The sketchiest/dumpiest bar you've ever been to.

[Parliament 14086]

For me it was Critters Lounge in Lincoln, NE.  We were down there for a football game and our hotel shared a parking lot.  Full of people who had LONG given up on achieving anything in life, even consistent happiness.  So they all went there straight from their job at the tire place, mobile home dealership or wherever.  And drank Keystone Light until close and then drove their 1998 Chevy Malibu back to the double wide.

That particular night they had a $5 "buffet."  A sheet of plastic was tossed over the pool table, and a table cloth over that.  The cuisine consisted of salad from a bag, hotdogs from a crock pot and chili.  I think it was supposed to be chili.  Kinda tasted like it?  None of the booze hags came over and rubbed my leg (maybe because of my Ohio State jersey?) but they stared at me all night.  Scary.

[chesthair 231]

Jaguars...Longview Tx/close thread

[housious 468]

Long story, but somehow my wife and I ended up in a bar in the middle of nowhere in Arkansas. No idea what it was called. We walked in, and I could see the immediate disgust on her face by just being there. I order a cold Bud Light in a can for $1. My wife asks for a water, and the bartender laughs in her face and proceeds to explain that drinking the tap water there might kill you. 

There were some rednecks in the corner punching a punching bag. 

I drank a few more cold Bud Lights and we left. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by housious

[babysdaddy 2710]

Some bar in boys town in Nuevo Laredo.  Was the designated driver and had to watch a donkey get raped by a fat chick.  been over 20+ years and I can still see it pretty clearly.

[Chad Fuck 17455]

I was in a bar in Gun Barrel City, Texas once that had chicken wire in front of the stage and a sign that read:  "No spitting, No loud cussing, no nudity."

 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8795]

Thirstys in Devils Lake ND

 

I was with a group of about 12 when I was 19 and the guy only ID'd one of us...who was obviously over 21.

 

The blackjack dealer was fumbling cards onto the floor so he would pick it up and just deal it as if nothing happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Lobo]

Jalisco Ice House in West San Antonio.  Early 90's.  I'm 15 years old, piss drunk on tepid Coors Light.  I'm told to flip the picnic table over and get behind it to buy time enough to race back into the store until police arrive as a drive-by is about to happen.  When being 6 years under age is the least of your fears, given the clientele that told me to do this, when the police arrive---that's saying something.  

Most in fear for my life I've ever been though was in a watering hole in Columbus, Ohio.  I've been to every shithole dive in South Chicago, South America, and South Louisiana and I've been in a few brawls with a few scars.  But my buddy and I were pretty sure we were about to be hospitalized by those fucking degenerates.  We were resigned to severe injury, we just wanted to make it home alive to our families

[Chad Fuck 17455]

Once on Christmas break from UT a mixed group of us went to Jet Set in Dallas.  We had to sign a waiver before we could even pay to get in.  That set the girls on edge.  Made it inside, and it was clear that it was a swinger and/or find yourself a worn hard prostitute joint.   We did not stay long.

 

[threesheets 1651]

A few years out of college me and a couple of buddies went to a show at Starplex and were going pretty hard on the nose candy.  After the show ended, we decided (for whatever fucking reason) we wanted to go to the diviest bar we could find.  One of us remembered a tejano bar that was next door to the beer store we bought from all the time as minors.  On Lamar, like a mile east of 45 (like why not, we're close by right?).  I grew up in south Dallas and was plenty comfortable buying beer/chatting up folks on Lamar, but to decide to hang out at a bar over there on a weeknight for no good reason was stupid at best.

We drive over there and out front there's a fat mexican dude in a fake sheriff uniform that looked like it was bought at the Salvation Army (by way of Party City).  Dude frisks us head to toe and we still think it's a good idea to go in.  We walk in and I swear the music stopped.  Everyone cranes their necks, gives us a nice long mad-dogging, then the music starts back up (no, it never stopped).  

Anyway, aside from having beers slammed down in front of us (unopened) by hot mexican chicks that had no interest in serving dumb ass gringos, nothing too eventful happened.  One of my buddies even ended up line dancing with a bunch of the chicks that were there (which brought a lot more mad dogging from the guys in the house).

