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Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting


closetojumping

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You wanted something other than the trailer park thread from coach kiss for 2022, here you go. 

I chose a title that could go either way, much like some of you dickheads. 

*****

RIP "Hermancipation Is Nigh" title. You did your job and were perhaps the greatest single thread title in Internet history besides "Go Fuck Yourself, Bret Bielema, You Fat Fucking Retard". 

-ctj 1/14/21

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"All Ass, No Takes"

Hot Christ we’re sucking wind. 

-ctj 6/30/21

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"Cam Williams Day!"

Unlike Mike Roach, I'm taking a position. Also, if I jinx things the attacks will be delicious.

-ctj 7/1/21

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Hahahahaha. "Cam Williams? Nay!"

-ctj 7/1/21

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This gonna feel real good, alright? … I’m up all night, whiteboy awesome. 

RIP Mac Miller 

“Whiteboy Awesome Friday”

-ctj 7/2/21

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Grim, grim, grim. 

“Don’t Banks On It”

-ctj 7/2/21

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Changed to something more appropriate. 

“Oregon Recruiting Notes 2022”

-ctj 7/4/21

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”Bend Over & I’ll Show You”

-ctj 7/5/21

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"No Justice For All"

My favorite, "the moral arc of the universe bends at the asshole of justice" was simply too long.

-ctj 9/8/21

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”No Justice For Alabama” 

Fuck you Nick Saban. 

-ctj 9/9/21

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”Dead Screeching Halt”

Seven Win Steve can’t fucking gameplan or adjust to Arkansas. 

-ctj 9/12/21

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”OU Sucks, ATM Swallows”

OU week, 4-1. Atm has shit all over itself and smeared it across its face. Texas is 4-1. 

-ctj 10/3/21

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"Oh No! We Suck Again!"

Seven Win Steve shit the bed against OU in the worst collapse in program history.

-ctj 10/11/21

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”Seven Win Steve Rides Again”

Headed towards needing to beat KSU in order to get to a bowl game. 

-ctj 10/16/21

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"Sark's Sweaty, Hairy Buttcheeks Pressed Firmly Against Your Mirror"

--ctj 10/21/21 as requested by @burdine

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"Sit Back, Relax, & Enjoy It"

--ctj 10/25/21 in honor of Baylor week and what's happening this season against our will. Shout out to the pure dumbass aggie, Clayton Williams as well.

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"The Electric Moped"

No gas necessary, we're getting 500 miles to the gallon on this hog.

--ctj 11/2/21

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"Texas Dumpster Fire Notes 2022 - Help Us, Bo Davis. You're Our Only Hope."

Perhaps someone actually giving a shit about winning a fucking game and someone else letting the world know it will have have a karmic upswing in value for the program. 

--ctj 11/9/21

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”Drunk & Disorderly”

—ctj 11/13/21

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"Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani?"

Only God can save us now.

--ctj 11/15/21 

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"12 Years a Knave"

This is our twelfth season of absolute hot garbage for a football team. 

--ctj 11/22/21

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"Please Commit To Us, We're Begging You"

Can we have a commit from somebody? Anybody? Please? Good lord.

--ctj 12/2/21

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"Who Wants To Be a NILionaire?"

Shout out to @Tony Two K for the title change. @THUJONE also came in strong with "ALL CASH NO BRAKES". Here's hoping Quinn Ewers or some other asshole doesn't force a change to the negative.

--ctj 12/6/21

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”The Santa Rally” 

—ctj 12/11/21 LFG

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"Bone Dry January"

--ctj 1/3/22

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"Lack of Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Off the Rails, Careening Into the Canyon"

The only thing left for this thread to do is to have a poster named @fonzie show up and start posting photos of his recent saltwater skiing vacation.

--ctj 1/6/22

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"Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting"

--ctj 1/19/22

 

Edited by closetojumping
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3 hours ago, Bevo said:

Since future man told me awhile back that there would be no math on this thread, how old are year 2022 recruits? Are we talking teen or pre-teen?

They're all at least two years older than Moro Ojomo. 

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  • 5 weeks later...
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From IT:

Quote

ONE TO WATCH: Jamarion Miller, RB/OLB, Tyler Lee (2022).
The younger brother of former John Tyler 4-star WR and Texas signee Damion Miller, made the varsity for the crosstown Red Raiders. The 5-11, 170 pounder is already one of the fastest kids in ETX, known for his track prowess. 

He was supposed to go to JT, like Damion, but they re-zoned the district lines, and Miller fell into Tyler Lee HC Kurt Traylor, who has coached many D1 and professional football players. 
“He could be special,” said Traylor. “Really special.” 

 

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  • 1 month later...
6 hours ago, texifornia said:

I still can't believe this is the name of this thread but:

 

So these brothers are in 9th Grade?

I guess that you have to get in early if they're out of state.

#1stPage

I JUST LOOKED THEM UP... They're basketball players, not football players.
 

 

Edited by Napoleon
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  • closetojumping changed the title to Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting

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