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Posted
They’re in a really tough spot this offseason. Reed fucking sucks, but they may be stuck with him. 

They’ll harness the power of the hwy6 feed store NIL slush fund and bring in thebestest quarterback ever that they can bench by our game next year.
Posted

I just got back home from taking recycling to Navasota.  Highway 6 southbound between Collie Station and Navasota is packed and crawling about 45 or 50 mph.  That's a lot of sad aggys heading home at once.  Pooooor aggys!

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Posted
On 11/15/2023 at 1:20 PM, Pancho said:

 

This reminds me of this tweet: 

 

 

 

You see, everyone, Texas A&M is about one thing and one thing only—manufacturing.

Texas A&M lives off the lore of manufacturing so much that their fan base has tried to will it into existence. It doesn’t matter what it is, they’ll manufacture something to make them seem like part of the big boys when the evidence is staring them in the face that they are not. They have made manufacturing into a degree plan.

Your first class is Manufacturing 101: Is Texas A&M a college football blue blood? Of course the fuck not. No one in America would put Texas A&M in this category-------except A&M fans. Why? Because they believe their weird and slavery-ridden traditions make them a cool school, they have milkmen and not women cheerleaders and that makes them cool, they put up a scoreboard for their dead mascots and that makes them unique, and their JROTC won’t let you walk on the grass on their campus and that’s a phenomenal tradition. Having traditions is one thing, but having iconic traditions is a different class. These aren’t iconic traditions rather they are traditions that a&m has manufactured to believe this makes them one of the top college football programs in the country and they deserve to be in the same breath as Texas, Ohio State, Alabama, USC, LSU, Georgia, Michigan, Nebraska, etc. You must pass Manufacturing 101 with a C or better before you can move on to the next class, unless you get permission from the department chair (Looch).

The next class taken by aggies is Manufacturing 201: This class involves knowing who the biggest, most bestest rivals are and how that makes you a power program because these rivalries are the tops in college football today, yesterday, and forever. The first is Texas (you better call it tee-yeww). Part of passing this class is to manufacture dates that make A&M look good. Since 1975? Good! From 1909 to 1917? Excellent! From 1984-1994? THE BESTEST! Since the Geneva Convention? I mean, does it make us look good then YES!  See, for aggies, they do not know or understand the word “arbitrary” as that word wasn’t taught in Manufacturing 101. It’s all about which dates make aggies look better when it comes to playing Texas so they can boast about that time frame AND THAT TIME FRAME ONLY! Oh, and Manufacturing 201 wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the a&M/Texas rivalry is one of the top 5 in the country along with Alabama/Auburn and Michigan/Ohio State.  Not one person in the world believes this except aggies. Why? Because that ties into Manufacturing 101, that they are a top football program because top programs have top 5 rivalry games. They will also tell you that Texas fans secretly know their main rival is a&M and not ou. You read that right—they will tell another fan base who their rival really is because they believe it to be them because that makes them look better. If you don’t believe me, just ask LSU who (crazily enough) wants nothing to do with a&M and also thinks they are cooky. But aggies will try to tell LSU fans “we are your rival, and you must play us on rivalry weekend!” even when LSU is like “wtf?!?!!!! You can’t tell us who we are to you, that’s not how it works!”  Manufacturing 201 is a Pass/Fail class.

Finally, we have Manufacturing 301, your senior level class: This is the class where you put it all together. This is a Work Study class. This is where you go out into the wild and put everything you’ve learned together in 101 and 201 and report back your results to texags. You tell others that yes, you are a top tier program and you explain why despite the lack of trophies and no National Championship in 84 years. You tell others why you are top tier and include such things that have not yielded you any National Championships in any major men’s sports in 84 years such as lots of money, pimp canes, swagcopters, arena and baseball park renovations, and just in general boasting about superficial things no top tier program boasts about. You let others know you have the greatest recruiting class in the history of recruiting classes and how that makes you a blue blood, top tier program when that recruiting class has returned 0 trophies of any kind! You stay strong in your belief despite the pushback from the rest of the country. You demand Texas and LSU think of you as equals and that they are your “real rivals” despite them looking at you like a frozen turtle at a news conference! HOLD AGS! HOLD! This is your test. Why? Because you built a Hall of Champions that has nothing but 4 track and field and 11 meat judging National Championship trophies and nothing of note for football, men’s basketball, or baseball. While the first thing you see when walking in is the women’s basketball NC trophy lighting up the Hall of Champions like a Motel 6 blue light leading a meth head to water after working the streets in Lufkin, you look at it and cherish that. That’s what aggies do because it’s not all about those meaningless trophies. As KatyOldAg94 said on texags: “The Hall of Champions is about the spirit and honor of aggie athletes as champions.”  Ahh yes, yet another example of manufacturing.

Once you’ve graduated from Manufacturing at a&m, you’re ready. You’re ready to lead the world and tell them about aggie lore and that everyone just misunderstands you. You make commercials letting people know you’re not weird, yet you put up billboards in every SEC town saying they’ve been “annexed by aggie nation.” Yet that’s not weird or cult-like behavior. No sir, not in any way. It’s just “spirit.”

While Texas, Texas Tech, TCU, UH, and other fans in this state have dealt with this for years, others are quickly finding out—Texas A&M is about nothing more than manufacturing. They’ve done it for over a century in the past, they’ll do it today, and after this new hire, they’ll continue to do it again. Why? Because that’s the aggie way!

Whoop!


 

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