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Prepuce of Doom

Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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This one is weird and creepy on so many levels.

The super bright lipstick/makeup on a clearly elderly woman sexualizing her.

She’s got a super square jaw - unattractive

Her slicked back hair and clothes obviously going for androgyny.

When she walks down the hall she extends her arm and brushed the shoulder/hair of a young high school girl. Suggesting homosexual pedophilia.

 

 

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i think i just saw an ad that claimed that Miller Lite is the original social media. huh?

also, apparently there are only two types of blackl people: bi-racial, curly haired, non threatening blacks who have tons of white friends, and then funny black guys, who also seem to exclusively have tons of white friends. 

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the "Liberty Bibbety" struggling actor guy has propelled up the ranks and into my top 3-5 most hated commercial characters ever, up there with Paul from Sprint, the "real people not actors" douche, and the lispy, bearded douche who doesn't want to blanche his kale. i'd like to blanche all of their faces. 

 

f889d1014acf73340ed4ca4e40b2be69.jpg

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Matthew McConaughey is a treasure, and his quirky Lincoln commercials are generally good. But...

His ice fishing commercial is inaccurate to the point I can't watch it. You don't throw bait and gear into a luxury vehicle, and you don't sit in it on shore and watch a flag. You drag a pop-up out to your hole.

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1 hour ago, Parliament said:

Matthew McConaughey is a treasure, and his quirky Lincoln commercials are generally good. But...

His ice fishing commercial is inaccurate to the point I can't watch it. You don't throw bait and gear into a luxury vehicle, and you don't sit in it on shore and watch a flag. You drag a pop-up out to your hole.

i dragged my pop-up out of your mom's hole.

Edited by Goo Punch

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16 hours ago, Parliament said:

You drag a pop-up out to your hole.

So you know South Austin's mom, too, huh?

 

Also, I like the Liberty Bibberty commercial.  

Edited by Beau Vine

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I have a soft spot for the Lincoln commercials.  Theres a sort of zen (to me) about them.   Something relaxed and almost, dare I say, groovy. 

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WTF is it with this lawyer guy Thomas J. Henry?

Never heard of him until a couple of years ago when his name showed up as a sponsor of some Alamo Bowl activities in the Alamo Dome. Now for the past year his ads with his phiz & name are on just about every TV channel out of Austin 24/7.

He’s more annoying than all those Geico ads. Geeze!

Any of you Surly lawyers acquainted with him?

Edited by Armybrat

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Alex Flores of Capitol Chevrolet: “And remember, I’m a veteran and veterans are ALWAYS welcome!”

Are there dealerships or other places of business here in the Central Texas region actively discriminating against veterans which I was unaware of?

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48 minutes ago, Chet Steadman said:

Alex Flores of Capitol Chevrolet: “And remember, I’m a veteran and veterans are ALWAYS welcome!”

Are there dealerships or other places of business here in the Central Texas region actively discriminating against veterans which I was unaware of?

That veteran thing is not near as annoying as that mother fucker yelling during the entire commercial.

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All NBA commercials that use Rap/Hip Hop as a background.
That shit is absolutely horrible.
 


Umm. Should they have Ray Benson? Weezer? The Carpenters?

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On 1/30/2020 at 8:41 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

That veteran thing is not near as annoying as that mother fucker yelling during the entire commercial.

YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP YELLING AT US ALEX!

Makes me want to stop by the dealership and yell that I'm a veteran and so happy that I'm welcome there.

Where are the Krispy Kreme's and hand over the fucking keys to a new Corvette C8 so I can rip a test drive.

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15 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:

 


Umm. Should they have Ray Benson? Weezer? The Carpenters?

 

Al Jarreau....only Al Jarreau

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On 1/30/2020 at 7:52 AM, Chet Steadman said:

Alex Flores of Capitol Chevrolet: “And remember, I’m a veteran and veterans are ALWAYS welcome!”

Are there dealerships or other places of business here in the Central Texas region actively discriminating against veterans which I was unaware of?

I think it would be great if another local dealer made an ad poking fun at those ads. "And remember, veterans are only sometimes welcome at Derka Derka Dodge; not all of the time; just most of the time. I mean we gotta close up for the night at some point ya know. But as soon as we open back up in the morning, then all veterans are once again welcome to come on down and shop at Derka Derka Dodge."

Edited by Goo Punch

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37 people would get that joke... the remaining 26k who saw it would be like "derp derp... Derka Derka hates God and Jesus! Imma go buy me a truck at Capitol Chevrolet! Praise Trump!" 

