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On 3/3/2025 at 9:46 PM, Superhero said:

I started turning grey at 23. At the ripe young age of 50, my hair is completely white. Many people have mistaken me to be my kids’ grandpa.

Anyway, tomorrow is “eat lunch with your parents” day at my boy’s school. He doesn’t want me to come because

”People will think you’re my grandpa. And it’s supposed to be eat lunch with your PARENT!”

 

 

 

[edit] Yeah, I died  dyed a little when he said that. But still funny.

Fixed for how how he wanted you to respond.

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In the early 1970s when my oldest son was about four years old, the wife & I took him down to the old Austin Mueller airport where the Goodyear Blimp was on display. 
The public was invited to park on surrounding streets and walk onto the airport grounds off to the side away from the runway area where it was tethered to the ground.

We went that morning along with hundreds of other families - and as we walked across the grassy grounds approaching the blimp it got bigger & bigger. It really was an impressive sight, and my son gawked wide-eyed in awe loudly exclaiming two or three times, “Gawd damn, gawd damn….”  while several people sterted staring at the profane little kid.
I was holding in the laughter, but Mrs. Brat was mortified and tried to pretend she didn’t know that mouthy boy.

 

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On 3/6/2025 at 8:30 PM, Armybrat said:

In the early 1970s when my oldest son was about four years old, the wife & I took him down to the old Austin Mueller airport where the Goodyear Blimp was on display. 

Living in South Florida as a kid,we would see the Pompano Beach version of the Goodyear Blimp floating around that it wasn't ever a big deal.

3 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Living in South Florida as a kid,we would see the Pompano Beach version of the Goodyear Blimp floating around that it wasn't ever a big deal.

It was a rarity to see it in Austin. 
IIRC, it was here to make an appearance above Memorial Stadium as a part of a televised football game.

Enjoying reading through this thread.

Back in 2014 when our kids were 6 (son) and 4 (daughter) we were in LA for a long weekend. One morning at breakfast we told the kids we were taking them to Knott’s Berry Farm (it’s an amusement park) after breakfast. 

So, we’re in the car heading down the highway and about 10 minutes into the drive our son says, “Why is it taking so long? I thought we were going to Not Very Far.”

Now that kid is 17 and starting the college application process. 

 

Seems to be a theme within his recent Google searches on the school Chromebook. 
 
Screenshot_20250311_150533_SecurlyHome.thumb.jpg.7da6a6a8b1a1213daa2f51fafa277ffa.jpg
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Wanna know more about the helicorpion. That sounds badass. Have him draw us one.
18 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Wanna know more about the helicorpion. That sounds badass. Have him draw us one.

I'll see what I can do. 

He and his friends are currently really into a Roblox game called Fisch where you obsessively fish for thousands of different species of - you guessed it - fish. 

28 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Wanna know more about the helicorpion. That sounds badass. Have him draw us one.

I just discovered this creature is correctly spelled as helicoprion and it is indeed awesome. The doomlet is on to something...

I'll see what I can do. 
He and his friends are currently really into a Roblox game called Fisch where you obsessively fish for thousands of different species of - you guessed it - fish. 

My kid plays this. Fucker quit fishing with me in real life but goes ham on that game. He also retired from soccer and plays that online as well. I get it though - it’s not hot inside.

"[Iowa player] Josh Dix has tiny balls."
"I don't think you know what his nutsack looks like, [Doomlet], and I don't want to talk about it at dinner, either." 
"Just spittin' facts, mom." 

52 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

"[Iowa player] Josh Dix has tiny balls."
"I don't think you know what his nutsack looks like, [Doomlet], and I don't want to talk about it at dinner, either." 
"Just spittin' facts, mom." 

What's great is he has Mrs. Doom (Doomletmom?) saying "nutsack" at the dinner table.  

6 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

What's great is he has Mrs. Doom (Doomletmom?) saying "nutsack" at the dinner table.  

We were eating in the den watching the Illinois/Iowa game, but yes, he's certainly influenced the household's level of discourse. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

  • 1 month later...

Daughter: Taco Bell always kind of gives you diarrhea.

Me: Have you ever eaten there?

Daughter: No, but that’s what everyone says.

On 3/13/2025 at 8:17 AM, Jerry Callo said:

Now we all have "searched for helicorprion"

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 4/15/2023 at 9:45 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

He's currently salty at us because we have definitely refused to buy him a hang glider for his birthday. 

The facts that we live in Chicago and he's turning eight years old are unpersuasive - "I could be the only eight year old who does it!" 

Out of the blue at dinner tonight, "So when are you guys getting me my hang glider?" 

He's currently playing the Jardiance commercial at full volume and alternating between either 2x or 0.25x speeds. 

It was funny at first. 

It's not funny any longer. 

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Out of the blue at dinner tonight, "So when are you guys getting me my hang glider?" 

Good question. 

He got in trouble at his after school program today because he and his idiot friends were using a brick fragment to "play basketball" in the gym and one of his shots scratched (but thankfully, did not actually break) the backboard.

I had a stifle my laughter a few different times when sternly lecturing him about how this is a rookie-level "stop and think, what comes next?" kind of fuckup. 

