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I'm An Alcoholic


El Diablo

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Posted (edited)

@GhostOfTomJoad I'm no scientist, but if they liver is damaged or not processing alcohol effectively, it would seem to me that it would it would have no course but to continue to accumulate. I think it is a fairly common notion that severe alcoholics at some point seem to no longer have a chill zone. They seem to go from zero to blasted. Our window of being able to participate normally with the outside world or enjoy our drinking gets shorter and shorter.

The body does produce alcohol naturally, but not at those levels. At least not that I've ever heard of. One of the questions that an arresting  officer will ask is if the person being arrested has diabetes.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by JohnnyRage
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  • 3 weeks later...

I’ve been drinking a lot on top of taking Lunesta and that combination put me in the ER Saturday morning as I was unresponsive when my wife tried to wake me. So, per the ER doctor and my PCP no more sleeping pills and no more alcohol. I’ve used alcohol as a crutch to deal with chronic pain and as a sedative allowing me to sleep. Then, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep unless I drank more.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.   Something like this had to happen forcing me to modify my behavior, so I don’t wake up dead.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.  I knew this day of reckoning would come.  I’m just glad I’m alive to see it.

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3 minutes ago, Harrison Stafford said:

I’ve been drinking a lot on top of taking Lunesta and that combination put me in the ER Saturday morning as I was unresponsive when my wife tried to wake me. So, per the ER doctor and my PCP no more sleeping pills and no more alcohol. I’ve used alcohol as a crutch to deal with chronic pain and as a sedative allowing me to sleep. Then, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep unless I drank more.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.   Something like this had to happen forcing me to modify my behavior, so I don’t wake up dead.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.  I knew this day of reckoning would come.  I’m just glad I’m alive to see it.

Glad you came to.  A lot of us never regain consciousness and lose the battle with the bottle.  Your BAC tells me you qualify as someone who can't stop once you start drinking and you are correct to realize that you are now at a turning point.  There are a lot of us here on this thread that are willing to share our experience which is not unlike yours in many respects.  Feel free to message me if I can be of any help to you finding the solution to your alcohol problem.

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5 minutes ago, pch said:

Glad you came to.  A lot of us never regain consciousness and lose the battle with the bottle.  Your BAC tells me you qualify as someone who can't stop once you start drinking and you are correct to realize that you are now at a turning point.  There are a lot of us here on this thread that are willing to share our experience which is not unlike yours in many respects.  Feel free to message me if I can be of any help to you finding the solution to your alcohol problem.

Thank you for your offer of support and don’t be surprised if you hear from me. My doctor said I’m going through a washing out period and the alcohol cravings could return bigly in 2 1/2 to 3 weeks.  In the evening, automatically, I want to reach for the bottle….,but I also want to stay alive.  I’m embarrassed and ashamed for keeping this from my wife who has been >extremely< understanding since Saturday.  Now, she wakes up in the middle of the night and reaches over to touch me to make sure I’m not out of bed and drinking (and I’m cognizant enough now to feel that).  This morning, she asked where I was keeping the bottles because she had looked all over the house and couldn’t find them. As it played out, I killed the last bottle before ending up in the ER.  I have to regain her trust and will do whatever I need to do to make that happen.

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1 hour ago, Harrison Stafford said:

I’ve been drinking a lot on top of taking Lunesta and that combination put me in the ER Saturday morning as I was unresponsive when my wife tried to wake me. So, per the ER doctor and my PCP no more sleeping pills and no more alcohol. I’ve used alcohol as a crutch to deal with chronic pain and as a sedative allowing me to sleep. Then, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep unless I drank more.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.   Something like this had to happen forcing me to modify my behavior, so I don’t wake up dead.  My blood alcohol level in the ER was .345.  I knew this day of reckoning would come.  I’m just glad I’m alive to see it.

That's really scary.  Good luck to you.  I quit drinking more than two years ago. All aspects of life are better without booze.  There are probably people on here who can help you a lot more than me.  I read Allen Carr's quitting drinking the Easy Way.  It worked for me.

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That was who I used to be, waking up early because alcohol got me up, started drinking, send the wife off to work, couple more drinks, pass out. Wake up around 9-10am and start again. Rinse, repeat, all through the day. 

Harrison Stafford, I hope you get the help you need. It will not be an easy ride, but one that is accomplished mostly just by "hanging in there", not giving up. The best thing I ever did was to open up, open my mind to whatever was out there, if it worked for others, surely it will work for me. And it did. 6.5 years without a drink. 

I wish you all the best, I hope as time goes on you feel better and better. 

