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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/27/25 in Posts

  1. "God DAMN you, closetojumping!! Do not do this!!" Over the course of the last two months, the patrons of this board have gone from feeling their oats and scheduling dinner reservations in Miami for next January to a bunch of sobbing twats, scared of their own shadow and counting future losses as though these things are certain. It is time we pull ourselves together. Texas is playing Vanderbilt, for fuck's sake. I don't care how highly rated those dorks are, they haven't played in Austin since 1903. Texas didn't even have a stadium then and most of our grandparents weren't even alive then. Things change, but opponents coming to town and having their heads handed to them is a longstanding tradition in which every reader here is rooted. This season and this team has been shit on and shoved down by every talking head and voter in the media since the lofty #1 preseason ranking was vaporized in week one in Ohio. Boo hoo. The team hasn't quit yet, and they're finally heading home. This year's schedule has only exacerbated the distorted view that college football nation and our own fanbase has of this team. They lost by one score on the road to Ohio State, who no one has played close since. Then they played 3 cupcakes that no one cared to even cover or watch for the most part. While our fanbase yawned and Manning struggled, everyone else just read box scores, watched some clippings on Twitter and IG, and formed definitive opinions that Texas sucks. A bad loss to lackluster Florida in The Swamp didn't help the program's cause. People excused OU because of the Mateer injury, even though he played and said he was fine, and then beat two SEC teams on the road. After two fucking decades of hearing mouthbreathers tell us what a grind every SEC game is, especially on the road, Texas has received zero credit for going back to back weeks and beating Kentucky and Mississippi State in their backyards. So were folks just lying pieces of shit overhyping a top-heavy, otherwise mediocre conference? Or is everyone just full of shit and resentment now and can't give Texas credit where it is due? I've heard multiple talking heads yesterday and today claim that Texas is done and simply not a good team this year. "I expect Vanderbilt to expose Texas as a fraud this weekend." - Nicole Auerbach, AP voter who did not vote for Texas this week, but voted for her alma mater, Michigan, who lost to OU and has the same 6-2 record as Texas. The good news is that the game still gets to get played. Texas has gone the longest stretch without a home game of an P4 team in the last 25 years - 6 calendar weeks.* It is time for home-cooking. "But CTJ, Vanderbilt is actually good this year!" This Vanderbilt team is fine. Are they good? No. This team is a by-product of a gritty QB with some talent around him on offense, a well-schemed defense and an absolutely dreadful schedule. Vanderbilt is currently 7-1. In the non-con they played Charleston Southern in the FCS, a 3-5 Va Tech, 1-7 Georgia State (Sun Belt) and 4-4 Utah State (Mountain West), who also lost to New Mexico and Hawaii by similar scoring differentials. In those 4 games, Vanderbilt outgained their opponents by 1,083 yards. This Vanderbilt team can punch a midget, that much is certain. How about in the SEC? That's a different story. They've played at South Carolina, at Alabama and then hosted LSU and Missouri. SCar, as predicted, was wildly overrated and sits at 3-5. They have a worse offensive line than Texas. Bama looks like a top 5 team. LSU just fired their coach, in part, for losing to Vanderbilt. Missouri's qb suffered a gruesome lower leg injury and was carted off the field in an inflatable cast while the game was tied 3-3 and Missouri was threatening to score. In these 4 games, including Vandy outgaining LSU by 74 yards, Vanderbilt was collectively outgained by 195 yards. This Vanderbilt team has been playing with a guardian angel watching over them all season. The devil always gets his due, and that payment will be made this weekend at DKR. "Now closetojumping, Diego Pavia is a winner. He's got moxie! He rallies his whole team around his aura and energy!" It was only this week that I learned that "Diego Pavia" literally means "overrated hobo" when translated from Mexican to English. Look, there is no doubt that Pavia is a born and proven leader. That's great for a marginally talented team playing either teams with less talent, teams with comparable talent, or teams who are asleep at the wheel. Luckily for Texas fans, this Texas team has awakened. Suffering near deaths on the road with their backs against the wall, the healthy pulse has been found and the adrenaline is kicking into high gear. All this team is going to hear all week is how they have no choice, even if slightly favored due to home field advantage. They're going to hear the Pavia talk constantly. They're getting asked about him at the press conference today. There will be more of it throughout the week. They'll be reminded of the near loss last season. DIEGO MANIA!! and Vanderbilt is for real!! are memes and topics all over social media. Texas players are being bombarded with this propaganda. Meanwhile, sweet baby Diego has escalated his shittalking and showboating with the press. He continues to state that Vanderbilt is winning the national title. He