to open our minds and our anuses to new, exciting, and according to her, enjoyable experiences. Her rallying cry actually proved to be prophetic as when it was all said and done it felt like we had all been fucked in the ass by everyone from Urban, to the UT admin, to the "insiders". This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry troph. You get Sark After Dark instead of Urban. I can't agree with troph about the enjoyment, but it's become par for the course with our coaching searches so we must at least be getting used to it. And then there's a truly worthless poster, @nunna yo bizness. This guy contributes nothing worthwhile as he has no sources for information, brings no unique insight, and has no redeeming pictures of brisket or ex-girlfriend's tits. Hell, the guy can't even imbed tweets in a post. I'll be shocked if he ever posts anything of note on Surly. I suppose I should cut him some slack as I have been told by the voices in my head a reliable source that he has some condition called Multiple Personality Disorder, whatever the fuck that is. I'll probably never meet him, but if I did the one bit of advice I would pass along is to stop believing in tweets from squids and hip-hop basketball players, and trust in the administration to carry out the process of a coaching search (yeah, I can't keep a straight face on that last part either). My final learning from this whole episode is that I will now take great joy going forward in any football related misery that comes Urban's way. Whether it be a stress filled failed attempt at the NFL, having him watch our new coach take what could have been his team to the playoffs over the next few years (fuck off, I can dream if I want), or simply watching his coach worthy years and opportunities slip away while his legacy fades in the success of other coaches. Yeah, I'm a petty bastard. As for whether our new coach will bring us glory or misery, time will tell. Is he a rehabbed diamond in the rough who will take us to glory in short order, or will we find him pressing his butt cheeks to the mirror making us look at them, somehow?41 points
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This is the final warning. If you post off topic expect a day off. There are threads to discuss Sark's history and other shit. If you have a post that was deleted it's because it was off topic. Next time a day off comes with it.41 points
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Washington Mod from 247 started a topic and has commented in others about Sark: I dealt with Steve a lot while he was at Washington. First thing to know is he is incredibly bright. He learned a lot at Washington and fought some demons. He's a bright, articulate, charming, engaging guy who is also competitive as hell. He's appeared to put his demons behind him. You're going to love Sark. It will be interesting to see who he fills his staff with. Knowing the competitive nature of Sark, I'm sure he negotiated a large assistant salary pool. If he gets Tosh Lupoi on staff, watch out. Tosh is one of the best recruiters I've ever dealt with. He's currently with Atlanta. He's an outstanding recruiter and phenomenal working with QB's. He trusts his guys and has an edge. Guys love playing for him. Texas didn't hit a home run with Sark. They hit a grand slam. Not sure you have a grasp on how good of a recruiter he is. Relentless and ruthless. He'll win the press conference, the team, and current recruits. He's good. He did a pretty good job at UW. He took over an 0-12 program which was bad. Really bad. He changed the culture quickly and had the kids beleiviong in temselves. He hired Nick Holt as his DC, which didn't work at all. He let him go and hired Justin Wilcox, which was a home run. Won seven games his last two years, but recruited very, very well. was set up with a great roster once he purged all Tyrone's guys and improved the talent. The Washington team that made CFP was mostl;y led by guys Sark brought in. Didn't mean to upset anybody, just thought I'd add my two cents on the hire since I dealt with him quite a bit at UW. Most Washington fans are happy for him because they understand the situation. Texas gained a lot of fans from the fine state of Washington today.Good luck If I'm a Texas fan, I'm excited and intrigued. Especially interested in the staff he assembles. With stops at Washington, USC, Atlanta, and Alabama, I'm sure he's learned a lot. Sark isn't a rockhead. He's a very, very bright guy. Tosh is in Atlanta and they will be hiring a new coach. Word from a source close to him is he would prefer to stay in the NFL. If he doesn't land an NFL gig, he could join Sark.25 points
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Lets get this back on topic. If you want to talk about other shit not related to the topic post somewhere else.22 points
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You give Tosh a position group (DL), some sort of elevated title, and plenty of cash. If he says yes, great. If he insists on being the DC, then we need to move on.20 points
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That dude is probably having a really really bad day...lost his source entirely in one fell swoop. He’s probably inputting his credit card details for an IT membership now19 points
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Wanting to be the last major school who desperately props up a system where administrators make millions while refusing to pay adults their value while they endure physical punishment and risk potential injury for your entertainment on fall Saturdays doesn't make you the ethical one. Quite the opposite, actually.18 points
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Keeping on topic, I hope Bob Shipley is retained. One good thing Herman did was rebuild the walk-on program into something of a value-add. Shipley was crucial for that.17 points
