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Songs With The Shittiest Lyrics

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Sitting on the back porch last night, watching it rain, getting high AF, and one of CHIEF Jr.'s buddies rolls out this shit just to see everyone's reaction:

CHIEF

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I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
A look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face
 
Do you remember when we used to dance?
And incident arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another, we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
 
And now you find yourself in eighty two
The disco hot spots hold no charm for you
You can't concern yourself with bigger things
You catch the pearl and ride the dragon's wings
 
'Cause it's the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
 
And when your looks are gone and you're alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone
What were the things you wanted for yourself
Teenage ambitions you'll remember well
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
It was the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment

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Boomer sooner

boomer sooner

boomer sooner

boomer sooner

boomer sooner

boomer sooner

boomer sooner

 

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1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Beatles I want to hold your hand

Every early Beatles song.

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3 hours ago, South Austin said:
I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
A look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face
 
Do you remember when we used to dance?
And incident arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another, we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
 
And now you find yourself in eighty two
The disco hot spots hold no charm for you
You can't concern yourself with bigger things
You catch the pearl and ride the dragon's wings
 
'Cause it's the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
 
And when your looks are gone and you're alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone
What were the things you wanted for yourself
Teenage ambitions you'll remember well
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
It was the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment

I listened to that song today on the radio.

/no homo

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Posted (edited)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah (Yeah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ark) 
Yeah, yeah 
Yeah-ah-ah, yeah-ah-ah 
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah 
 
Seven a.m., waking up in the morning 
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs 
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal 
Seein' everything, the time is goin' 
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin' 
Gotta get down to the bus stop 
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (my friends) 
 
Kickin' in the front seat 
Sittin' in the back seat 
Gotta make my mind up 
Which seat can I take? 
 
It's Friday, Friday 
Gotta get down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend 
Friday, Friday 
Gettin' down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend 
 
Partyin', partyin' (yeah) 
Partyin', partyin' (yeah) 
Fun, fun, fun, fun 
Lookin' forward to the

.

.

.

 

 

Screen Shot 2020-06-20 at 6.54.42 PM.png

Edited by Napoleon

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“Revolution 9” is a recorded composition that appeared on the Beatles' 1968 self-titled LP release (popularly known as The White Album). The sound collage, credited to Lennon–McCartney, was created primarily by John Lennon with assistance from George Harrison and Yoko Ono. Lennon said he was trying to paint a picture of a revolution using sound. The composition was influenced by the avant-garde style of Ono as well as the musique concrète works of composers such as Edgard Varese and Karlheinz Stockhausen...."

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Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red?
And what the hell is on Joey's head?
This is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneakin' out
And this is where I went to school
Most of the time I had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must of done it half a dozen times
I wonder if it's too late
Should I go back and try to graduate?
Lot's better now than it was back then
If I was them, I wouldn't let me in
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, God, I
Every memory of lookin' out the back door
I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Good bye, good bye
Every memory of walkin' out the front

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11 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Sitting on the back porch last night, watching it rain, getting high AF, and one of CHIEF Jr.'s buddies rolls out this shit just to see everyone's reaction:

CHIEF

Did you at least one-up him with some wheeler walker?

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14 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Did you at least one-up him with some wheeler walker?

No, but CHIEF Jr. was funny as shit. Said the song reminded him of his college essays.

CHIEF

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any Zep song with lyrics referencing "Lord of the Rings."

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"Cheeseburger in Paradise" 

After Jimmy Buffet wrote that piece of lyrical garbage, he should have aimed his seaplane straight for the sun. 

Granted, if he had done that, you don't get "One Particular Harbor" 5 years later which is a damn good song even if you're not a Salt Life on Saturdays/Tommy Bahama on Sundays douchebag.  But that's a trade-off I'm willing to risk. 

The melodic structure of "Cheeseburger" is already shit to begin with, the rhyming is as tone-deaf as Marlee Matlin covering Run DMC, and the lyrics themselves are just beyond fucking bad.  The song makes me hurt physically.  

