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Got my 23andme results. Nothing really unexpected other than having a French last name and no French ancestry...even though my great x 3 grandfather came from the Lorraine Valley. There was 12% unspecified European DNA block that they didn’t have enough participant data to place yet so odds are it’s in that pool.

Found a ton of German relatives in Monterrey, Mexico. 20 or so 3rd cousins who had taken the DNA test. Creeping on Facebook, it appears all the ones there are rich AF while all the ones that moved to the US are poor AF. Interesting dynamic.

Overall, nothing unexpected but I was hoping to find something about that side of the family from France but when you’re the only son of an only son going back to that guy, there’s not going to be a ton of relatives out there.

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I did mine last year and I was surprised by the results.  I expected France and Poland to account for about 80% of my DNA, but it was much more widespread throughout Europe and the UK.  My mother's side is from Louisiana so I expected some African DNA to show up but there was none.  And I have some Native American DNA that was unexpected.  About 2X more than Elizabeth Warren.  

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I’m curious about unexpected or unintended results, mostly involving paternity issues, and the ensuing fallout that has for people. For instance:
-Finding out your father is not your biological father (mom cheated, etc)
-Finding other evidence of infidelity within the family tree
-Tracking down sperm donors who were anonymous at the time
-Adopted kids tracking down biological parents who wanted no contact
-Children of rape victims being able to discover their father
-Realizing that Antonio Cromartie actually has 37 kids

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
On 1/12/2019 at 8:10 AM, CooterBrown said:

Got my 23andme results. Nothing really unexpected other than having a French last name and no French ancestry...even though my great x 3 grandfather came from the Lorraine Valley. There was 12% unspecified European DNA block that they didn’t have enough participant data to place yet so odds are it’s in that pool.

Found a ton of German relatives in Monterrey, Mexico. 20 or so 3rd cousins who had taken the DNA test. Creeping on Facebook, it appears all the ones there are rich AF while all the ones that moved to the US are poor AF. Interesting dynamic.

Overall, nothing unexpected but I was hoping to find something about that side of the family from France but when you’re the only son of an only son going back to that guy, there’s not going to be a ton of relatives out there.

Any of those in Monterrey named Lehman?

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My cousin got a call out of the blue a few weeks ago from someone claiming to be her brother. Her mom fessed up to having a baby out of wedlock when she was 14 that she gave up for adoption. Nobody needs that kind of shit. I don’t much like the family I know about, but I’m used to them. The government can have my DNA when they come pry it out of my cold dead cells.

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My cousin got a call out of the blue a few weeks ago from someone claiming to be her brother. Her mom fessed up to having a baby out of wedlock when she was 14 that she gave up for adoption. Nobody needs that kind of shit. I don’t much like the family I know about, but I’m used to them. The government can have my DNA when they come pry it out of my cold dead cells.

This. Got one for Christmas. Threw it in the trash. I’m about to do the same thing with the Alexa the Mrs. got for Christmas.
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https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/arizona/2019/02/19/arizona-bill-would-create-massive-statewide-dna-database/2873930002/

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Arizona could soon be one of the first states to maintain a massive statewide DNA database. 

And if the proposed legislation passes, many people — from parent school volunteers and teachers to real estate agents and foster parents — will have no choice but to give up their DNA. 

Under Senate Bill 1475, which Sen. David Livingston, R-Peoria, introduced, DNA must be collected from anyone who has to be fingerprinted by the state for a job, to volunteer in certain positions or for a myriad of other reasons.

The bill would even authorize the medical examiner's office in each county to take DNA from any bodies that come into their possession. 

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The Department of Public Safety would maintain the collected DNA alongside the person's name, Social Security number, date of birth and last known address. 

Any DNA in the database could be accessed and used by law enforcement in a criminal investigation. It could also be shared with other government agencies across the country for licensing, death registration, to identify a missing person or to determine someone's real name.

It could also be provided to someone conducting "legitimate research." 

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A $250 fee could be collected from a person who submits biological samples, according to the bill. It's not clear who would foot the cost for the dead.

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"It doesn’t seem like solving crimes is a big priority here," Kaye said. "It’s not focusing on the people most likely to be linked to crimes, it’s just spreading the net more broadly."

There are questions about whether certain requirements of the database are even legal in the first place, Kaye said.

A federal law known as the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act bars employers from using DNA testing as a condition of employment. 

 

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My husband knew that is mom had a previous marriage.  His two older siblings were from that marriage, but his father treated all four kids (the 2 from the previous marriage and the 2 from his marriage to my husband's mom) like they were his and life went on just fine.   His mother died a few years ago.  

