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  1. Machinator

    Machinator

    Certifiably Surly


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      44358


  2. texifornia

    texifornia

    Certifiably Surly


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      131

    • Posts

      41038


  3. mdmost

    mdmost

    Certifiably Surly


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      98

    • Posts

      31545


  4. closetojumping

    closetojumping

    Burnt Ends


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      86

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/22/21 in Posts

  1. Monkey Sent from my Pixel 4 using Tapatalk
    70 points
  2. That is a mighty fine looking coaching staff
    49 points
  3. Sark: we're hiring Lupoi Compliance dept: no way, he's too risky, he's gonna get us in trouble Sark: i thought you might say that, good thing i have a backup plan. Gonna pivot to mike st- Compliance dept: oh fuck you. Here's Lupoi's badge and parking pass. That is the fairy tale that i will tell myself to get over this.
    46 points
  4. I envy the lucky mother fuckers who went to bed before the Mike Stoops news broke and wake up / check the internet after its already been refuted. They will never know the emotional scars us survivors of the ~10 hour 'Mike Stoops LB coach' tenure will carry for the rest of our lives.
    46 points
  5. Ok- this is actually fucking genius. Now, sark can bring in any fucking coach on the planet and we’ll all be relieved. “What’s that? The new coach has been coaching baseball in Honduras for the past 8 years? Never seen a football you say? Doesn’t speak English? Or Spanish? Right. .....thank God it’s not Stoops”
    36 points
  6. Anyone willing to believe that this was just a hoax or trial balloon is a fucking idiot. This fucking clown was hired and the money revolted, and they should have. And I don't mean, one BMD had a problem. Since last night, shit apparently went fucking nuts for CDC and Hartzell, and it should have. I just went through about 10 pages happily negging any idiot trying to rationalize the Stoops hire. @Hank_Hill and @closetohumping were stars of the show with their abject stupidity on the pages from 285-292/3. Just some epically bad shit. I thought watching people defend the Watson hire at the time, or the Horny hire ("oh Shaggy posters, what's the big deal with hiring a rape orchestrator anyway?"), or the Valai hire was nauseating and unbelievable, but there were actually people on this thread basically already parroting "trust Sark". No thanks. This was an orchestrated hire by Sarkisian, and it is a fucking problem. We saw Strong do this with Shawn Watson. Herman hired Horny, but he wasn't trying to pull one over. He was just oblivious and wound up surprised that there was blowback but stuck with his guy anyway. I am sick and fucking tired of watching average intelligence-level men elevated to a position of power and feeling like they can do whatever the fuck they want, even with an entire fanbase in revolt, because they think they're smarter than everybody else. Football isn't a complicated enterprise. Tracking coaching personnel and performance isn't complicated either. There are mountains of information freely available regarding these coaches and their work history and personal lives. We don't have access to what happens inside a program's walls, but that's it for the limits. People funding this fucking enterprise and making Sarkisian, Strong, and Herman rich beyond their wildest dreams aren't morons or clueless. Almost everyone involved is smarter than any one of those three imbeciles. Fuck Sarkisian for this stupid shit and fuck any of you willing to play the clown and buy into the premise that the dude didn't have an offer. Fuck Del Conte for letting his idiot employee attempt to pull this off, especially after they both were counseled weeks ago that Stoops couldn't be a part of the fucking plan. Going through motherfucking Zooms and kissing babies all the while knowing you were going to show us with your last hire. Motherfucking shitbag. Tough break for @OnAComputer and his boys, as having Stoops inside the walls of Bellmont would have been a real coup for them.
    32 points
  7. What were your favorite moments of the Mike Stoops era at Texas?
    29 points
  8. Sark having to call CDC at 11pm last night....
    28 points
  9. Ok here it is. Hitler reacts to the Stoops news. https://captiongenerator.com/2113282/Mike-Stoops-hired-by-Sark
    24 points
  10. Feels like Maury just told me I’m not the father.
    23 points
