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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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My wife put in a grocery order for pickup last night. This morning she went to pick it up since she was off. While she’s out, she takes the kids by Chick-Fil-A to pickup breakfast. About 3.5-4 hours after getting back home she remembers the groceries are still in the car. Guess who got to pickup another $60 grocery order on the way home? While I was waiting on it, I texted her and asked if she could wanted me to bring it in when I got it home or leave it in the car. Tone.

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6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That's an easy fix. Plus you can clean out 12 years of lint and it will be running better.

Damn you’re good. Dryer was heating fine.  Zero output at exterior vent. Unhook exhaust hose from back of dryer and it is a blowing and a going. 12’  clean out brush on way. 

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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1 hour ago, Anastasis said:

Kids wanted to watch wizard of oz. 

pull it up on iTunes after dinner and start rolling.

movie starts in Kansas.  

“Why did you rent the black and white version instead of the technicolor remastered version?”

pours another strong drink.  

You didn’t tell her Kansas is in black and white? Missed opportunity.

 

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1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
1 hour ago, Anastasis said:
“I don’t think I ever saw the monkeys before”
fuck my life. 

Just have her look for the munchkin who hung himself in the forest so she'd shut up for the rest of the movie

That’s really early on though, so don’t actually point it out to her. 

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13 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:


My wife went through a horrible period with migraines. Tried new eyeglasses, meds, you name it. The Dr had upped her meds to the point where she almost couldn’t function. Her boss sent her to his massage guy. Immediate relief.

We were able to wean her back off all the meds except for her daily dose she had already been on before all of this happened. She goes every couple of months and no migraines.

She sent me. I cussed up a storm for an hour and was sore for two weeks afterward. Hadn’t felt that good in a while.

 

"Don't forget to drink a lot of water" 

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My wife is going to a function at our kids school today without me, she called me this morning and this is the actual conversation-

 

Me- Hello

Mrs Hoffa- Where should I park today when I go to school?

Me- Um, in the parking lot

Mrs Hoffa- Well it's going to be super busy what do I do if it's full?

Me- Park in the back parking lot

Mrs Hoffa- What if that is really busy too? 

Me- Well then you might have to park on one of the side streets across from the school and walk

Mrs Hoffa- Ok, Thanks!

 

giphy.gif

 

The best or worst part is my wife is smart as shit, common sense sometimes however......

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46 minutes ago, Hate said:

My wife likes to take products out of their original container and put them in other containers. Then she has a smaller container for that product so that it will fit in our cabinets.

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   Wow! I would lose my shit on that for sure.

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On 4/18/2019 at 8:20 PM, Anastasis said:

Kids wanted to watch wizard of oz. 

pull it up on iTunes after dinner and start rolling.

movie starts in Kansas.  

“Why did you rent the black and white version instead of the technicolor remastered version?”

pours another strong drink.  

 

When my daughter was 3 or 4, a d Wizard of Oz was her goto movie at the time, she didn’t think Dorothy was really Dorothy until she “turned into color.”

 

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I was gone all day yesterday.  Got home at 10:05.  Pulled up and my wife's SUV was in the driveway instead of the garage.  The driver's door was open as was the back door.  Wife's wallet and keys were sitting on driver's seat.  Went inside and wife was asleep, 3 year old was still awake, 2 lights on and all doors unlocked.

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