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On 6/20/2020 at 12:01 PM, South Austin said:
I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
A look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face
 
Do you remember when we used to dance?
And incident arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another, we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
 
And now you find yourself in eighty two
The disco hot spots hold no charm for you
You can't concern yourself with bigger things
You catch the pearl and ride the dragon's wings
 
'Cause it's the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
 
And when your looks are gone and you're alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone
What were the things you wanted for yourself
Teenage ambitions you'll remember well
 
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment shone in your eyes
It was the heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment
Heat of the moment
Heat of the moment, heat of the moment

eric cartman singing GIF by South Park

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We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
We got too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Someone's always playing corporation games
Who cares they're always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
Well if you got the toco, oh, then we just lost the beat

Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who writes the wrecking ball in two wild guitars
Don't tell us you need us, 'cause we're just simple fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools
Yeah

Don't you remember (remember)

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll, oh

We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city

 

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That Blake Shelton song where he says “chewing tobacco, chewing tobacco, chewing tobacco, spit”. Actually, you could probably post about a thousand bro country songs in this thread.

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How about a shitty song with shitty lyrics?

 

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
My hump my hump my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps
Check it out
I drive these brothers crazy
I do it on the daily
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these ice
Dolce and Gabbana
Fendi and Madonna
Caring they be sharin'
All their money got me wearing fly
Whether I ain't askin'
They say they love mah ass in
Seven jeans
True religion
I say no
But they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't takin'
We can keep on datin'
Now keep on demonstratin'
My love my love my love my love
You love my lady lumps
My hump my hump my hump
My humps they got you
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
And spending time on me
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
Uh on me on me
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk
I'm a get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
All that ass inside your jeans
I'm a make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream
'Cause of my humps my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps
Check it out
I met a girl down at the disco
She said hey hey hey ya lets go
I can be ya baby, you could be my honey
Let's spend time not money
And mix your milk with my coco puff
Milky milky coco
Mix your milk with my coco puff
Milky milky
Right
They say I'm really sexy
The boys they wanna sex me
They always standin' next to me
Always dancin' next to me
Tryin' a feel my hump hump
Lookin' at my lump lump
You can look but you can't touch it
If you touch it
I'm a start some drama
You don't want no drama
No no drama no no no no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy
You ain't my man boy
I'm just tryin' a dance boy
And move my hump
My hump my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump
My lovely lady lumps
My lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps
In the back and in the front
My loving got you
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
And spending time on me
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
Uh on me on me
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk
I'm a get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
All that ass inside your jeans
I'm a make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk
I'm a get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off this hump
Whatcha gonna do with all that breast
All that breast inside that shirt
I'm a make make make make you work
Make you work work make you work
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
And spending time on me
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on me
Uh on me on me
 

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Posted (edited)

We Didn't Start the Fire belongs here.

"Rock and roll and cola wars, I can't take it any more".  Jesus.

Edited by Al_4_ISU

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On 6/20/2020 at 1:58 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

Beatles I want to hold your hand

If you're gonna go Beatles, this is the one:

 

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billy mack is a detective down in texas

you know he knows just exactly what the facts is 

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MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no

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And birds need bees and ice needs whiskey
Boys like me need girls like you to kiss me
"Fishin' in the Dark", needs Nitty Gritty
Under that pale moon
Sweet tea needs that sugar stirrin'
Small town nights need both ends burnin'
Shades need drawin', hearts need fallin'
Boots need knockin', knockin' boots
Mmm, knockin' boots
Me and you, oh (oh)
Knockin' boots

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, stc said:

billy mack is a detective down in texas

you know he knows just exactly what the facts is 

justice/taxes was also pretty weak.  But I'll give him a pass because the melody was decent, and the overall story told by the song is solid.  It was just those 2 or 3 rhymes that were laughable.  It's a crap song by SMB standards, but it's not on the "shittiest lyrics" list.  To me, the list has to be bad rhymes, a questionable (or worse) composition, with no story arc, and laughably bad word play or lack thereof.  "Cheeseburger in Paradise" scores off the charts in all those for me."  There's a Clarence and Alabama vibe to "Take the Money and Run", it's not pretty but it gets the listener from A to B.  

I'm sure there's 1000 country music songs even worse but Jimmy Buffet and every Parrot Head dipshit should have been sent to a Homestead Internment Camp after that fucking abomination that set FM "Pop-Rock" back 15 years.  

