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Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you

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Had a Border Collie growing up that could jump into one of these from the back...  If he knew his boy( me) was in there, he was coming too.

Best dog ever.

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I love buying sparking grape juice in glass bottles before noon on Sundays. I always get someone tell me "hey you can't buy that! it's not 12" and I tell them I found a loophole in the law. "What's the loophole?". That's my secret. Can't tell anyone or they'll change the law. So stupid but it cracks me up every time. 

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17 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

so seriously whats the secret

He has nekkid pictures of the store manager's girlfriend.

 

That's not the secret, but he has them anyway.

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On 11/25/2019 at 6:18 PM, Armybrat said:

Didn’t even have Ranch dressing back then.

Bet you remember "Green Goddess" eh brat?

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49 minutes ago, The Ace of Aces said:

Screw tops on wine bottles.

They runnin outta corks...

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On 2/10/2020 at 8:46 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

One of my old greyhounds used to jump over picnic tables when frolicking at speed. 

One of mine jumped into the 4Runner when the tailgate was still up. Window was down, obviously. Craziest shit ever.

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The "gurgle-gurgle" of waiter draining from the graywater discharge line, after having discovered that we don't have a sewer-cleanout.

(I didn't even know where the septic tank was, before this episode, actually; I'm installing a two-way cleanout next weekend. Because... yeah, we're not repeating this exercise. Ever.)

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Leftovers that taste just right coming out of the microwave. I just heated up some pasta from a couple of days ago, and it has just the right flavor and consistency -- some things, when you reheat them, just taste like, well, reheated leftovers. But every now and then, you get something that's every bit as good reheated as it was the first time around, and when that happens, it's pure joy.

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Brand new windshield wipers.  I'm spraying the washer and running the wipers even when the windshield is clean I love it so much.

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Little old neighbor lady that brings over bad ass banana nut bread because she wants to make sure we have enough food to make it through the CV insanity.   

God bless America and old people. 

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When your grown ass kid got some great career news, but your dumb ass made a promise not to tell your wife.

It's torture waiting for the call, but simultaneously awesome.

Few things top when your kids' hard work pays off.

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On 2/16/2020 at 1:20 PM, HRSchenker said:

I love buying sparking grape juice in glass bottles before noon on Sundays. I always get someone tell me "hey you can't buy that! it's not 12" and I tell them I found a loophole in the law. "What's the loophole?". That's my secret. Can't tell anyone or they'll change the law. So stupid but it cracks me up every time. 

On the rare occasion I drink a soda out of a can and I'm in my car, you better believe I have akoozie on it and roll with my windows down taking sips of it like a boss.

As teenagers we'd get the 16 oz bottles of root beer and get the little paper bags like they give you for real beer. 

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I conspicuously and publicly drank a few O'Douls in front of the local convenient store one gradeschool summer. My buddies and I all thought we were the ultimate pranksters every time someone would look at us sideways. 

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3 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

New bar of soap in my shower.

Just don't drop it.

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3 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

New bar of soap in my shower.

Went on a hunt with some friends.  Had a big steak, baked potato, corn on the cob and salad supper the night we arrived.  Early the next morning, the guy that ran the ranch was up early cooking coffee and then proceeded into the single bathroom to shit and shower.

The next guy up wanted to take a quick shower before we went out.  The smart ass ranch foreman had saved some corn kernels from a cob  and smashed them into the once-used bar of soap in the shower and put the soap bar back up onto the soap nook replete with the corn glommed onto it.

The horrible screech that came from the next guy up in the shower was finominile.  We all had a good laugh.

csb

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Millennials and younger won't use bar soap.  They think it's gross and only use "body wash."  This includes my son-in-law former SEAL.

In my view, body wash is stupid and just a scam by the soap companies to sell more product.  Plus, the wash towel or whatever else you're using to apply the body wash is way more unhygienic than a bar of self-cleaning soap.  

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

What's a wash towel?  You don't just put that shit in your hand?  I feel dumb now.

 

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23 hours ago, deadshank said:

Went on a hunt with some friends.  Had a big steak, baked potato, corn on the cob and salad supper the night we arrived.  Early the next morning, the guy that ran the ranch was up early cooking coffee and then proceeded into the single bathroom to shit and shower.

