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Nice Guy Eddie

Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

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On 11/11/2019 at 7:50 PM, tbone_ said:

Smoke that bitch

 

On 11/11/2019 at 7:51 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

or fry the btich.

Little harsh on the MIL, fellas*

 

* Fuck it, already multi-quoted and wasn't wasting it because MIL jokes have already been posted.  

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13 minutes ago, Underdog said:

 

Little harsh on the MIL, fellas*

 

* Fuck it, already multi-quoted and wasn't wasting it because MIL jokes have already been posted.  

HEH HEH, Aside from the fact my MIL is certifiably, bat shit, crazy, she's a nice lady who's always been that way to me. So my comment was strictly for the bird.

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This is my first Thanksgiving as a divorced father.  I'll have my son this year.  We're going to my parents' place - only problem is my Vietnam vet, ptsd, conspiracy theory totin', loud as hell, former barfly Uncle will be there, too.  It's going to be a long day of him talking so everyone in the house can hear his latest rumblings.  Dude can't read a room.

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10 minutes ago, Nuge said:

This is my first Thanksgiving as a divorced father.  I'll have my son this year.  We're going to my parents' place - only problem is my Vietnam vet, ptsd, conspiracy theory totin', loud as hell, former barfly Uncle will be there, too.  It's going to be a long day of him talking so everyone in the house can hear his latest rumblings.  Dude can't read a room.

Good luck.

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On 11/8/2019 at 7:16 PM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Told it on the old site. About 4 years ago. We spent the weekend at in laws ranch west of Fredericksburg. As usual, I brought & grilled the steaks. Pleasant time until later in evening when I went to listen to old drunken FIL hold court and yell at the stars while my wife & her mom sipped wine in the house.

 

FIL kept downing his cheap scotch & bitching about the world. No CR, but he's been a no count leech most of his life. Lived off his dad's success and his wife's hard work despite being given every advantage.

 

At one point he decided to unholster his Glock, drawing it right across my path in the process of putting it on his work table . He's deaf & has arthritis so bad he can barely clutch his ever present smokes & booze. I dove hard to the side to get out of the way of his barrel.

 

When he saw me duck he said "what's your problem?" I yelled back "what the hell ever happened to the first rule of gun safety?"

 

He picked it back up, stared at it, said "it's safe" and pointed it dead at me before putting it back on his bench.

 

We left at dawn. I didn't tell my wife about it until a few months later. She didn't tell her mom until a year ago when they wondered why we'd been absent for so long. Turns out he's had other similar incidents. My MIL recorded him on her phone last spring drunkenly messing with his sidearm. Showed it to him the next day. He had no memory of it. Scared him straight, so much he didn't drink for 5 whole days.

 

Now he's back to his drinking and then some. MIL brushes it off with the rest of the family, but my wife is holding her ground. If he's drinking & his guns are available we're not going. A cocked up mess all around.

 

966197.jpg

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2 hours ago, Nuge said:

This is my first Thanksgiving as a divorced father.  I'll have my son this year.  We're going to my parents' place - only problem is my Vietnam vet, ptsd, conspiracy theory totin', loud as hell, former barfly Uncle will be there, too.  It's going to be a long day of him talking so everyone in the house can hear his latest rumblings.  Dude can't read a room.

You’re dealing with a high stress time during the holidays, dealing with your recent divorce...

 

License to drop serious bombs on shithead, loudmouth uncle?  Hell, the situation demands it.

 

In all seriousness, good luck and most of all- make the most of your time with your son!

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3 hours ago, Nuge said:

This is my first Thanksgiving as a divorced father.  I'll have my son this year.  We're going to my parents' place - only problem is my Vietnam vet, ptsd, conspiracy theory totin', loud as hell, former barfly Uncle will be there, too.  It's going to be a long day of him talking so everyone in the house can hear his latest rumblings.  Dude can't read a room.

Charlie don't read!!

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We're going out to western Kansas to my stepdad's farm for Thanksgiving where they will somehow pack a million family members in a small ranch style home. There's no cable so Fox News cannot be prominently displayed. Instead, they will act out their own Fox News style news channel with their favorite GOP talkings points of the day bereft of any logic or creative thinking. I will be downing copious amounts of beers and probably out shooting guns to alleviate the stress.

