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Shit my co-worker said

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Email going 'round the office (500 or so employees).. chicken spaghetti plates for sale. Benefitting someone's kid's quinceanera. Did not reply but wanted to badly.

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On 8/13/2019 at 4:35 PM, El Diablo said:

Email going 'round the office (500 or so employees).. chicken spaghetti plates for sale. Benefitting someone's kid's quinceanera. Did not reply but wanted to badly.

Because you're embarrassed about the amount of plates you want to order? 

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On 5/23/2019 at 1:12 PM, ztejas said:

Had an open meeting with AT&T recently as we are considering switching phone/internet providers. 

Girl in the meeting kept saying "land line" 

Not the worst of faux pas but there were 5 AT&T reps in the room, one of whom answered a question by saying "so, when you have a LAN line"

Almost felt like I needed to apologize. 

Well land line would be correct if you were talking about phone, working for one of the big 4 phone providers for awhile we had a large focus of switching users from land lines to mobile. 

 

Now if you are talking about internet that is a different story. 

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57 minutes ago, lateshow said:

Because you're embarrassed about the amount of plates you want to order? 

It's chicken AND spaghetti!!!

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6 minutes ago, Parliament said:

You guys have nothing to complain about if you don't work with truck drivers.

Yes, go on......

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Big month in sales for the company, boss lady sent out this email.

EVERYONE jumped in to help in some form or fashion and TOGETHER we accomplished GREAT things yesterday! So proud to be working with such a PHENOMONIAL TEAM!! 

finominle

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28 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Everyone jumped in to help.

Except for Roy who's in charge of our corporate spell check.

Fuck you, Roy.

Avatar checks out

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On 8/16/2019 at 7:31 AM, Parliament said:

You guys have nothing to complain about if you don't work with truck drivers.

I do.

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On 8/16/2019 at 6:31 AM, Parliament said:

You guys have nothing to complain about if you don't work with truck drivers.

If there's one thing that's certain in life, it's that Surlyites will have something to complain about

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36 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If there's one thing that's certain in life, it's that Surlyites will have something to complain about

NO WE WON'T!!!!!

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On 5/23/2019 at 3:08 PM, msucolt45 said:

Used to live in Lake Charles and every year Cameron Louisiana held a “fur festival” and it was for nutria. God awful beasts, they will show their orange “beaver teeth” and come at you! Very aggressive varmit that needs to be put down!

I’m friends with a girl who won it. Miss Nutra rat circa ‘98-ish. Classic dark hair ice blue eyed sorta-coonass girl. 

You don’t pronounce the -ia unless you leaned about them in a book.  Good lord, where y’all from? 

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5 minutes ago, fattyflattie said:

I’m friends with a girl who won it. Miss Nutra rat circa ‘98-ish. Classic dark hair ice blue eyed sorta-coonass girl. 

You don’t pronounce the -ia unless you leaned about them in a book.  Good lord, where y’all from? 

This post violates the most basic of Surly Rules.

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2 hours ago, CoTex said:

"You do know I have PTSD, right?"

I had an employee tell me she had PTSD from a car accident she had decades ago.  She was uninjured.

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Female co-worker was commiserating with other female co-workers about some contractors the company does business with. She does not approve of some of their practices. She reportedly said "These ninjas think they can get away with anything". The black lady in the group turned her in to HR, chick almost lost her damn job. Oof. Know your audience, sweetie.

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I’m friends with a girl who won it. Miss Nutra rat circa ‘98-ish. Classic dark hair ice blue eyed sorta-coonass girl. 

You don’t pronounce the -ia unless you leaned about them in a book.  Good lord, where y’all from? 

 

Where are the pics?

 

 

Female co-worker was commiserating with other female co-workers about some contractors the company does business with. She does not approve of some of their practices. She reportedly said "These ninjas think they can get away with anything". The black lady in the group turned her in to HR, chick almost lost her damn job. Oof. Know your audience, sweetie.

 

I mean, they are ninjas

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25 minutes ago, elfenix said:

I mean, they are ninjas

I felt like there was some wiggle room but apparently there is not. Ninjas gettin' over on errrbody.

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39 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Female co-worker was commiserating with other female co-workers about some contractors the company does business with. She does not approve of some of their practices. She reportedly said "These ninjas think they can get away with anything". The black lady in the group turned her in to HR, chick almost lost her damn job. Oof. Know your audience, sweetie.

Wait. Who almost got fired? The person who doesn't know what a ninja is?

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39 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Wait. Who almost got fired? The person who doesn't know what a ninja is?

All these ninjas up in hurr need to be farred.

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I’m friends with a girl who won it. Miss Nutra rat circa ‘98-ish. Classic dark hair ice blue eyed sorta-coonass girl. 
You don’t pronounce the -ia unless you leaned about them in a book.  Good lord, where y’all from? 

948ab2482c1f988032121455ae570db3.jpg

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14 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Was the black lady oriental?

I don't know, her last name is "Smith". The offender is Messican. 

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I have one kid. Coworker asked me if my wife and I planned to have another.

I answered, uh, probably not. Maybe.

She said, "You really should. People like us need to have more kids."

Awkward pause while I tried to act busy, followed by "the Mexicans are out-breeding us."

 

This was probably 4 or 5 yrs ago. She retired a few years back.