Edited by Lobo

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

justice/taxes was also pretty weak.  But I'll give him a pass because the melody was decent, and the overall story told by the song is solid.  It was just those 2 or 3 rhymes that were laughable.

I think justice/taxes was worse by rhyming standards.  At least Texas/facts is separated by the catchy quintuple claps.  Agree on the overall story.

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That Blake Shelton song where he says “chewing tobacco, chewing tobacco, chewing tobacco, spit”. Actually, you could probably post about a thousand bro country songs in this thread.



“Talking bout girls talking bout trucks.”

“Red red red red red red red redneck.”

Just pure Americana poetry indistinguishable from Samual Clemens.

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Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red?
And what the hell is on Joey's head? This is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneakin' out And this is where I went to school
Most of the time I had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must of done it half a dozen times I wonder if it's too late
Should I go back and try to graduate?
Lot's better now than it was back then
If I was them, I wouldn't let me in
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, God, I Every memory of lookin' out the back door
I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Good bye, good bye
Every memory of walkin' out the front…


Negged

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You'll say we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
Still I know you just don't care

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

I see you, the only one who knew me
But now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
Still I know you just don't care

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

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It helps that such a shitty song came out during college when you pretended to like whatever music she liked to have a chance at hooking up.  But if you actually listen to the lyrics, it's a guy saying he loves a shitty movie in order to watch it with the girl he likes so he can hook up.  It's a horrible song with childish lyrics but it makes a decent point.  He's lying about liking a movie to get in with a girl, and we all lie about liking this song to get in with a girl.  It's kinda meta.  It's a stupid song, but it had an interesting commentary.  It would be like if the Dave Matthews Band wrote a song about hanging out in a dorm room all night pretending to like candles and "Crash" so you could finally make a move on a girl.  Oh wait, I think he did.  Damn this simulation.  It's a typical situation.  

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On 6/22/2020 at 4:57 PM, Jerry Callo said:

I think justice/taxes was worse by rhyming standards.  At least Texas/facts is separated by the catchy quintuple claps.  Agree on the overall story.

Am I the only one who reflexively claps along every time they hear it?

I'm not proud of it, and it certainly isn't intentional.  But god damn it if I'm capable of stopping.

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26 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Am I the only one who reflexively claps along every time they hear it?

I'm not proud of it, and it certainly isn't intentional.  But god damn it if I'm capable of stopping.

That's the reason I mentioned the claps.  I knew most everyone would have to run the song through their head and count the claps.

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On 6/22/2020 at 4:57 PM, Jerry Callo said:

I think justice/taxes was worse by rhyming standards.  At least Texas/facts is separated by the catchy quintuple claps.  Agree on the overall story.

When in doubt, just make up a word like "pompatus". 

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Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey
Since the return of her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey
Hey, hey
But tell me
Did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded?
And that Heaven is overrated?
Tell me
Did you fall from a shooting star
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me while you were
Looking for yourself out there?
Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's a-room to grow, hey, hey, yeah
Now that she's back

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15 minutes ago, Texas St. Armadillos said:
Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey
Since the return of her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey
Hey, hey
But tell me
Did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded?
And that Heaven is overrated?
Tell me
Did you fall from a shooting star
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me while you were
Looking for yourself out there?
Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's a-room to grow, hey, hey, yeah
Now that she's back

Meet Virginia would also qualify-- Train's first single was really good and everything they did after that was offensively bad

here's my nomination

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to knowI've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found out a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

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3 hours ago, South Austin said:

You’re trying to create meaning and redeeming value in a song that has none.

If you're not looking for meaning in things where there is none during Covid19 lockdown, that means you're out at a bar spreading it.  Thanks a lot man! 

 

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35 minutes ago, Lobo said:

If you're not looking for meaning in things where there is none during Covid19 lockdown, that means you're out at a bar spreading it.  Thanks a lot man! 

 

FWIW, I think Jimmy Buffet has more great songs than shitty ones. Come Monday is amazeballs.

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3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

FWIW, I think Jimmy Buffet has more great songs than shitty ones. Come Monday is amazeballs.

not even a fan and I'll stipulate

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