stated this weekend after the Missouri game that he should be a frontrunner for the Heisman. No one is huffing their own farts with more vigor right now than The Macho Vato. We'll see how much grit is left when Colin Simmons tells Pavia from across the LOS "I'm going to be the last thing you see, bitch!" and then lays the dude out for a sack. Moxie and grittiness carry one only so far against motivated and superior talent. Vanderbilt hasn't faced a defense like Texas. Bama and Mizzou both offer up blueprints to controlling Pavia that Texas can replicate. Keep Pavia in the pocket and shut down the run. Make them beat you by forcing Pavia to sustain drives with his arm, which he cannot do. LSU couldn't stop the run and that killed them. If Missouri doesn't lose contain to the backup TB who then goes 80 yards for a score in the 3rd, among many ifs (don't lose your QB for the season, catch a hail mary inside the end zone, not 3 inches short of one, maybe actually successfully kick more than one field goal, etc.), the defense does well enough for Missouri to win. Teh Major Applewhite and I Am Sam Ehlinger both had moxie and grit. Man, they were so good against lesser and/or sleepy opponents. Without superior firepower for either of those guys, how many wins did they tally up against similarly or more talented teams? They both finished around or below .500 in those match-ups. "Have you seen the Texas offense, CTJ? Have you seen this OLine? You know that, now that Arch Manning is finally putting it all together, he's in concussion protocol and is unlikely to play this weekend, right? You know that Vanderbilt has a good defense, too, right?" Oh ye coelenterates of little faith. Yes, I know that Arch Knoblauch is unlikely to play this weekend. Yes, the Vanderbilt defense has looked good in most of their games. Yes, the Texas offensive line has mostly been hammered dogshit. None of that will matter come Saturday, as The Matt Bomber Offense will be on full display. Caldwell was a quiet pick-up from the portal for this specific reason - at some point this year, Manning was likely to miss time. QB is a tough position and the SEC is a tough league. Caldwell has looked good all fall and has gained the trust of his team. His clutch moment this past Saturday only helps solidify that. More importantly than anything else, Caldwell's biggest strength is that he can actually complete most of the layups this offense can offer him. Now, will Ryan Wingo and Deandre Moore actually catch those layups? One can only hope. As to the OL, they've shown some signs of coming together. Their play in the second half of the MSU game might be a fluke, but we've seen similar glimpses in the second half of the OU game as well. If we complete a few simple passes throughout various drives, some wear and tear on a vastly outsized front 7 won't hurt things, either. I'll grant that I have less confidence and more hope, which is never a good strategy, when thinking about OL performance coming up, but just like rent on November 1, that unit is due. On the Vanderbilt defense, they're good, but they're not great. They don't force a ton of turnovers unless they're playing South Carolina and injuring Lanoris Sellers. They average less than 3 sacks per game. Vanderbilt does not have a singular dominant force on their defense. They're a collection of older players who are coached well. Texas has done well regarding turnovers this season and there's no reason to think that that will play out differently in this game. If Vanderbilt struggled to get to the passer against SCar and LSU, there's no reason to be overly worried about protecting The Matt Bomber this Saturday. "So what does it all mean, closetojumping?" Well, I am glad you asked. It means mudhole. Or, I should say, this year's version of the mudhole. Texas 31 - Vanderbilt 17. Hook'em
    74 points
  2. That's a great attitude. Forget the last play and move on to the next. Arch is focused on Vandy.
    36 points
  3. I'll go against the internet mob mentality and say that I don't want Sark to leave. I'm hoping the absolute turmoil of this season (some, probably most, of it his own making) turns him into a better person and coach. I'm hoping he can self reflect and make the changes required of him both personally and professionally.
    31 points
  4. first off, that shit sure didn’t look like a cap gun to either me or my mom. i’ve been under the impression that, for a couple of decades now, that we don’t produce pellet guns that look that realistic. but secondly, let’s say that the gun isn’t real. you still think that’s cool? you think you’ve owned me by pointing that out? like it’s cool for some clearly uneducated, redneck, maga dad to have his 3rd/4th grade son practicing open carry like that’s normal? at the methodist church pumpkin patch? that’s your take? third, the knife on the kid was damn sure real. so you tell me: explain to me why a 9 year old needs to carry a gun, either real or fake, and a very real knife, to the local church’s annual pumpkin patch, with both of his parents there with him and his dad open carrying a pistol and a knife. like, if shit pops off and his mom and dead are suddenly shot to death (this is america), like this prepubescent, 70 lb child is going to save himself with his (let’s assume it’s a fake gun) and his knife? that’s what you’re ponding your chest about? what’s the fucking point? stop laughing and explain it to me, cretin.
