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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook


Vic Mackey

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48 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:


Sounds like those weekends need: tee times, fishing poles, or another convenient excuse. 

I conveniently go fishing whenever either of my girls has a birthday party to attend on the weekends.  But this was her actual birthday sleepover.  I'm an asshole, but there's no way I'm bailing on that.  I had to setup the tent, rig the A/V setup, deliver the pizza, serve up dessert, run the photobooth, etc.  A 'guy' plays golf during his daughter's Taylor Swift birthday party.  A Man stays home and helps.  Bonus was one of the girls saying, "And Taylor said we need to grow up and vote for women's rights...whatever that means."  Her music makes my teeth itch but she brought great joy to a birthday sleepover and if she can boost young female morale, even better.  But holy shit, I'm tired.

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Yeah, I learned my lesson.  Birthday sleepovers only.  Otherwise, the hell with that...I'm out.  At least in the old days, they used to just taunt one another until one of them developed a mental disorder.  Now, it's just one youtube emulation after another.  

My daughter has a legit skin issue where most soaps irritate her and she has actually been hospitalized because of the inflamation/irritation.  So to take the stigma off of it, my wonderful wife made one of their three craft stations a 'soap-making' station.  So they had the basic ingredients and could then add herbs or lemon zest or botanicals and put them into molds of cool shapes like stars or diamonds or whatever.  Kinda cool, I thought.  Made my daughter less self-conscious about her skin.  So of course one of the little shitheads has to whine about how "why do we have to make soap instead of buying it from the store to make Loboette feel good about her weird rash?"  And honestly, part of me was hoping they'd all put their newly made soaps into pillowcases and beat the girl in the middle of the night, a la Private Pyle.  But instead we had cupcakes.  

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2 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

Toilet paper is not flushed in Mexico. Every bathroom has a trash can for TP. My GF refuses to flush TP here in Austin.

You do you, but smelling shit in my bathroom at all times would be enough for her to not be my girlfriend anymore.

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25 minutes ago, Okie State said:

You do you, but smelling shit in my bathroom at all times would be enough for her to not be my girlfriend anymore.

We have separate bathrooms. Despite the fact she has a trash can full of shitty TP, she's a germaphobe and cleans her bathroom 2-3 times a week. 

I clean my bathroom only after the piles of trash/clothes turn sentient and try to ingest my feet.

And Mexican TP cans usually have a cover, so they don't really smell unless you leave it open.

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14 minutes ago, Hate said:

If you get out of the resort towns in Mexico, you’ll find what Rage described and it surprisingly doesn’t stink. 

First run in with this was stateside when I was in Cub Scouts  Our Pack leader also had an older kid in Boy Scouts and their troop was doing some exchange with scouts from Belize and so had a couple of however many boys were there staying at their house for like 2 weeks.  I'm there for a den meeting remember walking in the bathroom, it stinking like somebody died going out letting Pack Leader know and him just saying, "uh yes aware, they don't flush toilet paper in Belize and they are not breaking that habit in two weeks...we will get the trash taken out"

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Be me. Sheltered anglo 17 year old male working his first job after school at H-E-B in small town Texas. As a bagger, I’m told I have to go clean bathrooms right before close at 2300.

I go yelling for my manager to ask why there’s shitty toilet paper in the wide open metal trash can next to the toilet. Big culture shock at that moment.

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2 hours ago, MAUFRAIS said:

My little brother was wiping his ass and putting the paper in the trash in Austin in 1992 and we called him a fuckin’ weirdo and said don’t do that anymore but I guess he was just worldly.

I wouldn't call Mexico's stone age waste management technology "worldy" unless you mean "3rd worldly"

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7 hours ago, ztejas said:

A lot of Mexicans do that in America. It's bizarre but understandable I guess. 

They do it here in Angola and I know they do it in Brazil. Weird but I guess flushing it fucks up their pipes... I can honestly say I try to get in the habit of shit, shower and shave when I am here because I just can't leave shitty toilet paper in the little garbage can by the toilet. Too weird  

 

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23 hours ago, YGIFS said:

^

This hits close to home.  My oldest had a Taylor Swift-themed sleepover birthday party last night.  They wanted to listen to the new album so i downloaded it, put up speakers and a disco ball and light show and decorations and photo booth and all that.  And figured, "It's a full-length album so 75 minutes from now, they'll be danced out and want to get to bed and I can still take everything down and pack it up before I hit the hay."  

Fucking thing is 31 tracks.  That's not a record, that's a fucking boxed set.  I tried to stay up once in junior high and listen to Physical Graffiti all the way through and didn't make it and I wasn't even dancing.  What the shit, Taylor?  Put a fucking parental warning label on there, "NOTICE TO PARENTS:  THIS ALBUM CONTAINS EXPLICITLY EXTENSIVE DURATIONS!"  They didn't go to bed until freakin 11:00p.  Good times, good times.  

