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19 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

Today I learned that Muslims cannot invest in bonds because it's against their religion. Something about interest on loans being fraud.

It was big news around December 2016 when the Shariah Standard on Gold was announced so Muslims could start investing in gold investment vehicles.

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3 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Today I learned that Muslims cannot invest in bonds because it's against their religion. Something about interest on loans being fraud.

My church used to have the same thoughts about stocks; trusting in God means using gifts now and knowing that the Lord will provide in the future. 

This kind of theological brilliance brought them to liquidate the $1500 in Microsoft stock that someone left them in their will in the late 80s. 

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Why can't America fix our fucking phone system? And by that I mean, EVERY CALL should have un-spoofable caller ID that tells you the number and real name of the person or company calling you. If a call doesn't meet those specifications, the phone system should not allow it to go through. Any hacking or circumvention of the system should be a felony punishable by draconian measures.

 

 

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On 5/16/2020 at 1:13 PM, tbone_ said:

Why do we even have phones?

What else am I supposed to do when I take a shit?

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On 5/15/2020 at 10:11 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

My son and I are watching Friday Night Lights as our current quarantine binge show. I watched the first couple of seasons when it aired 15 years ago. Is it weird that this time through I find Mrs. Coach Taylor a whole lot hotter than Lyla Garrity? Am I getting old? 

Nope, well maybe you are but Mrs. Taylor is one more hot mama.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/15/2020 at 10:11 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

...and it's a double to deep left center field

 

Edited by SHOOTER12

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Posted (edited)
On 5/15/2020 at 10:11 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

.. and it's a triple off the right field wall

Edited by SHOOTER12

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They could cure the virus tomorrow and open up everything 100%, and it would still be a while before I went out to a bar or restaurant again. I’ve gotten so used to eating at home & having gatherings at friends’ places, going to an establishment just seems like a chore more than anything now.

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My son and I are watching Friday Night Lights as our current quarantine binge show. I watched the first couple of seasons when it aired 15 years ago. Is it weird that this time through I find Mrs. Coach Taylor a whole lot hotter than Lyla Garrity? Am I getting old? 
Without googling, was that really 15 years ago? Got damn i am old. Loved that show. But it seems more like 10.

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On 5/3/2020 at 12:39 PM, Lobo said:

Blood type.  I thought it was an old wives tale for decades.  But it is absolutely true that mosquitoes go for blood type O first either positive or negative.  And then they go for all the other blood groups after that.  

It's an old wives tale because women are the only ones bitching about it.

On 5/12/2020 at 11:20 PM, markstanco said:

You ever walk around in your attic and step on a cat 5 cable with your left foot, then the cable goes between your flip flop and toes on your right foot, and you fall through the ceiling dislocating your left shoulder catching yourself so you don't fall 10 feet to planet earth? 

Just curious. 

Flip flops in the attic? That's not the real question.  Real question is who the fuck still uses cat5

 

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9 hours ago, markstanco said:
On 5/15/2020 at 10:11 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:
My son and I are watching Friday Night Lights as our current quarantine binge show. I watched the first couple of seasons when it aired 15 years ago. Is it weird that this time through I find Mrs. Coach Taylor a whole lot hotter than Lyla Garrity? Am I getting old? 

Without googling, was that really 15 years ago? Got damn i am old. Loved that show. But it seems more like 10.

I was an extra in season 2/3 and I can tell you both are extremely hot in person.

All of the actors on that show were extremely nice and made me feel like I belonged.

Fun times.

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On 5/16/2020 at 1:11 PM, Paper_jam said:

Why can't America fix our fucking phone system? And by that I mean, EVERY CALL should have un-spoofable caller ID that tells you the number and real name of the person or company calling you. If a call doesn't meet those specifications, the phone system should not allow it to go through. Any hacking or circumvention of the system should be a felony punishable by draconian measures.

are you one of those people that can’t help answering every call that comes through?  just decline it and move on with your life. 

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8 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

It's an old wives tale because women are the only ones bitching about it.

Flip flops in the attic? That's not the real question.  Real question is who the fuck still uses cat5

 

I just have these all over the house.

