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Last Jedi Was So Bad I Only Saw It Twice


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20 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:

Posed in Solo thread, but am I misremembering that Fin was going to sacrifice himself to destroy the giant laser but Rose thwarted him? Then the laser breeched the door?

No, that’s exactly what happened.  Then she said something about war is really about saving the ones you love ... or something.  It was one of the worst moments in the Star Wars series.

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So, if Marvel can get away with purposefully killing off nearly it's entire franchise only to be resurrected later via time travel/manipulation...

why can't the space time continum not also be manipulated in the Star Wars universe?

They could just pick up all over again with Rey handing Luke his saber.

(I'm halfway sorta serious. I mean why not)

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No, that’s exactly what happened.  Then she said something about war is really about saving the ones you love ... or something.  It was one of the worst moments in the Star Wars series.
It was prequel levels of stupid. Nearly as bad as "I hate sand"
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22 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:

 


Man that was even more stupid than when I first saw it. What are they traveling 500 mph? She would have killed them both.

 

The physics are all fucked up on this one. Finn is going full speed, she dropped back with the group, then turned around to chase him, went up in the air while he was traveling in a straight line the whole time, but some how she caught up and got above him to take him out. She must have put some NOS on that rice burning speeder!

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On 5/31/2018 at 8:56 AM, Rabidhorn said:

Not as good as the first three

Tons better than the middle three.

This is absolutely accurate, although i liked Last Jedi better than Return. Return was sappy. Last Jedi had some edge.

I sense gamer gate strains in all this over loud bitching about females in film. George Lucas botched the prequels insurmountably, where is the equivalent gender specific bile. Also, there hasn't been a female director. Maybe all these hotshot male directors and writers suck. Why? They have nothing new to say, they're simply trying to career splash, rake in money and dominate Hollywood.

Unique perspectives, well captured, make movies great. 

  • Fuck You 4
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2 hours ago, R2D2 said:

This is absolutely accurate, although i liked Last Jedi better than Return. Return was sappy. Last Jedi had some edge.

I sense gamer gate strains in all this over loud bitching about females in film. George Lucas botched the prequels insurmountably, where is the equivalent gender specific bile. Also, there hasn't been a female director. Maybe all these hotshot male directors and writers suck. Why? They have nothing new to say, they're simply trying to career splash, rake in money and dominate Hollywood.

Unique perspectives, well captured, make movies great. 

What in the wide wide world of sports are you talking about.  Is this like a phelgm_teammate hybrid sock?

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1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Finn wanted to die. Has a stage five clinger attached to him after knowing her for less Han a week. 

She may be a clinger but she weighs so much at a certain point gravity takes over.

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51 minutes ago, crackamacgowski said:

 


The prequels are that bad and TLJ is on the same level.

 

Nah, the prequels dont waste the original trio by not letting them ever really meet cause one is litteraly dead and 2 of them are dead in the movies. You had them all and squandered it so bad.

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Nah, the prequels dont waste the original trio by not letting them ever really meet cause one is litteraly dead and 2 of them are dead in the movies. You had them all and squandered it so bad.


You’re making a strange argument. The prequels are three bad movies with major plot holes, character building disasters and green screen nightmares. TLJ’s flaws don’t elevate the prequels. They are terrible.
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21 minutes ago, crackamacgowski said:

 


You’re making a strange argument. The prequels are three bad movies with major plot holes, character building disasters and green screen nightmares. TLJ’s flaws don’t elevate the prequels. They are terrible.

 

Strangely this one is so bad the prequel reruns on TBS have become more and more watchable. Samuel Jackson was a bad ass. Liam Neilson was great. So was Obi/Maul. At least you had people to root for, bad ass lightsaber battles.  TLJ was a bunch of losers, including the empire leaders. 

Never thought this would be possible

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I'm saying that tfa and tlj had no character devolpment for any of the characters, and I'm mad that they the original trio had no real words together other than Han and Leia, and when Luke hears his friend of thirty years is dead we don't get to see his reaction. That's is bullshit . The prequels aren't masterpieces but they had character growth. Palpatine and Anikan's talks were really good, and Obi wan was played really well by Ewan McGregor.