    30 points
  5. fucking Ana getting dunked on by Derka. lol.
    25 points
  6. I do love her, and her shit talking.
    23 points
  7. I kinda wanna see more of this. Hey, @Derka, I heard Ana was talking shit about Rick Barnes.
    21 points
  8. There are probably three things required of Sark at this point to rebuild his relationship with Surly. It has been rocky. He's gone from "he's a genius! did you see him scheme that Bama WR wide open on a LB!" to "he's a fucking loser" to "Sark's led us out of the desert to the playoffs!" to "seven win Steve rides again" to "he's the reason we got Arch!!!" to "he's the gotdamn reason we got dipshit Arch!!!". To heal the current state of things, based on this 31 page thread, he needs to: (1) clarify whether he actually called the 4th down play in 2005 and/or whether as associate head coach he could have overridden Lane's call and didn't; so he regrets it because he called it or regrets it because he had authority to change the call and didn't, (2) clarify if anyone in his orbit reached out to NFL teams in an effort to leave after this season, and (3) provide a DNA test for this kid in question.
    19 points
  9. Have you seen. Our short yard game. 2nd and 1 becomes second and 6 after the false start. Then a hand off into a pile becomes 3rd and 4 and then holding becomes 3rd and 14.
    18 points
  10. I told you to speak your mind, Pancho, but Jesus....
    17 points
  11. 17 points
  12. They should challenge him to take the exam with them on live TV.
    17 points
  13. This is quite the thread. Some of y'all need therapy. Some of y'all just need a drink. Regardless of the factual accuracy of any of the following, I'm sticking with these priors when I think about Sark and his future at the program: 1) The story was not accurately reported. There may have been some truth to it, but fishing for a raise, gauging interest, backroom fuckery all seem just as likely. By all appearances, Sark likes to recruit and likes coaching in college. Would he move to the NFL? I'm sure he would, I think he probably views NFL headcoach as the pinnacle of the career mountain for a guy like him. But I think he learned enough from a guy like Saban that you need to wait for the right job. Neither Miami or Tennessee are the right job. Y'all need to calm your tits and quit reacting to every rumor and report. 2) Sark has his drinking under control. I don't think the man is sober and, as far as I know, he's never claimed to be. People can be modest drinkers. People can be heavy drinkers who keep that shit from affecting their job. I personally don't really give a shit what Sark does in his free time as long as his coaching doesn't suffer. As far whatever happened this off season, seems more likely to be family oriented than substances abuse. 3) Loreal Sarkisian is a non-entity at the Texas program. I think speculating about their bedroom is tacky and somewhat ridiculous, but whatever, y'all seem to enjoy it so have fun. But y'all are vastly overestimating her significance or impact on this team. I agree that the less you hear / see the HC's wife, the better, but I have not seen her insist on being part of the team's public image. I don't know much about her as a person and I haven't been forced to at any point in the past 5 years. I call that a win and have no interest in changing things. I much more worried about the OL and Manning's concussion status. Worrying about Sark and the NFL is something I will save for January.
    17 points
  14. Imagine coming in here trying to scold posters and calling them degenerate humans while your side is walking around with Nazi flags, kidnapping brown folk and tossing them in the back of unmarked vehicles headed to who knows were.
    17 points
  15. Yes. Yes I do. Nibs housing it, defense going no lube, Arch with the best game of his life, Baxter is back, and we are at home against an Italian Commodore. Caldwell may starts and the home crowd better be salty! I have to believe. We have to believe. What's the fucking point otherwise? Let's fucking GO!
    16 points
  16. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    16 points
  17. sorry, the pistol was on his left hip.
    16 points
  18. 14 points
  19. very easy. he seemed to acknowledge that changing to the spread opened up offense in the 4th, but then goes back to talking about need to to play their style of football. ugh
    14 points
  20. This always cracks me up. Sure, we are almost 4-4, but our 2 losses were by one possession each, on the road. We could also be 8-0. Works both ways. But we are 6-2 and everyone is acting like we are 2-6.
    14 points
  21. I think you are treated equitably here. you have strong opinions and strong opinions always get pushback. I like you as a poster but surely you aren’t under the delusion that other posters aren’t picked on. if it were up to me we’d all treat each other with respect and dignity but unfortunately there are just too many pieces of shit posting here.
