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Remembering hearing wildly racist stuff from regular folks


Brisketexan

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1 hour ago, David Dennison said:

Growing up in Houston in the 70s and 80s, the amount of casual and overt racism was downright absurd.

Most of the adults I knew as a child were unapologetic racists. The conversations behind closed doors among white people are almost unbelievable.

Every father knew the latest racist joke and used the most degrading epithets. Every mother was terrified of "the blacks."

These people were raising children.

I can actually report a different experience from Dallas in the same timeframe.  I didn't really hear race jokes until middle or high school, when kids started being general purpose dickwads.  I'm sure they got it from their parents, or grandparents, possibly more likely, but I certainly had no exposure to them through any of my friends or teammates.

 

Well wait, I did hear that Dan'l Boone was a man thing from another kid in like first grade (the show was still on), but it was very naughty, no one wanted to get caught singing/saying it.

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This thread got me thinking about how we all tend to romanticizing things or otherwise misremember and forget a few details that are uncomfortable. I have a hard time believing that so many of you who are anywhere from 5 to 40 years older than me saw less racial strife in your schools and neighborhoods than I did growing up in the 80s and 90s. 

Kinda like how prevailing wisdom has always been that boomers were exceedingly anti-war when in reality according to Gallup, boomers were more supportive of the war than older groups. 

 

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1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

And Hispanic is kind of a dumb ethnicity.  European Spaniards and Portuguese are  technically Hispanic and have little to do with American Hispanics.  There are, of course Mexicans and other Latin Americans of solely, or nearly solely, European descent.  They frequently tend to look down on their darker brethren, whether racially white or black.

Actually, it will be kind of nice when all this race/ethnicity crap blends together so it is just as arbitrary as it often seems.  The same psychologists that track whites' subconcious or primal preference for similar skintones (and the converse), also report that just about everyone finds people of mixed race more attractive than people of single races.

When I lived in Japan, there were these twin bartender girls, half Argentine and half Japanese. Oh, god, if I hadn't been married. Even more so, oh God, if I had the game to talk one of them into bed with me and the wife...

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I actually had a conversation with my dad this weekend where he did the dog whistle crap.

My daughter just turned 16 and he was asking how her driving was going. We somehow got to talking about honking the car horn at people. I said something like I told her to not lose her cool - flip the bird or yell something out her window etc. - if another driver does something dumb because you never know if you just flipped off a nutball with a gun.

My dad drops “Yeah, tell her to be especially careful if the other driver is a ‘thug’. They travel in packs.”

I snapped back that she’s just as likely to encounter an Oxy-ed up redneck with road rage and that he isn’t being subtle by using “thug” and calling them out as “traveling in packs”.

He got all blustery and changed the subject.

And I’ve lived in Alabama for 28 years but I grew up in the panhandle of Florida. I heard - and still hear when I go visit my parents - WAY more casual and not so casual racist talk in Florida than in Alabama.

I remember when I was around 7 or 8, my PaPa referred to “coons” and “porch monkeys”.

Woowee, my mom went ballistic.

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28 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I still remember being a kid and watching a football game on tv while my uncle was yelling and calling the players blue gums the whole game, like he had just learned the term and it struck him as great. 

Many African Americans have dark pigmentation on their gingiva (gums), but it looks almost black not blue. I don't even get that phrase?

 

 

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I went to Catholic schools. In grade school it was lily white, we had maybe 3 black kids in the entire place - 1st thru 8th grades. In high school the kids from the Mexican parish came over. People with names like Kwinta-Nilla. I'm sure the same sort of thing happened wherever cultures merged in America, the "Anglification" thing. I know that a lot of Czech names got mangled too.

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I grew up in a pretty diverse area, so I haven't had a lot of experience with this.  I had a number of black and latino friends growing up and no one in my family ever said anything disparaging or ever complained about the race of my friends or other people generally.  What I do remember is a former family member (married in and then divorced out) who would drop n-bombs while it was just us white guys hanging around the fire and drinking.  The part that gets me isn't just the racism, but the fact that he would only speak like that around other white people (which seems common).  How fucking cowardly do you have to be that you will use that word around white people but not black people or other minorities?  If you think it's something that's acceptable to say, you better be willing to say it around everyone.  Otherwise, you're wrong and you know you're wrong or you're a fucking coward.  /rant.

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6 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

How fucking cowardly do you have to be that you will use that word around white people but not black people

Uhh, probably because they’d whip his ass since they are bigger, stronger & faster than the whites...and have that extra leg muscle that no other race has. 

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Like all of you, I grew up around plenty of overt racism.  Now I live in a minority majority community and honestly, I get a little weirded out when I would go home to Westlake or head to certain areas of Northern Virginia/Montgomery County that are lily white.

When I worked in kitchens, Canadians was common parlance. I'd be curious to know if cooks and front of the house still use it.