Then, for xmas we will be going to Birmingham to be around my MiL and SiL who are both full blown alcoholics and both are batshit nuts. There's always a drunken incident or two involving the sister. Should be fun. And the mom is a narcissist with borderline personality disorder. The sister desperately needs to go to rehab as she is completely dependent on alcohol at this point and she's bipolar. CAN'T. WAIT.

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Well, there's still 175 miles of country between that airport and the Western Kansas border.  And I know almost every inch of that area, and not in a good way.

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My sis, lives in NYC and is a crazy psycho liberal, practices seagull management during the holidays.  Flies in, shits all over everything, then bails leaving us to deal with the mess.  She hates my stepmother with every ounce of her soul and stepmom's unwavering support of Trump has only exacerbated the feelings.

 

Last year, she brought her dog that shits and pisses on everything to my Dad and stepmom’s house.  Stepmom had just spent a considerable sum of money redoing large portions of the house.  At some point, my sister is out shopping or something and my stepmom locked the dog in a room to avoid having the dog shit and piss all over her house (sidenote, Stepmom has a yip dog that shits and pisses all over their house).  Sister’s dog goes apeshit being locked up and claws/scratches/bites up 2 brand new doors, completely ruining them.  Meltdown ensues by both parties where various insults are thrown and ends with my mother in law forcing my dad to give my sister a bill for about $7k to fix the doors and my sister telling my dad his wife is a cunt and he should divorce her even though they’ve been married for 30 years.  Nobody has spoken in a year but sis is coming back this year with the dog.  Can’t wait.  Thanksgiving!

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7 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

My sis, lives in NYC and is a crazy psycho liberal, practices seagull management during the holidays.  Flies in, shits all over everything, then bails leaving us to deal with the mess.  She hates my stepmother with every ounce of her soul and stepmom's unwavering support of Trump has only exacerbated the feelings.

 

Last year, she brought her dog that shits and pisses on everything to my Dad and stepmom’s house.  Stepmom had just spent a considerable sum of money redoing large portions of the house.  At some point, my sister is out shopping or something and my stepmom locked the dog in a room to avoid having the dog shit and piss all over her house (sidenote, Stepmom has a yip dog that shits and pisses all over their house).  Sister’s dog goes apeshit being locked up and claws/scratches/bites up 2 brand new doors, completely ruining them.  Meltdown ensues by both parties where various insults are thrown and ends with my mother in law forcing my dad to give my sister a bill for about $7k to fix the doors and my sister telling my dad his wife is a cunt and he should divorce her even though they’ve been married for 30 years.  Nobody has spoken in a year but sis is coming back this year with the dog.  Can’t wait.  Thanksgiving!

Subscribed.

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8 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

My sis, lives in NYC and is a crazy psycho liberal, practices seagull management during the holidays.  Flies in, shits all over everything, then bails leaving us to deal with the mess.  She hates my stepmother with every ounce of her soul and stepmom's unwavering support of Trump has only exacerbated the feelings.

 

Last year, she brought her dog that shits and pisses on everything to my Dad and stepmom’s house.  Stepmom had just spent a considerable sum of money redoing large portions of the house.  At some point, my sister is out shopping or something and my stepmom locked the dog in a room to avoid having the dog shit and piss all over her house (sidenote, Stepmom has a yip dog that shits and pisses all over their house).  Sister’s dog goes apeshit being locked up and claws/scratches/bites up 2 brand new doors, completely ruining them.  Meltdown ensues by both parties where various insults are thrown and ends with my mother in law forcing my dad to give my sister a bill for about $7k to fix the doors and my sister telling my dad his wife is a cunt and he should divorce her even though they’ve been married for 30 years.  Nobody has spoken in a year but sis is coming back this year with the dog.  Can’t wait.  Thanksgiving!

Man, I cant wait for updates. This shit wont be as epic as the exorcism, but it will rank right up there. 