Now, my husband's sister decided late in life that she needed closure about her birth father and did the 23andMe thing.  Of course, there other half siblings out there and more drama and unknown family twists that anyone knew.  My husband told her that it was her quest not his, that he didn't need to know anything else.  He had his family.  She nevertheless chooses to tell him about her findings ("here is this information that you did not want...do with it what you will")  She tells his brother too.  It is now a big family drama, with most doing all they can to keep the new information from my husband's father who is old and not well.  There is some chance he finds out and it will not be good.

The whole family is fighting and not happy about any of this.  It's all caused by the sister's selfish desire to not only find out this information but to share it with people who expressly said they did not want it.  The next shoe will be when the "new" family reaches out to my husband's family because his sister gave them all the information about her side of the family.

These things suck.

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On 1/12/2019 at 4:31 PM, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

How many have 'found'  unexpected half siblings or other unknown relatives?  I know a couple of people that learned they have half siblings from DNA testing.

I thought I had shared this story somewhere on here. Maybe it was the other site.

 

I've always known I was adopted. I figured I was some sort of Mediterranean, I have fairly dark skin that tans easily, dark hair, brown eyes.

Wife got us 23andme kits for Christmas 2017. In January 2018, we finally spit in the tube and sent it in (you don't realize how much saliva it takes until you go the required time without eating or drinking and then have to try and fill up a tube. Took a few weeks, they had to reprocess the samples etc. but we finally go the results. First off.. I'm purely northern European, mosly Irish/Scottish/English. Aint no lick of greek or italian in me. =(

Then - it found my birth grandma. The percentages matched up so I found her on facebook, did a bunch of snooping and contacted her. At first, she was like, that's impossible we live in Michigan and have never been in your part of the country. Then she talked to one of her grand kids who is a "scientist" and they explained it all to her. Based on the DNA, we knew she was my paternal grandmother so she had to talk to the 2 (i think) living sons and ask if they had sex around X year with someone that may have run down this way. And when it wasn't them, we figured out it was the son that died a few years ago. He didn't have a real great life - so that's exciting. Since then.. I've talked to my adopted parents about it, they're cool. I've talked off and on with grandma on the phone. Various relatives have done 23andme and Ancestry (I later did Ancestry) and I match up with all of them at the expected percentages.

 

It's... different. I wasn't really expecting to find anything when we did it other than my ancestral home. Certainly not grandma. I need to go up to Michigan to visit her some day because an 85 year old woman isn't going to live forever. And I'd like to find my maternal side but that's proving a bit more difficult and I'm sure mom is going to be as much fun as dad.

Edited by relapse98
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A friend of ours, her and her brother are both adopted. The brother did one of the DNA tests and found his mom and sisters who lived near him when he was growing up in Dallas - it's possible he ran into them around town. Our friend, his adopted sister, is probably never going to do it. She just doesn't want to open that can of worms because there is no getting them back in the can once its open. Once you do the test and share the result or find a relative - you can't go backwards.

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For those of y'all bored/uninterested in the race/ethnicity results, you can download your raw DNA from ancestry, 23andme, and others. With the raw DNA, you can upload it to other sites. For example, promethease.com is pretty incredible. It shows you how your DNA fits in with all of the genetic and medical research that has been conducted. So it'll tell you what genes are  (or are not) associated with particular diseases, conditions, etc. I just did this for my wife and found out she's a carrier for cystic fibrosis. Luckily I'm not, but now we know 50% of our children might be and to be aware of this. It's a treasure-trove of personalized health, personality, and medical information that could be very useful. All for $12. It can be a bit depressing though.

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On 1/13/2019 at 9:12 AM, wild_turkey said:

I’m curious about unexpected or unintended results, mostly involving paternity issues, and the ensuing fallout that has for people. For instance:
-Finding out your father is not your biological father (mom cheated, etc)
-Finding other evidence of infidelity within the family tree
-Tracking down sperm donors who were anonymous at the time
-Adopted kids tracking down biological parents who wanted no contact
-Children of rape victims being able to discover their father
-Realizing that Antonio Cromartie actually has 37 kids

