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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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3 hours ago, Anastasis said:

"How much is in a pint?"

reply with "US pint or Imperial pint"?

On 2/2/2019 at 10:37 AM, tbone_ said:

Wait. You are the one going to the store?

And making your own sandwiches?

  • Popular Post

Ms CL tells me over the weekend, "I have a low tire, can you put air in it?"

It was an inopportune time to tell me this, so I promptly forgot. (I fully admit that I need to be nagged about stuff like this because I'm not going to remember her saying it as I'm walking into a gym to coach a basketball game or whatever... I don't drive her car every day - I don't seen the warning lights to remind me)

She goes to the gym early this morning and comes in the front door instead of the garage. Can you please take my car to put air in the tire? It's starting to make a noise it's so low." (oh shit) I knew right away what I was going to find. 

One look at it and it's flat. The warning message in the car says, "Loss of pressure in tire. Proceed with extreme caution." Run flats and there is no spare. I'm driving out of the neighborhood and it's making the BUMP-BUMP-BUMP-BUMP noise of a flat tire. Jesus Christ. She drove on it all weekend up and down the freeway like this, including this morning to the gym. 

I take it to the local Buccees to put air in it (the fuel light was also on, so I filled that up) and plan on taking it to the dealer this morning. Get it home and I can hear the air hissing out of it. 

"How long has it been like that?"

"Since last Saturday" (a WEEK like this)

"And did you have the same message? Loss of pressure"

"Yeah, but it's run flat so I figured it wasn't that big a deal."

My guess is that we're looking at at least two new run flat tires and that it will run about $800-1000 installed and balanced at the damn dealership. Sometimes if you catch those things early they can be patched, but not after a whole fucking week. 

SMDH

FWIW, some of you from the old site might remember the story of her calling me from the parking garage of the OB-GYN's office that she had "hit something" and kept on driving because she didn't want to miss her appointment, could I please come change out her tire. I got there to find this:

Shredded%20Tire.JPG

 

That car was a $24k 2003 Honda Accord. This car is a $70k Audi Q7. Some things never change except the price tag of her stupidity. 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn

I don't work on Fridays and that's the day I do laundry. Why do I do it? Because I want it to get done. I gather up the hampers and do all of the laundry. Wife can't understand why I don't try to decode her piles of clothes on the bed and on her dresser and wash what she wants washed. I told her it's simple: put the clothes you are done with and want washed into the hamper. How am I supposed to know what's dirty? Tone.

39 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

"How long has it been "And did you have the same message? Loss of pressure"

"Yeah, but it's run flat so I figured it wasn't that big a deal."

tenor.gif?itemid=7713620

On 2/2/2019 at 10:24 AM, Upgrayedd said:

Oh boy.  The storm clouds of a fight are brewing.

The Avatar is on some natural food kick for the dogs.  Bought some shit that comes in individual packets and needs to be frozen after x number of days.  Ok.  That’s her gig.  Go for it.

My dog is on meds for a mast tumor issue (pretty much under control); however, she does get meds twice a day.  The preferred delivery method is wrapped in lunch meat.  The packaged stuff.  Same that I throw on my sandwich.

So I am on my way to the store this morning and ask the Avatar if she needs anything.

A:  We need lunch meat.

M: What happened to all the turkey from the deli counter?

A:  Used it for pills.

M: Well if I am getting lunch meat for dogs, I’m getting the cheap budding stuff.

A: No.  It has to be free range no hormones no additives grass fed (insert whatever additional criteria here)

M:  ???? Just so I understand.  You want me to buy premium lunch meat for the dogs?

A:  Fine.  I’ll do it myself.

 

Cheap peanut butter for the win. 

8 minutes ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

Cheap peanut butter for the win. 

Free range peanut butter is better for the dog.

1 hour ago, Jerry Callo said:

Free range peanut butter is better for the dog.

Caging and slaughtering peanuts is inhumane. 

Fail for Crimson not having a compressor in the garage.

3 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

(the fuel light was also on, so I filled that up)

We know - you didn't have to include that part of the story. 

59 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Fail for Crimson not having a compressor in the garage.

I used to. Moved it to my farm this summer when I built my workshop out there.

Maybe I need a new one. 

On 2/2/2019 at 9:37 AM, tbone_ said:

Wait. You are the one going to the store?

I do the cooking.  She does the cleanup.  She can't cook for shit.  It's better this way, trust me.

18 hours ago, B1G said:

And making your own sandwiches?

This she can do and does.

14 hours ago, RoundRobin said:

Probably jerking himself off too. 

This she can do and does; however, if you want it done right . . .

2 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

Cheap peanut butter for the win. 

Dog doesn't like peanut butter.  Go figure.  Dog is extremely adept at eating the delivery food and spitting out the pills.

My point was that if you were going the store why was there debate about what to get?

 

2 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

My point was that if you were going the store why was there debate about what to get?