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Well, there's still 175 miles of country between that airport and the Western Kansas border.  And I know almost every inch of that area, and not in a good way.

I thought the airport was in KS. My bad. 

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29 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Do doors really cost $3.5k per?  

It was a passive aggressive pull out of thin air number because she knew sis was never going to pay anyway.  And a fuck you cherry on top by having my dad deliver it at the airport as he was dropping her off.  I'm sweating even thinking and typing about it.  

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I'm absolutely perplexed that my own immediate family is so normal.  No way @Jameslaw121 and I could have ever seen this coming when we were growing up.

My wife's family on the other hand...

1) MIL may or may not have cancer and may or may not be dying from it.   She was given 3 months back in June but is apparently well enough to come stay with us at Xmas and make all the Comicon conventions.

2) FIL is a complete dick.  Last year we drove to Nashville, but he didn't want to meet us anywhere (and see his grandkids for the 1st time in 4 years) because he didn't want to get caught in traffic.  You've got to understand what an absolute angel my wife is to understand the bullshitedness.

3) This is a good one.  Her grandmother left her grandfather last year (after 50 years of marriage).  She was in the hospital.  Her sisters were bringing her food and sweets against the doctor's orders.  Cousin posted on FB about not bringing food because the doctor stated that it would make her worse.  Sisters convince grandmother that grandfather/cousin are evil, so she just takes off.

4) SIL moved a couple of miles away 15 months ago.  She's a pharmacist that answers phone calls so no standing or strenuous work.  Calls in sick so often that they altered things so she would work from home.  SIL has now developed something called dysphonia which is some bullshit thing that supposedly leaves her unable to talk - i.e. work.  She has no problem talking all the way through any football game which is on when she comes over.  She's in the middle of a multi-week medical leave of absence right now, "Just hoping to be ok to use a headset after Thanksgiving."

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Lmao- can’t talk...but blabbers during entire football game.

 

Life just kicks you in the balls sometimes...

Edited by Iceman

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12 minutes ago, usmc0331horn said:

Just Northwest of Colby.

No need to brag about the big city, Marine.  All my in-laws hail from a variety of towns just east/southeast of there--Grainfield, Hoxie, Grinnell, Park, Gove City, and Quinter.  We've probably passed each other on those county dirt roads, lifting a finger off the steering wheel, as if to say..."where's the liquor store?"   It ain't the end of the World out there...but you can see it from there.  

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11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

No need to brag about the big city, Marine.  All my in-laws hail from a variety of towns just east/southeast of there--Grainfield, Hoxie, Grinnell, Park, Gove City, and Quinter.  We've probably passed each other on those county dirt roads, lifting a finger off the steering wheel, as if to say..."where's the liquor store?"   It ain't the end of the World out there...but you can see it from there.  

My zip code is actually in Levant thank you very much.

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Gotcha sir, it sounded like when you said, "We went out to..." that it was your long journey to that part of the country.  For the wife and I, it used to be a 13-hour drive.  Because airports are only something for the idle rich apparently.  Now that we've got kids, I had to finally stop and say a 16-hour drive (her family still expects me to do 80mph with two kids in the snow in 13 hours or else I'm a pussy) on two of America's shittiest interstates (35 and 70) is just stupid.  So that they are welcome to come and see their only two grandkids down here in Austin where it won't be miserable.  But damn if you can't take folks outta Western Kansas even for the holidays.  I tried to get them to try that United flight from Hays to Denver and then Denver to AUS.  It's a quick trip overall, but they just won't budge.  It's shitty winter highway driving or bust with these folks.  And that's their right.  I just ain't subjecting the kids to that yet.  

Anyway, great people up that way.  But one by one those farms are getting bought up by the man.  

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They have been for a while. I love the peace and quiet out there. It's kind of nice since I have lived in the city now for most of my adult life. Driving up from Austin as well. Haven't been in maybe 3 or 4 years.

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It was a passive aggressive pull out of thin air number because she knew sis was never going to pay anyway.  And a fuck you cherry on top by having my dad deliver it at the airport as he was dropping her off.  I'm sweating even thinking and typing about it.  

I assume that invoice is still outstanding at this time?

