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  • 1 year later...

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/42341375/florida-woman-finds-human-head-while-jogging-in-st-petersburg

 

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) - A Florida woman found a human head while jogging on the side of a road Tuesday morning, authorities said.

 

The remains were found in a grassy area between a sidewalk and the edge of a road in St. Petersburg. Police were called to the scene after 7 a.m.

 

Investigators couldn't determine the person's race or gender, according to authorities. 

 

(No where else to put this, but needs to go somewhere.)

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  • 8 months later...

Florida declares state of emergency as reservoir holding millions of gallons of radioactive wastewater 'could collapse' at any time

https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-declares-state-emergency-reservoir-101805130.html

I hate to think what kind of nuclear powered stupidity will result from dousing those morons with radioactive water.

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  • 1 month later...

Florida Cop who has been fired *SEVEN FKING TIMES* will most likely get his job back.... again

 

I just fucking cant even....   hes been decalred guilty of 2 fucking felonies by a jury that a POS judge ruled wasnt a valid guilty verdict, arrested 2 other times, and literally beat a guy who fiiled a complaint against him....

and hes probably going to get rehired by the same fucking department that has fired him 7 times in 28 fucking years.

 

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  • 5 months later...
  • 2 months later...

Yeah, but most Floridians I know (I know a lot, I lived there for two years) are somewhat embarrassed by all the "Florida Man" stories, the insane state politics, and the fact that they know deep down that every time we see a fucked-up headline---that the rest of the country is thinking, "Oh, I bet this happened in Florida" as they click on it.  And they should be ashamed.  

But in Texas, we now celebrate that shit as a feature, not a bug.  

It is a shame, though, that all those great beaches are littered with Floridians.  

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  • 6 months later...

Of the 3 below, which one would shoot an ex at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting?

 

greenfield-hoffman-hunter-1660059462.png

(Left to right) Greenfield, Hunter, Hoffman

This is as Florida as it gets.

Young drug abusing woman trying to get her life in order attending NA meeting with her new father, I mean boyfriend. Dude who choose to have scar tattooed over his eye shoots them at the NA meeting.

https://www.wesh.com/article/edgewater-hostage-murder-suicide/40845663

Btw, old dude (59) was banging her (33). Good for him! Well, not anymore.

 

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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/burger-king/bk-cheeseburger-battery-420163

According to a criminal complaint, James Hunt, 41, and his “girlfriend and cohabitant” argued Saturday afternoon about “the victim not eating her food” at a Burger King in Clearwater, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

The dispute turned violent, cops say, when the 53-year-old woman began to leave the restaurant. That is when Hunt (seen at right) allegedly “threw a cheeseburger at the victim, striking her in the back of the head. This action caused the victim to fall over a curb onto the ground.”

The victim’s chin and lip hit the pavement, resulting in an abrasion and a cut. Upon arriving at the Burger King, cops observed blood on the victim’s shirt and shorts and cheese on her shirt and in her hair.

A Burger King worker told cops that before Hunt walked away from the restaurant, he struck the victim in the head while she was on the ground.

While Hunt reportedly “admitted to throwing the burger at the victim,” he denied striking her while she was down. Hunt also told police that he did not think the cheeseburger strike “caused her to slip on the curb and fall onto the ground.”

Charged with felony domestic battery, Hunt is being held in the county jail on $15,000 bond and has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim. Hunt, identified as a mechanic in court papers, has two prior domestic battery convictions, both of which date back to 2002 in Arkansas.

jameshuntp.jpg

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On 6/3/2021 at 10:06 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

Florida Cop who has been fired *SEVEN FKING TIMES* will most likely get his job back.... again

 

I just fucking cant even....   hes been declared guilty of 2 fucking felonies by a jury that a POS judge ruled wasnt a valid guilty verdict, arrested 2 other times, and literally beat a guy who filed a complaint against him....

and hes probably going to get rehired by the same fucking department that has fired him 7 times in 28 fucking years.

 

I had completely forgotten about this post until the thread got bumped, and i decided to Google his pretty unique name.

 

This piece of shit got promoted to CAPTAIN.   meaning he got 2 fucking promotions during his 2 year firing hiatus until the city was forced to hire this piece of shit back and not only do that, promote his ass to  Captain, and got all his fucking backpay.

