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Longboard Horn

Shit you have heard in a bar

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Just now:

Quote

This is why you do what I did and BEFRIEND an attorney, an accountant, a realtor, and a private investigator. That way you can get into or out of almost any situation

 

Edited by Walden Ponderer

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Just now, drunk chick to some guy:

”I sucked your dick! Why won’t you share your Netflix account with me?!”

Flip side... my ex once told me “you eat my pussy, idgaf if you double dip.” We were at trudys

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3 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Just now, drunk chick to some guy:

”I sucked your dick! Why won’t you share your Netflix account with me?!”

That seems reasonable. 

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Just now, drunk chick to some guy:
”I sucked your dick! Why won’t you share your Netflix account with me?!”


Did you offer up your Netflix account?

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12 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Flip side... my ex once told me “you eat my pussy, idgaf if you double dip.” We were at trudys

I don’t think the double dipping she was referring to had anything to do with chips and salsa

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"any man who has ever driven a car for any distance has used a piss jug"...stocky older black male at nomad bar, 2012?

Edited by Wyatt Mann

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Finally got one to contribute from lunch at a restaurant (non strip club nor even breastaurant for that matter)...

“I didn’t know what to give up for lent one year so I decided i wouldn’t flash my tits. It was high school, before I got implants, there’s no way I’d give that up now”

 

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On 11/14/2019 at 4:39 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Just now:

 

This isn't shit you heard in a bar.

It's sage advice that all men should know.

 

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On 1/21/2020 at 12:00 AM, bluto said:

Finally got one to contribute from lunch at a restaurant (non strip club nor even breastaurant for that matter)...

“I didn’t know what to give up for lent one year so I decided i wouldn’t flash my tits. It was high school, before I got implants, there’s no way I’d give that up now”

 

I'm gonna assume your next comment  was "prove it." If not, I am disappoint. 

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Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some of pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

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Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some of pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

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Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some of pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

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Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some of pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

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Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Baboso, his side piece and I....

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Baboso, his side piece and I....

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When the site is sucking like this, do not hit submit more than once. Your initial post will eventually go through. 

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16 minutes ago, ss13 said:

When the site is sucking like this, do not hit submit more than once. Your initial post will eventually go through. 

It's pretty sad.

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On 1/22/2020 at 2:45 PM, hullabelew said:

Baboso, his side piece and I were at a daytime drinking spot of ours. Bartender is telling us about some of pissed off owner of a nail salon/waxing place. She said, "I wouldn't let that bitch give me a wax job. She might rip my clit off. Don't be messing with my little bean down there.".

Cool story bro! Tell it again! Oh wait...

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