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Posted
1 hour ago, Captain Lurker said:
Spoiler

As an Aggie, I'm used to feeling inferior to our in-state rival, the University of Texas.

Our last football title happened during the Clinton administration. Our claim to fame is the fake military that parades around campus. While UT students get a taste of big city living in Austin, Aggies are left with, well, whatever it is you do for fun in College Station (I never quite figured it out). 

I've made peace with it. I loved my time at Texas A&M. I made good friends, got a degree, and am gainfully employed. I come from a long line of Aggies, and though I was taught to loathe the color orange, I even befriended a few T-Sips, some of whom are valued friends and colleagues. 

But I'm more than a little miffed about an under-the-radar aspect of the A&M - UT rivalry: the celebs, alum and not, who hang around the Forty Acres. I asked my newsroom colleagues to name some famous Longhorns, and I must admit that the sheer number of A-listers that have passed through Austin is impressive.

Wes Anderson. Matthew McConaughey. Owen Wilson. Walter Cronkite. Jayne Mansfield. Glen Powell. Jon Hamm (don't look up why Hamm never graduated). Trevante Rhodes. Kevin Durant. Richard Linklater. Xavier Worthy. Farah Fawcett. Janis Joplin. Roger Clemens. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Renee Zellweger. Kinky Friedman. One of the guys from the Velvet Underground. Governors. Congressmen. A First Lady. Christ almighty, maybe what starts in Austin really does change the world.

By comparison, the roster of former A&M students is thin. Former Disney star Tiffany Thornton? Fightin' Texas Aggie. Oscar nominee and character actor Rip Torn? Class of '52, baby. George P. Mitchell probably wouldn't have been able to develop the Woodlands without a degree from the Texas A&M University. Rick Perry. Martín Torrijos, the 35th president of Panama. My grandmother saw distinguished alum Lyle Lovett play a show at a small bar near campus once. The guy who designed the Burj Khalifa. I mean no offense to Rip Torn, who was hilarious in Freddy Got Fingered, but this is embarrassing, guys. 

I get it, on some level. Texas A&M can't hold a candle to UT's radio and film program. If you want to get into showbusiness or journalism, UT is the place to go. But plenty of business leaders, inventors and politicians have gone through Aggieland. We've had some sports icons, too. Mike Evans is cool. Von Miller is an alum, even if he's not that into us. Dude Perfect was fun when I was in middle school. Johnny Manziel was cool before, well, everything. Robert Earl Keen has some great records. I can live with this.

What really grinds my gears, however, is the differences in celebrities who have attached themselves to Texas' flagship schools. 

Nowhere was the disparity bigger than last fall. After the Longhorns demolished Oklahoma in the Red River Rivalry game in October, pop superstar Dua Lipa donned a custom Texas jersey during her set at Austin City Limits Music Festival. Who showed up to rep my school that season? None other than perennial Arizona also-ran Kari Lake, who hung out on the sidelines of the Aug. 31 season opener in a maroon "HOWDY" shirt as a guest of Ted Cruz. Texas A&M lost that game 13-23 to Duke, and Lake would lose her race for U.S. Senate to Democrat Ruben Gallego months later. Lake went to Iowa. Why is she at my alma mater? George H.W. Bush's name is all over College Station, and he went to Yale. And when Drake has attached himself to your brand in this day and age, something has gone terribly wrong. 

If Kendrick Lamar was right that Drake runs to Atlanta when he needs street cred, then celebs, Texan or not, run to College Station when they need to borrow some Real Texas Authenticity™. When conservative influencers do live shows, they head to College Station. While Matthew McConaughey teaches classes at UT, we got a Richard Spencer rally. After his acquittal in 2022, Kyle Rittenhouse declared his intention to attend Texas A&M University (he was never accepted). 

A&M's conservative reputation is well-earned. This is a school that, for much of its history, was an all-male military school. Tradition, honor, integrity—these are Aggie values (although many would argue that so is racism and exclusion). It is, at first glance, the place for stuffy engineers and guys who want nothing more than an MBA. It is not the spot for artsy outcasts. 

But maybe UT just has better branding. The Longhorn logo is timeless and has been slapped on every piece of merchandise you can think of. Burnt orange is inescapable in Texas and often spotted all across the world. During a visit to the mall recently, I noticed that the store sold three trendy fashion baseball caps: Yankees, Dodgers and Longhorns. Just like C-listers and right-wing media types want a piece of Aggieland, there's a reason celebs want to rep burnt orange. It's a brand meant to signal prestige, good taste, nice upbringing. It says, "I am someone."

Maybe this is just my little brother complex talking; it is a little ridiculous to be annoyed by the people who attach themselves to your alma mater. I guess it's up to me to be the coolest person who went to Texas A&M. But then again, I paid all that tuition. Is it too much to ask that we get Pedro Pascal in something maroon and white? 

 

  • Hook 'Em 3
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Posted
3 hours ago, msucolt45 said:

The aggy “Pat” sports writer is hilarious believing what he/she’s been spoon fed.

The Texas Longhorns are a National/Worldwide brand.  aggy is a Slovacek sausage and Buc-ee’s sponsored Texas brand.

Hook’em!!!

I don't think aggy Pat™ believes what (s)he serves the ag faithful. I find it quite likely that the gag is just too much fun, and now profitable from the clicks, to abandon.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted

M.O. - Youngsters to Surly might have to Google Foo “aggy Pat,” as in Saturday Night Live - Pat.  Gracias for picking up what I was putting down!

Hook’em!!!

  • Hook 'Em 1

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