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New Year's Day was a good day. We hung out all day and she ate all kinds of treats, blueberries and apple slices, she even played in what capacity that she could. Yesterday morning we had to have my girl euthanized. It hurts like hell and the tears have come and gone all week but at least she's no longer in pain anymore. She was my first Cane Corso, I've met some wonderful people as I got into the breed and learned more about them. The thing about Corsos that other owners can attest to, is the level of bond that they have with their owners and their chosen person. For 8 years Lianna was like my shadow, if I was around she wanted to be right next to me. She was a workout buddy, a goofy dog that was always in the mood to play yet a serious protector when needed. In the end she couldn't move her hind legs but yesterday she tugged at my leg with all of her strength. I thought maybe she was hungry or thirsty, she just wanted to be close so she could lay her head on my lap and take a nap. Rest well, Forte Bello's Lianna.17 points
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Hook ‘em Sam! 🤘 Thanks for the Sugar Bowl, that was the most fun I have had as a Horn fan in a decade.16 points
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Why don’t all you charmin soft limp dicks that are sad it’s Sark go take up a collection and get some time with the BMD and see why Urban isn’t etching his name on the door? Do I know that Sark is the answer? Nope. But I’m sure as fuck glad that Tom is gone and listening to a normal human in that press conference makes me optimistic. Quit being a bunch of spoil twats and realize that everyone you wanted probably doesn’t want this fucking job. I wonder why. You’re loads that should have been swallowed.15 points
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The fact that we just hired a coach who in the year 2021 still maintains his contacts in a Rolodex sends up huge red flags. I don’t know, guys.14 points
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Sam took us from quarterback hell and an offense that couldn’t even muster 100 yards against a shitty Arkansas team to what we have now. We are light years better. He carried this team on his shoulders and I’m proud that he’s a longhorn. Kick ass Sam! Hook em! Lastly, he will always be a legend in my eyes for telling that midget Kyler “take the loss pussy”.14 points
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Gerry Hamilton said he is hearing a lot of good things in regards to keeping Carrington14 points
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I'm probably in the minority, but I'd rather keep Ash than take Boom.14 points
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My dream is Herman gets hired as Bama’s OC and the Brock twins get to be coached by him next year.14 points
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Yeah, Muschamp is a shiny object and up there with Leach on the surly irrational fanboy scale. I wouldn’t hate the hire - he does have a good history and it’s not like Sark would be hiring an underachieving buddy - but selling him as a clear upgrade over Ash is a stretch.14 points
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[emoji444] A tweet for every occasion![emoji444]13 points
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Trump is going to have to resign after this.13 points
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I know everybody has a hard on for Muschamp but outside of one relatively shitty year as DC at Auburn in between his Florida and South Carolina gigs, he hasn't coordinated a defense in a decade since he was last here. His South Carolina teams didn't really punch above their weight on defense either, especially considering they played in the shitty sec east plus aggy every year. Clemson routinely shit all over him, but they do that to just about everybody. I'm not saying he wouldn't be a good hire, but do we know he still has the goods to scheme against today's offenses? Is he really a slam dunk? I wouldn't mind them sticking with Ash. His defenses tackled amazingly well considering where they came from last season and they didn't beat themselves. And his scheme seems easy to recruit to One thing I do like about Sark is that he should have a pretty extensive network between Carroll and Saban plus his stint in the NFL. I think everybody lost a good bit of confidence in Strong right off the bat after he hired Watson. Same thing to a certain extent with Herman and Beck, although that was somewhat more justifiable given Herman's background on Qb development and play calling and Beck's reputation as a recruiter. I'm all ready to make snap judgments and overreact to whoever comes on board.13 points
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Thank God the names are dudes we have actually heard of and not Drew fucking Mehringer 2.013 points
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I find it hilarious everyone wanting to keep Ash, when those same people were shitting all over his hire a year ago. Let Sark pick whoever the fuck he wants, because he's not bringing his G5 boys with him.13 points
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That's not an unfamiliar concept for Georgia I guess.12 points
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Live look at Carrington “hitting the road” during a pandemic...12 points
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Sark will hopefully put together a solid staff. We have learned thru bitter experience that those hires (and other shit) can break u. I’m still whelmed but happy TH is gone. Sark has my support. Hook’em🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼12 points
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Good enough for Saban not good enough for Texas. This is how you Surl12 points
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When someone asks one of the 12 senators about the Trump Georgia phone call....12 points
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Unleashing Lupoi on the state of Texas is pure unadulterated boner fuel12 points
