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Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

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Would be interested to see their analysis.

So July 1 I started a new job with a much smaller company, and August 1 I got Covid.

Bad case - not hospitalized but in bed with fever for 2 weeks and basically forced myself to go back to work when the 2 weeks of PTO ran out. I wasn't ready.

Back at work (work is remote, so I could fake it) for 1 week then had to board up my house and evacuate for a hurricane.

Covid took a huge mental toll, and triggered some anxiety attacks and even some "mild intermittant suicidal ideation". Or sheer terror, really.

Very strange phenomenon, the 2nd time I've had a serious medical problem in which that occurred - the first being in 2004 when I had heart issues and was on FMLA for 6 weeks. Felt like my heart was gonna pound out of my chest, went about 3 nights with very little sleep. At the time it seemed real, but several weeks later I barely remember the feelings.

This makes twice in my 48 yrs that my mind has wandered into the thought, even temporarily and fleeting, that I wanted it all to just end.

I've started this post about 5 times over the last several days but wanted to get it out there.

Yall know I'm a reformed drunk with a spiritual solution - and I relied heavily on prayer and meditation to get me through the last few weeks. A lot of "God just get me through today without dying or losing my mind" and practicing acceptance. Something one of my spiritual advisors describes as "leaning into and walking through" serious situations.

Do I think God did anything? Nah.

But I sure feel better. Met with my shrink this week via zoom and relayed what happened - wanted to make sure that the Wellbutrin didn't contribute to the panic, as it actually is a reported side effect.

Just wanted to get this off my chest.

Also 39 days after Covid and its taken this long to feel normal.

Edited by BearSchlong
tapatalk kept adding double spaces, edited for formatting.

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Damn.......That's a lot to "lean into".  

Thanks for that phrasing and the lesson on how you applied it.

Sounds like your God is the same one with whom I try to maintain contact.

The grace is there to to help us navigate the human experience; not to give us a free pass to avoid that human experience.

 

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thanks, like I said, I debated even saying anything in this thread, but on the offhand chance anyone else faces similar things I wanted to be helpful, and it felt good to get it off my chest.

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pardon me, but seems like a good thread to ask...

if one walks into a psychiatrist's appointment and basically confesses to harming yourself and wanting to kill yourself...how long is the 'hold' that they can put on you involuntarily? anybody know anything about that process? i assume they can't just lock up you indefinitely against your will...

this is obviously not about me...but has happened today, extremely close family, i'm kind of freaking out...  

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7 hours ago, mchookem said:

pardon me, but seems like a good thread to ask...

if one walks into a psychiatrist's appointment and basically confesses to harming yourself and wanting to kill yourself...how long is the 'hold' that they can put on you involuntarily? anybody know anything about that process? i assume they can't just lock up you indefinitely against your will...

this is obviously not about me...but has happened today, extremely close family, i'm kind of freaking out...  

If I remember right, someone can be hospitalized up to 90 days with a valid court order, but it sounds like this is an emergency commitment.  If that's the case, I think the individual needs to be examined by a physician within 48 hours or must be released.  Though my memory is a bit hazy regarding Texas involuntary commitments.

Hope your loved one is OK, gets the help he/she needs, and their patient autonomy and rights are respected.

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On 9/11/2020 at 3:13 PM, mchookem said:

pardon me, but seems like a good thread to ask...

if one walks into a psychiatrist's appointment and basically confesses to harming yourself and wanting to kill yourself...how long is the 'hold' that they can put on you involuntarily? anybody know anything about that process? i assume they can't just lock up you indefinitely against your will...

this is obviously not about me...but has happened today, extremely close family, i'm kind of freaking out...  

48 Hour hold

http://myburke.org/wp-content/uploads/Texas-Health-and-Safety-Code-Sections-Related-to-Emergency-Detention.pdf

https://texaslawhelp.org/article/involuntary-commitment-texas

 

Quote

PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION SAME FOR BOTH WARRANT AND EPOW Sec.573.021. (a) A facility shall temporarily accept a person for whom an application for detention is filed. (b) A person accepted for a preliminary examination may be detained in custody for not longer than 48 hours after the time the person is presented to the facility unless a written order for protective custody is obtained. The 48-hour period allowed by this section includes any time the patient spends waiting in the facility for medical care before the person receives the preliminary examination. If the 48-hour period ends on a Saturday, Sunday, legal holiday, or before 4 p.m. on the first succeeding business day, the person may be detained until 4 p.m. on the first succeeding business day. If the 48-hour period ends at a different time, the person may be detained only until 4 p.m. on the day the 48-hour period ends. If extremely hazardous weather conditions exist or a disaster occurs, the presiding judge or magistrate may, by written order made each day, extend by an additional 24 hours the period during which the person may be detained. The written order must declare that an emergency exists because of the weather or the occurrence of a disaster. (c) A physician shall examine the person as soon as possible within 12 hours after the time the person is apprehended by the peace officer or transported for emergency detention by the person’s guardian. (d) A facility must comply with this section only to the extent that the commissioner determines that a facility has sufficient resources to perform the necessary services under this section. (e) A person may not be detained in a private mental health facility without the consent of the facility administrator.