 

Well I suppose I could have picked up the cheap stuff; however, my experience with the "Fine, I'll do it myself" line is that there are some repercussions (unwarranted as they may be).  Just wanted to avoid that bullshit.

I picked up standard stuff.  No arguments.  In fact, she has come to the realization that the whole natural food thing for the dogs (with the individually packaged meals) may not be best anyway.  Coincidentally, the company wanted $220 for the next month's supply and I opted out of that contribution.  

   Built a theater room out of our upstairs gameroom. Go down to the local spot to see theater home theater showroom. She okays the projector and such but puts the veto on the built in wall/ceiling speakers. We sit down for the inaugural theater room movie night and she starts commenting on how the speakers look like shit sitting out like that.

 

Me.....

 

tumblr_n6zdmspPiE1skh0gdo1_400.gif

I don’t even know where to start on this

Well I suppose I could have picked up the cheap stuff; however, my experience with the "Fine, I'll do it myself" line is that there are some repercussions (unwarranted as they may be).  Just wanted to avoid that bullshit.
I picked up standard stuff.  No arguments.  In fact, she has come to the realization that the whole natural food thing for the dogs (with the individually packaged meals) may not be best anyway.  Coincidentally, the company wanted $220 for the next month's supply and I opted out of that contribution.  
Just keep the old expensive food bag and put the cheap food in it. The dogs won't be able to tell.
1 hour ago, Modessit said:
4 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:
Well I suppose I could have picked up the cheap stuff; however, my experience with the "Fine, I'll do it myself" line is that there are some repercussions (unwarranted as they may be).  Just wanted to avoid that bullshit.
I picked up standard stuff.  No arguments.  In fact, she has come to the realization that the whole natural food thing for the dogs (with the individually packaged meals) may not be best anyway.  Coincidentally, the company wanted $220 for the next month's supply and I opted out of that contribution.  

Just keep the old expensive food bag and put the cheap food in it. The dogs won't be able to tell.

I think he just called your wife a dog.

52 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

Crimson if that's a true story I recommend just shooting her now.

No way.  Crimson's wife brings the lulz to this thread as good as anyone outside of Mrs. Cumsteen.

Yes she does. I remember Mrs. Speedtrucker also used to have some good ones at the old place.

2 hours ago, ABSR said:

I think he just called your wife a dog.

Well, she is actually my live-in girlfriend of 12 years.  

The ex-wife is a bitch though.  So there’s that.

Funny story about that rug. Several months ago my SIL wanted to come visit. My wife asks me if she can bring her dog and if the dog can be in the house. I said of course. SIL shows up with her dog and 8 puppies no more than 3 weeks old. Wife knew about the puppies but forgot to let me know about that little detail.

Guess who got to go buy the cheapest rug they could find so the dogs could stay in the garage?

Got that beat. My wife I went away for the weekend. She had my MIL come stay at the house to watch the kids. Bad idea jeans. Now, my MIL doesn’t come to visit often because the amount of emotional baggage and complications she brings is ridic.
To minimize this, I offered to pay to kennel her dogs but she proceeds to tell me that they can’t be kenneled because one has a liver problem so it can’t get the kennel cough shot. So why not board one? Because they get lonely when separated. They’re house trained right? Of course my wife tells me.

We get home from our trip and the kids proceed to tell me how stressful it was with Grammy. That she let her dogs do whatever they wanted and that one of them pee’d in the house. My first reaction was, ok a dog had an accident... That’s ok. After all, my wife verified the dogs were house broken so it couldn’t have been that bad...right? Well one of her little shitty dogs pissed on our new rug not once, not twice, but six times!!! In the same spot! Six fucking times!

Of course after reading Mitch’s epic threads, I gain a little perspective... Thanks for sharing, Mitch.

1 hour ago, William_Cannon said:

Well one of her little shitty dogs pissed on our new rug not once, not twice, but six times!!! In the same spot! Six fucking times!

You sure it was one of the dogs, bro? 

thug-peeing-rug-thumb.jpg

12 hours ago, tbone_ said:

I don’t even know where to start on this

Hey man, I was just trying to keep the peace.

8 hours ago, William_Cannon said:


Got that beat. My wife I went away for the weekend. She had my MIL come stay at the house to watch the kids. Bad idea jeans. Now, my MIL doesn’t come to visit often because the amount of emotional baggage and complications she brings is ridic.
To minimize this, I offered to pay to kennel her dogs but she proceeds to tell me that they can’t be kenneled because one has a liver problem so it can’t get the kennel cough shot. So why not board one? Because they get lonely when separated. They’re house trained right? Of course my wife tells me.

We get home from our trip and the kids proceed to tell me how stressful it was with Grammy. That she let her dogs do whatever they wanted and that one of them pee’d in the house. My first reaction was, ok a dog had an accident... That’s ok. After all, my wife verified the dogs were house broken so it couldn’t have been that bad...right? Well one of her little shitty dogs pissed on our new rug not once, not twice, but six times!!! In the same spot! Six fucking times!