 

/csb.  this is the place (I'm almost positive):

[CycleTex87 2952]

Cheers Bar, Port Harcourt, Nigeria.  Met a nice friendly girl there named Grace.  You know, Amazing Grace.

[threesheets 1651]

19 minutes ago, housious said:

There were some rednecks in the corner punching a punching bag. 

Fucking lost it at this.

18 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

Some bar in boys town in Nuevo Laredo.  Was the designated driver and had to watch a donkey get raped by a fat chick.  been over 20+ years and I can still see it pretty clearly.

Boystown was the first place that came to mind, but the bars I went to there were actually not all that dumpy. Sketchy for sure (looking at you Dallas Cowboys), but halfway decent places.  But that was early-mid 90s.

[Trey3216 15321]

87 Ice Box in Fredericksburg, TX on Washington Ave.   Absolute lovely little dump.   

 

Every bar in Malone, TX

most every bar in Mingus, TX 

 

Bleacher’s Sports Bar in Garland/Richardson    Used to go there when I was 18 after our softball games when I was playing on my uncle’s team    

 

[chesthair 231]

oh, posting pics?

 

[TwiceHorn 31085]

18 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

Once on Christmas break from UT a mixed group of us went to Jet Set in Dallas.  We had to sign a waiver before we could even pay to get in.  That set the girls on edge.  Made it inside, and it was clear that it was a swinger and/or find yourself a worn hard prostitute joint.   We did not stay long.

 

Bahaha.  Had seen that place for years, never knew what it was. DId eventually discover its "mission."   What was the waiver?

[Rougarou 594]

Seconded Boystown.

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3867]

Galveston, walked into a bar off Harborside between UTMB and the Strand. Fortunately I was with someone who had lived in Hawaii and immediately indentified it as a buy me drinkie place. We ordered beers drank half and quickly left. Sailors, Asian hookers, and us two WASP gringos. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by ShaggyBevo RIP

[Chad Fuck 17455]

4 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Bahaha.  Had seen that place for years, never knew what it was. DId eventually discover its "mission."   What was the waiver?

It was something along the lines of "this is not a sexually oriented business, you're just here to drink and dance and you'll get thrown out if we see your cock out."  That may not have been the exact wording, but that's how I took it.  I saw no cocks out, but I wasn't crawling around on the floor looking either.  Plenty of obvious groping going on out on the dance floor.  

 

[llanoflash 151]

17 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

87 Ice Box in Fredericksburg, TX on Washington Ave.   Absolute lovely little dump.   

 

Every bar in Malone, TX

most every bar in Mingus, TX 

 

Bleacher’s Sports Bar in Garland/Richardson    Used to go there when I was 18 after our softball games when I was playing on my uncle’s team    

 

Learned how to play moon at the 87 ice box. Lessons there are not cheap

[Loco 3752]

Ended up in an illegal bar in Bimini, no sign, no lights out front, just refered to us by a local bar tender...  all the regular bars had closed up and we were still thirsty.  Walked/stumbled in the front door and we were the only Gringos... everything stopped.  I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life.  That lasted 30 seconds and my degenerate buddy walks up to the bar and buys a round for our group.  Everything just went back to "normal".   We couldn't even find the place the next day ON BIMINI!   Just glad I have my kindeys.

 

RIP Compleat Angler (not that place)

 

[Hpara759 1777]

Crystal Pistol in Amarillo on the Blvd. found this recent story about. It looked the same back in the late 70's (different paint) as it did in the news story.........

https://abc7amarillo.com/news/local/former-crystal-pistol-building-condmned-by-the-city

 

I remember a stripper named Montana.........

 

Edited July 26, 2019 by Hpara759

[RPM 26167]

Westside Bar at Possum Kingdom. Went there a few times when I lived in Graham. Every time I was there a total bar fight (just like in the movies) would break out at some point. Saw one guy nearly get his head kicked in after he'd already been beaten unconscious. Those cedar hackers were an unruly bunch.