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16 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

My sis, lives in NYC and is a crazy psycho liberal, practices seagull management during the holidays.  Flies in, shits all over everything, then bails leaving us to deal with the mess.  She hates my stepmother with every ounce of her soul and stepmom's unwavering support of Trump has only exacerbated the feelings.

 

Last year, she brought her dog that shits and pisses on everything to my Dad and stepmom’s house.  Stepmom had just spent a considerable sum of money redoing large portions of the house.  At some point, my sister is out shopping or something and my stepmom locked the dog in a room to avoid having the dog shit and piss all over her house (sidenote, Stepmom has a yip dog that shits and pisses all over their house).  Sister’s dog goes apeshit being locked up and claws/scratches/bites up 2 brand new doors, completely ruining them.  Meltdown ensues by both parties where various insults are thrown and ends with my mother in law forcing my dad to give my sister a bill for about $7k to fix the doors and my sister telling my dad his wife is a cunt and he should divorce her even though they’ve been married for 30 years.  Nobody has spoken in a year but sis is coming back this year with the dog.  Can’t wait.  Thanksgiving!

Damn, that sucks. Can’t wait for updates! Hope you have enough alcohol handy though.

not taking sides since bringing a dog over that shits and pisses everywhere is really foul and should always be avoided, but if the home dog pisses/shits everywhere, can they really tell if the piss/shit belonged to the home or visitor dog? Ruined doors aside, Kind of pointless to get mad at shit/piss everywhere only bc it was from a different dog (as opposed to not having any shit/piss anywhere). 

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invoice is still outstanding.  I requested a pic but but sis told me she burned it.  

agree on the dog being a problem but also agree that determining which dog's shit/piss is impossible.  Which leads us to root of the issue which is that stepmom hates sister's dog because sister's dog is a proxy for sister.  love all around in the babysdaddy household.

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Reading this thread around the holidays makes me grateful for my only mildly dysfunctional family.  Its like my own little Hallmark Movie.

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20 hours ago, Lobo said:

No need to brag about the big city, Marine.  All my in-laws hail from a variety of towns just east/southeast of there--Grainfield, Hoxie, Grinnell, Park, Gove City, and Quinter.  We've probably passed each other on those county dirt roads, lifting a finger off the steering wheel, as if to say..."where's the liquor store?"   It ain't the end of the World out there...but you can see it from there.  

Gotta love Western Kansas.  My wife's family is from Wakeeney and used to go quite a bit before her grandmother passed away seven years ago.  Now I only have to go once every 3 years for the family reunion.

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Driven through and eaten in WaKeeney at least a dozen times over the years.  That's the last "big city" before we get out to the in-laws another 40 miles west of there.  Good pheasant hunting out that way if you can deal with the post-apocalyptic cold and ambiance.  

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On 11/7/2019 at 9:55 PM, markstanco said:

Mentioned before in threads past and I will again: men's Thanksgiving get together.

A friends dad started this over 40 years ago and we continue the tradition. Martini Matinee starts at 10a and ends at 11a SHARP. There is vodka and gin. No beer, no wine, no anything else. Of course olives and onions, but basically it is gin/vodka over ice in a pewter cup. Coat and tie is mandatory. No women allowed, even if the hosting house is cooking dinner, she isnt allowed to come out.

That's how you East Texas, bitches.

Yeah but who has to eat the cracker at the end?

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On 11/11/2019 at 8:02 PM, HOOKEM4 said:

Yeah like I said...has to be stroke or someshit. The wife and I are the only ones in the family that include them in anything. FIL is always appreciative and does the things he can to help (on a fixed income). It isn't about the nail...err...corn. it is about the cray.

She's mad at your FIL for spending money on hunting and she's trying to pick a fight with you to stop it. 

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She is barking up the wrong tree. FIL doesnt give two shits and I care even less. If I never spoke to her again, I would die a happy man. Sadly, the next time her router shits the bed or computer acts up, i will get the call.

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8 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

determining which dog's shit/piss is impossible.  

Not difficult, take a sample and DNA test. At the level that this dispute seems to have escalated to, I'd totally suggest it as the next course of action.

