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Dyin - your mortal remains


Elvis

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Dad's end game.  

Eternal Reefs » Living legacies that memorialize our loved ones

I've have left instructions with the wife if I go soon (and by myself) to burn me and put the ashes in an empty vodka bottle and toss it to the GOM.  She'd never put 'em on Everest, she gets cold to easy.

Edited by Bevo&Pevo
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We have a family ranch in NM. 6 or 7 generations buried there. In the last two years, I’ve led memorial services there for my dad, mom, uncle, aunt, and cousin. The first service I remember going to there was about 50 years ago. I’ll be cremated and buried there. It makes a convenient stop for family to see many generations of relatives in the same spot. 

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The 2 longer ones below the tree( my grandparents) and then the little spot below the second longer one (my aunt still born)...my parents ashes to the right of the upper long one...myself and wife to the right of second long one and aunt....

Screenshot_20230716-190617.png

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 7/10/2023 at 7:46 AM, 'stache said:

I'll never understand our species' need to preserve human remains after death. Why preserve a body, put it in an expensive box, just to bury it and have them take up real estate, with a stone. None of us are that effing important.

I think I overall agree with you, and I don't care much what happens after I'm gone because I obviously won't know it.  But I went through a cemetery the other day that had a lot of history to it, including a gold miner tragedy from a bygone era.  Saw a family plot area where the last person was buried in 2007 but the oldest grave was from the 1800's.  I don't know, kind of neat to have a line of history available for the living to view and think on.  

So maybe no burial but a plaque somewhere with dates.  Just for whatever reason.  I've always told the wife I'd like one of those memorial benches somewhere along a river or maybe beach park area. 

Edited by MC Fresh Breath
computer messed up
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So, when my daughter was taken in 2016, I had UTSouthwestern take as many blood, organ and tissue samples as they could ... cremation then.

In the past 6  plus years, some of her ashes have gone to family members and dear friends.

As of right now, my daughter is off the coast of Tahiti, Venice, Washington D.C., off the coastline in Southern California, Colorado, Utah, Maui, off the coast of Cabo ... and since she went to 4 Texas - ou games with me ... scattered in the end zone of the Cotton Bowl (2 years ago).

More to follow.

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On 7/13/2023 at 10:53 AM, nnm said:

F07Q2iLXgAA4Vp7.jpeg.332783d8c37395bbade02b4700a556b2.jpeg

I really like this idea, unfortunately according to their web site it is not available yet.  It is still undergoing trails for approval.  They do have a biodegradable ash urn designed to be buried with a tree planted on top.  In Texas, the biodegradable ash urn would be allowed to be buried on private property with no approval needed.  The tree pod, in Texas, would require the registering of a private burial site.  I’m in the process of updating my will and instructions and this is pretty much what I have decided.

1) No religious service at all.  In fact no memorial service at all.  I have no desire to have people, especially those that I despised, to gather around and tell lies about me.

2) You can have an obituary if you want.  I would prefer none, but if you insist put all of the lies there.  They will fit right in with the rest of the lies in the news.

3) Cremate me 

4) Put my ashes in one of those biodegradable tree urns and plant me in the pasture at the ranch where every dog that I have ever had is buried.  

5) Plant a tree over me.  I’m still trying to decide what kind of tree.  I know I’ll need to specify that or I’ll end up under some kind of dipshit tree.  Right now I’m thinking a Texas Mountain Laurel, but I’m not sure it would do well there.  On the other hand,  being buried under a tree that dies may be appropriate.

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6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I really like this idea, unfortunately according to their web site it is not available yet.  It is still undergoing trails for approval.  They do have a biodegradable ash urn designed to be buried with a tree planted on top.  In Texas, the biodegradable ash urn would be allowed to be buried on private property with no approval needed.  The tree pod, in Texas, would require the registering of a private burial site.  I’m in the process of updating my will and instructions and this is pretty much what I have decided.

1) No religious service at all.  In fact no memorial service at all.  I have no desire to have people, especially those that I despised, to gather around and tell lies about me.

2) You can have an obituary if you want.  I would prefer none, but if you insist put all of the lies there.  They will fit right in with the rest of the lies in the news.

3) Cremate me 

4) Put my ashes in one of those biodegradable tree urns and plant me in the pasture at the ranch where every dog that I have ever had is buried.  

5) Plant a tree over me.  I’m still trying to decide what kind of tree.  I know I’ll need to specify that or I’ll end up under some kind of dipshit tree.  Right now I’m thinking a Texas Mountain Laurel, but I’m not sure it would do well there.  On the other hand,  being buried under a tree that dies may be appropriate.

You gotta plant a pecan or similar tree so everyone can enjoy deez nuts. 