Edited by Bateshorn
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7 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Like all of you, I grew up around plenty of overt racism.  Now I live in a minority majority community and honestly, I get a little weirded out when I would go home to Westlake or head to certain areas of Northern Virginia/Montgomery County that are lily white.

When I worked in kitchens, Canadians was common parlance. I'd be curious to know if cooks and front of the house still use it.

I thought Canadians was just a restaurant term for shitty customers.

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1 minute ago, Bateshorn said:

Like all of you, I grew up around plenty of overt racism.  Now I live in a minority majority community and honestly, I get a little weirded out when I would go home to Westlake or head to certain areas of Northern Virginia that are lily white.

When I worked in kitchens, Canadians was common parlance. I'd be curious to know if cooks and front of the house still use it.

It was when I worked in restaurants, 25+ years ago.

And the waitress who trained me at my first job was a tiny gal from Ghana -- her skin was black as midnight.  She was a fantastic lady.  But I hadn't been waiting tables for a week when I came back in the kitchen bitching about my first shitty tip -- "I took great care of them, they never told me they were unhappy, and they left me $2 on a $50 tab."  She looked at me, and in her accented English, said "oh....were they [pointing at her skin on her arm]."  I said yes, and she says "oh, dey da worst!"  First time I'd been exposed to that stereotype, and from a dark-skinned gal from Ghana.  Was eye-opening to naive 18 yr old brisket.

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Just a quick story...

My father is/was (retired) a pastor of a number of small churches in a pretty segregated denomination. However, he always worked to be inclusive to who was at our table when we were growing up, and we went to a number of services/"campmeetings"/events with our African American friends from the same denomination. He also did a significant amount of work in the pacific rim and latin America- work and mission trips.

We haven't really talked for about a year or so because of the comment he made about "the blacks" as a part of a politically charged (and Fox News inspired) diatribe.

It may also be helpful to note that 2 of his 8 grand-kids are African American, and three others are bi-racial.

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Yeah I was trying to not CR it up in here but my dad was 100% saying my daughter needed to be scared of “the blacks” when he referred to thugs.

He’s retired and watches nothing but Fox News and I had to mute him from my Facebook newsfeed because of the shit he posts.

He’s my dad and I love him but he’s a terrified old white man who thinks every brown stranger is a threat.

When I told him my daughter was going to a friend’s quinceanera, he told me I shouldn’t let her go because “those people might have relatives who are drug dealers”.

I told him to stop watching the scary news channel and the girl’s father is a cardiologist.

He hides it well but I’m under no illusions about what he really thinks. It breaks my heart but he’s a racist.

And stop being coy about the word “thug” - y’all know exactly what that word is code for.

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My dad was born in 1931 in Northeast Mississippi.  He stayed there until 1949 when he joined the Marine Corps, which was right after the military was desegregated.  He fought in the Korean War and after getting discharged, he went back home.  He stayed there until 1969, when shortly after I was born, we moved to Kermit, TX.  Anyway, my dad would say the n-word, but the way he would say it was never with hate or malice.  It just came out casually when talking about someone that was black.  He would talk about his n-word buddy from Marine Corps that he served in combat with.  I really can't explain it, other than it simply being the way he was raised.  He also grew up on the 'black' side of town, as his dad ran a 'grocery' (more like a convenience store/illegal sale of alcohol) store there (where we are from was a dry county and may still be so).

My mom, who was also born in the same town, never once used the word that I heard.  Then again, she was also an Army brat and was raised for a bit outside of Northeast Mississippi.

When I was about 12 years old living in STL, there was some busing going on and there were some kids from the city that were coming out to our school.  Our heavyweight on the wrestling team was one of those kids.  One day during practice some white kid called him a "stupid n-word" because the black kid ran into him when we were running sprints.  I was very surprised that the white kid didn't get the shit beat out of him.  When I got home, I told my parents the story and my dad, who used that word as casually as you may call someone by their first name, said that the black kid should have beat the shit out of the white kid.  I guess what I'm getting at is that although my dad was ignorant about the word, I honestly believe that there was no hate there.

Edited to add: I guess the addition of "stupid" in the above is what crossed the line in my dad's mind.

Edited by You don't know me
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34 minutes ago, Bama Chick said:



And stop being coy about the word “thug” - y’all know exactly what that word is code for.

Yeah FOX attracts the olds.  

For an age group yeah maybe, but I've heard, and used the term thug long before it was code for black, and use it the same way now regardless of skin color Thug was any criminal that would use strong arm tactics or was muscle for a criminal group.

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1 minute ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yeah FOX attracts the olds.  

For an age group yeah maybe, but I've heard, and used the term thug long before it was code for black, and use it the same way now regardless of skin color Thug was any criminal that would use strong arm tactics or was muscle for a criminal group.