A few years ago did ancestry DNA for me, my dad, and my mom. When the results came in, I looked around, found how some of the closest matches were related, then moved on to other things like promethease and GEDMatch. For Christmas this year, I decided to do FTDNA's YDNA test because it can trace your paternal lineage back tens of thousands of years and tell you how your paternal ancestors likely migrated and show you matches. Pretty interesting stuff, IMO. So I did that and was surprised to find that most of my YDNA matches were in Sweeden and Norway. Based on the data they provide, they can be 95-99% certain that I shared a common paternal ancestor with these people in the past 8 or so generations. Well, that was quite surprising because I had already used Ancestry to create an extensive tree that traces my paternal ancestry back over a dozen generations to Ireland. These results got me thinking: I'd never used my Ancestry DNA match results to confirm all 4 of my grandparents. In fact, I had casually noticed that I had no matches with my same last name, but then brushed it aside. After doing some intensive research on some of my closest matches and triangulating their trees, I figured out that my paternal grandfather is not my paternal grandfather. Instead, it is one of two brothers who are both dead. The past month or so I've been working to get in touch with descendants of these 2 brothers to see if I can figure out which one was my grandfather, but have been pretty cautious in doing so, as many people likely feel the same as many posters above, who think that it is a lot of trouble and ripe for drama.

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On 1/12/2019 at 8:10 AM, CooterBrown said:

Got my 23andme results. Nothing really unexpected other than having a French last name and no French ancestry...even though my great x 3 grandfather came from the Lorraine Valley. There was 12% unspecified European DNA block that they didn’t have enough participant data to place yet so odds are it’s in that pool.

Found a ton of German relatives in Monterrey, Mexico. 20 or so 3rd cousins who had taken the DNA test. Creeping on Facebook, it appears all the ones there are rich AF while all the ones that moved to the US are poor AF. Interesting dynamic.

Overall, nothing unexpected but I was hoping to find something about that side of the family from France but when you’re the only son of an only son going back to that guy, there’s not going to be a ton of relatives out there.

The "nationality" part of the DNA tests is pretty cartoonish. I try to 'splain: your Lorraine ancestors may have lived in that spot for thousands of years, speaking a different language every few hundred years, but staying the same general mix of DNA for most of that time. Then in the 1600s, some Duke lost a Texas Hold Em Poker game to the King of France, so they've been "French" ever since. Except for when they were German. Then they were French again. Thing is, whatever the name, you're probably closely related to everybody within 100 miles of that spot, no matter the current country, and less so to somebody from the other end of France or Germany.

By happenstance, at UT there was a cool little book of Lorraine dialect (from the French side) which has most likely been extinct since the 1950s. Sounded like a German choking to death on popcorn while begging for help in French. I never learned much about the Lorraine (Lothringen) German dialect, but if it's like nearby Alsatian, it sounds like a German who drank a bottle of Nyquil and then tried to win a bet by not using consonants.

The recent (Medieval to now) history of Lorraine is that when Charlemagne split up his empire, his son Lothar got the middle chunk that the other two brothers (as "French" and "Germans") have been kicking like a soccer ball ever since. And it looks kinda like North Carolina.

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Then - it found my birth grandma. The percentages matched up so I found her on facebook, did a bunch of snooping and contacted her. At first, she was like, that's impossible we live in Michigan and have never been in your part of the country. Then she talked to one of her grand kids who is a "scientist" and they explained it all to her. Based on the DNA, we knew she was my paternal grandmother so she had to talk to the 2 (i think) living sons and ask if they had sex around X year with someone that may have run down this way. And when it wasn't them, we figured out it was the son that died a few years ago. He didn't have a real great life - so that's exciting.


Not trying to stir up shit with you, but I’m curious if you considered that your maternal grandmother wouldn’t want to be contacted with this info. I understand you wanting to know more about your background, but opening that box could permanently change others’ lives for the worse.

It seems like the natural inclination of people who do DNA tests through services like Ancestry is to contact their living relatives. If those people have also submitted DNA to the service then I guess they’ve opened themselves up to this sort of thing and they are fair game. The problem is that a lot of other people who never participated and never wanted to know about lost relatives could be collateral damage when certain info comes to light.
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1 minute ago, wild_turkey said:

Not trying to stir up shit with you, but I’m curious if you considered that your maternal grandmother wouldn’t want to be contacted with this info. I understand you wanting to know more about your background, but opening that box could permanently change others’ lives for the worse.

I did. Every message I've ever sent someone on Ancestry or 23andme (or through facebook/other after finding the relation through the other sites) has started with something along the lines of "I'm sure this is a suprise. I had the choice to contact your or not, I took that choice from you". Believe me, I hemmed and hawed over what to do and in the end said F it - I can't help how others react to information.

We're gonna have all sort of fun in the coming decades with people who were born through sperm donors or who the mom wasn't sure who the daddy was - finding out who the real daddy is.

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I had the choice to contact your or not, I took that choice from you". Believe me, I hemmed and hawed over what to do and in the end said F it - I can't help how others react to information.


It just seems selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years. Suppose your father had been one of her 2 living sons and suppose he had a wife and kids. That news could break up a marriage and destroy a family. And for what purpose?