    13 points
  22. 12 points
  23. It's destiny. I've already predicted it. Texas and aggy both will win out until Thanksgiving, and then Texas will destroy all of their hopes and dreams by beating them in Austin, in Atlanta, and in the CFP.
    12 points
  24. It’s been five years and he is still bragging about being made to take a cognitive test where he had to correctly identify pictures of animals.
    12 points
  25. I have no idea what race you are, but you’re a terribly shitty poster. Fuck off.
    12 points
  26. Fucking CNN just had a segment β€œFat Boy doesn’t rule out running for a 3rd term” Once again, there is no liberal media. It’s all radical right wing propaganda
    11 points
  27. Diego Pavia, from New Mexico, is Italian?
    11 points
  28. How about everybody settle the fuck down? Some of y'all are coming across like a bunch of 14 year old girls.
    10 points
  29. Question: Is this how any of y'all would talk about a player that fucked your wife? "He's a fantastic player," Sark said late Thursday night. "Matt showed everyone how fast he was with that 40 time, but his short area quickness, how he gets in and out of breaks makes him truly elite. He has extremely strong hands, makes contested catches, can do it at all three levels – whether it's the short game, the intermediate, the deep balls – and he's at his best in the most critical moments. You top that off with the blue-collar attitude he has, the fact that he's a great teammate who you can really count on day in and day out, that's what really separates him. He works, he's no nonsense, he's tough and does the dirty work blocking linebackers, safeties and event defensive ends. All in all, I think this guy is getting all that he deserves, and Green Bay is going to love him."
    10 points
  30. 100%. Perspective is valuable here too. We're currently 6-2, coming off of b2b CFP semis. We've put a record number of players into the NFL, and the O-line was heavily impacted by that. People who judge a coach on that one season's results are dumb, you need to consider a rolling couple of years average. Sark looks good on that metric. Not perfect. But if your standard is that Texas should compete for the national title every year, you're unreasonable because no one does that. "Yeah we're 6-2 but a hair's width from being 4-4!" ...except we aren't. "Yeah but in the NIL/portal era there is no excuse for being young/inexperienced" ...ok? Coaching staff woulda coulda gotten better players via the portal this offseason, but there is no magical supply of the players we need either, and while we do have money to get players, the "money whip" thing is not real, because top-end players have a decision process that involves more than money. Ahmed Hardy would not have come to Texas to sit behind Baxter and Wisner. "Yeah but Sark's OTA/NFL focused offseason was too soft and created a bad culture!" ...the same culture that just pulled together for b2b OT wins. "Yeah but Sark is flirting with the NFL that that hurts my feels!" ...you'd prefer a coach that doesn't aspire to move up? And yes, coaching a NFL team is a move up in prestige in the coaching world. ANY call to fire Sark, or force an OC on him which is the same as firing him, needs to be weighed against the alternative. Remember: you're just as likely, maybe even more likely, to end up with Charlie Strong 2.0 or Tom Herman 2.0 than the next Saban. It's easy to bitch but you're rolling the dice every time you hire, ask OU.
    10 points
  31. The amount of coaches who are going to line up for this job just to get paid to walk away later will be staggering
    10 points
  32. I can't help these assholes. They're way too far gone
    10 points
  33. Wordle 1,591 3/6* ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 πŸ™‚ Daily Quordle 1372 6️⃣4️⃣ 8️⃣3️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 🟩🟨⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨🟨⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬜🟨⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
    10 points
  34. normally i wouldn’t take medical advice from a non-doctor on twitter, but this guy seems to know his stuff.
    10 points
  35. 1. This is the dumbest argument about that game. Reggie Bush was never getting the ball that play because it was short yardage. Lendale White was getting it. Jesus Christ himself lining up in the backfield wouldn't have been a decoy. White had been shoving it down our throats all second half and any other call would have been dumb. Plus Bush was way more likely to get stopped short of the LOS (also more likely to break a big run but that's not what they needed). 2. Steve Sarkisian wasn't the OC and wasn't calling plays, ding dong.
    10 points
  36. How about we don’t and we start being realistic about our capabilities? The war on drugs has literally been going on as long as I’ve been alive. Drugs won. Or most charitably, the mechanisms we have tried have failed. We don’t need Iraq II as a neighbor. It’s like everyone got amnesia and forgot about all our nation building attempts post 1954. Hint: They’ve been pretty disastrous.
    10 points
  37. 9 points
  38. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/26/us/politics/iowa-trump-economy.html
    9 points
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