 

https://www.govtech.com/public-safety/floridas-new-police-misconduct-database-lacks-complaints

 

Quote

The website also claimed that the officer was unemployed — though he actually got a recent promotion. It’s German Bosque, currently a captain in Opa-locka, who has been fired seven times and arrested and cleared three others during a 29-year career. Last year, he was fired for allegedly conspiring to cover up a crime scene for another cop. He got his job back. He also won at trial in a case in which he was accused of handcuffing and punching a youth counselor who had come to the police station to file a complaint against him. A decade ago, a Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigation dubbed Bosque “Florida’s worst cop.”

According to the search results on the new FDLE website, Bosque was found guilty of kidnapping and witness tampering and is unemployed as a police officer. He was charged with those crimes. But by 2017, after the case had fallen apart and prosecutors had quietly dropped the charges, Bosque was reinstated and promoted in Opa-locka.

 

Edited by AUS-97HORN
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  • 2 months later...

https://www.local10.com/news/local/2022/10/17/police-naked-man-wearing-cowboy-hat-attacks-woman-with-machete-in-medley/

Police: Naked man wearing cowboy hat attacks woman with machete in Medley

MEDLEY, Fla. – A South Florida man is facing three felony charges after police accused him of attacking a woman with a machete because she didn’t have a crack pipe.

Miami-Dade police arrested 45-year-old Roberto Hercules in Hialeah Friday.

According to an arrest report, Hercules was “completely naked,” wearing nothing but painted nails and a cowboy hat when he attacked the victim at Northwest 74th Street and South River Drive in Medley last Tuesday.

Police said the woman was riding her bicycle in the area when Hercules asked her for the pipe. Officers wrote that the attack began after she told him she didn’t have a pipe.

The woman jumped off her bicycle while Hercules chased after her and “continued to strike her with the machete” on the head and left arm, police said.

Hercules eventually ran off, officers said.

The woman suffered extensive injuries, including a fractured skull, a “small brain bleed,” a broken arm and a large laceration on her left hand.

She was hospitalized in “stable condition” at an intensive care unit at the time of the report, police wrote.

On Friday, police said they found Hercules sleeping in a tent next to a group of businesses on West 10th Court in Hialeah.

According to the report, Hercules was, once again, “completely naked and had painted nails.”

Police also found two cowboy hats inside the tent.

After police announced their presence, Hercules yelled that he “wanted to get shot,” but eventually complied, investigators wrote.

Police said the victim was able to identify Hercules in a photo lineup from her hospital bed.

He faces charges of attempted murder, attempted armed robbery and aggravated battery with a weapon.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

I bet she prefers anal.

Woman has a thing for storm drains. She should get charged for wasting people's times. 

 

https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-woman-pulled-from-storm-drain-for-third-time-in-2-years/

Florida woman pulled from storm drain for third time in 2 years

DELRAY BEACH, Fla. (WFLA) — A woman was pulled from a storm drain for the third time in just over two years on Wednesday.

Delray Beach police said they responded to a call of someone possibly in distress while swimming in a canal near Lindell Boulevard.

When officers asked if the woman needed help, police said she ignored them and climbed into a storm drain pipe.

The woman refused to come out and began crawling farther into the pipe, officers said.

Firefighters were able to contain the woman between two sections of pipe.

Police said Delray Beach Fire Rescue Special Operations team members used a ladder and rescue harness to get her out.

The woman identified as Lyndsey Kennedy appeared to have minor injuries. She was taken to a hospital for evaluation.

Police said Kennedy was also rescued from a storm drain in March 2021.

According to WPTV, Kennedy was reported missing by her boyfriend in March 2021. 20 days later, fire rescue crews found her stuck in a storm drain.

Kennedy told officials that she entered the drain system after swimming in a canal but later got lost and wandered through the tunnels for weeks.

Two months after that incident, the news station reported that police in Texas said Kennedy was missing. She was later found in a storm drain in Grand Prairie, Texas.

e8c7e990-c2ca-11eb-a5ca-1f21b9a5a166_800

 

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I have a bad feeling that Florida is like the SkyNet of states.  It's only a matter of time before it becomes self-aware of its own power and unleashes hell upon us.  I cannot fucking believe I lived there for two years and made it out alive.  How the fuck it's still a part of our country is so fucking beyond me...