  11. Honestly this just feels right. No, not the hire. The feeling that our head coach just decided to set himself on fire with the worst staff hire imaginable. This is what we've come to know and love. It feels like a warm blanket... covered in small pox.
    23 points
  12. HOLY SHIT WE'RE ROOTING FOR BRIAN FUCKING DAVIS TO BE RIGHT
    22 points
  13. Incoming RD deep dive essay about how the clitoris is a myth with newspaper clipping citation from the Salem Witch Trials.
    21 points
  14. Maybe the real linebackers coach is the friends we made along the way.
    21 points
  15. "I'm sober now but I'm still stupid" is the worst victory lap I've ever seen.
    20 points
  16. Suchomel changed his aggy pick on LJ back to Texas on Rivals.
    19 points
  17. https://www.al.com/alabamafootball/2021/01/another-alabama-staffer-set-to-join-steve-sarkisian-at-texas.html Coming out of Thursday, Mike Stoops was all set to join Steve Sarkisian’s staff at Texas. That’s not the case anymore, though. So what changed? Here’s the backstory on the Stoops-Texas situation based on information gathered from AL.comsources. Stoops, who worked at Alabama with Sarkisian the last two seasons, was going to be hired as Sarkisian’s linebackers coach. It was an interesting development, especially considering the Stoops family ties to Texas’ top rival, Oklahoma, where Stoops’ brother Bob was the head coach from 1999 to 2016 and where Stoops himself worked from 1999 to 2003 and then again as the Sooners’ defensive coordinator from 2012 to 2018. It was enough of a done deal that Stoops was going to Texas that he informed Alabama and head coach Nick Saban of his plans on Thursday, said his goodbyes to people around the Crimson Tide program, left his job as a Tide analyst and was expected to fly to Texas on Friday to begin the process of finding a new place to live along with wife. Then came Friday morning and a call from Sarkisian that changed those plans. Sarkisian shared during that call that he could no longer make the hire. Multiple sources referenced that backlash regarding the potential of hiring Stoops may have played a role in eliminating the possibility. So what now? Texas will hire a different linebackers coach. Meanwhile, it sounds like Stoops, who turned down multiple FBS defensive coordinator opportunities this offseason, will return to his job as an analyst at Alabama.
    18 points
  18. Listen, numb nuts, stop posting. Everyone here knows that at best you know jack shit, and at worst you're mentally deranged and unhinged. You still think that the Texas Legislature has to approve of funds for a football coach, and you still had no clue the hall of fame was in the North End Zone and not the south weeks after the construction had completed. You're a fucking buffoon smelling your own farts. You don't know jack shit about the workings of the AD, Bellmont, or a woman's clitoris.
    18 points
  19. Sark didn't want to let Gideon slip through his fingers, I guess.
    17 points
  20. Confirmed. Jeff Banks is not only regarded, but he's actually highly-regarded!
    16 points
  21. As much as I'm dumbfounded and pissed that Sark would ever think this would fly and that he could pull an end run after he had already been told no unequivocally on Stoops the first time... it's all worth it just for the image of that steaming bucket of dick cheese Mike Stoops going to bed thinking he's going to be a paid position coach again, and he's got his coaching career back on track. You can almost see the shiteating grin on his face. And he starts mouthing off to some third rate Alabama reporter and trolling on Twitter and really feeling his oats. And you just know he was super jacked (coked?) to be at Texas much less where he could exact his revenge on OU and that little shit Lincoln Riley for shitcanning him and showing them what a fucking mistake they made... and then his waking up to the phone call. "Hey buddy, remember when I offered you that job? Sorry, man. Just couldn't make it happen. Have fun licking Saban's taint in Tuscaloosa for minimum wage the next year. Good bye, and good luck."
    15 points
  22. god bless him. plaster that all over every newspaper in that whole goddamn state.
    15 points
  23. I take back everything I said and thought about Sark in the past 2 hours. At least for the next 2 minutes.
    15 points
  24. I am really hoping Stoops is really pissed and takes a DC job in the Big XII just to try and get back at us.
    14 points