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"Michael Jackson was actually very talented.  Nobody remembers that.  If he just didn't do all the stuff with the kids and wasn't so weird ... and dead."

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15 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

I have one kid. Coworker asked me if my wife and I planned to have another.

I answered, uh, probably not. Maybe.

She said, "You really should. People like us need to have more kids."

Awkward pause while I tried to act busy, followed by "the Mexicans are out-breeding us."

 

This was probably 4 or 5 yrs ago. She retired a few years back.

I thought she was gonna say "us smart people are being out-breeded."

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Some of the younger members on my team have been incessantly bitching about how “hard” things are post covid-  people working from home and not getting information “instantly”, Zoom audio not always clear, etc.  Oh the horrors!!!!!

Made me want to laugh and tell them about.....

Waiting in line at a bank of pay phones when a conference or trade show let out to call in and get messages.  Then, making return calls from a hotel phone with a calling card.

Pulling off the road to call in an order or check in with the office from a corner pay phone is the rain, heat, or cold.  

Having to use USPS to mail quotes to a customer and then wait for them to mail back a purchase order.

Having a corresponding secretary and a dictaphone to create correspondence.

Keeping track of long distance calls and cost accounting for them on an invoice when the order was urgent and actually required ***gasp**** phone calls to the factory or a vendor when mailed inquiries weren’t fast enough. 

Delivering massive catalogs and manuals by hand or mail to customers and manually updating them with any changes throughout the year(s) 

Thermal fax paper curling and discoloring and still thinking it was groundbreaking new age business technology

Asking for (or vetting to whom you gave) your 800# 

Tri-part message pads and life before post-it notes.

When expedited delivery meant taking a box to the station and putting it on a bus since there was no FedEx or UPS 1-2 day delivery. 

I’m sorry someone didn’t respond to an IM for 20 minutes or there was an echo on your Zoom...... now get off my lawn. 

 

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12 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

Some of the younger members on my team have been incessantly bitching about how “hard” things are post covid-  people working from home and not getting information “instantly”, Zoom audio not always clear, etc.  Oh the horrors!!!!!

Made me want to laugh and tell them about.....

Waiting in line at a bank of pay phones when a conference or trade show let out to call in and get messages.  Then, making return calls from a hotel phone with a calling card.

Pulling off the road to call in an order or check in with the office from a corner pay phone is the rain, heat, or cold.  

Having to use USPS to mail quotes to a customer and then wait for them to mail back a purchase order.

Having a corresponding secretary and a dictaphone to create correspondence.

Keeping track of long distance calls and cost accounting for them on an invoice when the order was urgent and actually required ***gasp**** phone calls to the factory or a vendor when mailed inquiries weren’t fast enough. 

Delivering massive catalogs and manuals by hand or mail to customers and manually updating them with any changes throughout the year(s) 

Thermal fax paper curling and discoloring and still thinking it was groundbreaking new age business technology

Asking for (or vetting to whom you gave) your 800# 

Tri-part message pads and life before post-it notes.

When expedited delivery meant taking a box to the station and putting it on a bus since there was no FedEx or UPS 1-2 day delivery. 

I’m sorry someone didn’t respond to an IM for 20 minutes or there was an echo on your Zoom...... now get off my lawn. 

 

Ain't that the truth...

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On 5/24/2019 at 1:01 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Holy shit. "Nutria Queen" is a real thing.

54ef49971317e.image.jpg

How did I miss this....  Well this hits close to home (literally).  Miss Outdoors is from Dorchester County, MD where the National Outdoor show is held.  That is where is grew up.  This show features muskrat skinning.  Yes, yes it does.  The Outdoor show has a sister show in the Louisiana Fir and Wildlife Festival and that is why you see these two together.

The Miss Outdoors pageant used to have USNA Midshipmen escort the contestants.  I had that "pleasure" my plebe year.  I was a free night away from USNA and I was able to go home and see some friends and I actually dated Miss Outdoors for a little bit after the show.  LOL

We used to call Miss Outdoors "Miss Muskrat"  Back in the day the winner had to wear a muskrat bikini.  

 

 

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13 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

Waiting in line at a bank of pay phones when a conference or trade show let out to call in and get messages.  Then, making return calls from a hotel phone with a calling card.

I crack some of my younger guys up when I tell them in the construction biz we used to issue foremen rolls of dimes for payphone use during the day to get what they needed delivered and report in.

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13 minutes ago, G650 said:

I crack some of my younger guys up when I tell them in the construction biz we used to issue foremen rolls of dimes for payphone use during the day to get what they needed delivered and report in.

how many times did a foreman forget to grab money, and then had to send someone back to get a shitload of dimes?

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2 minutes ago, strangulation! said:

how many times did a foreman forget to grab money, and then had to send someone back to get a shitload of dimes?

mel brooks work GIF

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1 hour ago, G650 said:

I crack some of my younger guys up when I tell them in the construction biz we used to issue foremen rolls of dimes for payphone use during the day to get what they needed delivered and report in.

When conference calls first became popular its a miracle 100’s of Regional Sales Manager’s weren’t murdered by their team - One guy sitting at a desk conducting a call while 5-10 guys are huddled inside phone booths from Albuquerque to Atlanta braving the cold and wind hearing the boss drone on and on about needing to close some deals so he could make his quarterly number. 

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