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  • 1 month later...

https://wflanews.iheart.com/featured/florida-news/content/2023-02-23-man-throws-4-year-old-at-bus-terminal-claims-antisemitism-justification/

Florida News

Man Throws 4-Year-Old at Bus Terminal, Claims Antisemitism Justification

ByRob Garguilo

Feb 23, 2023

Tamarac, FL - A 65-year-old man has been charged with battery and child abuse for throwing a 4-year-old girl against a concrete column at a South Florida bus terminal, claiming he would not tolerate antisemitism.

Police arrested 65-year-old Barry Steven Nockowitz, from Tamarac, whose been charged with battery and child abuse after allegedly attacking the 4-year-old at a bus terminal in Broward County.

The incident occurred around 8 p.m. on Tuesday when Nockowitz approached the girl and her mother, who were sitting on a bench at the Broward County West Regional Bus Terminal on Pine Island Road.

According to Plantation police, Nockowitz grabbed the girl by the head and threw her against a concrete column before walking away.

While the girl did not sustain any serious injuries, Nockowitz was immediately identified as the suspect by the girl's mother and was later apprehended by a Plantation police officer along Pine Island Road.

When questioned by the officer, Nockowitz claimed that he "would not stand for antisemitism in this country" and that he had thrown the girl because of this belief.

He also told the officer that he was "going to find another kid" after the attack.

Nockowitz has been charged with battery and child abuse without great bodily harm, and is currently being held at Broward Main Jail on an $11,000 bond.

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  • 1 month later...

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2023/04/07/naked-greased-up-florida-man-accused-of-breaking-into-2-homes-jumping-in-pool/

In addition to being naked, the sheriff’s office said Tokman was covered in wheel-bearing grease, peppermint oil and blood. They believe he may have been under the influence of an unknown substance or substances. They said it took three medical professionals to secure him on a stretcher for evaluation and treatment.

Tokman faces charges of two counts of occupied burglary, three counts of battery on a law enforcement officer, two counts of criminal mischief and resisting arrest with violence.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

https://nypost.com/2023/06/27/florida-man-fired-at-pool-cleaner-mistaken-for-intruder-spared-charges/
 

Pool cleaner arrives in screened back yard unannounced at 9pm, homeowner thinks he’s an intruder, fires 2 shots from AR15, pool guy runs away, homeowner fires 28 more rounds through window with closed blinds. 

No charges.

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  • 3 weeks later...

3 yr old driving golf cart runs over and kills 7 year old.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/3-year-old-driving-golf-cart-florida-hits-kills-7-year-old-police-say-rcna94936

A 3-year-old driving a golf cart hit and killed a 7-year-old standing in the front yard of a home, police in Florida said.

The younger child was approaching a curve near a Fort Myers home on private property on Orange River Boulevard on Monday when the front of the vehicle collided with the 7-year-old, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

The 7-year-old was taken to the hospital where the child died, according to police. The 3-year-old was not injured.

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18 yr old mother hires hitman to kill her 3 year old son. No, really.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/miami-mother-hire-hitman-kill-3-year-son-101528152

MIAMI -- An 18-year-old Miami woman is accused of trying to hire a hitman to kill her 3-year-old son.

The woman appeared before a Miami-Dade County judge Wednesday following her arrest on charges of solicitation of murder and unlawful use of a communications device.

The woman visited a parody hit-for-hire website — intended to assist law enforcement — in an attempt to have the boy "taken away, far, far, far away and possibly be killed but ASAP,” Miami-Dade police said in a report. It said she was willing to pay $3,000.

  • Rage+1 1
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Damn. Chopped up woman found in 3 separate suit cases.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/womans-remains-found-floating-3-separate-suitcases-florida-waterway-rcna96060?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_ma&taid=64bfc05e1dc5750001be2e48&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

Police in South Florida on Monday asked for the public’s help identifying a woman whose remains were found floating in a waterway in three separate suitcases last week.

The Delray Beach Police Department held a press conference to generate clues as to whose body parts were found Friday in the Intracoastal Waterway near Palm Trail.

Delray Beach is about 30 miles north of Fort Lauderdale.

Delray Beach Police Chief Russ Mager said Monday a suitcase was initially discovered in the waterway “with what was believed to be the human remains hanging outside the suitcase.”

 

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2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Damn. Chopped up woman found in 3 separate suit cases.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/womans-remains-found-floating-3-separate-suitcases-florida-waterway-rcna96060?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_ma&taid=64bfc05e1dc5750001be2e48&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

Police in South Florida on Monday asked for the public’s help identifying a woman whose remains were found floating in a waterway in three separate suitcases last week.

