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Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting


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You wanted something other than the trailer park thread from coach kiss for 2022, here you go. 

I chose a title that could go either way, much like some of you dickheads. 


RIP "Hermancipation Is Nigh" title. You did your job and were perhaps the greatest single thread title in Internet history besides "Go Fuck Yourself, Bret Bielema, You Fat Fucking Retard". 

-ctj 1/14/21

"All Ass, No Takes"

Hot Christ we’re sucking wind. 

-ctj 6/30/21


"Cam Williams Day!"

Unlike Mike Roach, I'm taking a position. Also, if I jinx things the attacks will be delicious.

-ctj 7/1/21


Hahahahaha. "Cam Williams? Nay!"

-ctj 7/1/21

This gonna feel real good, alright? … I’m up all night, whiteboy awesome. 

RIP Mac Miller 

“Whiteboy Awesome Friday”

-ctj 7/2/21

Grim, grim, grim. 

“Don’t Banks On It”

-ctj 7/2/21

Changed to something more appropriate. 

“Oregon Recruiting Notes 2022”

-ctj 7/4/21

”Bend Over & I’ll Show You”

-ctj 7/5/21


"No Justice For All"

My favorite, "the moral arc of the universe bends at the asshole of justice" was simply too long.

-ctj 9/8/21

”No Justice For Alabama” 

Fuck you Nick Saban. 

-ctj 9/9/21

”Dead Screeching Halt”

Seven Win Steve can’t fucking gameplan or adjust to Arkansas. 

-ctj 9/12/21


”OU Sucks, ATM Swallows”

OU week, 4-1. Atm has shit all over itself and smeared it across its face. Texas is 4-1. 

-ctj 10/3/21


"Oh No! We Suck Again!"

Seven Win Steve shit the bed against OU in the worst collapse in program history.

-ctj 10/11/21

”Seven Win Steve Rides Again”

Headed towards needing to beat KSU in order to get to a bowl game. 

-ctj 10/16/21


"Sark's Sweaty, Hairy Buttcheeks Pressed Firmly Against Your Mirror"

--ctj 10/21/21 as requested by @burdine


"Sit Back, Relax, & Enjoy It"

--ctj 10/25/21 in honor of Baylor week and what's happening this season against our will. Shout out to the pure dumbass aggie, Clayton Williams as well.


"The Electric Moped"

No gas necessary, we're getting 500 miles to the gallon on this hog.

--ctj 11/2/21


"Texas Dumpster Fire Notes 2022 - Help Us, Bo Davis. You're Our Only Hope."

Perhaps someone actually giving a shit about winning a fucking game and someone else letting the world know it will have have a karmic upswing in value for the program. 

--ctj 11/9/21

”Drunk & Disorderly”

—ctj 11/13/21


"Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani?"

Only God can save us now.

--ctj 11/15/21 


"12 Years a Knave"

This is our twelfth season of absolute hot garbage for a football team. 

--ctj 11/22/21


"Please Commit To Us, We're Begging You"

Can we have a commit from somebody? Anybody? Please? Good lord.

--ctj 12/2/21


"Who Wants To Be a NILionaire?"

Shout out to @Tony Two K for the title change. @THUJONE also came in strong with "ALL CASH NO BRAKES". Here's hoping Quinn Ewers or some other asshole doesn't force a change to the negative.

--ctj 12/6/21

”The Santa Rally” 

—ctj 12/11/21 LFG


"Bone Dry January"

--ctj 1/3/22


"Lack of Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Off the Rails, Careening Into the Canyon"

The only thing left for this thread to do is to have a poster named @fonzie show up and start posting photos of his recent saltwater skiing vacation.

--ctj 1/6/22


"Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting"

--ctj 1/19/22


Edited by closetojumping
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3 hours ago, Bevo said:

Since future man told me awhile back that there would be no math on this thread, how old are year 2022 recruits? Are we talking teen or pre-teen?

They're all at least two years older than Moro Ojomo. 

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From IT:


ONE TO WATCH: Jamarion Miller, RB/OLB, Tyler Lee (2022).
The younger brother of former John Tyler 4-star WR and Texas signee Damion Miller, made the varsity for the crosstown Red Raiders. The 5-11, 170 pounder is already one of the fastest kids in ETX, known for his track prowess. 

He was supposed to go to JT, like Damion, but they re-zoned the district lines, and Miller fell into Tyler Lee HC Kurt Traylor, who has coached many D1 and professional football players. 
“He could be special,” said Traylor. “Really special.” 


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6 hours ago, texifornia said:

I still can't believe this is the name of this thread but:


So these brothers are in 9th Grade?

I guess that you have to get in early if they're out of state.


I JUST LOOKED THEM UP... They're basketball players, not football players.


Edited by Napoleon
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  • closetojumping changed the title to Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting

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