  25. I know this is off-topic, but I just can't let this go. It is a singularly wrong take. 1) The reason they are being treated unequally is because they aren't equal. Breaking some windows at the Starbucks is different from invading the Capitol during a joint session of Congress in order to prevent Congress from certifying the election of the legitimately elected president. The former is an effort to destroy private property. The latter is an effort to allow the guy who lost the election to seize power. The former is a property crime. The latter is an attempt violently to overthrow the government of the United States--it is a crime not against one property owner but against the entire body politic. 2) You're wrong about the "dumbbutts." Even if I could separate the "dumbbutts" from the "death-threateners," it wouldn't matter, either from a legal or logical standpoint. Even if I concede that only 10% of the insurrectionist mob intended to murder members of Congress and overthrow the government--something that I definitely do not concede--that 10% wouldn't have gotten in without the active assistance of the other 90%. The Capitol Police were unable to disperse and repel the mob precisely because it was so big. The aid of that 90% is what allowed the 10% to come within a hair of killing the second- and third-in-line of succession. That's why the law has followed the felony-murder rule for centuries. If you're part of a felony and someone dies during the commission of a crime, then you're charged with murder. It doesn't matter that you were only the lookout and didn't pull the trigger. If you weren't playing your part, the triggerman isn't in position to pull the trigger. You're every bit as culpable as he is. It's the same thing with the "dumbbutts." If they didn't commit the "trespass and disobeying of lawful orders" that you concede they committed, then the "seditionist traitors" never make it inside the Capitol and aren't in position to kidnap and murder an entire branch of the government.
    14 points
  26. I will forever believe that the meltdown caused this to fall apart. Well done, everyone.
    14 points
  27. Trading Hutzler for Stoops is every bit as much an abject failure as the Watson and Warehime hires. I don't give a flying fuck what his last name is. You had one of the best and brightest young coaches in the country under contract and you let him go to make room for a universally detested, complete asshole who hasn't coached LBs in three decades. Not to mention his substance abuse shit and the fact that everyone who's ever come into contact with him despises him. Oh, and he's an utter disaster as a coach, too. There is absolutely no way to justify this hire. There's still OU shit all over his Twitter account, for fuck's sake. Unbelievably tone deaf and idiotic hire. It's like Sarkisian is writing a case study on how to build up a whole bunch of good will and then burn through it in a matter of minutes.
    14 points
  28. I would like to have seen Montana...
    13 points
  29. How disappointed was Stoops when you spoke with him?
    13 points
  30. At least the Surly collective kept a cool head and didn't overreact to a rumor.
    13 points
  31. Looks like my emails and tweets did it. You’re welcome.
    13 points
  32. Police and federal marshals are not a joint session of Congress sitting for the purpose of confirming the election of the next president. Attacking them is a crime. It's just a different crime. So they are treated differently. It's not an opinion to say "but they're the same." That's a false statement. It is logically false; it is legally false. You don't get away with saying a logical fallacy by dismissing it as "well, it's just my opinion."
    12 points
  33. Oh it's you being obtuse. Let me make it real simple for you, dipshit. Boosters are rich and can do what they want with their money, even in a pandemic. They can buy new cars, new homes new mistresses, and new football coaches. They're not legally or morally obligated to infuse money into athletic programs to save jobs. Like it or not, this is American where capitalism and freedom of choice rule. You and everyone else can have some kind of moral objection to how the world works, that's fine. But the complete lack of understanding of reality and conflating that with your moral outrage is, well, pretty fucking obtuse. I'm not sure I'm going to be about to help you future out the difference, because you're fucking obtuse.
    12 points
  34. I appreciate the "?" giving me room to prove you wrong
    12 points
  35. Shut the fuck up with this nonsense. He’s been an abject failure as a coach for almost 20 years now, including getting fired by his own brother and working as an analyst for two years, and he hasn’t coached LBs in over 30 years. I don’t care if his last name was Royal. It’s an inarguably terrible hire.
    12 points
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