The Delray Beach Police Department held a press conference to generate clues as to whose body parts were found Friday in the Intracoastal Waterway near Palm Trail.

Delray Beach is about 30 miles north of Fort Lauderdale.

Delray Beach Police Chief Russ Mager said Monday a suitcase was initially discovered in the waterway “with what was believed to be the human remains hanging outside the suitcase.”

 

I get it.  Spirit charges for everything.

  • Haha 4
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On 7/20/2023 at 1:18 PM, crash_davis said:

18 yr old mother hires hitman to kill her 3 year old son. No, really.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/miami-mother-hire-hitman-kill-3-year-son-101528152

MIAMI -- An 18-year-old Miami woman is accused of trying to hire a hitman to kill her 3-year-old son.

The woman appeared before a Miami-Dade County judge Wednesday following her arrest on charges of solicitation of murder and unlawful use of a communications device.

The woman visited a parody hit-for-hire website — intended to assist law enforcement — in an attempt to have the boy "taken away, far, far, far away and possibly be killed but ASAP,” Miami-Dade police said in a report. It said she was willing to pay $3,000.

I Understand Will Ferrell GIF by reactionseditor

 

 

season 2 lol GIF by Shameless

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She was technically 17 when she first contacted the hitman.  And in Florida, you have to be 18 to enter into a legally binding contract.  Except for a marriage license, only need to be 13 to get one of those in the backwards-ass Sunshine State that so many Texans wish to emulate.

You know how we talk about what a civic benefit it would be if all young Americans had to spend a year abroad in the peace corps or volunteering or basic military training?  I think all Americans should have to live in Florida for one year.  And I don't mean working at Disney or South Beach or NASA, but the real Florida.  Spend 365 days in that twilight zone of a state and then you'll think twice when you open your fucking mouth about how some Florida leaders have some really promising ideas.  It's fucking Thunderdome over there, no rules, just 100 degree oceans and homicidal toddlers.  

Edited by YGIFS
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God is punishing Florida. I curse you with Leprosy!

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/cases-leprosy-florida-rise-cdc/story?id=101876654

Cases of leprosy are rising in Florida, according to a new analysis published in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Emerging Infectious Diseases (EID) journal.

Although the disease is still rare in the U.S. -- with just 159 cases reported in 2020 -- a study released Monday from the EID and shared by the CDC found that Central Florida accounts for a bulk of those cases.

Central Florida appears to have the highest concentration of cases in the Sunshine State, with the region accounting for nearly one-fifth of reported cases in the U.S.

https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/29/8/22-0367_article

Central Florida, in particular, accounted for 81% of cases reported in Florida and almost one fifth of nationally reported cases (3). Whereas leprosy in the United States previously affected persons who had immigrated from leprosy-endemic areas, ≈34% of new case-patients during 2015–2020 appeared to have locally acquired the disease (4). Several cases in central Florida demonstrate no clear evidence of zoonotic exposure or traditionally known risk factors. 

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  • 1 month later...

Trimming trees, that's a blasting!

https://abcnews.go.com/US/78-year-allegedly-shoots-kills-neighbor-trimming-trees/story?id=103275826

A 78-year-old Florida man allegedly shot and killed his neighbor who was trimming trees along their property lines, authorities said.

The shooting was reported around 7:13 p.m. Sunday in DeLeon Springs, about 45 miles north of Orlando, the Volusia Sheriff's Office said.

The victim, 42-year-old Brian Ford, was trimming tree limbs along the fence line between two properties when his neighbor, 78-year-old Edward Druzolowski, "confronted him about being on his property," according to the sheriff's office.

Druzolowski later told police that "he threatened to shoot Ford, and when Ford didn’t leave, he shot him," the sheriff's office said in a statement.

fla-tree-ht-ps-230918_1695044390930_hpMa

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  • 1 month later...

Florida couple accused of taking turns cutting man’s throat, throwing him off bridge. He survived

 

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/2023/10/25/florida-couple-accused-of-taking-turns-cutting-mans-throat-throwing-him-off-bridge-he-survived/

ESCAMBIA COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida couple is accused of carjacking a man, taking turns cutting his throat and throwing him off a bridge, according to sheriff’s officials.

The Escambia County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday said Natalie Fonseca and Nafis Reynolds were arrested on attempted murder and other charges.