The next guy up wanted to take a quick shower before we went out.  The smart ass ranch foreman had saved some corn kernels from a cob  and smashed them into the once-used bar of soap in the shower and put the soap bar back up onto the soap nook replete with the corn glommed onto it.

The horrible screech that came from the next guy up in the shower was finominile.  We all had a good laugh.

csb

All kinds of awesome.  I'm going to have to remember that trick

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Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrushes. We took a drive today out to Ennis, just to get out of the house and see something pretty. Fields and fields of bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes all over the place. Plus, scored a Blizzard at Dairy Queen. Not easy to do in Dallas proper. 

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When you decide to have movie night during the lockdown and your 7 year old kid chooses Jaws as the picture.  

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9 hours ago, pops said:

When you decide to have movie night during the lockdown and your 7 year old kid chooses Jaws as the picture.  

To this day I have a fear of open water because I saw Jaws on the big screen in 1976, when I was 8. As hokey as it looks now, to 8-yo NNM, it was scarring. 

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3 hours ago, nnm said:

To this day I have a fear of open water because I saw Jaws on the big screen in 1976, when I was 8. As hokey as it looks now, to 8-yo NNM, it was scarring. 

I am slightly younger than you so I have no idea why I was allowed to see that movie.  I was scared of swimming pools, bathtubs, puddles.  Hell anything with water.

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When someone begins their post/paragraph/rant with, "Folks".  Because that is always followed by a bunch of clueless bullcrap, so it's a great timesaver to indicate I can skip over all that.

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Every once in awhile I like watching videos on YouTube of amateur bands doing covers of famous songs. Reminds me way too much of the covers we used to do in my band we had in high school. This is pretty much what it was like except we wore shirts

 

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On 4/19/2020 at 10:46 PM, pops said:

When you decide to have movie night during the lockdown and your 7 year old kid chooses Jaws as the picture.  

Kid has upper management written all over him. 

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The moments on our walks where the 7 month old puppy actually walks next to me in the manner she should be based on the month of training classes we gave her before all this broke out. It's the weird moment where I think her little puppy brain actually gets it. We went on a family hike at a local forest near our house and she was out in the lead and doing great versus her normal "I must sniff everything in sight" behavior. There's a disciplined dog in there somewhere behind all that rambunctious mess.  

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Every once in awhile I like watching videos on YouTube of amateur bands doing covers of famous songs. Reminds me way too much of the covers we used to do in my band we had in high school. This is pretty much what it was like except we wore shirts
 

That sounded like someone boiling my daughter’s chihuahua alive

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Seeing the Blue Angels fly by. 8 year old inside me got a kick out of that. 

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The cool, dry air that blew in last night. What a delightful morning. 

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3 hours ago, mdmost said:

Seeing the Blue Angels fly by. 8 year old inside me got a kick out of that. 

51-year old me got a kick out of that. So fun. Seems like the whole city turned out where I was. 

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A breezy and dry 70 degrees right now at deer camp in SE Uvalde county.  Sprinklers going on lawn by fire ring in the camp circle and fire flies are out and showing off. The dove, quail cardinals, red winged blackbirds and green jays at the bird feeder called it a day. On my 3rd ranch water.  All by my lonesome and couldn’t be more pleased after a hard day of cutting and mowing. 

 

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On 5/9/2020 at 9:00 PM, deadshank said:

A breezy and dry 70 degrees right now at deer camp in SE Uvalde county.  Sprinklers going on lawn by fire ring in the camp circle and fire flies are out and showing off. The dove, quail cardinals, red winged blackbirds and green jays at the bird feeder called it a day. On my 3rd ranch water.  All by my lonesome and couldn’t be more pleased after a hard day of cutting and mowing. 

 

I’m not much of a tequila drinker, but I keep some good stuff stocked for guests or cocktails or whatever. One for mixin’, one for sippin’. 
 

Your post inspired me to finally investigate this Ranch Water thing. Picked up some limes, some Topo. 
 

It has been glorious.  For the past month, it has been the perfect Summer sippin’ especially with the heat coming on. Already had to go buy more Tequila (and limes, and Topo). 
 

Thanks for the push. And salud!

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