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Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

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If USA is tied to the lizard people from outer space, Hello Zuk, and the lizard people hate the grey people are the greys in cahoots with Russia?  Is that why we are always at odds with Russia despite being very similar?  #conspiracythoughtexperiment #popcorn #ishouldwritescifi

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Yesterday my shitty internet was out for most of the day so I went through my bit torrent folder to find something to watch.  Found an unwatched documentary called "Murderball" about quadriplegic rugby.  The show was pretty freaking awesome and those guys are flat out maniacs - and all around assholes.

But what gave me a "woah" moment was when they were showing the history of one of the main characters and how he became paralyzed.  Apparently he was involved in a fight with his best friend in high school.  The name of that high school you ask, "Marjory Stoneman Douglas". 

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Netflix has done a re-boot of The Magic School Bus. The new Ms. Frizzle is smoking hot. Might be my favorite cartoon MILF since The Incredibles.
Did you jerk off to her?

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I sometimes think other drivers really admire my driving. They just see how I handle my truck and it instills confidence. If they have a choice of lanes, they’ll follow me. It has nothing to do with their intended destination 

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I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

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1 minute ago, 'stache said:

I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

a1.jpg

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45 minutes ago, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

THEIR!! I promise I know English.

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34 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Anyone else on Friday just say fuck it. And take a two hour lunch at the all you can eat Mexican Place and drink beer before going back to work?

Why limit that to just Fridays?

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Princess Kate-Whatever-The -Fuck-Good-Looking-But-No-Tits-Still-Would dropped her third puppy.  Why does anyone outside of Britain give a flying fuck?

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2 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

If I married Donna Shalala my name could be Steel Shank Shalala.

And if you ran a pumping station in the Midwest while remixing an aggy standard, you could be Steel Shank Shalala from Ogalalla, singing Tra La La.

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If you were knighted, moved to the South Sandwich Islands, had a son and named him Shank, Jr. then you would be Sir Steel Shank Shalala, Sr. of South Sandwich.

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A guy I know went over to check on his parent's dog to feed it, take it outside etc while they were gone for a couple of days. 

They left the robot vacuum cleaner on.

Big Lab took a shit on the hardwood floor and, well, in case you ever wondered, those robot vacuums do one hell of a shit shine. 

 

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I was at the Publix today. The one I go too always asks if you want to contribute to the march of dimes, or whatever charity they are in to at the time. 

I was behind a lady being cashed out. Cashier finished.

Cashier: With a sweet smile goes; Would you like to contribute to the march of dimes??

Lady: Ah, this is my husband's credit card and I  can't put anything extra on it

Cashier: With a disgusting look says: What the hell are you married to?

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Dolemite

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That reminds me. I need to post in the rage thread about how every financial interaction has now turned into an attempt to shake me down for your charity.

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I HATED being required to ask every single goddam customer if they wanted to donate when I worked at Bi-Lo.

"Hi random stranger, would you like to donate to this charity? I'm sure they paying my company so that I'm being forced to ask you this lest I risk being disciplined"

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On 4/20/2018 at 2:01 PM, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

That and fish.  They should be drug out to the parking lot and get bitch slapped by everyone in the office.

Edited by Moby Ric

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Have you watched it recently? 

There was a time in my life when I thought Krull was a good movie too, but you're only 7 once. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

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12 hours ago, CycleTex87 said:

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, Gonna grab some afternoon delight

/RonBurgandy

 

My 8th grade art teacher told the class to do projects based on Afternoon Delight.  She didn't know what the song was about.  Naturally, she was surprised by the submissions

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On 4/13/2018 at 4:27 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Practically every weed that grows in my yard is edible. Most of them taste better than lettuce in any of the dishes in which I'd normally use lettuce.

I think you would like EatTheWeeds channel on YouTube.

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Whenever I’m in the 20 items or less checkout I’m always counting how many items the people in front of me have in their basket. 

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1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:

Whenever I’m in the 20 items or less checkout I’m always counting how many items the people in front of me have in their basket. 

Fewer. 

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Guys who bitch about their wives turning them down for “sexy time” need to understand that their wife probably just wants them to be a man and pound her until she can’t walk  instead of trying to be cute with shit like “sexy time.”

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