Obviously that didn’t happen in your case, but it could have and it certainly does in other cases.
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6 minutes ago, HouTex said:

I pretty sure I recall when I did the 23andme test I had the choice to keep my information confidential to prevent relatives with DNA matches from potentially contacting me. 

You do. And then what do you get? Their crappy ancestry information that has proven to be a little suspect. And maybe the medical info.

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22 minutes ago, wild_turkey said:

It just seems selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years. Suppose your father had been one of her 2 living sons and suppose he had a wife and kids. That news could break up a marriage and destroy a family.

Sure. There are 2 choices. Once you've hit 'share info' on 23andme/ancestry, and found a link.

1) Keep the information to yourself. Once you've hit that button, they can also see that they are linked to you. It's a 2 way street. I don't think there is a way to see a connection without the other side seeing it.

2) Contact them.

I chose door #2. Everything you're saying, my wife and I wrestled with. I sleep well with my choices and would have, no matter the consequence. I don't get to choose how someone else handles information.

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And for what purpose?

You want to know how I know you aren't adopted?

 

Edit: and with the crap about "selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years". You know what I didn't get to choose? To be adopted. So forgive me if I care a tad bit less about the possible outcome.

Edited by relapse98
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Well I wasn't looking for long lost relatives or to be potentially later contacted by possible unknown half siblings or cousins--for many of the reasons stated in the above several posts.  I was looking for the medical information and for more detail on my ancestry.  For me, the results were worth it.

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1 hour ago, relapse98 said:

Sure. There are 2 choices. Once you've hit 'share info' on 23andme/ancestry, and found a link.

1) Keep the information to yourself. Once you've hit that button, they can also see that they are linked to you. It's a 2 way street. I don't think there is a way to see a connection without the other side seeing it.

2) Contact them.

I chose door #2. Everything you're saying, my wife and I wrestled with. I sleep well with my choices and would have, no matter the consequence. I don't get to choose how someone else handles information.

You want to know how I know you aren't adopted?

 

Edit: and with the crap about "selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years". You know what I didn't get to choose? To be adopted. So forgive me if I care a tad bit less about the possible outcome.

I wasn't adopted, but I totally understand. If you had "ruined" a living son's marriage, I would not say it'd be your fault. It'd be the father/husband's fault, or mother's... depending on how all of it came about. I think any person has a right to be curious about their biological family and if that info is freely available online, then that's part of the world we live in and others need to accept that. After making the contact, if they don't want to have further communication, then so be it, but there is a treasure trove of information that can come from knowing your biological family history and I think you're right for not feeling remorseful about seeking it out.

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It just seems selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years. Suppose your father had been one of her 2 living sons and suppose he had a wife and kids. That news could break up a marriage and destroy a family. And for what purpose?

It's absolutely selfish.   "I don't care what they do with the information"  = "I don''t care if I hurt people so long as I accomplish what I wanted for myself".

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another cold case solved using genealogical DNA test.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/colorado-man-arrested-girls-1973-killing-california-184706215.html

not a bad purpose for these tests.  

i imagine everybody that has got away for decades with killing somebody like this is nervous as hell.

Edited by po elvis
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17 hours ago, DFWTexEx said:

It's absolutely selfish.   "I don't care what they do with the information"  = "I don''t care if I hurt people so long as I accomplish what I wanted for myself".

I don't believe it's selfish when relapse's maternal grandmother checked the box to allow her information to be discovered.  If people are concerned about the consequences of unknown offspring/relatives popping up they don't have to share their DNA.  In fact, it's reasonable to assume they want blood relatives to come forward.  

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1 hour ago, po elvis said:

another cold case solved using genealogical DNA test.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/colorado-man-arrested-girls-1973-killing-california-184706215.html

not a bad purpose for these tests.  

i imagine everybody that has got away for decades with killing somebody like this is nervous as hell.

Meh - If they want to impress me with these DNA findings then figure out who was JT Ripper.

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21 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

 


It just seems selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years. Suppose your father had been one of her 2 living sons and suppose he had a wife and kids. That news could break up a marriage and destroy a family. And for what purpose?

Obviously that didn’t happen in your case, but it could have and it certainly does in other cases.

 

You, on the other hand, don't sound selfish at all.  Furthermore, you come across as secure and not nervous about choices you or your family has made.  Just because people choose to forget about choices they made and don't want to be bothered with it doesn't mean they didn't make that choice.  Especially if a human being is the result of it.  If a choice resulted in a child, that happened, that person exists and whoever is "choosing" to pretend it didn't, imo, is the selfish one.  The kids and families can all learn that choices matter, and you choose whether to view it positively or negatively.    