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Had a chance to sleep on yesterday’s big news. It is actually pretty shocking that Texas hired Sark. It’s means several things. First, Texas is taking a pretty big risk. It sounds like he may or may not have been the second choice after Meyer and the fact they went forward with him indicates how serious the situation with the program has become. Second, it means that there had to be more issues behind the scenes with Herman than has been discussed publicly. Texas had every opportunity to just roll with Herman another year after Meyer declined. Third, CDC is staking his career at Texas on a pretty risky hire. Maybe he was forced into it, and maybe he can just say Sark was the only viable candidate available, but people won’t care if Sark fails. they will blame CDC and he will catch hell for it, if not lose his job over it. Finally, I have many mixed feelings about the hire. For Strong, I just shrugged my shoulders and assumed Texas knew what they were doing. Little did I know that they had no idea what they were doing. For Herman, I was like everyone and figured we needed to get the hot coach, but had concerns about several red flags we’d all seen with him. Those red flags apparently turned out to be real issues. With Sark the red flags are there, but I’m encouraged by my wife’s remarks. The second she saw Herman’s first comments as head coach she immediately disliked him. For Sark, she immediately thought he was better. It reminded me of the Mack hire. The second Mack started talking I knew he was the right coach for Texas at that time. Sark may just deliver a title again and if he does, we will finally be back from the wilderness, where Tennessee, USC, Michigan, and Nebraska still reside. I think as a result of yesterday, we are in a much better situation than all four of those blue bloods. I’ll take it.12 points
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Good god, Carl is still here?12 points
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Above Roach info pasted as plain text for my dark mode homies — We expect some staff movement this week, but we continue to hear names of interest. It's also important to note that there is significant interest from folks around the country in job openings. I've heard from several people expressing interest in getting an interview and I've talked to coaches and trainers around the state who have said many of their out of state coaching contacts have asked about how they can get their name in the mix. This is still Texas, and there's still a palpable buzz when there are openings. — Chip Brown reported Saturday that he was hearing Stan Drayton would be a strong candidate to be retained. We haven't heard anything to the contrary and today, Nick and I heard from several sources who seemed to back up that the Texas running backs coach is expecting to stay. This would be a strong holdover with his influence in the LJ Johnson recruitment, the trust players like Bijan Robinson have in him, and the future connection with guys like Jaydon Blue. — Yesterday I heard some buzz that Tosh Lupoi would be open to returning to college football and his ties to Sarkisian obviously make him a great candidate for the Longhorns. Lupoi is an impact recruiter Texas needs to jump-start the once-hot 2022 effort. I haven't heard much new intel today, but one source told Horns247 that they thought Lupoi would prefer to stay at the NFL level. That goes against what a few other sources have said, but it's important to paint a complete picture. From what we know, Sarkisian definitely reached out to Lupoi and expressed interest in having him return to the college ranks. Lupoi was on the Atlanta Falcons staff and their season ended today. We will see what happens, but this is a huge target for Texas to land one of the top recruiters in the country. — I mentioned Oregon defensive backs coach Keith Heyward was a name to watch. I spoke to another source today who indicated there was definitely some interest on Heyward's side and he's discussed making a move if the situation is right. Heyward is co-DC at Oregon but doesn't call the defense. It remains to be seen if Sarkisian's DC choice would want to name his own assistants, but Heyward is a guy who has experience with Sarkisian and would be another plus recruiter. — Adrian Klemm is another name I mentioned in part one of The Stampede. The assistant offensive line coach for the Steelers is headed into the playoffs, so if Sarkisian wants to hire him, he might need to wait until Pittsburgh is eliminated. A source I spoke with said that Klemm is very interested in getting back to college and feels Texas would be a great fit. A former SMU assistant, Klemm knows the state of Texas and wants to run his own room again. — There was a report from Football Scoop that Sarkisian would be interested in bringing Alabama wide receivers coach Holmon Wiggins with him. It's not a name I've personally heard, but I did some digging on him today. A former New Mexico player, Wiggins had stops at Illinois State, Tulsa, Memphis, and Virginia Tech before landing at Alabama. Wiggins is a native of Los Angeles and has a fairly good rep as a recruiter. I asked Evan Stewart, who holds an Alabama offer, about him today and Stewart said he really likes what he knows about him so far. — There hasn't been a ton of movement in the transfer portal at this point. Texas took a shot at Jaiden Lars-Woodbey, but he chose Boston College over the Longhorns. An excellent source told me that Lars-Woodbey decided on Texas, but several players reached out to dissuade him. Texas gauged interest with several offensive linemen in the portal, but I was told they weren't really ready to move on any of them and kept telling them that they needed more time to evaluate roster numbers. Things will likely change under Sarkisian, but that will take some time to work out11 points
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