Holler if you need anything 

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Thank you for your offer of support and don’t be surprised if you hear from me. My doctor said I’m going through a washing out period and the alcohol cravings could return bigly in 2 1/2 to 3 weeks.  In the evening, automatically, I want to reach for the bottle….,but I also want to stay alive.  I’m embarrassed and ashamed for keeping this from my wife who has been >extremely

Checking in. Unlike some heavy drinkers that show up in this forum from time to time, there's no way in hell I could stay stopped without the sober mafia of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My goodness I loved drinking. I didn't want to stop. But like a punch in the face the disease made it plain that I had to choose which I loved more, drinking or breathing.

Quitting is easy, and Harrison if you can abruptly put it down without difficulty then my hat is off to you. I always had a problem staying stopped. My brain forgets the bad stuff, and inevitably I’d start looking for excuses to escape and drink. My chemistry experiment lasted 22 years before I was ready to tap out.

Please PM me your number if you want to talk, I love talking about recovery.
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On 5/22/2024 at 4:32 PM, Harrison Stafford said:

Thank you for your offer of support and don’t be surprised if you hear from me. My doctor said I’m going through a washing out period and the alcohol cravings could return bigly in 2 1/2 to 3 weeks.  In the evening, automatically, I want to reach for the bottle….,but I also want to stay alive.  I’m embarrassed and ashamed for keeping this from my wife who has been >extremely< understanding since Saturday.  Now, she wakes up in the middle of the night and reaches over to touch me to make sure I’m not out of bed and drinking (and I’m cognizant enough now to feel that).  This morning, she asked where I was keeping the bottles because she had looked all over the house and couldn’t find them. As it played out, I killed the last bottle before ending up in the ER.  I have to regain her trust and will do whatever I need to do to make that happen.

I've been there and may be again.  I wish you all the best brother.  Listen to these old-timers.  They got me started on my path, along with some real life friends.  You gotta start somewhere.  

It's a beaten cliche, but it's fucking damn true.  There will be weeks, sometimes months even, that go by you don't even think about drinking.  And then there'll be hours that last an eternity.  I don't know how it goes for everybody else from a mental and physical standpoint.  Sounds like you've got a supportive partner, that helps.  But as Bear taught me, it's not about them...it's about doing it for yourself.  My wife earned the right for all I do wrong to tell me to fuck off and clean up.  There are days where she's helpful and encouraging and other days where she's just "Do your fucking work, get your shit together."  and I finally am starting to get it after awhile.  

 If you're in Austin, PM me.  I like my meeting group, mostly guys like us.  I am in no position to be a sponsor, but ask these fellas for help and if you want to my group---would be happy to meet you up for some coffee before/after.  All that to say, hope you stay okay...I've been in a similar boat and may one day be again.  But congrats on the lucidity to see what is happening and start the long path that never ends.  

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20 hours ago, BearSchlong said:


Checking in. Unlike some heavy drinkers that show up in this forum from time to time, there's no way in hell I could stay stopped without the sober mafia of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My goodness I loved drinking. I didn't want to stop. But like a punch in the face the disease made it plain that I had to choose which I loved more, drinking or breathing.

Quitting is easy, and Harrison if you can abruptly put it down without difficulty then my hat is off to you. I always had a problem staying stopped. My brain forgets the bad stuff, and inevitably I’d start looking for excuses to escape and drink. My chemistry experiment lasted 22 years before I was ready to tap out.

Please PM me your number if you want to talk, I love talking about recovery.

Like @BearSchlong, I can’t stop once I start, and I can’t stay stopped…… without a sufficient substitute that I found in recovering. 
 

No one seemed to understand, Alcohol wasn’t a problem, it was a solution for me, but the solution had horrible consequences.  Taking medication for a cold that give me cancer - over and over.

having a different perspective and a new way to views the rules of engagement in life through the steps of AA proved to be a solution to my problems that exceeded any hope I might have had.  I just wanted to stop. It gave me far more.

If you find you can’t stay stopped without becoming miserable- restless, irritable and discontent- there is a solution. Come on in….. The door is open.  Godspeed! 

 

 

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All of this.  I have very little clarity about it after to almost two years.  But couple things I’ve gleaned.  Problematic drinking is way different this solution-based drinking.  I could not see the difference for a decade.  And when your with your withdrawals are far worse than blackout drunk night; those are your checkpoints.  
 

Out of the blue my cousin’s husband called to check on me today. He’s like a big brother to me.  He’s been struggling with drinking and other health issues.  But I suppose I’ve just been apparently in an obvious rough patch lately to people.  But it reminded Me of upthread.  90% of the people you know can’t fucking wait to lecture you on what a weak asshole you are for drinking.  But there is 10% that will miraculously emerge when you need people the most to let you know you are flawed but you are not alone.  

