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At some point Trooper Paul gonna talk physics again lol

 

 

 

 

ChatGPT best guess:

The state’s case:
"Drunk girlfriend runs over cop boyfriend while backing up at 2 mph. He flies 30 feet like a Marvel superhero, lands in the snow, somehow has no broken bones, and lies there for six hours while nobody at the house notices—even though one lady is literally watching out the window for him."

The defense’s case:
"Cop boyfriend probably gets into a drunken fight at a house party hosted by another cop. Gets punched or falls, gets mauled a bit by the family’s German Shepherd, everyone panics, dumps him in the snow, and they all call their buddy, Trooper ‘I’m looking for nudes on the suspect’s phone’ Proctor, to cover it up."

Prosecution’s “expert physics” guy:
Has no physics degree. Claims a man hit by a reversing SUV will "spin gracefully like an Olympic figure skater" and land gently enough to not break a single bone. When asked why this doesn’t match basic physics or reality:
"I dunno."

Defense’s physics guys:
"This is nonsense. Even a 7th grader can tell you that if you get hit by a giant SUV, you don't just get a boo-boo on your arm and a headache."

Key facts the state can't explain without sounding like cartoon villains:

Witnesses deleted phone logs right after the death.

The lead cop investigating (Proctor) was besties with the family hosting the party and sent texts calling Karen a “whackjob” while joking about searching her phone for nudes.

The homeowner (a cop) and his family somehow never noticed the dead body 10 feet from their window but a random neighbor saw a “black blob” in the yard.

McCabe, the state's star witness, Googled “hos long to die in cold” at 2:27 a.m., FOUR HOURS before they claim she found the body. Prosecutors say this was just a "browser tab quirk." (Because we all search "how long to die" before realizing someone’s missing, right?)

No forensic search of the house was ever done. Police treated the dead body like trash in the yard and never checked inside where the injuries probably happened.

What really happened:
Karen Read, like a lot of drunk girlfriends, left her drunk boyfriend at the door of a party and drove off, possibly bumping into his car. Inside, somebody clocked him, or he fell, or the dog got him. Rather than call 911 and wreck multiple police careers, they staged a "he got run over" scene with Proctor's help, blamed Karen, and hoped nobody would notice the facts don’t add up.

Final verdict:
Karen Read is innocent. She’s being railroaded because corrupt cops would rather frame her than admit they got drunk, stupid, and violent at a party.

If a juror can watch this case and still think Karen did it, they probably also believe Wile E. Coyote physics is real.

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