Jump to content

News stories that remind you of Surly


Longboard Horn

Recommended Posts

  • 2 months later...
  • Replies 1.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Wang smashed, destroyed after ignoring warnings and entering the forbidden zone

Spoiler

A woman was killed by falling rock and ice while hiking in Yosemite National Park on Sunday, according to park officials.

The woman has been identified as Xuan Wang, 56, from Cupertino.

Park officials say she was hiking on the Mist Trail when she was struck and succumbed to her injuries soon after.

According to park officials, the Mist Trail is closed during this time of year due to icy and hazardous conditions. They say the trail closure is clearly marked and there is a gate to remind visitors of the closure.

Park officials believe Wang ignored the signs, went around the gate.

Officials say no further information will be released at this time until the investigation is complete.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

tldr: 

MIT researcher conducts a statistical analysis that confirms hipsters all look alike and publishes results including a stock photo of a generic "hipster."

Hipster writes an angry letter to MIT threatening to sue for a) slander by accusing him of being a "hipster" and also for b) using his photo without permission.

MIT contacts Getty who confirm that the generic hipster was a paid model and was not the angry hipster who couldn't tell he wasn't another generic hipster.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/13/viktor-orban-family-values-ads-mocked-for-using-infidelity-image-distracted-boyfriend

Quote

He has said his third term will focus mainly on fixing Hungary’s demographic problems. Last month he announced that women who have four or more children would benefit from a lifetime exemption from income tax.

A lot more Hungary mouths to feed.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.sfgate.com/news/bayarea/article/Driver-Cited-After-Spilling-Bags-Of-Marijuana-13708765.php

 

The truck's large bed was piled with bags of marijuana that started falling out because the truck's gate wasn't fastened, CHP Officer Herman Baza said. 



The spill left a trail at least a mile long, and officers came upon it about 3 p.m. Thursday and followed until finding the source. They stopped the driver on the connector from northbound Interstate Highway 880 to Interstate Highway 580. 

The marijuana was from a legal business, but the driver was cited for driving without a commercial license, Baza said. No injuries were reported as a result of the spill.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/education/2019/03/22/ex-principal-sues-district-after-gifting-wooden-penis-employee/3244519002/

 

Quote

A wooden penis given to a female security guard at the high school by the principal is now the subject of a civil lawsuit in federal court in Detroit

{was that wrong gif goes here}

Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-drunk-driver-axe-body-spray-20190326-sn7lf4rpg5ch3flejkf62zrwnu-story.html

Quote

South Carolina police claim they caught Efren Mencia-Ramirez attempting “to cover the smell of alcohol on his breath” by spritzing the drug store fragrance into his open mouth when they pulled him over Saturday night. Mencia-Ramirez’s scented breath didn’t distract cops from noticing the driver had 10 nearly empty beer bottles in his car and an 11th between his legs that had been cracked open, according to local outlet The State. He hadn’t yet gotten to the last bottle of his 12-pack.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://nypost.com/2019/03/29/florida-face-biting-cannibal-believed-he-was-half-man-half-dog/

FLORIDA — A forensic psychologist says accused face-biting cannibal Austin Harrouff believed he was “half-dog, half-man” when he fatally attacked a man and woman at their home and was found biting one of their faces.
The Palm Beach Post reports Phillip Resnick made the conclusion in a 38-page mental health report released this week by the Martin County State Attorney’s Office.
Investigators say they found former Florida State University student Harrouff, now 22, biting John Stevens’ face while making growling noises on Aug. 15, 2016.
Resnick’s report says the fact that Harrouff persisted in biting Stevens “in the presence of police officers, in spite of threats of being shot, being tased and receiving multiple kicks to the head, suggests that Mr. Harrouff was actively psychotic.”
Harrouff’s attorneys are preparing an insanity defense for the Nov. 4 trial.

___________________________

FSU student?

Obviously a Jimbo acolyte.

d9277b31de55ce1298e3114a7d26e3de.jpg08ecaa8efa7346e93f62f81afd0cfa74.jpg

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

Two men were arrested in Arkansas this week after allegedly taking turns shooting each other while wearing a bulletproof vest, a police report has said.

Charles Eugene Ferris, age 50, and Christopher Hicks, age 36, were detained on Monday after the incident, which took place on Sunday and left one neighbor alarmed. Details of the case were inside an arrest affidavit obtained by the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.  