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I had a weird day.   I started a new job last week.  Lunch has either been leftovers or going out with co-workers.  Today, I didn't bring lunch, 3 of the other 4 people weren't in the office and the 4th was leaving early for the weekend.  In the old days, this would have meant going to a bar that served food and drinking for a while.  Granted, I spent the last 4 years pretty much being on my own for lunch (and 2020-2022 day drinking almost every day.)  I ended up just going to HEB to get some snack snuff for my office and then grabbing fast food.  

I didn't feel like going to a bar and didn't particularly want a drink but I was acutely aware of what used to be.   I've been sober for 2 years, 3 months and 11 days.  I wasn't hard to skip hitting a watering hole but damn if it didn't cross my mind.  

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I was reticent about sharing my addiction with alcohol, but confession is good for the soul and I’d read enough on this thread to know most or all of you have been where I am.   I’ve quit alcohol several times only to relapse.  However, the abuse was nothing near the descent of this most recent episode which began in mid-September of last year. I feel pretty good today and we’ll see if that trajectory continues.  Thanks to each of you who has offered help.  I know you’re there for me if I need you.   One day at a time, sweet Jesus.  One day at a time.  

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11 minutes ago, Harrison Stafford said:

I was reticent about sharing my addiction with alcohol, but confession is good for the soul and I’d read enough on this thread to know most or all of you have been where I am.   I’ve quit alcohol several times only to relapse.  However, the abuse was nothing near the descent of this most recent episode which began in mid-September of last year. I feel pretty good today and we’ll see if that trajectory continues.  Thanks to each of you who has offered help.  I know you’re there for me if I need you.   One day at a time, sweet Jesus.  One day at a time.  

One hour, one minute, 30 seconds at a time, if need be.

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All of this.  I have very little clarity about it after to almost two years.  But couple things I’ve gleaned.  Problematic drinking is way different this solution-based drinking.  I could not see the difference for a decade.  And when your with your withdrawals are far worse than blackout drunk night; those are your checkpoints.  
 
Out of the blue my cousin’s husband called to check on me today. He’s like a big brother to me.  He’s been struggling with drinking and other health issues.  But I suppose I’ve just been apparently in an obvious rough patch lately to people.  But it reminded Me of upthread.  90% of the people you know can’t fucking wait to lecture you on what a weak asshole you are for drinking.  But there is 10% that will miraculously emerge when you need people the most to let you know you are flawed but you are not alone.  


Is that 90% a latino thing? Honest question.

I sponsor a catholic Latino (a few years back he got drunk, took the company truck out to score cocaine, ended up totalling the truck and getting a DUI - getting his company sued -and didn't get fired.) and he is very conscious of this cultural reaction. His first 2 years was me echoing “nobody gives a fuck if you don't drink, but they will if you go to prison or die in a ditch”

Like I’ve said, my dad showed up at AA in 1992 and realized his lawyer, banker, real estate partners, etc were all members and always joked that he wished he had arrived sooner.

I entered the software business 2 years ago on the counsel of a 20-year friendship - “you'd be good at this because you're sober and I know the way you think” as my only real qualifications. And its as if God granted me sobriety so I could try hard things. What a blessing.

@macanudo I haven't mentioned it, but you've been in my thoughts for years, I'm always pulling for you because you've been through the stuff that terrifies me.
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On 5/25/2024 at 9:59 AM, BearSchlong said:

 


Is that 90% a latino thing? Honest question.

I sponsor a catholic Latino (a few years back he got drunk, took the company truck out to score cocaine, ended up totalling the truck and getting a DUI - getting his company sued -and didn't get fired.) and he is very conscious of this cultural reaction. His first 2 years was me echoing “nobody gives a fuck if you don't drink, but they will if you go to prison or die in a ditch”

Like I’ve said, my dad showed up at AA in 1992 and realized his lawyer, banker, real estate partners, etc were all members and always joked that he wished he had arrived sooner.

I entered the software business 2 years ago on the counsel of a 20-year friendship - “you'd be good at this because you're sober and I know the way you think” as my only real qualifications. And its as if God granted me sobriety so I could try hard things. What a blessing.

@macanudo I haven't mentioned it, but you've been in my thoughts for years, I'm always pulling for you because you've been through the stuff that terrifies me.

 

My cousin and I are Hispanic.  Her husband is literally the most Nordic cat I know.  And I grew up around a lot of Swedes in Chicago.  His DNA kit came back and he's 99% Swedish.  So no, not a Latino thing.  