[crash_davis 23076]

early 90s, way off of bourbon street strip club.  one dancer was missing her arm at the elbow.  another dancer was dancing with arm in a sling.  i guess rent was due.  

[Wyatt Mann 17]

I don't think I have ever been to Critters in Lincoln. Ive been to a few cool trashy bars in Lincoln.

Whiskey River in Baltimore stands out as being trashy. The place smelled like piss.

In San Antonio, there is(was?) a place called Bikini's at 5010 Rittiman Rd. Its unrelated to the Austin locations. Seriously dirty, seriously scary. Bad neighborhood. Had one beer and left. THought a drive by or a raid was gonna happen at any second. Yeah, this place was worse than any trashy bar Ive been to in Baltimore. The facebook, yelp pages are NOT for this location. The only pic of it I can find is on google maps.

The trashiest worst bar in Austin? I've drunkenly wandered into that Mexican bar at Elmont and Pleasant Valley. I think its something else now. I used to frequent Rack Daddy's on Riverside until it closed. Lots of drugs, fights and fucking at that place.

 

 

 

 

 

[El Diablo 4232]

37 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Galveston, walked into a bar off Harborside between UTMB and the Strand. Fortunately I was with someone who had lived in Hawaii and immediately indentified it as a buy me drinkie place. We ordered beers drank half and quickly left. Sailors, Asian hookers, and us two WASP gringos. 

I used to hit those places up when I'd get off work at Todd's Shipyard. Little pitchers of sake, cold beer and Asian wimmen. Nice place compared to some of the doors I've darkened.

[Trey3216 15321]

Place wasn’t trashy, per se, but went to this place ManKind Sports Bar in some strip center in Pasadena.  Some dude in there who said his name was ‘Get ‘Er Done’.    

 

Dude had some of the funniest sayings ever :

 

”My daddy taught me 2 words: Re, spect” 

“I’m gonna play a little bit a Cunnnnnnnntrah Music.  Y’all ever heard a guy name Travis Trittt!!??”    {narrator} Get ‘Er Done plays a Travis Tritt song no one has ever heard, then plays some bull-ass-shit like Honkey Tonk Padonkadonk (sp? Wgaf)  and many offerings by Luke Bryan {narrator} 

 

dude almost seemed like he was the ghost of Hank Williams bastard red-headed step dog.  The owner came over to us 3 different times to buy us a round and apologize for Get ‘Er Done’s antics.   Said he ran off a bunch of business in the past.    Decent food, cold beer, but a regarded owner allowing a regarded patron to keep coming around.  Bet it was his brother in law  

[Longboard Horn 40006]

Racks in Commerce, TX. Walked in, saw bullet holes in the wall, walked right out

[Born to Run 6420]

Boystown and Matamoros easily. Runner up goes to some shitty stripclub off Bourbon- first "dancer" slid down the pole and hit her head. Second "lady" up started by degreasing the pole. Shady characters moving in. People shooting up. I GTFO quickly.

 

The Tavern in Hudson Bend is surprisingly shitty. Depressing lake trash hogging 3-4 teeth each.

 

 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

[miguelito 11169]

One time I had to dance my way out of trouble in a shithole.

[JimmyHoffa 1188]

Don't know the name but a bar in Homestead, FL.

College teammates and I went to celebrate a teammates 21st birthday-

Metal detectors to get in the door and two police officers in the bar. We all had a drink and left. 

Prior to that we were at the scariest/sketchiest strip joint I have ever been in, story incoming on another forum.  

[squib 1119]

South of Waco, at a place called Papa Joe's

Edited July 26, 2019 by squib

[bluto 4861]

Found myself in this small town in Missouri and stopped into this shitbox for a drink, shared a parking lot with old ass auto parts store. Walk in to find a blind dude with a mullet singing the blues on stage behind chicken wire, place was a total shit show. Saw the barkeep pocketing cash, another one going to town on his gal in the storeroom, and even a hardass with a boot knife... needless to say the whole place was a pier 6 brawl. Fortunately I made it out alive thanks to this pint sized bouncer who kinda ran the place and his whiskey soaked lanky sidekick.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[El Diablo 4232]

5 minutes ago, squib said:

South of Waco, at a place called Papa Joe's

Isn't that the bar where Billy Joe Shaver got into a bit of a scrape? Used to shoot darts in there, thought it was just another roadside Texas beer joint.

