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Fitlump invaded my Twitter feed

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1 hour ago, American Swindle said:

I think maybe she's fed up with the homeless making themselves at home all over Austin and the overpasses...

You come up with that all on your own?

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Thinking about it, I've been using either a BBS or message board for close to 30 years, I've only seen a Fitlump type personality 3 times over the years. It takes a rare breed to combine delusions of grandeur, attention seeking, compulsive lying, shamelessness and the willingness to market yourself online in the face of massive rejection over and over.

 

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1 hour ago, American Swindle said:

I think maybe she's fed up with the homeless making themselves at home all over Austin and the overpasses...

giphy.gif?cid=19f5b51ac0e010e74a2eec1672

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On 9/24/2019 at 2:37 PM, F250 said:

She has the potential to be the next Billy Mitchell. I read that the director of King of Kong said they had to heavily edit Billy Mitchell because his shitty personality was so over the top that he seemed like a made up character. Fitlump would definitely fall into that category.

 

billy-mitchell-tie.jpg

Funny - I had assumed that King of Kong was selectively edited to make him look like more of an asshole than he really was. I think I'd enjoy a glimpse into his unredacted assholery. 

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3 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Wasn't American Swindle the dude trying to sell orange garbage cans as official Longhorn keg coolers or some shit?

Rubbermaid had a line of collegiate cans and we had some so at the time I solicited them on shaggy 

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Rubbermaid had a line of collegiate cans and we had some so at the time I solicited them on shaggy 

Sounds like something McKenzie Kelly would say. Fuck off and let your gay rich husband suck your forehead so he’ll stay satisfied. But please keep failing the way you do, it’s too fun to watch for it to end quickly.

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On 9/24/2019 at 2:48 PM, F250 said:

Thinking about it, I've been using either a BBS or message board for close to 30 years, I've only seen a Fitlump type personality 3 times over the years. It takes a rare breed to combine delusions of grandeur, attention seeking, compulsive lying, shamelessness and the willingness to market yourself online in the face of massive rejection over and over.

 

See aggy 101

If you want to astronomically add to your head count.

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21 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

See aggy 101

If you want to astronomically add to your head count.

Sadly, I live in a section of the hill country that is an aggy enclave. I am way too familiar with those nitwits.

When my oldest was in middle school, I was at a school event and the middle school band played at the event and the first song that they played was the aggy war hymn and played to "whoop!" coming from the crowd of parents. Looking around the room I realized the majority of the parents in the room were aggy, I started having flashbacks of different dads in aggy shirts and hats wearing cargo shorts and Crocs and it hit me that I was surrounded by a sea of aggy.

I mentioned it to another dad who is a Texas-Ex and he said "oh yeah, they even call freshmen orientation at the high school 'fish camp'."

giphy.webp

 

 

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4 minutes ago, F250 said:

Sadly, I live in a section of the hill country that is an aggy enclave. I am way too familiar with those nitwits.

When my oldest was in middle school, I was at a school event and the middle school band played at the event and the first song that they played was the aggy war hymn and played to "whoop!" coming from the crowd of parents. Looking around the room I realized the majority of the parents in the room were aggy, I started having flashbacks of different dads in aggy shirts and hats wearing cargo shorts and Crocs and it hit me that I was surrounded by a sea of aggy.

I mentioned it to another dad who is a Texas-Ex and he said "oh yeah, they even call freshmen orientation at the high school 'fish camp'."

giphy.webp

 

 

Goldammitt, may God give you strength. I got dizzy, angry, and nauseous just reading that.

My prayers...you haz them brother.

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On 9/28/2019 at 3:05 AM, MissingInAction said:

Get me sunoden trashcans.. boooyyy

Haven't posted a drunken gem like that in a long time. Good to see I still got it..... alcoholism

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On 10/1/2019 at 9:21 PM, F250 said:

Sadly, I live in a section of the hill country that is an aggy enclave. I am way too familiar with those nitwits.

When my oldest was in middle school, I was at a school event and the middle school band played at the event and the first song that they played was the aggy war hymn and played to "whoop!" coming from the crowd of parents. Looking around the room I realized the majority of the parents in the room were aggy, I started having flashbacks of different dads in aggy shirts and hats wearing cargo shorts and Crocs and it hit me that I was surrounded by a sea of aggy.