But I guess he could sense I was having a rough patch and he's had some himself.  His are more medical, mine more substance based. He's in his 60's and had some heart and knee surgeries in the last couple of years.  And then he started drinking again.  And he's been very supportive of me but it was kind of these 'de tante' where I didn't talk to him much about his shit and he didn't talk to me about my shit, but we both just hugged it out and tried to help one another in other ways.  It was just crazy to me that he called me up outta the blue late last week to talk about how we gotta keep out shit together for our daughters, etc.  I think he wants to tone down his consumption, especially given his health issues and age.  It's not my place to direct him how to go about it, but I care about him very much and want to help.  He's not my level of alcoholic, but he's in the ballpark.  

So I "started to quit" about 21 months ago when I started bugging y'all for advice.  I've had a few relapses, one of 'em was pretty rough.  But today I turn 48 and hopefully it will be my first full year with no alcohol.  

 

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I posted a few years ago about my cousin’s dad finally dying of cirrhosis and how she had a difficult childhood with both parents being raging alcoholic for a large part of her life ( her mom…my aunt has now been sober for 15 years )

Anyways, she wrote a book and I haven’t read it yet but I’ve heard good things about it and didn’t know if some of you might like it. She’s been through a lot and came out pretty good which is more than we can say for her sister.

If this is against the rules I apologize

bfcea7b27c83ce8c61d245e67ca9a04e.jpeg

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I wish everyone the best that is struggling with this.  I was going to share my story but I'm not ready and I haven't been able to stop anyway.

I believe there are many paths to sobriety.  I am an engineer (BSEE from UT long ago) and basically an atheist so some of the popular approaches don't resonate well with me.

The Naked Mind community and book of the same name really changed my perspective on alcohol and counters a lot of the positive messaging there is about alcohol:

https://thisnakedmind.com/ (no affiliation)

I'm hoping my next pause will be permanent.  I've loved this drinking town for decades but I need to find other ways to love it.

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I'll say a couple of things about the god thing - 

first off, I'm not trying to recruit people for AA and I honestly haven't gone to a meeting in a million years - I don't like the one near me (too churchy) and I have young children and there's nothing else convenient and I'd like to go but it's not a problem for me to not.

The reasons why (or at least my interpretation of the reasons why) The way that the whole god thing and higher power thing works for me is that 

  1. i am not the highest power in the universe
  2. i do not run the universe
  3. even my own life rests in whatever fate the universe has in store for me,
    1. and this is OK

Something I've seen in criticism of AA is that in order to do AA you have to be super negative about yourself. I don't think that's the case at all, and none of the things I said above are negative, are reflective of low self esteem, are me being down about myself. Honestly if you disagree with any of the above statements except for maybe 3.1 you're an egomaniac. Most alcoholics are to some extent, and most alcoholics have a very difficult time letting things go, relaxing about things in general, and this is part of what drives us to drink. Internalizing that i do not run this shit, that for the vast majority of things that irk or worry me I should just move past them because it's not my problem or I don't have power over it - that was huge. And accepting that I really have a limited range of power over my own life and that that, too, is OK (we all live we all die, we do what we can while we're here and we wind up leaving the same way) - that's freedom.

It's also not super negative to admit powerlessness over alcohol. If you're sitting in the room refusing to admit that, your ego is still trying to run shit. It's not rational. If you had any power over alcohol you'd have exercised it by now.

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

I'll say a couple of things about the god thing - 

first off, I'm not trying to recruit people for AA and I honestly haven't gone to a meeting in a million years - I don't like the one near me (too churchy) and I have young children and there's nothing else convenient and I'd like to go but it's not a problem for me to not.

The reasons why (or at least my interpretation of the reasons why) The way that the whole god thing and higher power thing works for me is that 

  1. i am not the highest power in the universe
  2. i do not run the universe
  3. even my own life rests in whatever fate the universe has in store for me,
    1. and this is OK

Something I've seen in criticism of AA is that in order to do AA you have to be super negative about yourself. I don't think that's the case at all, and none of the things I said above are negative, are reflective of low self esteem, are me being down about myself. Honestly if you disagree with any of the above statements except for maybe 3.1 you're an egomaniac. Most alcoholics are to some extent, and most alcoholics have a very difficult time letting things go, relaxing about things in general, and this is part of what drives us to drink. Internalizing that i do not run this shit, that for the vast majority of things that irk or worry me I should just move past them because it's not my problem or I don't have power over it - that was huge. And accepting that I really have a limited range of power over my own life and that that, too, is OK (we all live we all die, we do what we can while we're here and we wind up leaving the same way) - that's freedom.

It's also not super negative to admit powerlessness over alcohol. If you're sitting in the room refusing to admit that, your ego is still trying to run shit. It's not rational. If you had any power over alcohol you'd have exercised it by now.