[squib 1119]

2 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Isn't that the bar where Billy Joe Shaver got into a bit of a scrape? Used to shoot darts in there, thought it was just another roadside Texas beer joint.

"Where do you want it?"

[Trey3216 15321]

9 minutes ago, squib said:

South of Waco, at a place called Papa Joe's

Papa Joe's is a corral.  

[squib 1119]

3 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Papa Joe's is a corral.  

 

[HOOKEM4 5007]

29 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

 

The Tavern in Hudson Bend is surprisingly shitty. Depressing lake trash hogging 3-4 teeth each.

 

 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

Back when it was called Frogs a buddy and I got jumped by several mexicans as we were leaving. Earlier in the night I walked into the bathroom to piss and two mexicans were snorting coke off the top of the urinal. They were not happy when I walked in on them. Maybe the same guys maybe not. In the end I think we won the fight as I came out unscathed and buddy had a tiny shiner. He layed out two of the guys and we retreated before it turned into a pig stickin match or worse. 

[El Diablo 4232]

8 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

In Chicago I went to many a bar that I'm pretty sure didn't have a name.

If they did, it wasn't on the outside or posted anywhere that I can recall.

I'm talking about places with a 10' bar, beer pulled  out of a cooler or fridge if it was fancy with a few of the usual suspects of hard liquor above the bar on a shelf or in a "well".

I know one didn't even have a gun because when I asked for a club soda back to go with my Jameson, I was offered a bottle of water for $1.

It would not have gone well to ask for a martini nor a Corona.

I spent a week in Harlem, NY one night with a black chick I'd met when I was in the Navy. Those were the kinds of places we were hitting. Down a few steps into a doorway, makeshift place selling beer out of a fridge. I think that was in '85. She left me alone there while she went to score some crack for her uncle. Didn't get my ass kicked but I did get up and go back out on the street to wait for her. It was not going to end well if I'd stayed there, alone.

[Zwylde 810]

Anyone from Houston remember Gunny's Shack on the corner Louetta and Holzwarth?  Growing up in the area we thought it was a death wish to venture in there but actually started going in over the Summer's during college ('90-'92ish).  $.75 MIller Lite's and a badass jukebox full of Country Gold, a couple of domino tables and pool table.  Wasn't really rough at all but then again we never really stayed there late, just late afternoons and early evenings.  

[markstanco 12464]

I told the story on TOS, but for those that didnt read/recall it:

The Uncertain Tavern in Uncertain, TX (Caddo Lake).  Bunch of buddies went down there to fish and drink beer (not in that order) and went to the tavern that evening.  We were all playing pool and this guy with no shoes walks up and puts quarters on the table.  We tell him we are playing in our group, he says "nope Im next.  You didnt have your quarters down"  So I tell him "lsiten, we are playing for $100 a game.  Show me the money and you got next".

He thinks about it, then says "I dont have $100, but I can show you a meth lab and a $300 alligator if I lose."

Still to this day I have no idea what a $300 alligator is. 

[Trey3216 15321]

Anyone in Waco around the turn of the century remember when Oakley's was Continental Cowboy?  Thursday nights, in '00, were $.10 10oz draft night.  There was almost always a knock down, drag out fight in there.  What a hellhole.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

When I was in school my roommate and I used to go drink at this Mexican bar down the street from our apartment off Riverside. It closed down after there was a shoot out inside one night that killed a couple of people. Someone took over the location and turned into a great Mexican restaurant called Casita Jorge’s

[Trey3216 15321]

1 minute ago, markstanco said:

I told the story on TOS, but for those that didnt read/recall it:

The Uncertain Tavern in Uncertain, TX (Caddo Lake).  Bunch of buddies went down there to fish and drink beer (not in that order) and went to the tavern that evening.  We were all playing pool and this guy with no shoes walks up and puts quarters on the table.  We tell him we are playing in our group, he says "nope Im next.  You didnt have your quarters down"  So I tell him "lsiten, we are playing for $100 a game.  Show me the money and you got next".