 

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crisis somewhat averted, modified to voluntary, easier to manage... thank you.  sometimes you just panic, you know?

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This is my first time posting in this thread and I don't know if it's even the right place to post.

I have always worried about small things and made mountains out of mole hills. Recently I find myself constantly thinking about "what ifs" at my job to the point where I build up a huge amount of stress. I'm a teacher and deal with a lot of parents and issues. I'm notoriously bad for visualizing a scenario in my head, gradually making it much bigger than it needs to be, and eventually letting it consume me. I'll completely zone out at home, can't take my mind off of what may happen the next day, and end up stressing out. I know that I need to learn to grow thicker skin and stop sweating the small stuff but over the last year or so I've noticed that it's gotten worse.

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3 hours ago, chikin23 said:

This is my first time posting in this thread and I don't know if it's even the right place to post.

I have always worried about small things and made mountains out of mole hills. Recently I find myself constantly thinking about "what ifs" at my job to the point where I build up a huge amount of stress. I'm a teacher and deal with a lot of parents and issues. I'm notoriously bad for visualizing a scenario in my head, gradually making it much bigger than it needs to be, and eventually letting it consume me. I'll completely zone out at home, can't take my mind off of what may happen the next day, and end up stressing out. I know that I need to learn to grow thicker skin and stop sweating the small stuff but over the last year or so I've noticed that it's gotten worse.

You are certainly not the only one who begins to suffer from anxiety at a later stage in life.

Without knowing anything about you're current situation other than what you've posted, I would:

1) Talk about your worries and concerns with supportive loved ones

2) Engage in "fun" activities that don't involve a screen

3) Exercise

4) And take comfort that it's very likely your concerns are shared by many of your colleagues; in fact, if it's any solace, I tip my cap to you for having to deal with the armies of Karens and Chads and their snot-nosed brats that schoolteachers need to deal with 

And if these fail, I would start looking into possibly therapy or a psychiatrist appointment for psychotropic medication.  Good luck.

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21 hours ago, mchookem said:

crisis somewhat averted, modified to voluntary, easier to manage... thank you.  sometimes you just panic, you know?

Psychiatrists are usually pretty good at talking people into a voluntary stint.

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Don't feel like you're going to regret sharing it, sunlight (and honesty) is the best disinfectant.

Morally corrupt like don't give a shit, or morally corrupt like people should go to jail?  Big difference.

Just escaped what I imagine was a similar situation and am so glad I did.  For years I've joked that our paychecks were really just "Hush Money" i.e. they pay me way to much to just STFU and not rock the boat.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

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On 9/13/2020 at 1:40 PM, chikin23 said:

This is my first time posting in this thread and I don't know if it's even the right place to post.

I have always worried about small things and made mountains out of mole hills. Recently I find myself constantly thinking about "what ifs" at my job to the point where I build up a huge amount of stress. I'm a teacher and deal with a lot of parents and issues. I'm notoriously bad for visualizing a scenario in my head, gradually making it much bigger than it needs to be, and eventually letting it consume me. I'll completely zone out at home, can't take my mind off of what may happen the next day, and end up stressing out. I know that I need to learn to grow thicker skin and stop sweating the small stuff but over the last year or so I've noticed that it's gotten worse.

I'm married to a teacher, mom was also a teacher. I can tell you this is very common / normal for teacher's today.

The first thing I would strongly, strongly recommend is to put a mark on the calendar 6 months out. Agree that is you still feel this way and are having the same issues you WILL see a therapist.  If you can or want to see one sooner please do so, I just know teachers for some reason, maybe because they spend their day solving problems feel like they don't need help or don't have time to get it. 

What you are feeling won't go away if you don't find a way to handle it which means changing how you operate or internalize.  No work email on phone, I leave school by X time each day no matter what. I don't respond to parents on same day, I only respond with a single paragraph. I won't battle with kids or parents, I'll let them have their way if they so demand as I can only help those that want help and I take that extra time and energy and will spend it those that do. etc.

You have to find a person you can outlet to help find ways to change things to make things better.  That person IMO and what I've seen CANNOT be another teacher.  Too often this makes things worse not better as they either go with "you think that's bad, well I ..." or they add fuel to the fire. Neither path leads to better solutions so you feel better for an instant but the "Sunday dread" feelings return quickly.

It comes down to putting yourself first before your kids, the parents, even your own family.  I stress a therapist because teachers need more than just an outlet that listens, they need someone who can help guide them to making things better.  It's incredible what a teacher must handle these days. Utmost respect for taking on that profession.

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That’s a good idea. Put a stake in the ground and see how it changes or stays the same and if the same or worse seek some help.

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