You had a sleepover where all the kids were in bed by 11? That's a big fucking win right there

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13 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

We have separate bathrooms. Despite the fact she has a trash can full of shitty TP, she's a germaphobe and cleans her bathroom 2-3 times a week. 

I clean my bathroom only after the piles of trash/clothes turn sentient and try to ingest my feet.

And Mexican TP cans usually have a cover, so they don't really smell unless you leave it open.

About $300 from Home Depot. Warms the seat, cleanses, warm air blower to dry.  Minimal use of Tp just to make sure. No walking around with small bits of fecal matter in Tp on your ass. Greatness.

image.png.6bfebe398797b18744136f80410845ab.png 

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5 hours ago, nineliveslost said:

They do it here in Angola and I know they do it in Brazil. Weird but I guess flushing it fucks up their pipes... I can honestly say I try to get in the habit of shit, shower and shave when I am here because I just can't leave shitty toilet paper in the little garbage can by the toilet. Too weird  

 

you live in Angola?

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1 hour ago, futureman said:

you live in Angola?

Not really.

Every other month in Angola(2 weeks). Every other month several sites in the States then every quarter Scotland and Norway (1 week). 2 times a year in Brazil (1 week). 2 times Houston (corp) (1 week). On deck Batam and Perth (2 weeks). They are pushing 2024 , but I am so burned out I say fuck it. Trying to stay married. 

it is what it is. . . 

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20 minutes ago, nineliveslost said:

Not really.

Every other month in Angola(2 weeks). Every other month several sites in the States then every quarter Scotland and Norway (1 week). 2 times a year in Brazil (1 week). 2 times Houston (corp) (1 week). On deck Batam and Perth (2 weeks). They are pushing 2024 , but I am so burned out I say fuck it. Trying to stay married. 

it is what it is. . . 

Chevron, Halliburton, or Schlumberger

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2 hours ago, Lidig8r said:

About $300 from Home Depot. Warms the seat, cleanses, warm air blower to dry.  Minimal use of Tp just to make sure. No walking around with small bits of fecal matter in Tp on your ass. Greatness.

image.png.6bfebe398797b18744136f80410845ab.png 

 

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Not really.
Every other month in Angola(2 weeks). Every other month several sites in the States then every quarter Scotland and Norway (1 week). 2 times a year in Brazil (1 week). 2 times Houston (corp) (1 week). On deck Batam and Perth (2 weeks). They are pushing 2024 , but I am so burned out I say fuck it. Trying to stay married. 
it is what it is. . . 

Better hope there’s a 10th life.
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Just now, Surly Bevo said:


Better hope there’s a 10th life.

if you only knew. Being a transformation guy isn't easy or popular. Just waiting for my investment to reach X by the time I'm 60. Then its eating gummies and watching ancient aliens giving zero fucks 

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2 hours ago, Lidig8r said:

About $300 from Home Depot. Warms the seat, cleanses, warm air blower to dry.  Minimal use of Tp just to make sure. No walking around with small bits of fecal matter in Tp on your ass. Greatness.

image.png.6bfebe398797b18744136f80410845ab.png 

All the toilets in my house have had bidets installed for 8 years. She won't use them. She thinks they waste water and she'd rather waste TP than water.

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18 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, I learned my lesson.  Birthday sleepovers only.  Otherwise, the hell with that...I'm out.  At least in the old days, they used to just taunt one another until one of them developed a mental disorder.  Now, it's just one youtube emulation after another.  

My daughter has a legit skin issue where most soaps irritate her and she has actually been hospitalized because of the inflamation/irritation.  So to take the stigma off of it, my wonderful wife made one of their three craft stations a 'soap-making' station.  So they had the basic ingredients and could then add herbs or lemon zest or botanicals and put them into molds of cool shapes like stars or diamonds or whatever.  Kinda cool, I thought.  Made my daughter less self-conscious about her skin.  So of course one of the little shitheads has to whine about how "why do we have to make soap instead of buying it from the store to make Loboette feel good about her weird rash?"  And honestly, part of me was hoping they'd all put their newly made soaps into pillowcases and beat the girl in the middle of the night, a la Private Pyle.  But instead we had cupcakes.  

you named your daughter after the Levelland, Texas High School girl's sports teams?

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16 hours ago, deft said:

Be me. Sheltered anglo 17 year old male working his first job after school at H-E-B in small town Texas. As a bagger, I’m told I have to go clean bathrooms right before close at 2300.

I go yelling for my manager to ask why there’s shitty toilet paper in the wide open metal trash can next to the toilet. Big culture shock at that moment.

that sounds like me moving to San Antonio in high school and wondering why a guy has Jesus on his leather name belt.....or still wondering today why I had better grades in Spanish classes than Mexicans that could actually speak some Spanish.....the two other dudes with the upside down cross necklaces probably could have been found in any high school, but still

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