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8 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

invoice is still outstanding.  I requested a pic but but sis told me she burned it.  

agree on the dog being a problem but also agree that determining which dog's shit/piss is impossible.  Which leads us to root of the issue which is that stepmom hates sister's dog because sister's dog is a proxy for sister.  love all around in the babysdaddy household.

yeah, you can't exactly "dust" for dogshit.

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On 11/7/2019 at 9:23 AM, MissingInAction said:

Thankfully I am on call this Thanksgiving. Had to send my insane mother a pic of the schedule so she would stop raving that I was making it up. JFC. 

Off for the last week of this year and first of the next. Still not sure what i am going to do. Was thinking Beg Bend but no dogs allowed, so maybe back to PINS or some shit. 

State Park is your friend 

https://tpwd.texas.gov/state-parks/big-bend-ranch/dog-policies

Edited by tx 3 putt

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On 11/7/2019 at 3:25 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

To be fair, that is one of the better Luby's

Luby's Thanksgiving in a box is damn excellent buy 

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On 11/13/2019 at 2:46 PM, usmc0331horn said:

to be around my MiL and SiL who are both full blown alcoholics and both are batshit nuts.

pics ?

lot of lonely single guys on surely 

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On 11/13/2019 at 4:15 PM, babysdaddy said:

Last year, she brought her dog that shits and pisses on everything to my Dad and stepmom’s house.  Stepmom had just spent a considerable sum of money redoing large portions of the house.  At some point, my sister is out shopping or something and my stepmom locked the dog in a room to avoid having the dog shit and piss all over her house (sidenote, Stepmom has a yip dog that shits and pisses all over their house).  Sister’s dog goes apeshit being locked up and claws/scratches/bites up 2 brand new doors, completely ruining them.  Meltdown ensues by both parties where various insults are thrown and ends with my mother in law forcing my dad to give my sister a bill for about $7k to fix the doors and my sister telling my dad his wife is a cunt and he should divorce her even though they’ve been married for 30 years.  Nobody has spoken in a year but sis is coming back this year with the dog.  Can’t wait.  Thanksgiving!

 

FUCK YES !!!

 

your sister sounds fucking hot !

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13 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

Yeah but who has to eat the cracker at the end?

spacer.png

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On 11/13/2019 at 6:10 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

I'm absolutely perplexed that my own immediate family is so normal.  No way @Jameslaw121 and I could have ever seen this coming when we were growing up.

My wife's family on the other hand...

1) MIL may or may not have cancer and may or may not be dying from it.   She was given 3 months back in June but is apparently well enough to come stay with us at Xmas and make all the Comicon conventions.

2) FIL is a complete dick.  Last year we drove to Nashville, but he didn't want to meet us anywhere (and see his grandkids for the 1st time in 4 years) because he didn't want to get caught in traffic.  You've got to understand what an absolute angel my wife is to understand the bullshitedness.

3) This is a good one.  Her grandmother left her grandfather last year (after 50 years of marriage).  She was in the hospital.  Her sisters were bringing her food and sweets against the doctor's orders.  Cousin posted on FB about not bringing food because the doctor stated that it would make her worse.  Sisters convince grandmother that grandfather/cousin are evil, so she just takes off.

4) SIL moved a couple of miles away 15 months ago.  She's a pharmacist that answers phone calls so no standing or strenuous work.  Calls in sick so often that they altered things so she would work from home.  SIL has now developed something called dysphonia which is some bullshit thing that supposedly leaves her unable to talk - i.e. work.  She has no problem talking all the way through any football game which is on when she comes over.  She's in the middle of a multi-week medical leave of absence right now, "Just hoping to be ok to use a headset after Thanksgiving."

Would this be a bad time to tell you that Erica's mom and sister are coming for Thanksgiving?

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On 11/13/2019 at 6:10 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

1) MIL may or may not have cancer and may or may not be dying from it.   She was given 3 months back in June but is apparently well enough to come stay with us at Xmas and make all the Comicon conventions.

WTF???

How old is this woman?  Is there no age limit at which point they won't let you into one of those things?

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