61TmFR1IELL._AC_SL1500_.jpg

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2 hours ago, futureman said:

are you one of those people that can’t help answering every call that comes through?  just decline it and move on with your life. 

Please stop talking shit on my dad.  Thank you.

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The telephone is my most hated modern invention.  I automatically say "god dammit" every time it rings.  I bet I make less than one call a week.

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On 5/19/2020 at 10:47 AM, futureman said:

are you one of those people that can’t help answering every call that comes through?  just decline it and move on with your life. 

answer every call, press 4

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On 5/19/2020 at 10:47 AM, futureman said:

are you one of those people that can’t help answering every call that comes through?  just decline it and move on with your life. 

Dear god, this is my business partner.  Takes calls in the middle of meetings, middle of meals, middle of everything.  Even if he doesn't recognize the number.  Just likes to look busy.  Calls me on his way home or after a meeting with other people despite that we were together just minutes before.  Just wants to seem in demand.  I answer maybe 3-5 non business calls per week out maybe 20.  Nobody demands to talk to me and I don't demand to listen.  But holy shit, he just can't help himself.  Some people just love to walk around with the bluetooth in and look busy.  I thought the fad would go away, but not with him.  And then there's the damn car, we're back and forth to Houston all the time and he just takes any damn call that comes through while driving at 90mph and he multi-tasks about as well as Betty White.  

I find the people you described are also the ones that place calls incessantly just to be talking to somebody so they don't have to listen to the voices in their head.  Fucking guy makes a half dozen calls to people who are barely business associates or barely friends just to babble for 15 minutes with each of them to fill up time.  Were people always like this before mobile phones?  I started working in offices just before cell phones went from being in every third person's pocket to every single person's pocket.  What did people like this do before...when it was just land lines but they still had to be out and about?  

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The World Has Lost It's Corona rotted Mind

Brawlers hurl paint over each other in crazy fight outside Home Depot

 
 
?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655796-0-image-m-5_1590052967954.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

Four men got in a bizarre fight spilling paint over each other and using garden tools as weapons at a Home Depot yesterday.

Footage shows the middle-aged men in Tampa, Florida, throwing paint cans at each other in the store's car park.

The men showed little regard for social distancing measures as they fought outside a Ford Pickup truck in the daytime.

?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655796-8343153-image-a-2_1590052633390.jpg&fo=webp&w=640?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655792-8343153-image-m-4_1590052880115.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

In a scrap at the beginning of the video, a large man in a blue T-shirt hits another man over the head with a paint can, covering him with white paint.

His accomplice wearing a white T-shirt and wielding a garden hoe chases the fourth man behind the car, while the larger man slaps the paint-covered victim.

He chases the much smaller man towards the camera, who then chucks the paint can at him in defence.

The fight then comes to an abrupt end as both men pace back towards the car separately, before the large man slaps the other victim and walks away.

?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655806-8343153-image-m-13_1590053061561.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

It is the second fight to have occurred at a Home Depot in less than a week, after a 71-year-old man was attacked by Charles Tyrone Brown, 69, in Jonesboro, Arkansas.

Police were called at around 4pm on Saturday after the victim reportedly refused to follow social distancing rules.

Brown hit the man with a boxed Dremel tool knocking him to the ground after he allegedly place a hand on a holstered firearm.

The victim suffered a small cut to the right eye and neither men were arrested, reported KAIT8.com

 
 
 
 
 

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are you one of those people that can’t help answering every call that comes through?  just decline it and move on with your life. 
A lot of my customers call from an office with say 15 outgoings. Cant save them all so I typically answer.

But its pretty easy to see robocalls when they come from a similar number to yours.

My info may be off but I believe there were 20ish calls per month to Americans last year. And we were well below average compared to other countries.

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9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

That "pick three items from Home Despot before the Battle Royale begins" thread from the old site was an all-time classic. 

ani-brick_throws_a_trident.gif

 

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I have this dream where I die in a vertical pipe that slowly fills up with water.

Today I had an mri and jammed against the right side. My heart rate was likely 150 over whatever. Mother focker I hate tight spaces like that.

