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Saying goodbye to the family dog


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Got the bad news on our girl this morning and I'm numb.  Looking for any advice on how to handle it with my kids- girl is almost 15, the boy is ten.  Pup is 13, so she's been here for their whole lives.  We got a new puppy a year and a half ago.   Not sure how much that's going to help.

Anyway I'm a fucking mess.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

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They are old enough. Lay it out for them. She needs to be put down because she's suffering. It wouldn't be fair to her otherwise. She had a good life. We'll always love her, yadda yadda yadda.

Cry with them, let them get it out. Like dogs, kids are tough, they can handle it. They'll get over it.

"but why do dogs have to die?" "Because if dogs lived forever, there would never be puppies."

 

In a few weeks or months, when everybody is ready, get another dog.

 

My daughter was 7 three years ago when we put down our dog. She grew up chewing on his ears. She handled his death well. She has his picture as a puppy on her nightstand. We gave that to her a couple of days after we buried him. 6 months later we had a new puppy. She still talks about Willie, and claims she misses him. But we can't imagine life without 3 yr old Jack.

She also talks about taking our other dog Bon Bon with her when she moves out (in 8 years. yeah, she's already ready for her own apartment). no need to tell her yet that Bon Bon probably won't be around in 8 years.

 

Be strong for your family.

 

edit to add: Yes, we took the daughter to the vet on the day they put her down. I was a little leery,  but she insisted she wanted to be there. With hindsight, it was the right thing to do, imo.

 

 

Edited by High Plains Drifter
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Dogs give us everything they have. For the dogs and the children, I say let them know that they are helping the dog stop being in pain, and let them say goodbye to each other. I strongly recommend a little pick and shovel work, make the pup a real grave. That's better than the dog just disappears.

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33 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Dogs give us everything they have. For the dogs and the children, I say let them know that they are helping the dog stop being in pain, and let them say goodbye to each other. I strongly recommend a little pick and shovel work, make the pup a real grave. That's better than the dog just disappears.

 

I think its also better for the other dog. Dogs understand death, they understand that the other dog has died, and they deal with it. But I suspect when the other dog just gets in the car and never comes back, they probably don't know how to deal with that. Maybe not, I don't know.

In our case, we didn't have the in home euthanasia option, but we did bring the deceased dog home from the vet, let the other dog sniff him for a while, then buried him way back in the back yard near the fence line (we have a few acres). We now have two graves back there, piled with rocks, with hand painted wooden"head stones".

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Whether it is at the vet's office or at home, let them be there, for their sake and the dog's. I would also let the new pup be present. My experience is the other dog has a better understanding of why his or hers buddy is suddenly gone. 

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Sorry for you my friend.  I’ve done it before, and will be doing it again in the not too distant future.  Dogs are wonderful friends, maybe the best friends, but their short lifespan allows your kids learn a little bit about dying before they have to say goodbye to a human that they love.  A believe that’s a feature, not a bug, of dogs.  They teach you to deal with loss before you deal with the really big losses.  That’s the last gift they will give to your kids.

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This thread is timely and I’m getting kind of depressed reading it.   We found lump on my 11 year old Lab.   It’s about the size of golf ball.... Hoping it’s cyst or something, but fearing the worse.  She’s not in any discomfort when we press on it, but I read too many accounts about how something like this begins a decline.     If she’s destined to take that road, I wish I’d wake up one morning and she would just stay asleep.  I’ve taken one family pet to the be put down. It was hard, but I wasn’t nearly as attached to that dog as I’ve been to this one.   Damn thinking about this really sucks. 

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8 hours ago, threesheets said:

Got the bad news on our girl this morning and I'm numb.  Looking for any advice on how to handle it with my kids- girl is almost 15, the boy is ten.  Pup is 13, so she's been here for their whole lives.  We got a new puppy a year and a half ago.   Not sure how much that's going to help.

Anyway I'm a fucking mess.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

Kids are resilient.   Had back to back horrific luck with two wonderful dogs that both had to be put down under the age of 4.  (Fuck cancer).

Listen, it sucks.  Explain to the kids.  Let them get used to it.  Let them say their goodbyes.  When the time is right, take him to the vet.  By yourself.  Pet him, hug him and cry.  Dont put your kids through that shit.  Dont get ashes.  

Find a new wonderful puppy to love.  Your kids will get over it before you probably will. 

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I remember when we had to put our dog down when I was 14. I cried like a four-year-old all the way to and from the vet. And then my Marine Colonel dad came home after work and brought a friend over. The Colonel came into my room, big hulking guy dressed in his utilities, closed the door, gave me a big hug and started bawling. I’d never seen anything like that before. He then wiped away all evidence of crying, and went out to drink beer with his friend.

No advice except to cry with your kids and feel shitty for a while. Sorry, man.

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I'm so sorry.  Just went through this last year with a dog the same age and kids close to the same age.  All the above advice is correct.  Be straight with the kids, take a day off and give your pup the best day ever.  If you can do it at home, do it at home.  It sucks, but you are doing the kindest thing you can do for you for them. 

Edited by dcbc
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I have very little advice to offer here because your dog was unique to you and your family. I am sure you are taking care of everything even though you and your family are really hurting. Process your grief in the best way you feel that you can and think of all the wonderful memories you have to hold onto.

I remember having to bury my father’s dog a little over two years after my dad had passed. My parents got her after a doctor messed up a routine procedure and left my father 100 percent blind for the last nine and a half years of his life. That dog never left his side. She would sit with him all day long. When I had to pick her up off my mom’s bed after she passed away during the night from a very brief illness I lost it. I had to take her into the woods where my family buries almost all of the dogs we had over the years. My mom gave me my dad’s favorite t-shirt to wrap her in with some bedding as well. I will never forget how hot it was that morning and how hard it was to say goodbye. 

Edited by UpperWestside
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I had a premonition Friday when I first read this thread. Our remaining little dog was obviously troubled and shaking, heart beating fast, off her chow, wobbling when she walked. We fed her from out of our hands, salmon, chicken, liver. She was on the upswing as of last night, wasn't half as troubled acting. Followed me around like she always does. I was hoping she'd sleep through the night and planned to take her to the vet this morning.

Woke up and she was gone. In her usual sleeping spot, no signs of distress, just her little heart had given out.

So now I followed my own advice, and she's under the tree next to her buddy who passed on last year. Wrapped up in her blanket, dressed in a vest she loved, other vests and rawhide chips, pig hooves, and antler chew toy all laid out around her like a Viking queen. She'd grab that antler and run outside like a narwhal.

Goodbye Nana Doggarelli, aka Baby Baby White White. Forever next to your friend Ponchi Brown. What good dogs.

 

PonchiAndNana.jpg

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