I mentioned it to another dad who is a Texas-Ex and he said "oh yeah, they even call freshmen orientation at the high school 'fish camp'."

I was about to ask why you didn't check for Aggy before you moved there, then I remembered I first got to know True Aggy by moving smack dab to the middle of College Fucking Station.

Time spent on recon is never wasted, as we both have sadly learned.

Move to Mexico. Everything will get better, immediately.

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1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

I was about to ask why you didn't check for Aggy before you moved there, then I remembered I first got to know True Aggy by moving smack dab to the middle of College Fucking Station.

Time spent on recon is never wasted, as we both have sadly learned.

Move to Mexico. Everything will get better, immediately.

I don't know if Mexico is a safe space.

GlobalHeader.jpg

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7 hours ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Lucky the pyramid didn't catch fire and collapse with that many aggy nearby.

loop oh snap GIF

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On 10/4/2019 at 4:51 PM, UTCzech III said:

OK, which one of you is this?

 

 

 

Seems to be missing now.

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Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and indoor
A Place at Home - North AustinLike Page
11 hrs · 

I’d like to welcome A Place at Home, North Austin’s Director of Operations, Mackenzie Kelly (Osborne)! Mackenzie’s first day was on Monday 10/7 and she’s already had an immediate positive impact on the business.
Mackenzie clearly possesses the experience, knowledge and industry relationships required to be successful in this role, but as the recipient of the peer nominated, “AGE of Central Texas, Joyce Luack Legacy Award”, Mackenzie has earned something far more valuable. She’s earned the respect of her peers within the industry! I’m truly excited to have you joining my team!


Guaranteed the bitch wrote that herself.

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5 hours ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Those poor old folks. Haven't they been thru enough? 

My wife used to work in gerontology. Was in social work grad school at UT way back when (the Master's in Planning and Administration from UT SSW is just about the goldest of gold standards in social work), and worked with a lot of the eldercare agencies in Austin. Quite a few well meaning people in the industry... but a hell of a lot of soul-less sharks, too. I would be very, very surprised if professionally The Lump is one of the former, not the latter.

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1 hour ago, RPM said:

So how long before an elder abuse case pops up?

A person needs to be aware that the elderly are there in order to abuse them.

I see Fitlump as more of an "ignore em I got tweets to make" type of caregiver.

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25 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

A person needs to be aware that the elderly are there in order to abuse them.

I see Fitlump as more of an "ignore em I got tweets to make" type of caregiver.

That was my point. Maybe I should have said negligence.I can see bedsores and overflowing bedpans on the horizon. 

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Have y'all ever visited an old folks' home?  All the residents accuse the staff of stealing stuff, but no one does anything because grandma's just getting senile. 

Lumpy's just there to steal stuff, especially prescription drugs.

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9 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Have y'all ever visited an old folks' home?  All the residents accuse the staff of stealing stuff, but no one does anything because grandma's just getting senile. 

Lumpy's just there to steal stuff, especially prescription drugs.

I'm pretty sure she works for "care at home" services, where it's even worse. Everybody hears about abuse in facilities and agrees it's awful (even if they don't do anything to fix it), but with the at-home services, a lot of the clientele are elderly folk who nobody likes (which is why they have to pay for services that might otherwise be performed by family), and so when they get ripped off, they literally have no one to tell.

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3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

My wife used to work in gerontology. Was in social work grad school at UT way back when (the Master's in Planning and Administration from UT SSW is just about the goldest of gold standards in social work), and worked with a lot of the eldercare agencies in Austin. Quite a few well meaning people in the industry... but a hell of a lot of soul-less sharks, too. I would be very, very surprised if professionally The Lump is one of the former, not the latter.

This. Especially after she basically stole a car from her own grandmother. 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, RPM said:

I can see bedsores and overflowing bedpans on the horizon. 

Well sure, RPM, that fate will be inevitable if you don't start making friends.

Edited by Braff Zacklin

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9 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Well sure, RPM, that fate will be inevitable if you don't start making friends.

That won't be a problem for me. I don't intend to live that long. Actually, I didn't intend to live this long.

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43 minutes ago, SizzleChest said:

EExtiJLXoAM80UU.jpg

Avatar checks out. Which gives me an idea. We need Roman on the inside. Let's get him admitted into fitlumps care. 

He can fulfill his quest for both tacos while being our eyes and ears. 

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