LOL.

No.

 

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1 minute ago, David Dennison said:

LOL.

No.

 

LOL yeah.  You're a little scared child who sees racism in everything. How do you function in the real world ?   That's silly you don't live in the real world.  Hell Seinfield uses the very term in his sitcom regarding a girl he sees side swipe a car. Oh, and she was a white girl.... (gasp).  Nobody was thinking he meant she was a black criminal.  Jesus expand your simpleton vocabulary.

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6 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yeah FOX attracts the olds.  

For an age group yeah maybe, but I've heard, and used the term thug long before it was code for black, and use it the same way now regardless of skin color Thug was any criminal that would use strong arm tactics or was muscle for a criminal group.

I'm pushing 60 and "thug" has no racial connotation for me, never has had. I also don't watch the FOX news or any other for that matter. If I use the term it means thug and nothing more.

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Just now, Onboard 2.0 said:

LOL yeah.  You're a little scared child who sees racism in everything. How do you function in the real world ?   That's silly you don't live in the real world.  Hell Seinfield uses the very term in his sitcom regarding a girl he sees side swipe a car. Oh, and she was a white girl.... (gasp).  Nobody was thinking he meant she was a black criminal.  Jesus expand your simpleton vocabulary.

Stop being racist.

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It's bizarre how life experiences can change people's views on race.  My uncle was a proud member of the KKK in Ouchita Parish, Louisiana, where he and my dad grew up.  My uncle never left Ouchita Parish.  My dad joined the military and served 28 years including fighting in two wars.  He was the most nonracist man I have ever been around.  I remember my older brother dropping the n word and my dad got in the middle of his shit about it.  He tended to separate people into classes of sorry sonsofbitches and good folks, regardless of skin color.

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6 minutes ago, baboso said:

It's bizarre how life experiences can change people's views on race.  My uncle was a proud member of the KKK in Ouchita Parish, Louisiana, where he and my dad grew up.  My uncle never left Ouchita Parish.  My dad joined the military and served 28 years including fighting in two wars.  He was the most nonracist man I have ever been around.  I remember my older brother dropping the n word and my dad got in the middle of his shit about it.  He tended to separate people into classes of sorry sonsofbitches and good folks, regardless of skin color.

I suspect that fighting alongside men of all colors and on occasion seeing what they got inside em, and how similar it actually is, might have an influence on your views concerning race.

Edited by TwiceHorn
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17 minutes ago, Art Vandelay said:

I realize that for SOME people, the word "thug" may be a substitute for the n-word. However, I'm pretty sure it's still possible for a white person to be accurately labeled a thug. I mean, I'm not that old, but I can remember when that word had no racial connotation whatsoever.

I never thought of that word as having any racial connotation at all until it started being discussed as such a few years back.  I always thought it was a catchall for young men who go round looking for trouble, regardless of race, and I think this was definitely the case in the past.  I don't tangle with the millennial thought police though, and I readily admit I don't have a fucking clue about a lot of things including how the connotation of that word may have changed of the years, so I've removed it from my vocabulary just to be safe.

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1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

I'm pushing 60 and "thug" has no racial connotation for me, never has had. I also don't watch the FOX news or any other for that matter. If I use the term it means thug and nothing more.

I've called people thugs for years when the term suits. It has a brutish, neanderthal sound to it, and that's what I think describes a thug.

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3 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

I never thought of that word as having any racial connotation at all until it started being discussed as such a few years back.  I always thought it was a catchall for young men who go round looking for trouble, regardless of race, and I think this was definitely the case in the past.  I don't tangle with the millennial thought police though, and I readily admit I don't have a fucking clue about a lot of things including how the connotation of that word may have changed of the years, so I've removed it from my vocabulary just to be safe.

It's such a good descriptor word.

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4 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I've called people thugs for years when the term suits. It has a brutish, neanderthal sound to it, and that's what I think describes a thug.

Thinking now though I DO associate "thug life" with blacks. Not sure where I got that from. Gangbanging had a different meaning when I was young. Shrug.

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Grew up too far away from the south I guess. In my case it was Ding Dong Ditching, don't think I ever heard that other term for it. That other word was verboten in my house growing up.

 

 

 

OTOH, my username.

 

 

OTOH II I thought I was a redneck until I moved to Texas and met actual rednecks. So when I moved to Texas as an adult then, yeah, I heard that shit. That an y'all's tendency to mangle Spanish words really stood out to me back in the late '80s.

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1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yeah FOX attracts the olds.  

For an age group yeah maybe, but I've heard, and used the term thug long before it was code for black, and use it the same way now regardless of skin color Thug was any criminal that would use strong arm tactics or was muscle for a criminal group.

And how would you identify a thug in traffic?  Either by their car or the color of their skin. Neither of which is an accurate barometer for thug behavior. 

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