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On 7/7/2023 at 7:56 PM, Grade of D as in David said:

 

On 7/8/2023 at 11:59 AM, tx ind said:

Always been fascinated by burial at sea.

Harry Freeman had us out to the ranch in 1974, after we moved to SA. I caught my first Texas bass in one of the stock tanks (I still have the spinner bait I used to catch it).  If I could identify the pond, I could be buried at sea, and they could study my decomposition in water. Sounds fun.

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I told a funeral saleswoman (who was trying to sell me a prearranged funeral) that my wife could put me in a garbage bag and set me on the corner for the truck to carry me away. 

Also my wife is a retired teacher so she is not entitled to any of my Social Security. So I told her to buy a new freezer, fold me up and put a lock on it so she could keep collecting my SS checks. 

I travel all over the backroads in the state. Every 5 miles there is a sign pointing to a cemetery down a dirt road that hasn't been visited in 20 years. After your kids are gone, no one is going to stop by anyway, so who cares where your carcass ends up? 

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Here is something that I thought was weird and did not know.  My Mom died in 2019.  Dad just passed recently.  Dad bought cemetery  plot for Mom and he when she died.  Paid for his arrangements/funeral as well. Convenient for us when his time came as payment and decisions were made.

However, what I had never heard of is that they had a stacked plot.   So they ended up being buried on top of each other.  When they buried my dad's coffin they would dig up the site where my mother was and put his coffin on top of hers, then cover them both up.

I get maybe in large metro areas or mausoleum's etc where space is limited, but this was in Austin.

Never heard or thought of that until they told me the arrangements.

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2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I really like this idea, unfortunately according to their web site it is not available yet.  It is still undergoing trails for approval.  They do have a biodegradable ash urn designed to be buried with a tree planted on top.  In Texas, the biodegradable ash urn would be allowed to be buried on private property with no approval needed.  The tree pod, in Texas, would require the registering of a private burial site.  I’m in the process of updating my will and instructions and this is pretty much what I have decided.

1) No religious service at all.  In fact no memorial service at all.  I have no desire to have people, especially those that I despised, to gather around and tell lies about me.

2) You can have an obituary if you want.  I would prefer none, but if you insist put all of the lies there.  They will fit right in with the rest of the lies in the news.

3) Cremate me 

4) Put my ashes in one of those biodegradable tree urns and plant me in the pasture at the ranch where every dog that I have ever had is buried.  

5) Plant a tree over me.  I’m still trying to decide what kind of tree.  I know I’ll need to specify that or I’ll end up under some kind of dipshit tree.  Right now I’m thinking a Texas Mountain Laurel, but I’m not sure it would do well there.  On the other hand,  being buried under a tree that dies may be appropriate.

 

Yeah, I want to be buried in the back yard next to the two dogs who "preceded me in death."

Daughter is worried about how a human grave would affect the resale value of the land. I told her "just don't tell anybody."

 

 

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I know it is unfashionable, but I want to be buried in a traditional casket and for it to be treated like a time capsule. I was an anthropology major and I like archaeology so I would like to be dug up some day and provide information about how people lived in the late 1900's-early 2000's.  I've actually been thinking about how to leave information - engraved on a stainless steel plate?  Written on a ceramic?  There are probably products for this that already exist.  You couldn't leave a thumb drive or CD or whatever.  Future people wouldn't have any way to access the data, probably. It's fun to think about.

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5 hours ago, Crapinon said:

I travel all over the backroads in the state. Every 5 miles there is a sign pointing to a cemetery down a dirt road that hasn't been visited in 20 years. After your kids are gone, no one is going to stop by anyway, so who cares where your carcass ends up? 

My dad died in 1992 and is buried in Glenwood here in Houston.  I still visit him because I miss him and I love that cemetery.  He's really close to Anson Jones and not too far from Howard Hughes.  There is a lot of history in there.  It's a little weird though because when we did that granite work around the plot and my dad's headstone (Texas Pink Granite), we did my mom's headstone too so it would match his exactly.  She's still kicking at 93.

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35 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

My dad died in 1992 and is buried in Glenwood here in Houston.  I still visit him because I miss him and I love that cemetery.  He's really close to Anson Jones and not too far from Howard Hughes.  There is a lot of history in there.  It's a little weird though because when we did that granite work around the plot and my dad's headstone (Texas Pink Granite), we did my mom's headstone too so it would match his exactly.  She's still kicking at 93.

My daughter volunteers to help upkeep neglected cemeteries. She always reminds me of this and believes markers and tombstones are a tribute and reminder for the common man/women. I really can't disagree with her,  though I know I'm the only one that ever visits my mom and dad's grave. 

