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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

We need the story on the dumbfuckery. It’s okay to post a picture if she’s hit. We will understand and assume she Fucking someone else.
10 hours ago, Tyler Durden said:
8 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

That's a little CPS'ish. 

 

Yes it is.

17 hours ago, txhorns said:

I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

    Came home late last night as well. One of the garage doors was wide open. I asked the wife to have our 10 year old daughter bring the garbage can in when I Ieft earlier that day. Of course she assumed the 10 year old closed the garage door. Meanwhile I have a drag car, my old supercharged mustang, and all the spare parts for both cars and tools laying around the garage. Lucky we live in a great area.

Edited by Thatguy

19 hours ago, txhorns said:

I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

She was carjacked.  But he returned her after a cool 45 minutes or so.  Probably. 

I bet it’s entirely possible she turned WiFi or Bluetooth off to save battery or some such


No one’s wife knows how to do that. If your’s can then you’re married to a tranny.
23 hours ago, txhorns said:

I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

Dude. This is insane.

That's a little CPS'ish. 
No shit. What a selfish loser. This is up there with the wife pointing a gun at the shagster
34 minutes ago, G650 said:

Dude. This is insane.

He's lucky he didn't come home to a house full of cops. I did something similar and had the entire Hays County Narcotics Task Force greet me. Fun.

So are you ok with your wife drinking and driving with your 3 year old? 

11 minutes ago, HOOKEM4 said:

So are you ok with your wife drinking and driving with your 3 year old? 

Maybe she left the kid at home while she was out driving drunk.  Ever think of that?

Then why was the back door open hot shot?!?!?  Oh probably the rest of the haul from Twin's. 

1 hour ago, G650 said:

Dude. This is insane.

Yeah, and there were similar stories on the old site.  Scary.

And obligatory reference to laying pipe goes here.

5 hours ago, Js1 said:

She was carjacked.  But he returned her after a cool 45 minutes or so.  Probably. 

She was the one doing the jacking.

I'm hoping he's been busy calling the cops and consulting his divorce lawyer this whole time.

37 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

At least he died doing something he loved

Safe to say she wasn't pulling for him?

"He went to his shed, and she went to work." Beautiful.

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a hill of beans”.... last words. RIP

Kids opened their Easter candy this weekend to find it all had melted. Turns out, my wife stopped to pick it up before going to run errands for a few hours. She thought it would be fine in the car since it was only in the 70s that day, and no, she did not crack a window. 

8 minutes ago, G650 said:

@txhorns just left us hanging.

Lol sorry I've been busy melting down over the damn baseball team.  Looks like some clarification is needed.  The back door to the car, not the house, was open although all house doors were unlocked.  Kid was playing in his room.  Wife had not been drinking.  Wife was exhausted from watching the kid's all day and taking them all over the place.  They went to 1 Easter egg hunt and her parent's house.

Funny how when she was gone for the weekend a month ago both kids were passed out while I watched sports by 7:30 at night.

5 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

you drink with your kids?

You don't?

My youngest is 46. Grandson is 27.

Can’t keep up with them.

Lol sorry I've been busy melting down over the damn baseball team.  Looks like some clarification is needed.  The back door to the car, not the house, was open although all house doors were unlocked.  Kid was playing in his room.  Wife had not been drinking.  Wife was exhausted from watching the kid's all day and taking them all over the place.  They went to 1 Easter egg hunt and her parent's house.
Funny how when she was gone for the weekend a month ago both kids were passed out while I watched sports by 7:30 at night.

When my kids were little and my wife was away, my goal was to wear them out as quickly as possible as well.
20 minutes ago, txhorns said:

Lol sorry I've been busy melting down over the damn baseball team.  Looks like some clarification is needed.  The back door to the car, not the house, was open although all house doors were unlocked.  Kid was playing in his room.  Wife had not been drinking.  Wife was exhausted from watching the kid's all day and taking them all over the place.  They went to 1 Easter egg hunt and her parent's house.

Funny how when she was gone for the weekend a month ago both kids were passed out while I watched sports by 7:30 at night.

Watching the kid's what?

12 minutes ago, Flg8rfan said:


When my kids were little and my wife was away, my goal was to wear them out as quickly as possible as well.

It's the easiest way to parent.  Tired kids are good kids and easy to watch.  The Saturday my wife was gone we went to Urban Air for 2 hours, Chick Fil A, Home Depot, Academy, the park for an hour, took the dog for a walk and I taught my 3 year old son how to grill hot dogs (I had a steak).  The kid actually asked to go to bed just after 7 and slept in the next day.  When my wife is home it's a battle to get them in bed by 8:30.

Lol sorry I've been busy melting down over the damn baseball team.  Looks like some clarification is needed.  The back door to the car, not the house, was open although all house doors were unlocked.  Kid was playing in his room.  Wife had not been drinking.  Wife was exhausted from watching the kid's all day and taking them all over the place.  They went to 1 Easter egg hunt and her parent's house.
Funny how when she was gone for the weekend a month ago both kids were passed out while I watched sports by 7:30 at night.
Such a hard day. So stressful
1 hour ago, JSB said:

Kids opened their Easter candy this weekend to find it all had melted. Turns out, my wife stopped to pick it up before going to run errands for a few hours. She thought it would be fine in the car since it was only in the 70s that day, and no, she did not crack a window. 

Don't ever let her take your dog.

What if he doesn't like the dog?


I love my dog, but she will not get into the car willingly which makes it just about impossible for my wife to take her anywhere on her own. My kids on the other hand have me a bit concerned.
On 4/21/2019 at 2:24 PM, txhorns said:

I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

Damn, thought it was bad when my wife leaves the keys in the lock of the front door.  This is on a whole 'nother level though.

3 hours ago, JSB said:

Kids opened their Easter candy this weekend to find it all had melted. Turns out, my wife stopped to pick it up before going to run errands for a few hours. She thought it would be fine in the car since it was only in the 70s that day, and no, she did not crack a window. 

This reminded me of Easter Sunday.  The wife was getting the kids dressed up while I was getting ready to meet my parents for church.  She was taking them to an Easter egg hunt at her parent's place while I'm at church.  She decided not to put the candy up after getting their outfits on, knowing full well that my 3 year old and my 7 year old (Autistic) make a mess with candy.  Melted chocolate on the youngest's shirt, and chocolate all over the oldest's pants.  She's losing it, but I just laugh to my myself and said "Gotta go, I'm late."

Edited by ulukinatme

4 hours ago, JSB said:

Kids opened their Easter candy this weekend to find it all had melted. Turns out, my wife stopped to pick it up before going to run errands for a few hours. She thought it would be fine in the car since it was only in the 70s that day, and no, she did not crack a window. 

Did she at least give it a bowl of water?

7 hours ago, txhorns said:

It's the easiest way to parent.  Tired kids are good kids and easy to watch.  The Saturday my wife was gone we went to Urban Air for 2 hours, Chick Fil A, Home Depot, Academy, the park for an hour, took the dog for a walk and I taught my 3 year old son how to grill hot dogs (I had a steak).  The kid actually asked to go to bed just after 7 and slept in the next day.  When my wife is home it's a battle to get them in bed by 8:30.

It's hard to wear down kids when you're busy seeing how your friends are passing you by on facebook!

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Stopped by Kroger on the way home today and walked out just in time to see a tornado go by (Bryan Tx, 4:45pm). Called the wife who was still at work and told her I just watched a tornado from Kroger parking lot and it's heading toward our house, wife responds "did you get my coffee mate?" 

This video was from right down the road.

Our house is a few miles east of town and the tornado petered out before it got there and no I didn't get her damn coffee mate.

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