Excellent statement of the issue, I think.  For a lot of us, this just slots back into whatever religious upbringing we might have had, and likely fallen away from, if the experience wasn't bad.  Others, of course, have had negative religious experiences and deliberately fell away, never to return.

The alky is at war with the universe and his or her self.  We gotta get right-sized and that's about all it is. #wDrts

Edited by TwiceHorn
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13 hours ago, brownboy said:

I wish everyone the best that is struggling with this.  I was going to share my story but I'm not ready and I haven't been able to stop anyway.

I believe there are many paths to sobriety.  I am an engineer (BSEE from UT long ago) and basically an atheist so some of the popular approaches don't resonate well with me.

The Naked Mind community and book of the same name really changed my perspective on alcohol and counters a lot of the positive messaging there is about alcohol:

https://thisnakedmind.com/ (no affiliation)

I'm hoping my next pause will be permanent.  I've loved this drinking town for decades but I need to find other ways to love it.

If you haven't already, read through the posts on this thread.  I suspect you'll find you relate to many of the others in this thread.  

Feel free to share your story, too.  There have been many stories shared from those that were still drinking - some probably still do, but many eventually quit.

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You have to have your cars inspected annually to pay a tax and get a sticker on your plate here in NC. I guess it’s not that different than Texas although the tax is more and I feel like it wasn’t annual in Texas. Anyways, today is the day. I pulled up to the inspection station - like a jiffy lube with two bays and cars line up. I got there and, out of two even lines, I picked the line that looked like the first car was almost done. A few minutes later another car arrived and pulled up next to me. And the entire time I’m waiting there’s a little gremlin in my head that is racing the other car and is very concerned about the fairness of me having arrived first and my car should get to the front of the line first. This is why I need a whole framework for letting go of things and training my mind to float with peace in the chaos of the universe.

 

how are y’all doing today?

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5 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

You have to have your cars inspected annually to pay a tax and get a sticker on your plate here in NC. I guess it’s not that different than Texas although the tax is more and I feel like it wasn’t annual in Texas. Anyways, today is the day. I pulled up to the inspection station - like a jiffy lube with two bays and cars line up. I got there and, out of two even lines, I picked the line that looked like the first car was almost done. A few minutes later another car arrived and pulled up next to me. And the entire time I’m waiting there’s a little gremlin in my head that is racing the other car and is very concerned about the fairness of me having arrived first and my car should get to the front of the line first. This is why I need a whole framework for letting go of things and training my mind to float with peace in the chaos of the universe.

 

how are y’all doing today?

Yep!  And perfectly normal to consider whether you should burn the place to the ground if the other car gets finished first, right?

Self, self, self, self, self - Oh wait....there's another way to think.  I take a breath, hear a different voice and consider that I don't know whether its good or bad if I get done first, or if it even matters to begin with.  I'm a cog in a wheel on a small rock hurtling through space.  A spec on a spec in the big picture.  Things are as they should be and fundamentally all is OK.

Practice, practice, practice - spin off, come back to center, spin off, come back to center.

Grateful I found a way to make "It" stop.

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On 5/27/2024 at 7:51 PM, brownboy said:

I wish everyone the best that is struggling with this.  I was going to share my story but I'm not ready and I haven't been able to stop anyway.

I believe there are many paths to sobriety.  I am an engineer (BSEE from UT long ago) and basically an atheist so some of the popular approaches don't resonate well with me.

The Naked Mind community and book of the same name really changed my perspective on alcohol and counters a lot of the positive messaging there is about alcohol:

https://thisnakedmind.com/ (no affiliation)

I'm hoping my next pause will be permanent.  I've loved this drinking town for decades but I need to find other ways to love it.

Whatever path works for you is the right path.  

I'll share this which has been my experience - not to try and convince you of anything, but because what you shared sounds eerily familiar with how I felt.  I'd tried everything I could think of to avoid AA and for the same reasons.

One of the first things I was told when I'd spouted off a few "yeah, but" comments was to really consider the words of a philosopher who said - There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

I got really hung up for a while on the god deal, which turns out was more of a hang-up with organized religion and its teachings.  I was an agnostic who thought he was an atheist.  My turning point was being told I didn't have to believe shit.  All I had to do was have a willingness to believe if it ever came to that, and just acknowledge I didn't have all the answers and am not running the universe.

I'm analytic - not an engineer but a show me kind of thinker. What I experienced was that the step process is actually almost scientific in nature.  It doesn't matter what I think will happen or even want to happen, but if I do x, y, and z, I'll get a specific result - often in spite of myself. 

Like baking a cake or a chemical reaction.......  If I follow the directions, the result is predictable and consistent regardless of how I feel, what I want, or think will happen.

