Official 2023 bitch about your family @ the Holidays thread

[BearSchlong 8072]

Lmao no. She is just loud.

[Dnaguy 11704]

6 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Maybe it's the guys she attracts. The gay ones.

It’s not gay if a chick fucks you in the ass?

I mean, that statement is technically through but defiantly not my cup of tea.

Being married is enough of an emasculation if you ask me.

[Dnaguy 11704]

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

A bitch?

A rose by any other name….

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

6 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

It’s not gay if a chick fucks you in the ass?

No. It’s gay when a guy has sex with another guy. That’s it.

[MissingInAction 24746]

[Sam Lin 3539]

It's only gay if your balls touch.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8795]

My 5 YO got like 3 gifts that require a remote control and my 13YO nephew that got nothing but clothes and gift cards unboxed all of my son’s gifts.


So now I have 3 missing controllers

[ABSR 5286]

On 12/30/2023 at 3:32 PM, BearSchlong said:

She has a strong, dominant personality. It’ll take a special guy to commit matrimony without homicide pegging.

I think this is what she is trying to tell you.  She will be marrying a Sub.

[LTbear 4152]

Family was planning trip to Big Bend in the spring when the bluebonnets are blooming there. Brother in law flatly shut it down because "My family isn't going there until they fix the border problem."

Edited January 8 by LTbear

[Biff Tannen 45439]

2 minutes ago, LTbear said:

Family was planning trip to Big Bend in the spring when the bluebonnets are blooming there. Brother in law flatly shut it down because "My family isn't going there until they fix the border problem."

You'll be better off without him anyway.

[LTbear 4152]

Just now, Biff Tannen said:

You'll be better off without him anyway.

Unfortunately if he doesn't go neither does my sister and her kid. 

[Biff Tannen 45439]

1 minute ago, LTbear said:

Unfortunately if he doesn't go neither does my sister and her kid. 

I mean, sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.  Don't miss out on something amazing because of someone else's folly.

[LTbear 4152]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

I mean, sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.  Don't miss out on something amazing because of someone else's folly.

If my sister doesn't go, neither will my mom or other sister. They can only afford one vacation a year and they'll just pick somewhere else that everyone is ok with. So BIL being uneducated causes chain reaction I can't control. 

[tigol 2383]

If my sister doesn't go, neither will my mom or other sister. They can only afford one vacation a year and they'll just pick somewhere else that everyone is ok with. So BIL being uneducated causes chain reaction I can't control. 

Tell your sister that her husband is a fucking idiot and leave him at home. Problem solved.

[dbagg 86]

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

[Parliament 14086]

You’re bringing your felonious cousin-in-laws into your home?  Just tell your wife no.  At the very least they can stay at a hotel and come over for dinner.

[Biff Tannen 45439]

24 minutes ago, Parliament said:

You’re bringing your felonious cousin-in-laws into your home?  Just tell your wife no.  At the very least they can stay at a hotel and come over for dinner.

This.  Also, Christmas in Feb?  Fuck that, they missed their window.

[Post Oak 20174]

1 hour ago, dbagg said:

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

[MissingInAction 24746]

[TrashMaster G 17334]

On 12/28/2023 at 8:06 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

I'm more team blue cheese when it comes to wings, but I'll abide the ranch in it's absence.

*its

[Hook1997 5263]

20 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

*its

Piss

[ABSR 5286]

17 hours ago, dbagg said:

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

Ground Hog Day, MLK and Easter really don't bring the family drama, which makes late winter/spring a barren time for this thread. 

Give your wife a hug from all of us and tell her THANK YOU!

[gernblansten 3172]

8 minutes ago, ABSR said:

Ground Hog Day, MLK and Easter really don't bring the family drama, which makes late winter/spring a barren time for this thread. 

Exactly. And, if he tries to shut it down the wife will just hit him with:

I have a dream that one day, on the hills of Punxsutawney, the groundhog will not see his shadow and we'll have an early spring. Reminding us all that felonious cousin #1 was sprung from prison early. I have a dream that one day on Easter Sunday, all three of my felonious cousins will sleep at our house where they will not be judged by their rap sheets, but by the content of rehabilitated hearts. I have a dream that one day out by the shop, with the felons lips dripping with the nectar of beer and whiskey, will join hands with the non-felons. I have a dream today. I have a dream that come February all tree felons shall be exalted, every probation violation be made clear, the rough prison tattoos made plain, and their crookedness be made straight, and the drunken bitterness of their Father shall be relieved, and all flesh shall see it together. 

[royiv 9124]

On 1/8/2024 at 3:39 PM, dbagg said:

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

What kind of felonies are we talking about here?

[SHOOTER12 8782]

On 1/8/2024 at 3:39 PM, dbagg said:

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

I'll go ahead and say it...it's been nice knowing you 

[SHOOTER12 8782]

On 1/8/2024 at 3:42 PM, Parliament said:

You’re bringing your felonious cousin-in-laws into your home?  Just tell your wife no.  At the very least they can stay at a hotel and come over for dinner.

Yep, hope they have a pool and a pond.....or a swamp

[SHOOTER12 8782]

On 1/9/2024 at 9:51 AM, gernblansten said:

Exactly. And, if he tries to shut it down the wife will just hit him with:

I have a dream that one day, on the hills of Punxsutawney, the groundhog will not see his shadow and we'll have an early spring. Reminding us all that felonious cousin #1 was sprung from prison early. I have a dream that one day on Easter Sunday, all three of my felonious cousins will sleep at our house where they will not be judged by their rap sheets, but by the content of rehabilitated hearts. I have a dream that one day out by the shop, with the felons lips dripping with the nectar of beer and whiskey, will join hands with the non-felons. I have a dream today. I have a dream that come February all tree felons shall be exalted, every probation violation be made clear, the rough prison tattoos made plain, and their crookedness be made straight, and the drunken bitterness of their Father shall be relieved, and all flesh shall see it together. 

The felon will be too busy drunkenly fucking the groundhog. 

[52-80 19047]

On 1/8/2024 at 4:43 PM, LTbear said:

Family was planning trip to Big Bend in the spring when the bluebonnets are blooming there. Brother in law flatly shut it down because "My family isn't going there until they fix the border problem."

Did he realize he’ll miss out on all the good food trucks ?

[dbagg 86]

On 1/10/2024 at 6:39 PM, royiv said:

What kind of felonies are we talking about here?

Manslaughter, drugs, assault

[Sbbruin 21690]

On 1/8/2024 at 1:39 PM, dbagg said:

I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home.  This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop.  Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit.  We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing.  After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness.  Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited.   Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home.  Good times

Now THIS requires a live stream.  Could top them all.