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My ex-wife screamed for about 45 minutes while she was getting scanned.  I took a nap during mine.  Most women don't like it.

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if lawyers are “juris doctors” then why don’t you call them “dr. so-and-so” when addressing them?

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On 5/22/2020 at 10:24 PM, markstanco said:

I have this dream where I die in a vertical pipe that slowly fills up with water.

Today I had an mri and jammed against the right side. My heart rate was likely 150 over whatever. Mother focker I hate tight spaces like that.

Try a whole body scan.  I went to sleep, even with all the noises.

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On 5/23/2020 at 10:19 AM, futureman said:

if lawyers are “juris doctors” then why don’t you call them “dr. so-and-so” when addressing them?

It is bad enough with chiropractors already.

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This twitter thread is so much fun. Read the replies - Brits and Irish talking about American cooking phrases, methods, and measurements. 

 

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On 5/21/2020 at 9:22 PM, SHOOTER12 said:

The World Has Lost It's Corona rotted Mind

Brawlers hurl paint over each other in crazy fight outside Home Depot

 
 

?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655796-0-image-m-5_1590052967954.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

Four men got in a bizarre fight spilling paint over each other and using garden tools as weapons at a Home Depot yesterday.

Footage shows the middle-aged men in Tampa, Florida, throwing paint cans at each other in the store's car park.

The men showed little regard for social distancing measures as they fought outside a Ford Pickup truck in the daytime.

?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655796-8343153-image-a-2_1590052633390.jpg&fo=webp&w=640?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655792-8343153-image-m-4_1590052880115.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

In a scrap at the beginning of the video, a large man in a blue T-shirt hits another man over the head with a paint can, covering him with white paint.

His accomplice wearing a white T-shirt and wielding a garden hoe chases the fourth man behind the car, while the larger man slaps the paint-covered victim.

He chases the much smaller man towards the camera, who then chucks the paint can at him in defence.

The fight then comes to an abrupt end as both men pace back towards the car separately, before the large man slaps the other victim and walks away.

?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2F1s%2F2020%2F05%2F21%2F10%2F28655806-8343153-image-m-13_1590053061561.jpg&fo=webp&w=640

It is the second fight to have occurred at a Home Depot in less than a week, after a 71-year-old man was attacked by Charles Tyrone Brown, 69, in Jonesboro, Arkansas.

Police were called at around 4pm on Saturday after the victim reportedly refused to follow social distancing rules.

Brown hit the man with a boxed Dremel tool knocking him to the ground after he allegedly place a hand on a holstered firearm.

The victim suffered a small cut to the right eye and neither men were arrested, reported KAIT8.com

 
 
 
 
 

Understandable. After all of the abuse Gary,/Jerry/ Larry took from his “friends” at the parks and rec department it was only a matter of time. Ticking time bomb. 
parks and recreation jim oheir GIF

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The most immoral person I've ever known was a paramedic. He was really good at his job, too. On the clock, who knows how many people's lives he has saved over the years.

Off the clock? Who knows how many people's lives he's ruined.

I think about that from time to time. Judging people -- even if you're a really good judge of character -- is a total crapshoot.

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On 5/23/2020 at 10:19 AM, futureman said:

if lawyers are “juris doctors” then why don’t you call them “dr. so-and-so” when addressing them?

Lawyers are already annoying enough. Can you imagine them marching around demanding that everyone address them as "doctor" as well?

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On 5/15/2020 at 11:17 PM, bernorange said:

It was big news around December 2016 when the Shariah Standard on Gold was announced so Muslims could start investing in gold investment vehicles.

It's kinda funny, for a group that is as touchy about literal interpretations as any good ol' small town brick building Church of Christ, but they allow "interpretations" to be passed down with the "weight of hadith". I forget what these scholarly findings are actually labeled, but most Muslims in America, the moderates who run your corner convenience stores, the engineers who work for the construction companies that put up the oddly uniform buildings in strip malls, etc.) all listen to this one group of imams in Canada who say, "Yeah, pretty much do whatever the Americans do, just try to do it with a Muslim banker". Which sounds sort of like what the administration at Baylor tells their teenage kids about drinking, when you think about it.

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