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1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Strangely this one is so bad the prequel reruns on TBS have become more and more watchable. Samuel Jackson was a bad ass. Liam Neilson was great. So was Obi/Maul. At least you had people to root for, bad ass lightsaber battles.  TLJ was a bunch of losers, including the empire leaders. 

Never thought this would be possible

Gagree. The prequels were terrible movies, but at least they gave you some of what you went to see them for. Neeson and Obi Wan versus Maul was good. Christopher Lee, enough said. Obi Wan was good throughout. Christensen was a very shitty as Anakin/Vader, but at least they told the story of how Vader came to be, which is something. TLJ contributes nothing.

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15 hours ago, Patrick Bateman said:

This is a decent article which looks at not only what TLJ got wrong but it's impact on Solo and the entire SW universe.  It also belittles Mendelson, who's a fucking hack.  Never a bad thing.

https://medium.com/@MichaelParker__31678/the-last-jedi-solo-and-star-wars-backlash-bdee9b799023

Hollywood will either right the ship and give us good, solid storytelling or they will latch onto Mendelson's delusion and give us even worse movies going forward. 

I predict more of the former before they turn to the latter. They need to experience 1 or 2 more box office bombs before their hubris gets out of the way.  

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Also, is there any doubt that Holdo was written into the script to represent Kathleen Kennedy? KKK should have just played the role herself it was so obvious.


I thought Holdo was a First Order agent who helped them track their ships. They could have had Rose and Finn discover the treachery.
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2 hours ago, ajax said:

Hollywood will either right the ship and give us good, solid storytelling or they will latch onto Mendelson's delusion and give us even worse movies going forward. 

I predict more of the former before they turn to the latter. They need to experience 1 or 2 more box office bombs before their hubris gets out of the way.  

Disney did not spend $4 billion to get her. 

Kennedy will live or die by IX.  If she stays on, I’d bet that she loses all creative control to Filoni  

She looks like amateur hour compared to Feige, and Filoni is showing that he gets the creative side of things. 

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I just saw an alternate plot for TLJ that would've made it a good movie.

Everything is the same up to the point when Kylo takes Rey to Snoke. Snoke tries to lure Rey to the dark side, telling her that she's the most powerful being with the Force ever. Snoke says that he was just using Kylo as a pawn to get to Rey. Now that he's found Rey, he can throw Kylo aside. Kylo is enraged at being used and dissed by Snoke.

Rey is so full of pride that she turns to the dark side. Snoke orders Rey to kill Kylo, and they get in a fight. Rey is about to kill Kylo when the doors blow open. It's Luke. He's come to make up for the past and save Kylo.

Luke defeats Snoke, takes Kylo and they take off in an escape pod, leaving Snoke and evil Rey behind. Luke says to Kylo - "I'm sorry for the past. I'm sorry for betraying you. But now we have to save Rey."

Kylo is bewildered. "Why do you care about her so much? She just tried to kill me."

Camera closes in on Luke's face. "Because. I'm her father."

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34 minutes ago, ajax said:

I just saw an alternate plot for TLJ that would've made it a good movie.

Everything is the same up to the point when Kylo takes Rey to Snoke. Snoke tries to lure Rey to the dark side, telling her that she's the most powerful being with the Force ever. Snoke says that he was just using Kylo as a pawn to get to Rey. Now that he's found Rey, he can throw Kylo aside. Kylo is enraged at being used and dissed by Snoke.

Rey is so full of pride that she turns to the dark side. Snoke orders Rey to kill Kylo, and they get in a fight. Rey is about to kill Kylo when the doors blow open. It's Luke. He's come to make up for the past and save Kylo.

Luke defeats Snoke, takes Kylo and they take off in an escape pod, leaving Snoke and evil Rey behind. Luke says to Kylo - "I'm sorry for the past. I'm sorry for betraying you. But now we have to save Rey."

Kylo is bewildered. "Why do you care about her so much? She just tried to kill me."

Camera closes in on Luke's face. "Because. I'm her father."

Yeah, no. We don’t get any of that.

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buncha angry incels in this thread

Episode 8 was a good movie. Suck it, bitches

 

BTW, the criticisms of Episode 8 are IDENTICAL to the criticisms of Empire Strikes Back when it first came out. As is the critic vs. fan response...

Edited by Rimbo
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