Hell, I know two belligerent sons of bitches who actually tried to prove that this stuff won't really work by doing it out of spite and they too got the predictable result instead of what they wanted....which was to show everyone it was a bullshit fairy tale.

Anyway, best of luck and keep chiming in here please.  It's always encouraged and welcome!!!!!  It's how we all learn and evolve.

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3 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

Whatever path works for you is the right path.  

I'll share this which has been my experience - not to try and convince you of anything, but because what you shared sounds eerily familiar with how I felt.  I'd tried everything I could think of to avoid AA and for the same reasons.

One of the first things I was told when I'd spouted off a few "yeah, but" comments was to really consider the words of a philosopher who said - There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

I got really hung up for a while on the god deal, which turns out was more of a hang-up with organized religion and its teachings.  I was an agnostic who thought he was an atheist.  My turning point was being told I didn't have to believe shit.  All I had to do was have a willingness to believe if it ever came to that, and just acknowledge I didn't have all the answers and am not running the universe.

I'm analytic - not an engineer but a show me kind of thinker. What I experienced was that the step process is actually almost scientific in nature.  It doesn't matter what I think will happen or even want to happen, but if I do x, y, and z, I'll get a specific result - often in spite of myself. 

Like baking a cake or a chemical reaction.......  If I follow the directions, the result is predictable and consistent regardless of how I feel, what I want, or think will happen.

Hell, I know two belligerent sons of bitches who actually tried to prove that this stuff won't really work by doing it out of spite and they too got the predictable result instead of what they wanted....which was to show everyone it was a bullshit fairy tale.

Anyway, best of luck and keep chiming in here please.  It's always encouraged and welcome!!!!!  It's how we all learn and evolve.

Thank for sharing this perspective!  I certain don't want to ever think I have all the answers much less am running the universe!

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On 5/5/2024 at 9:10 AM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Pretty sure that this is physically impossible, but is there any chance that a medical condition could cause one's BAC to be elevated to extreme levels without consuming alcohol? I was a BLS responder on a corporate response team for many years and witnessed Px going through diabetic ketoacidosis, but that wasn't a sustainable state (they either improved w/ treatment or continued to plummet w/ their glucose levels).

BIL  has had several bizarre experiences the past 3-4 months, including 2 hospital stays. His latest was yesterday when his wife found him stumbling into walls and speaking gibberish. She took him to the ER where they initially focused on his kidney values (he has some family history/underlying issues). His BAC was .24 after his second blood draw. His glucose was also elevated. His wife thinks he's developed type 2 diabetes (runs in his family; his younger brother died due to complications of it plus kidney disease). He's never been shy about his love of beer and bourbon, but he claims he hadn't had anything to drink on Saturday prior to his incident & hospital trip. That's almost certainly not true, but even if he did drink something is it possible his body would amplify the effects to the point that his BAC would read 3X the legal limit?

 

Colin Hay's character on The Resident had some kind of disease that turned sugar into alcohol.  No idea if it was a real problem, but most of the things in that show seemed in line.

Used to date a girl whose body processed grains differently and bread made her appear drunk.  No idea if her BAC actually went up though.  

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11 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

True for me. I'm even a brk.b shareholder now.

ae4acf3812c18324b2cffa4b88a81386.jpg

Likewise, and when I think about what could have been had I parked all of that cash in brk.a, well, I never wanted to be a gazillionaire anyway.

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One of the more important aspects of any plan of recovery or probably even good mental health is to make yourself of service to others.  Of course, ideally, that's live and in-person, but I think every little bit helps.

I think that's what we're trying to do here and it's gratifying when it seems to help people.

 

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On 5/5/2024 at 8:10 AM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Pretty sure that this is physically impossible, but is there any chance that a medical condition could cause one's BAC to be elevated to extreme levels without consuming alcohol? I was a BLS responder on a corporate response team for many years and witnessed Px going through diabetic ketoacidosis, but that wasn't a sustainable state (they either improved w/ treatment or continued to plummet w/ their glucose levels).

BIL  has had several bizarre experiences the past 3-4 months, including 2 hospital stays. His latest was yesterday when his wife found him stumbling into walls and speaking gibberish. She took him to the ER where they initially focused on his kidney values (he has some family history/underlying issues). His BAC was .24 after his second blood draw. His glucose was also elevated. His wife thinks he's developed type 2 diabetes (runs in his family; his younger brother died due to complications of it plus kidney disease). He's never been shy about his love of beer and bourbon, but he claims he hadn't had anything to drink on Saturday prior to his incident & hospital trip. That's almost certainly not true, but even if he did drink something is it possible his body would amplify the effects to the point that his BAC would read 3X the legal limit?