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5 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

37 people would get that joke... the remaining 26k who saw it would be like "derp derp... Derka Derka hates God and Jesus! Imma go buy me a truck at Capitol Chevrolet! Praise Trump!" 

oh man, that's when i'd double down with a follow-up ad:

"Folks, I have heard your feedback about our latest ad, and let me tell you that I have heard you loud and clear. (pause for dramatic effect) Still, I need to reiterate that veterans are NOT allowed to shop at Derka Derka Dodge during non-business hours. I'm sorry, but i've just got to be a stickler on this thing here. as much as I would love to be selling Nate Boyer here (Nate Boyer appears onscreen) the all new 2020 Dodge Ram 2500 at $9,000 off MSRP with a $500 cash back rebate, I just can't do it at 3 a.m.! However, if you'd like to meet me and Nate, we will be hosting a fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Project this Saturday, and Derka Dogs are on the house. So bring the whole family on down...just as long as we're open!"

*boom*

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I'm gonna go ahead and stay it. Shriner's hospital and their roundtable of shitty fakeass bad campaign ideas. They probably rubbed onions in that kid's eyes to make him shed tears through the poorly written scrip with his bad acting skills. They probably got the CEO a big boost in salary with that shit, though.

Edited by DougO

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On 1/25/2020 at 6:00 PM, Armybrat said:

WTF is it with this lawyer guy Thomas J. Henry?

Never heard of him until a couple of years ago when his name showed up as a sponsor of some Alamo Bowl activities in the Alamo Dome. Now for the past year his ads with his phiz & name are on just about every TV channel out of Austin 24/7.

He’s more annoying than all those Geico ads. Geeze!

Any of you Surly lawyers acquainted with him?

Ive been on a semi-jihad against him. 

First I head about him was an article talking about how he spent over $6M on his daughters quinceañera back in 2016 and then he spent another $5M in 2017 on his son's 18th party including giving the kid a fucking $400k Ferrari.

 

I had to look his ass up, turns out he was Corpus  based attorney that discovered the other primary ambulance chasing attorney in Corpus was NOT bar-licensed, that passed all his customer on as leads to other licensed attorneys, taking a commission on all them.  Since he wasnt licensed it meant all the settlements werent valid.  So ol Tommy Henry went ahead and advertised that if you had used scumbag ambulance chaser as your attorney, he wasnt an attorney and you were entitled to all the fees he had collected on you, plus the extra pain and suffering from the fraud.   He made tens of millions.  all the real attorneys that paid a percentage of the settlement back to the original scumbag were themselves sued for participating in an illegal venture, they settled for all kinds of money.

Those millions made from that discovery are what propelled his ass to being the arrogant money-grubbing ambulance chaser he is today.

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1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

Ive been on a semi-jihad against him. 

First I head about him was an article talking about how he spent over $6M on his daughters quinceañera back in 2016 and then he spent another $5M in 2017 on his son's 18th party including giving the kid a fucking $400k Ferrari.

 

I had to look his ass up, turns out he was Corpus  based attorney that discovered the other primary ambulance chasing attorney in Corpus was NOT bar-licensed, that passed all his customer on as leads to other licensed attorneys, taking a commission on all them.  Since he wasnt licensed it meant all the settlements werent valid.  So ol Tommy Henry went ahead and advertised that if you had used scumbag ambulance chaser as your attorney, he wasnt an attorney and you were entitled to all the fees he had collected on you, plus the extra pain and suffering from the fraud.   He made tens of millions.  all the real attorneys that paid a percentage of the settlement back to the original scumbag were themselves sued for participating in an illegal venture, they settled for all kinds of money.

Those millions made from that discovery are what propelled his ass to being the arrogant money-grubbing ambulance chaser he is today.

so you're mad that he pulled some lawyer bullshit on a bunch of other lawyers (and one non-lawyer) and got rich from it? 

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5 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

so you're mad that he pulled some lawyer bullshit on a bunch of other lawyers (and one non-lawyer) and got rich from it? 

no Im mad because him getting all that money allowed him to expand from his little hole in Corpus to Austin, subjecting us to his fucking tone-deaf condescending commercials.

 

On what fucking planet have you ever heard of an ambulance chasing attorney who brags to his attempted audience that he makes a shitload of money off of them?

 

that ad where he's wearing a $100k suit, getting into his chauffer driven suicide-door Bentley, driving out of his $15M mansion, and meeting a $20M private jet at the airport.... yeah,  that screams "I really should hire this asshat as my attorney"

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26 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

no Im mad because him getting all that money allowed him to expand from his little hole in Corpus to Austin, subjecting us to his fucking tone-deaf condescending commercials.