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18 hours ago, DFWTexEx said:

It's absolutely selfish.   "I don't care what they do with the information"  = "I don''t care if I hurt people so long as I accomplish what I wanted for myself".

While i disagree, i think it is important that the contacting party do it discretely and not publicly.  The contacted should have say and also make the choice as to  if, who, when and how this will affect others.   

Edited by RollLeft
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It just seems selfish to surprise people with information they may not want after all these years. Suppose your father had been one of her 2 living sons and suppose he had a wife and kids. That news could break up a marriage and destroy a family. And for what purpose?

 

Obviously it's selfish because it's based on self-interest. But it's also absolutely not wrong.

 

None of us chose to be born. However, the vast majority of births were because a man and woman chose to have sex. Once you make that decision and a human being results then tough shit if that human someday wants to know more about their personal and genetic history. The child didn't force you to get your dick wet.

 

There are of course rare cases where the pregnancy was due to rape or where the revelation could carry a significant risk of abuse or violence. But that still doesn't make it wrong for a child to seek out their history.

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I can say with 100% certainty that I don’t have any illegitimate children in this world and I’ve also never submitted DNA to one of these services. About the only way this could affect me is if a direct family member of mine or my wife submitted a sample and that went on to reveal one of our parents had a secret we never knew about. Highly unlikely but technically possible for anyone I suppose.

My bigger issue is that these services, while intended to be used for positive reasons, could have unintended negative consequences for society. There are undoubtedly cases where people are contacted by unknown family members and that creates major problems for families.

Sure, you can point out that the person who checked a box saying they are ok being contacted is fair game. What about their family members who never participated but also get to deal with the fallout?

You can argue that the parents who put a child up for adoption deserve to be accountable for bringing a child into the world years ago. Maybe so, but what about their now families who never knew? What if those otherwise happy families are broken apart by this news? Should everyone be subjected to the emotional burden of one person’s secret past?

If someone cheats on their spouse, should they confess to absolve their guilt if that means creating emotional distress for the spouse? Or should they live with that guilt and let the naive spouse keep living a happy lie?

You could say the same thing about unintended consequences for a lot of technological advancements. I know people who love to jump feet first into every new thing as soon as they can. Google and Amazon want to sell a microphone to put in their house - they’ll buy one for each room. 23andme wants a DNA sample - they’ll get one for themself and their loved ones as gifts. If Google announced a microchip brain implant to help search the web, they’d be first in line.

I’m just more skeptical about these types of things. Maybe it isn’t always a net positive.

I don’t know the answer, but it seems there is an ethical dilemma when people are making choices that could be detrimental to the lives of strangers.

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On 2/20/2019 at 3:06 PM, HouTex said:

Well I wasn't looking for long lost relatives or to be potentially later contacted by possible unknown half siblings or cousins--for many of the reasons stated in the above several posts.  I was looking for the medical information and for more detail on my ancestry.  For me, the results were worth it.

We tried contacting Mrs. Brat’s half sister through their cousin over two years ago, but the lady has never responded. Must’ve been too much of a shock for her, or maybe she being a Jehovah’s Witness brings the crazy factor into the situation. Mrs. Brat is a Roman Catholic.

Edited by Armybrat
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  • 3 months later...

There's thousands of DNA threads on here but I'll update this one since I've posted on it before.

I had a 2nd cousin reply to me on Ancestry, she was VERY open with information. Her family is the one my bio mom stayed with when she was pregnant. This lady knew the church and preacher my adopted parents were friends with.. gave me the name and everything so she is 100% spot on.

Based on data from her, I think found a findagrave page with my grandmother's info on it and it had her entire family tree including my mother, her brothers, their families and my half brother. From that, I've now found on facebook and contacted an aunt, cousins and half brother and we are waiting on them to process and reply. And since my second cousin lost contact with them, I can also put her in touch with them and she can vouch for me (although DNA is 100% vouch so I need some of them to do it).

 

Can o worms, baby. Can o worms.

 

And I'm sure the story with my mom is just going to be all roses and nothing tragic at all like my father - yeah right.

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So far, no response. I've msged all the people I can find and included a fairly detailed story. I'm letting my second cousin work her angles for a bit - I mean, they know she is related to them so maybe they'll respond to her. Always fun to just pop up with "Hi, you probably don't know I exist, but I'm related to you. Suprise!" Eventually one of them will come around. I know my half brother's wife saw my first msg to her, according to FB msger. Eventually I'll start dialing some of the numbers I believe belong to my mother/step father/half brother. But that's going to be after a long wait.

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