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SquishMitten

Gettin Laid: 2019

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2 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I've been divorced( just once) for almost 10 years and have had more than my fair share of quality tail since then, but only one that I even thought about something long term with. I came very close to marrying her a year or so ago, but things just went to shit after we got engaged. It was tough at first but eventually I felt like I dodged a bullet that things worked out the way they did. I had about decided I'm good with being a single dude from here on out.

So I met someone new on Dec 1 that I've been taking things very slow with, which is not my norm. She is so gorgeous and so fucking awesome in just about every way...I can actually see myself settling down with her for good....more than just thinking about it I must admit. I took her out dancing last night and she ended up staying the night at my house after we got back, which I wasn't expecting her to do. Holy fuck that was amazing. I might just have to hang up the bachelor life for good.

#tl/dr, got laid, might be in love

I remember the first time I had sex too.

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1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

I remember the first time I had sex too.

Did your dad take you out to buy your favorite toy so that you wouldn’t tell mom? 

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2 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Vacation sex really is better than just normal, at home, sex. 

Yes, being alone with my wife and no kids around to cockblock the moment does wonders for the libido.

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13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Yes, being alone with my wife and no kids around to cockblock the moment does wonders for the libido.

It just seems the wives let all inhibitions go when on vacation.  

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1 hour ago, Zepol87 said:

Is this the cowboy bikini girl?

No that was a brunette chick. I tried to post a couple of pics of her on that thread and I think they got pulled by the mods

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2 hours ago, Underdog said:

It just seems the wives let all inhibitions go when on vacation.  

Why, yes they do. 🤩

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5 minutes ago, markstanco said:

My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.

The kid?? 

chris-hansen-58713725264f7.jpeg

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About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

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My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.


My five year old and two year old specialize in this shit. I can’t wait until they get old enough I can lock their asses outside.

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1 hour ago, Mo Horn said:

About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

Sorry, dude. Didn’t realize I was deep enough to crack ribs. I’ll be more careful next time. 

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On 1/18/2019 at 11:04 AM, Jhawk said:

I remember the first time I had sex too.

For reals....too much feelings in there. Did he hit or not?

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1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

I’m going to go ahead and say that immortal has left the game. 

Leads me to a question. How many here only have 1/4th or 1/8th the shit they should have because of divorce?

Edited by Jhawk

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14 hours ago, Mo Horn said:

About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

Congratulations, Mr. Bader-Ginsburg.

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3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

And none in the forum that matters 

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7 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

Are you complaining? At least I abided by the rules, right?

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5 hours ago, Jhawk said:

I’m going to go ahead and say that immortal has left the game. 

Leads me to a question. How many here only have 1/4th or 1/8th the shit they should have because of divorce?

When my son was divorced in 1996, out of the kitchen gadgets all he got was the electric carving knife which had only one blade.

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25 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When my ex moved out she took half of the master bedroom drapes

Impressive.  Not cut-the-vacuum-cord-into-8"-pieces impressive.  But impressive.

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I can understand losing it all in one divorce. But if you were to lose half two or three times I would laugh my ass off. 

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Wow.  She’s never turned me down. 
Wait... How wide watches you jack it?

White* people are awesome and weird...






*Don't care if you're not white.

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5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

When my son was divorced in 1996, out of the kitchen gadgets all he got was the electric carving knife which had only one blade.

That's all he needed to take care of the problem

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did a quick scroll of both pages.  looks like immortal is the only degenerate in here not fucking a folded pillow covered in lubriderm.  the rest of you should post some goddamn pics. 

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