According to the affidavit, a deputy with the Benton County Sheriff's Office first interviewed Ferris after he was admitted to hospital late Sunday night. The man reportedly had a red spot on his upper chest but tried to concoct an elaborate cover story for the injury, police said.

As reported by 5News (KFSM-TV), Ferris claimed an “asset” had paid him $200 for protection. He said the pair met another man at around 10 p.m. and ended up in a gunfight.

The 50-year-old told the deputy he was hit multiple times but returned shots and fled in a car. He said he was taken to the hospital by the so-called asset. Later, he admitted making up the tale in an attempt to protect his friend, the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported.

Leslie Ferris, the man’s wife, had a different recollection of events. She told police that he had been drinking outside their home with his neighbor Hicks when gunfire erupted. The couple’s residence is located in Rogers, a city in Benton County.

When confronted by investigators, the husband changed his story. According to the affidavit, he confirmed they were drinking and playing with a bullet-resistant vest. After asking Hicks to shoot him, he was hit in the chest with a .22 caliber semi-automatic rifle, leaving the mark.

Local media outlet KARK-TV reported Ferris asserted that he had been left “pissed” about the injury and then "unloaded the clip" into Hicks, who by this stage was wearing the vest. The friend was struck five times in the back. Luckily none of the bullets pierced the material.

One local neighbor told 5News he was concerned about his children, who live nearby. “I have three kids, two of them still live at home here… right next to them. They shoot as many as 50 to 100 rounds at a time. I just want to make sure it's not just left hanging, no charges.”

"There has to be something done about it. If nothing is done it could escalate into someone getting seriously injured. Maybe somebody that is not on their property," he added. 

Both Ferris and Hicks were arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault, a Class D felony which carries a potential penalty of six years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000, 5News reported.

No formal charges have been filed and the pair were released yesterday on $5,000 bond. The two men are currently scheduled to appear in a Benton County court for a hearing at 8 a.m. on May 13, according to local media outlets. 

Charles Eugene Ferris Christopher Hicks Christopher Hicks (left), 36, and Charles Eugene Ferris, 50, were detained on Monday after the shooting incident. Benton County Sheriff's Office

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/beloved-pet-pig-slaughtered-for-meat-at-neighbors-house-after-getting-loose_n_5ca61676e4b082d775e1b6ab

 

Quote

Police in Northern California were shocked to discover the fate of a runaway pet pig after they asked a neighbor to watch her while they tracked down her owner.

Princess, a nearly 400-pound pig, went missing from her Humboldt County home on March 23. She was later spotted in a neighbor’s yard, as shown in a post published on a Facebook page for lost-and-found animals in the area.

After the wandering pig was found, the Arcata Police Department arrived on the scene to help Princess home, noting to SFGate that calls of this kind aren’t out of the ordinary in this community, where residents typically have a few acres of land and own livestock.

Police asked a nearby neighbor if he could keep Princess in his gated yard while they located her owner, according to Dokweiler. He added that this is also a practice that is common in the area.

The neighbor agreed and the police quickly found the owner. But when police returned to pick up Princess, they were horrified to find that she was in the process of being butchered for meat in the resident’s driveway.

Dokweiler told HuffPost that the homeowner who had agreed to watch Princess wasn’t the man responsible for killing her. Another man, who was at the homeowner’s residence at the time, took it upon himself to kill the pet in the homeowner’s yard without the homeowner’s knowledge. The man then moved Princess to the driveway to butcher her. Dokweiler says the entire incident occurred in the span of about two hours.

 

Dokweiler told HuffPost that the police investigation is still ongoing, but the man who slaughtered Princess is being charged with a felony for grand theft.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/25/2019 at 5:19 PM, clapclapclap said:

Wang smashed, destroyed after ignoring warnings and entering the forbidden zone

  Hide contents

A woman was killed by falling rock and ice while hiking in Yosemite National Park on Sunday, according to park officials.

The woman has been identified as Xuan Wang, 56, from Cupertino.

Park officials say she was hiking on the Mist Trail when she was struck and succumbed to her injuries soon after.

According to park officials, the Mist Trail is closed during this time of year due to icy and hazardous conditions. They say the trail closure is clearly marked and there is a gate to remind visitors of the closure.

Park officials believe Wang ignored the signs, went around the gate.

Officials say no further information will be released at this time until the investigation is complete.

 

Wang, Dang, crushed poontang? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...