On 4/18/2025 at 8:32 AM, HenryJames said:

Daughter: Taco Bell always kind of gives you diarrhea.

Me: Have you ever eaten there?

Daughter: No, but that’s what everyone says.

 

both statements are true

 

 

 

 

On 5/11/2025 at 6:26 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The inscription on Mrs. Doom's Mother's Day card. 

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*she is not bald - has lovely, thick, curly, auburn hair.

Auburn is a kinda reddish right? Maybe Doomlet got the crazy from mom.

 

image.png.fab796e423755dc229296a5839e63227.png

 

Maybe 

Our Ring camera caught a girl ding dong ditching our house.

I went outside and found this note taped to our welcome mat.

image.jpeg.9d06639288d286e4e7a24314953da808.jpeg

 

Whoever did it ain't wrong. My son has longish lashes and really cute dimples. But we couldn't identify the girl on the recording, and don't know of any girl who might know our address except for a classmate who also lives in our neighborhood, but she doesn't like him.

*you're

42 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Auburn is a kinda reddish right? Maybe Doomlet got the crazy from mom.

 

image.png.fab796e423755dc229296a5839e63227.png

 

Maybe 

She’s a daywalker - a bit darker than that. 

He's a fine blend of both her and my brand of crazy. 

On 5/19/2025 at 12:42 PM, Superhero said:

Our Ring camera caught a girl ding dong ditching our house.

I went outside and found this note taped to our welcome mat.

*you're

*u'r

There are two good things and one bad thing about having the veins pop out of your hand. It looks cool and means that you're probably pretty strong, but it provides aim-assist for mosquitoes. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

17 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

There are two good things and one bad thing about having the veins pop out of your hand. It looks cool and means that you're probably pretty strong, but it provides aim-assist for mosquitoes. 

On a mission trip in South Africa a few years ago, the local kids thought it was the coolest thing. They would just trace the veins on my hand, pushing them in. 

He has an old phone of ours that he uses to play games over Wi-Fi - no SIM card or cell connectivity. 

I just noticed that this picture of a game glitch in which a horse appears to be eating the ass of another horse is his wallpaper/lock screen. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/19/2025 at 12:42 PM, Superhero said:

Our Ring camera caught a girl ding dong ditching our house.

image.gif.3afed3a868c9b6084df4bad3da6a5686.gif

Daughter: Do rodents die with their eyes open?

Me: I don't know. Why?

Daughter: I want to get a pet mouse.

Getting back from vacation, I told my kids to hand over their school and personal iPads because they’ve had way too much screen time on the plane ride back.

Son: Wait. You can’t take my school iPad yet. I have to check my work emails.

 

Yeah, poor example that mom and dad set even though we were supposed to be on vacation. 

We watched Predator 2 last night, and he made me rewind and pause it so that he could make jokes about Danny Glover's receding hairline as shown in infrared. 

I played "Something for Nothing" by Rush to my daughter, and she asked, "Is this you playing the bass? It sounds like one of your bass lines" and I've never had a nicer, more sincere compliment than that.

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When my daughter, Baby Llama, was barely two years old, Mama Llama and I were driving with her from our home on the Gulf Coast to Tuscaloosa to spend the weekend with my inlaws.  I was driving. Mama was shotgun and Baby was directly behind Mama in back sucking a bottle, making a little bubbly intake sound.  We were on US 43 crossing a bridge on a rather long upgrade.  A vehicle was poking along ahead of us.  I swung out to pass. I  looked to be sure I was well past the vehicle before moving to the right lane, noticing a large AU decal in lower left corner of their rear windshield. As we overtook the car, the bubby sound suddenly stopped abruptly. From the back seat, “UGH! Auburn.” Mama looked at me with a broad smile on her beautiful face, and we bumped fists silently.  That kid, now only 41, has always made us proud. 

Smoked a whole chicken for dinner the other night and the boy commented:
"Man this chicken is good!  I'm glad we aren't vegan.  Most vegans are gay."

NTTIAWWT.

Is calling people gay as a derogatory term a thing (again) now? We used to say it, but seemed like it stopped for quite a while. Seems like it’s back en vogue for kids to call each other gay for something or other.

Anyway, I sat my kids down and told them in no certain terms that they need to stop that or else. Even if their friends aren’t gay, some person may be gay and hear this and have an even rougher time come to terms with who they are / fear of coming out.

/lib dad


 

I know I know

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Edited by Superhero

10 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

He just offered me some cheese that, and I quote, "may or may not have been on [his] genitals." 

I would not eat that cheese.

  • 2 weeks later...
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Almost had a Cristiano Ronaldo meme at my house this morning.  My 4 year knocked a cup of apple juice over and  made a big mess.   Wife walks in and says “Who made this big mess on the floor”.

 

Sweet daughter says “The juice did it”

 

Wife says “What did you say?!? The what did it?!”

 

I’m on the floor in the other room laughing my ass off

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I had to pull one of his teeth tonight.

It bled a little bit, and when he saw himself with a mouth partly full of blood, he said (in his best "monster" or "bad guy" voice), "I've eaten five kids" and then spit a bunch of blood in the sink. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

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