 

Very rare Auto-Brewery Syndrome caused by several risk factors, antibiotics, and yeast fungi

Quote

Her breath reeked of alcohol. She was dizzy, disoriented and weak, so much so that one day she passed out and hit her head on a kitchen counter while making lunch for her school-age children.

Yet not a drop of liquor had passed her lips, a fact that the 50-year-old Toronto woman and her husband told doctors for two years before someone actually believed her.

Spoiler


“I know of over 300 people diagnosed with auto-brewery syndrome and we have over 800 patients and caregivers in our private Facebook support group,” said Cordell, who was not involved in the new case.

“Part of the mystery of this syndrome is how these people can have these extremely high levels and still be walking around and talking.”

...

Auto-brewery syndrome, also known as gut fermentation syndrome, is an extremely rare condition in which bacteria and fungus in the gastrointestinal tract turn the carbohydrates in everyday food into ethanol. The first known case occurred in 1946 in Africa, when a 5-year-old boy’s stomach ruptured for no known reason. An autopsy found his abdomen filled with a “frothy” fluid smelling of alcohol.

...

Auto brewery syndrome occurs when certain species of bacteria and fungi overpopulate a person’s gut microbiome, basically turning the gastrointestinal tract into a still apparatus.

Scientists believe the process takes place in the small bowel and is vastly different from the normal gut fermentation in the large bowel that gives our bodies energy.

While a number of pathogens can contribute, most cases are due to an overgrowth of two species of fungi: Saccharomyces and Candida. Candida lives on the body and in the mouth, digestive tract and vagina, often taking over when more beneficial bacteria are killed off by a round or two of antibiotics.

...

There are risk factors for auto-brewery syndrome. Diabetes and liver disease can play a role as can gastrointestinal diseases such as inflammatory bowel disease and short gut syndrome, in which the small intestine is damaged or shortened, Zewude said. There may even be a genetic predisposition connected to how well a person metabolizes alcohol.

“But all of these things have to collide at the perfect time,” she said. “It requires multiple risk factors interacting and creating a metabolic storm for this syndrome to emerge in an individual.”

...

In addition to killing off the yeast, patients are expected to follow an extremely restricted low-carb diet. “No carbs would be best, but it’s almost impossible to do that,” Zewude said. Probiotics to build back beneficial bacteria can also help, she said.

...

 

 

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We've sent the DIL the links to these reports on auto-brewery syndrome. The BIL is scheduled for his next checkup in a couple weeks & this should be brought to the Dr's attention.

Saw him a couple weeks ago & he was reasonably ok for the 2 hours we were with him. I saw him drink one beer, his mood was mostly in check (it was an emotional event so he gets the benefit of the doubt). When he started to drift towards concerning behavior he voluntarily excused himself & went to his room to nap in a quiet environment. Reports since then have been more of the same: good days with occasional episodes of belligerent behavior.

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My last beer was the day of the Eclipse. My decision, no behavior issues, just decided I have had enough and I could see it encroaching into my job and life. My social life was go to the bar, grill out with friends, etc. Went from a few beers at the river to nothing wrong with putting down a 12 pack on a Tuesday followed up by noon going to the river with another case. . I am usually done work by noon and then have to pick back up about 9PM. Got to where I was feeling quite buzzed and was not writing or thinking like I needed to be. Buddy drinks. That is what he does for fun. He is a teacher and with summer approaching I knew the life style we would get into. Wife is deployed so I do seek out social activity. The issue where I live is that means going to bars

So I stopped. Wife felt bad having a glass of wine at dinner. I told her I stopped. You don't need to. She is not a big drinker and a positive aspect of my life.

I feel better, my hobbies are back, but this thread taught me it was OK. You don't need to be one of the guys and down three shots of Jack to end the evening.

Thanks to all.

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Good to hear, man.  To berate the point as I am wont to do.  My drinking was way too frequent but it was when I went into withdrawals that really woke me up to the need to stop.  Like you, I could really enjoy and holy my liquor.  I enjoyed good stuff and good times.  Got a little too tipsy a few times but was largely functioning, not violent, not loud, and not blackout.  But about 21+ months ago, the lack of it really started to hit me and it wasn't pretty.  

My wife and kids are leaving for a trip with her family on Friday for about a week.  I have to admit, I am worried again.  My sponsor is out of town as well.  I've got a buncha folks in my network to rely on.  But my main concern is I could have one night of drinks and be fine.  But it'd be hell to pay for 72 hours after that and our zoom calls would reflect that.  Anybody in Austin wanna meet up next week for coffee, please lemme know.  I could use an expanded network as folks are in and out town this time of year.  