Deputies investigate murder-suicide in Seminole County after woman leaps off bridge

According to the sheriff’s office, the victim met Fonseca on social media and the two planned to go out for a date. When the man arrived to her home, she introduced him to Reynolds, whom she claimed was her uncle, deputies said.

The trio went for a drive to the victim’s home, and after they left, Fonseca and Reynolds hit the victim multiple times and told him he was going to die, according to sheriff’s officials.

Fonseca and Reynolds then stole the victim’s shoes, phone, money and car, deputies said. The pair then took turns cutting the man’s throat before throwing him off a bridge into Escambia River, the sheriff’s office said. It’s not known how far the man fell.

Sheriff’s officials said the two drove off in the victim’s car, which was later found on fire.

“Unbeknownst to our would-be killers, the victim was somehow able to survive the fall from the bridge and the cuts to his throat. He swam toward the shore, where he flagged down a deputy to tell his incredible tale,” the sheriff’s office wrote.

Fonseca and Reynolds face charges of attempted murder, armed carjacking, armed robbery and kidnapping.

 

H5PWN2PUMZFHTN56ETZZRR5YY4.jpg?_a=AJFJtW

 

  • Rage+1 1
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6 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Fonseca and Reynolds then stole the victim’s shoes, phone, money and car, deputies said. The pair then took turns cutting the man’s throat before throwing him off a bridge into Escambia River, the sheriff’s office said.

I want to know more about the valuable shoes. 

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13 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Florida couple accused of taking turns cutting man’s throat, throwing him off bridge. He survived

 

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/2023/10/25/florida-couple-accused-of-taking-turns-cutting-mans-throat-throwing-him-off-bridge-he-survived/

ESCAMBIA COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida couple is accused of carjacking a man, taking turns cutting his throat and throwing him off a bridge, according to sheriff’s officials.

The Escambia County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday said Natalie Fonseca and Nafis Reynolds were arrested on attempted murder and other charges.

Deputies investigate murder-suicide in Seminole County after woman leaps off bridge

According to the sheriff’s office, the victim met Fonseca on social media and the two planned to go out for a date. When the man arrived to her home, she introduced him to Reynolds, whom she claimed was her uncle, deputies said.

The trio went for a drive to the victim’s home, and after they left, Fonseca and Reynolds hit the victim multiple times and told him he was going to die, according to sheriff’s officials.

Fonseca and Reynolds then stole the victim’s shoes, phone, money and car, deputies said. The pair then took turns cutting the man’s throat before throwing him off a bridge into Escambia River, the sheriff’s office said. It’s not known how far the man fell.

Sheriff’s officials said the two drove off in the victim’s car, which was later found on fire.

“Unbeknownst to our would-be killers, the victim was somehow able to survive the fall from the bridge and the cuts to his throat. He swam toward the shore, where he flagged down a deputy to tell his incredible tale,” the sheriff’s office wrote.

Fonseca and Reynolds face charges of attempted murder, armed carjacking, armed robbery and kidnapping.

 

H5PWN2PUMZFHTN56ETZZRR5YY4.jpg?_a=AJFJtW

 

giphy.gif

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16 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Fonseca and Reynolds then stole the victim’s shoes, phone, money and car, deputies said. The pair then took turns cutting the man’s throat before throwing him off a bridge into Escambia River, the sheriff’s office said. It’s not known how far the man fell.

Sheriff’s officials said the two drove off in the victim’s car, which was later found on fire.

“Unbeknownst to our would-be killers, the victim was somehow able to survive the fall from the bridge and the cuts to his throat. He swam toward the shore, where he flagged down a deputy to tell his incredible tale,” the sheriff’s office wrote.

Let me get this straight - they "took turns" cutting his throat, then after the fall he was able to "tell" what happened?  Did they try and cut his throat with a butter knife?

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19 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

According to the sheriff’s office, the victim met Fonseca on social media and the two planned to go out for a date. When the man arrived to her home, she introduced him to Reynolds, whom she claimed was her uncle, deputies said.

The trio went for a drive to the victim’s home, and after they left, Fonseca and Reynolds hit the victim multiple times and told him he was going to die, according to sheriff’s officials.

Fonseca and Reynolds then stole the victim’s shoes, phone, money and car, deputies said. The pair then took turns cutting the man’s throat before throwing him off a bridge into Escambia River, the sheriff’s office said. It’s not known how far the man fell.

Sheriff’s officials said the two drove off in the victim’s car, which was later found on fire.

Sounds like a banger of a first date....

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