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On 7/10/2023 at 9:46 AM, 'stache said:

I'll never understand our species' need to preserve human remains after death. Why preserve a body, put it in an expensive box, just to bury it and have them take up real estate, with a stone. None of us are that effing important. Treat me like Frank Reynolds, just throw me in the trash or something. More seriously, I've let it be known I do not want any of that, probably cremation and spread me somewhere special to rejoin the dirt. The tree option sounds kinda cool too.

Frank Reynolds Trash GIF | Gfycat

The answer to all of your questions is always the same..........money.

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4 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Typical Baptist. 

My parents died when I was young. They had bought 3 funeral plots in case I went before them. Since I didn't and had other plans, my aunt asked me if she could be buried next to my mom (her sister). I told her that was fine by me, but asked why didn't she want to be buried next to her husband. She said "When JESUS calls me out of the ground, that SOB (her husband) is the last person I want to see."

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...
34 minutes ago, Lidig8r said:

So, a recent update.  

Some of my daughter is now bonded with a shipwreck/coral reef just off the coast of Barbados.

http://adadsjourneywitheatingdisorders.home.blog/2024/02/04/diamonds-in-the-undertow/

This is the second time you have made me close my office door and get myself composed. You are a hell of a writer. Your daughter was a remarkable young woman.

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30 minutes ago, nnm said:

Very sweet. Is that your blog?

Yes.  Have written many articles about mental health, eating disorders, my daughter.

Am now going after some bad actors in the community.

Sometimes our soul finds us in the most tragic ways and its path is set before us.

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On 7/8/2023 at 12:25 PM, Kennythetiger said:

If my wife goes before me, I am discreetly spreading her ashes in the aisles of a Wal-Mart store.  I don’t think either she or her mom have ever driven past our local goddamn Wal-Mart without needing to stop and get something there. They fucking love that place. 

If mine goes before me I'll have her cremated. Then I'll dump her ashes in the toilet and take a huge chili shit on them before flushing.

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  • 1 month later...

Well, that's an awkward first date question.

"So what do you do for a living?"

-Uh, I'm an accountant.  How about you?

"I pull out surgical rods and screws from dead bodies after cremation but before grinding."

-Oh, so you wanna get potato skins before dinner, or cheese sticks, or?  

 

 

I still kick myself for my dad's funeral.  He wanted to go out Viking Funeral style.  He was a Navy vet, loved being on the water all his life, and loved this vast lake in Ontario, Canada called Dryberry.  He wanted my brother and I, and some close family and friends, to send him out there.  And my brother is a fucking ace bow shooter.  And have him start the little wooden boat on fire with a torching arrow, and let the remains sink to the lake he loved.  But he died while his parents were still alive.  And they were devout Lutherans with a family plot outside Chicago.  And so as not to upset them in their old age after losing their first-born son, we just went along with what they wanted with a proper Lutheran service and military burial.  My brother and I still talk about digging him up and having him cremated and spreading the remains over Dryberry Lake.  But I'm sure his youngest sister would throw a pissy fit about it, she never did quit bitching about everything.  

My mom was just visiting Texas from Chicago last month.  And brought some of her youngest brother's ashes with her.  She spread them near her parent's gravesites.  It provided her and his daughter some solace.  It reminded me to update my estate plan.  I am to be cremated and the decision what to do with the ashes is 100% up to my daughters.  They can take half each and never talk to each other again.  They can come together to spread them in the ocean.  They can shoot 'em into space.  They can dump 'em down the drain.  In the end, it'll be something they'll have to figure out to do together.  And that's all I want.  No stone to weep over or clean or bring flowers to.  Just a project and a trip and a conversation.  Just as Isaac and Ishmael came together one last time to lay their father to rest, so shall they.  No reason for $15,000 in a plot and headstone.  Better yet, send an arrow and light my ass on fire /charliepride

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Posted (edited)

When the covid lock down hit, my wife and I would just get in the car and drive through the country. My daughter was visiting country cemeteries and taking pics of a lot of the interesting tombstones, so we decided to see some too. And we still do occasionally, on Sunday afternoons. We saw this epitaph on a stone and I thought it looked like a good beginning for a movie. 

20240310_174413.jpg

Edited by Crapinon
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He actually has practiced that before.  The tricky part that they don't talk about in movies (although this scene alluded to it a bit with the flag nod), is wind.  You can account for it with your actual shot (he does this all the time when bow-hunting in some very windy places).  But the wind does this funny thing to flames, it blows them out.  Physics 'n shit, regardless of the bow-shooters prowess otherwise.  You can have all the accuracy and wind accountability you want but fires go out in heavy winds, production value aside.  And the lake we were gonna do it at is one of the windiest places you'll ever feel.  It's pretty much always 20-30mph+ with 40-50mph gusts.  You can't even piss off the boat without wrecking shop.  But watching that makes me want to revisit the conversation with my brother.  

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