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57 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

My last beer was the day of the Eclipse. My decision, no behavior issues, just decided I have had enough and I could see it encroaching into my job and life. My social life was go to the bar, grill out with friends, etc. Went from a few beers at the river to nothing wrong with putting down a 12 pack on a Tuesday followed up by noon going to the river with another case. . I am usually done work by noon and then have to pick back up about 9PM. Got to where I was feeling quite buzzed and was not writing or thinking like I needed to be. Buddy drinks. That is what he does for fun. He is a teacher and with summer approaching I knew the life style we would get into. Wife is deployed so I do seek out social activity. The issue where I live is that means going to bars

So I stopped. Wife felt bad having a glass of wine at dinner. I told her I stopped. You don't need to. She is not a big drinker and a positive aspect of my life.

I feel better, my hobbies are back, but this thread taught me it was OK. You don't need to be one of the guys and down three shots of Jack to end the evening.

Thanks to all.

So....does this mean that you and me and the boy AREN'T meeting up at the Posse for beers when he's in town in July?  :) 

49 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Good to hear, man.  To berate the point as I am wont to do.  My drinking was way too frequent but it was when I went into withdrawals that really woke me up to the need to stop.  Like you, I could really enjoy and holy my liquor.  I enjoyed good stuff and good times.  Got a little too tipsy a few times but was largely functioning, not violent, not loud, and not blackout.  But about 21+ months ago, the lack of it really started to hit me and it wasn't pretty.  

My wife and kids are leaving for a trip with her family on Friday for about a week.  I have to admit, I am worried again.  My sponsor is out of town as well.  I've got a buncha folks in my network to rely on.  But my main concern is I could have one night of drinks and be fine.  But it'd be hell to pay for 72 hours after that and our zoom calls would reflect that.  Anybody in Austin wanna meet up next week for coffee, please lemme know.  I could use an expanded network as folks are in and out town this time of year.  

I'm around next Monday and Tuesday.  You and I are due for another Waffle House summit or whatnot.

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4 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

So....does this mean that you and me and the boy AREN'T meeting up at the Posse for beers when he's in town in July?  :) 

I'm around next Monday and Tuesday.  You and I are due for another Waffle House summit or whatnot.

Yeah, we will meet up for sure! I will still get the Turkey Sheriff and tell UT war stories from my days at Simkins (Don't know what it is called now).

 

56 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Good to hear, man.  To berate the point as I am wont to do.  My drinking was way too frequent but it was when I went into withdrawals that really woke me up to the need to stop.  Like you, I could really enjoy and holy my liquor.  I enjoyed good stuff and good times.  Got a little too tipsy a few times but was largely functioning, not violent, not loud, and not blackout.  But about 21+ months ago, the lack of it really started to hit me and it wasn't pretty.  

My wife and kids are leaving for a trip with her family on Friday for about a week.  I have to admit, I am worried again.  My sponsor is out of town as well.  I've got a buncha folks in my network to rely on.  But my main concern is I could have one night of drinks and be fine.  But it'd be hell to pay for 72 hours after that and our zoom calls would reflect that.  Anybody in Austin wanna meet up next week for coffee, please lemme know.  I could use an expanded network as folks are in and out town this time of year.  

Come on down to San Marcos. Go fishing and check out Coeds!

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Yeah, I've got a few fishing excursions planned for next week.  I can't go swimming which is my usual cathartic release since my little one brought home this Impetigo thing home a couple weeks ago and I still have scabs (probably doesn't help my liver is still just starting to heal).  Been doing more walking and biking (I can't run for shit in this heat).  

It was just that about two years ago at this time, we went on a family trip to Colorado.  My wife then went on and took the girls to her family's ranch in NW Kansas.  And I went home for work via airplane.  And I went pretty excessive.  And then the withdrawals of that were my big wakeup call.  That's when y'all got stuck with me coming back to the board after I'd been gone away for awhile.  I realize history doesn't have to repeat itself, it just feels antsy.  But I have lots to do and can go to more meetings since I won't have to explain to anybody why I'm heading out of the house for no reason on some evenings.  

Obviously, it doesn't have to do with who is around and who isn't.  It's about us and our shit and working to handle it.  Just a Lobo mid-day ramble.  I've also got our annual first-generation pre-college Academy at UT which will keep me focused on service.  And thankfully, they don't serve alcohol at 17 year old functions.  Not that open bars are my problem, it's my fucking head.  

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16 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

And thankfully, they don't serve alcohol at 17 year old functions.  Not that open bars are my problem, it's my fucking head.  

So long as fucking 17 yr olds isn't your problem.....

 

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2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I'm not Matt Gaetz.  I'm an alcoholic looking to spend my time outta my head for a week because I usually distract myself with my lovely family.  

Sickie.  

I know you're not Matt Gaetz.   That's why I didn't say "fucking 14 yr olds."

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