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Lame joke thread

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14 hours ago, chikin23 said:

From my 8 year old:

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't make it home.

Tell him he was adopted. 

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A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.

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From my dad. . .

"I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’


So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.


‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.


Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.


‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.


She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.


I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.


She fainted.” 

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From my 8 year old:

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't make it home.

He will be one of the leaders for this website once this current generation dies off

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On 5/8/2020 at 4:52 PM, chikin23 said:

From my 8 year old:

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't make it home.

Lulz.  My dumb ass got a little tipsy and told this joke last week at our extended family Google Hangout/Trivia/reunion.  I then remembered that my SIL works for CPS as a child placement agent.

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