 

On what fucking planet have you ever heard of an ambulance chasing attorney who brags to his attempted audience that he makes a shitload of money off of them?

 

that ad where he's wearing a $100k suit, getting into his chauffer driven suicide-door Bentley, driving out of his $15M mansion, and meeting a $20M private jet at the airport.... yeah,  that screams "I really should hire this asshat as my attorney"

i guess it's working

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41 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

no Im mad because him getting all that money allowed him to expand from his little hole in Corpus to Austin, subjecting us to his fucking tone-deaf condescending commercials.

 

On what fucking planet have you ever heard of an ambulance chasing attorney who brags to his attempted audience that he makes a shitload of money off of them?

 

that ad where he's wearing a $100k suit, getting into his chauffer driven suicide-door Bentley, driving out of his $15M mansion, and meeting a $20M private jet at the airport.... yeah,  that screams "I really should hire this asshat as my attorney"

He's advertising to the lowest common denominator of peoples ethics and IQs. And that shit works.

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On 1/25/2020 at 5:34 PM, Macanudo said:

I have a soft spot for the Lincoln commercials.  Theres a sort of zen (to me) about them.   Something relaxed and almost, dare I say, groovy. 

At least they aren't those "hip" Buick commercials.

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On 2/1/2020 at 2:19 PM, TheStoicPaisano said:

Smaht Pahk

Yeah.  Take the worst accent in the history of the world and make an ad of it.

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1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Yeah.  Take the worst accent in the history of the world and make an ad of it.

I was in Boston for 4 days a few years ago and spoke with dozens of residents and not one of them spoke like this.

Blatant false advertising.

spacer.png

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There in the yahd, not too fah from the cah.

Personally, I like hearing that accent, get a kick out of it. 

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“I’m a      th generation Texan and I started a woman-owned law firm.“

-some chick running for office

Edited by mr. sunshine

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On 2/3/2020 at 5:57 PM, DougO said:

I'm gonna go ahead and stay it. Shriner's hospital and their roundtable of shitty fakeass bad campaign ideas. They probably rubbed onions in that kid's eyes to make him shed tears through the poorly written scrip with his bad acting skills. They probably got the CEO a big boost in salary with that shit, though.

The Shriners Hospitals still operate under their mission that no child will have to pay for care regardless of their family's ability to do so.   I am a Shriner, and I've been around those kids, several of them in the commercials.  There's not onion rubbing going on with what many of them have been through.  

 

I'd gladly take you on a visit to the Houston hospital with me.  I'll even pick you up and drive you. 

Edited by Trey3216

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Did y’all see the Thomas J Henry ad where he (I assume it’s him) steps out of a mansion into a Bentley limo, and gets driven to a private jet?

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On 2/4/2020 at 2:05 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

no Im mad because him getting all that money allowed him to expand from his little hole in Corpus to Austin, subjecting us to his fucking tone-deaf condescending commercials.

 

On what fucking planet have you ever heard of an ambulance chasing attorney who brags to his attempted audience that he makes a shitload of money off of them?

 

that ad where he's wearing a $100k suit, getting into his chauffer driven suicide-door Bentley, driving out of his $15M mansion, and meeting a $20M private jet at the airport.... yeah,  that screams "I really should hire this asshat as my attorney"

 

5 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Did y’all see the Thomas J Henry ad where he (I assume it’s him) steps out of a mansion into a Bentley limo, and gets driven to a private jet?

Yes, about 12 posts ago 

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The Shriners Hospitals still operate under their mission that no child will have to pay for care regardless of their family's ability to do so.   I am a Shriner, and I've been around those kids, several of them in the commercials.  There's not onion rubbing going on with what many of them have been through.  
 
I'd gladly take you on a visit to the Houston hospital with me.  I'll even pick you up and drive you. 


Doug0...

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On 1/30/2020 at 8:41 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

That veteran thing is not near as annoying as that mother fucker yelling during the entire commercial.

Neither as annoying as Scott Elder's voice.

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2 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

The Shriners Hospitals still operate under their mission that no child will have to pay for care regardless of their family's ability to do so.   I am a Shriner, and I've been around those kids, several of them in the commercials.  There's not onion rubbing going on with what many of them have been through.  

 

I'd gladly take you on a visit to the Houston hospital with me.  I'll even pick you up and drive you. 

6a00c2251d19928e1d00e398cfebfc0004.jpg

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