He thinks about it, then says "I dont have $100, but I can show you a meth lab and a $300 alligator if I lose."

Still to this day I have no idea what a $300 alligator is. 

[noharleyyet 2832]

During a spur of the moment July 4 motorcycle trip, and parched,  we stopped at a joint just west of Idabel, OK on 70. There was a 50's model pickup on haydite blocks with the bed spilling empty beer cans higher than the cab guarding the front door. The interior was almost pitch dark and lung cancer vetted. The only light was the gimme fixtures behind the bar and a pin dot barely illuminating the go go dancer's cage. 

Fuggin' heaven it was...friendly local patrons and a mystery meat buffet, but alas, the dancer was incarcerated. 

 

[Dennis Taylor 18644]

7 minutes ago, markstanco said:

I told the story on TOS, but for those that didnt read/recall it:

The Uncertain Tavern in Uncertain, TX (Caddo Lake).  Bunch of buddies went down there to fish and drink beer (not in that order) and went to the tavern that evening.  We were all playing pool and this guy with no shoes walks up and puts quarters on the table.  We tell him we are playing in our group, he says "nope Im next.  You didnt have your quarters down"  So I tell him "lsiten, we are playing for $100 a game.  Show me the money and you got next".

He thinks about it, then says "I dont have $100, but I can show you a meth lab and a $300 alligator if I lose."

Still to this day I have no idea what a $300 alligator is. 

 

[El Diablo 4232]

12 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Anyone in Waco around the turn of the century remember when Oakley's was Continental Cowboy?  Thursday nights, in '00, were $.10 10oz draft night.  There was almost always a knock down, drag out fight in there.  What a hellhole.  

No, but I saw Jerry Jeff too drunk to sit on a bar stool in there in the late '70's. Place has a history.

[KaiserSoze 997]

44 minutes ago, bluto said:

Found myself in this small town in Missouri and stopped into this shitbox for a drink, shared a parking lot with old ass auto parts store. Walk in to find a blind dude with a mullet singing the blues on stage behind chicken wire, place was a total shit show. Saw the barkeep pocketing cash, another one going to town on his gal in the storeroom, and even a hardass with a boot knife... needless to say the whole place was a pier 6 brawl. Fortunately I made it out alive thanks to this pint sized bouncer who kinda ran the place and his whiskey soaked lanky sidekick.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ah, yes, the Double Deuce.

[markstanco 12464]

19 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When I was in school my roommate and I used to go drink at this Mexican bar down the street from our apartment off Riverside.

That reminds me, last summer in San Antonio for a show I let my sales manager book us a VRBO.  Never again. 

We went to this bar a few times, it was called El  Luchador in a not so great area in SA:  ( https://www.google.com/maps/place/El+Luchador/@29.3969731,-98.4864239,19z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x865c589e74898b07:0xad32537c3419e985!8m2!3d29.3969719!4d-98.4858767 )

We went because the lady behind the bar had a nice rack and she made the best michelada I have ever had. 

[demos 2983]

It’s a tie:

Some strip club in Killeen. Don’t remember the name because I was 3 sheets to the wind when we got there.

Babydolls (pretty that’s what they were calling it at time), which was a strip club located next to the Angelina River on Hwy 59 near the Nacogdoches county line.

[markstanco 12464]

1 minute ago, demos said:

Babydolls (pretty that’s what they were calling it at time), which was a strip club located next to the Angelina River on Hwy 59 near the Nacogdoches county line.

I drove to Houston a few months ago and all those buildings have been dozed.  

[demos 2983]

I drove to Houston a few months ago and all those buildings have been dozed.  

Yup. Nothing but a slab of concrete now. For the best really. Happened too late for me to avoid going in there though.