Of course after reading Mitch’s epic threads, I gain a little perspective... Thanks for sharing, Mitch.
 

Would have been cheaper to kennel the kids and tell the MIL to stay home.

8 hours ago, Thatguy said:

Hey man, I was just trying to keep the peace.

Thank your wife. I have no idea what speakers you ended up buying, but they are better than whatever in wall speakers you wanted. 

22 minutes ago, JSB said:

Thank your wife. I have no idea what speakers you ended up buying, but they are better than whatever in wall speakers you wanted. 

Klipsch.............either way

Edited by Thatguy

2 hours ago, Thatguy said:

Klipsch.............either way

Good brand, but they vary widely. Unless the in-walls have a built in enclosure, you are going to get much better sound (especially for the money) from free-standing speakers. I've got a Klipsch setup myself, and am very happy with them. For my rears and sides though, I went with on-wall speakers. 

sorry for the derail. 

5 hours ago, JSB said:

Thank your wife. I have no idea what speakers you ended up buying, but they are better than whatever in wall speakers you wanted. 

This is wrong. There are plenty of great in wall/ceiling speakers out there. There are also a bunch that are better then "whatever speakers you ended up buying" That leaves it pretty open.... Again there are a bunch of great built ins  esp. with an enclosure like someone above said.  unless of course my sarcasm meter is broken and we are giving him shit for letting his wife have a say then point excepted!

Edited by Eugene11

My point was why the hell would you discuss home theater design specs with her.

21 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

Of course after reading Mitch’s epic threads, I gain a little perspective... Thanks for sharing, Mitch.
 

Sorry to interrupt the hi-fi talk but I don't think I ever talked about my mother in law. Like, for instance, the time at the ranch she gave the keys to her suburban to typhoon mary's 12 year old son and his friend and they promptly got it stuck in the mud. Miracle those kids didn't kill themselves or someone else. 

13 hours ago, tbone_ said:

My point was why the hell would you discuss home theater design specs with her.

   This is the point I understood. However, we have a couple base rules in our household. You don't touch MY garage, tools, or hotrods, and I won't do any upgrades in YOUR house without first running it past you. I honestly don't give a shit where the speakers are placed. The only people that are going to be in that room are neighborhood kids(who also don't give a shit) and us.

Bumping thread for posterity.  There’s no way 4 days have gone by without spousal idiocy 

Bumping thread for posterity.  There’s no way 4 days have gone by without spousal idiocy 

Fine. I make breakfast for the kids. Wife chooses the minute before his breakfast is ready to decide to take him out for a haircut and threatens to not do it if he stays and eats. He chooses to eat.

His ant farm got knocked over, I help him fix it, and connect the top section to the bottom. The sand was very dry so I add a dab of water to the top. Wife has suddenly become the expert on ants and tells me the 1/8 dosage I am adding is too much and I am going to drown the ants.

She complains about the toys being on the floor. So she cleans it up. Toddler comes in and dumps it all on the floor. Then she cleans it up. Toddler comes back in and dumps it. I chortle. I put the toddler to bed and fall asleep. I wake up and the toys are still on the floor.

Her: I’d like to know where he gets his cotton from. Does he grown his own sheep?
Me: [emoji23] [emoji38]

2 hours ago, Nivek said:


Fine. I make breakfast for the kids. Wife chooses the minute before his breakfast is ready to decide to take him out for a haircut and threatens to not do it if he stays and eats. He chooses to eat.

His ant farm got knocked over, I help him fix it, and connect the top section to the bottom. The sand was very dry so I add a dab of water to the top. Wife has suddenly become the expert on ants and tells me the 1/8 dosage I am adding is too much and I am going to drown the ants.

She complains about the toys being on the floor. So she cleans it up. Toddler comes in and dumps it all on the floor. Then she cleans it up. Toddler comes back in and dumps it. I chortle. I put the toddler to bed and fall asleep. I wake up and the toys are still on the floor.

Did the ants have a good time?  Asking for dirtbike.

On 2/5/2019 at 6:02 PM, Eugene11 said:

This is wrong. 

$_3.JPG?set_id=2

Your front speakers should absolutely be modular in their own cabinets, the best you can afford.  The surrounds do not carry the frequencies or the power of impact so they do not necessarily have to be of the same standard.  Always put the most money in the speakers you are facing.  The ones beside you or behind you are for effects and sometimes do not have a bit of signal passing through them.

Wife called me just after I left the house to complain about me not doing something I had already done, then says I'm annoying for not giving her any reason to be annoyed at me...welcome to Monday.

2 hours ago, Doze said:

$_3.JPG?set_id=2

I read it. Didn’t work. Also not my fault there is so much internet intelligence out here. Must be true if you see it on the inter webs. 

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