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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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My idiot fucking wife has turned into a fucking hoarder/retard/collector of other people's junk. Mostly from her regarded sister. It all gets drug up on te porch. After todays latest addition I finally lost it and lowered the boom.

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24 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:
16 hours ago, PantsTent said:

Yep, always salmon patties during lent but I liked them with french fries. I think there was onion and bell pepper mixed in.

We always had them for breakfast with biscuits and syrup.

For us, it was with mashed potatoes and white gravy. I think I've had it once in the 16 years since my mother died, I miss that shit so much. I need to ask my sister to make it again, I guess.

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16 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Am I the only one who sees the stylized smiling black face sunflower painted on there, looking like it’s right out of the Jim Crow era?

Lol, no blackface just a piss poor artist trying to paint highlights on a freaking sunflower. 

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19 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Am I the only one who sees the stylized smiling black face sunflower painted on there, looking like it’s right out of the Jim Crow era?

Awww fuck, you're right. Never paid any attention to the damned thing before.

20240104_173357.jpg

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2 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

My idiot fucking wife has turned into a fucking hoarder/retard/collector of other people's junk. Mostly from her regarded sister. It all gets drug up on te porch. After todays latest addition I finally lost it and lowered the boom.

Hopefully user name does not check out????

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30 minutes ago, Nuge said:

I like that you called yourself an idiot.  

Self awareness is the first step towards nirvana. Be aware that we are all idiots or we would not be married and posting in this thread. Hope you have your breakthrough soon.😃

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3 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

emoji2357.png1782dc15e9a7df2fe5bb98f770bab5b2.jpgb7a0d7f6ceec9b97247a090e0c19b0a8.jpg1f237c7a19cd3623356d810357bdab54.jpgf30b5a7115780d94138bef3f74fddf0b.jpg

I don't understand why you are giving yourself a headache over this.  Print your own card and keep it in your wallet.  Also keep a digital copy on your phone.  What they want to do with their insur card is their own business 

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1 hour ago, FartingMonk said:

I don't understand why you are giving yourself a headache over this.  Print your own card and keep it in your wallet.  Also keep a digital copy on your phone.  What they want to do with their insur card is their own business 

So much this.

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1 minute ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Anyone else's wife lock their car when it's parked inside your locked garage forcing you to go back into the house and get the keys for no good reason?

I'd rather her have the habit of locking it every time than try to make her use judgement on a case by case basis. 

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1 minute ago, NorthLoop said:

I'd rather her have the habit of locking it every time than try to make her use judgement on a case by case basis. 

If we lived in a city, or regularly kept items of value in the car I'd probably agree.  Neither applies to us.

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I'm with Al on this one.

My wife locks every door at all times.  She even takes it to house doors.   There is a zero percent chance of a home invasion through the back sliding door on a Saturday when I am doing yard work.  Even if someone wanted to home invade, the fucking click lock isn't stopping them.   Doesn't matter, if she goes by the door unlocked she locks it.

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2 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

I'm with Al on this one.

My wife locks every door at all times.  She even takes it to house doors.   There is a zero percent chance of a home invasion through the back sliding door on a Saturday when I am doing yard work.  Even if someone wanted to home invade, the fucking click lock isn't stopping them.   Doesn't matter, if she goes by the door unlocked she locks it.

This is my big thing.  We have an elevated patio (I'm not calling it a deck because it's concrete) and there are big glass sliding patio doors into our dining room.  If someone wants in badly, all they need is a rock the size of a baseball and reasonable arm strength.

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31 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Anyone else's wife lock their car when it's parked inside your locked garage forcing you to go back into the house and get the keys for no good reason?

I bet the kitchen cabinet doors and drawers were open though.

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I feel ya @SHOOTER12 . Pictured here are 2, 7 ft tall side light windows from some hurricane damaged church in Florida.   She found them in some 'antique' shop in Port. St. Jo, FL while we were on vacation.  OOOHHHHHH the plans she had for these.  I had to wrap them in bubble wrap and cram them down into kayaks to get them home.  I can't believe I didn't break any of the glass.  That was 10 years ago.  Here they still sit....leaning against a basement wall, along with a bunch of art/maps that have never been frame, and about 13 other pieces of furniture that we don't have room for.     And then bitches because of all the junk in the basement.  Fuck.  

And fucking open drawers.  I will NEVER understand that.  

 

 5901fcbbf1d6d1a5697ad5c39f0a01d3.jpg

Edited by hullabelew
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49 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

I bet the kitchen cabinet doors and drawers were open though.

I'm actually the offender on that front in our house.

My wife is borderline neurotic about keeping the house tidy.  Her mother could show up unannounced at any moment and cast judgment upon her, ergo, we have to maintain military barrack levels of cleanliness.

I hope my daughter ends up thinking this is ridiculous and just leaves her toys fucking everywhere when she's old enough.

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2 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

OH>>>> from the above pictures.  Storage bins full of kids artwork.   Grouped by grades.........You are looking at a stack belonging to the oldest daughter.  Now 35 years old. 

Yeah that needs to be in your daughter's garage 

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5 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

Yeah that needs to be in your daughter's garage 

A couple if years ago, my MIL started trying to give us crap that she had saved from my wife's childhood every time we came to visit. We would resist because we don't want that crap in our house and we also live 2000 miles away so we don't want to transport worthless junk. It turned into such a big scene that we finally just started accepting it and then jettisoning it into the trash after they dropped us off at the airport. We figure we're getting a head start on cleaning out their house when they kick it.

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17 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

I feel ya @SHOOTER12 . Pictured here are 2, 7 ft tall side light windows from some hurricane damaged church in Florida.   She found them in some 'antique' shop in Port. St. Jo, FL while we were on vacation.  OOOHHHHHH the plans she had for these.  I had to wrap them in bubble wrap and cram them down into kayaks to get them home.  I can't believe I didn't break any of the glass.  That was 10 years ago.  Here they still sit....leaning against a basement wall, along with a bunch of art/maps that have never been frame, and about 13 other pieces of furniture that we don't have room for.     And then bitches because of all the junk in the basement.  Fuck.  

And fucking open drawers.  I will NEVER understand that.  

 

 5901fcbbf1d6d1a5697ad5c39f0a01d3.jpg

You  went to PSJ and didn't stop?  

 

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18 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Awww fuck, you're right. Never paid any attention to the damned thing before.

20240104_173357.jpg

Brisket thinks you should only have white sunflowers.  Who's the real racist sunflower here?

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3 hours ago, hullabelew said:

OH>>>> from the above pictures.  Storage bins full of kids artwork.   Grouped by grades.........You are looking at a stack belonging to the oldest daughter.  Now 35 years old. 

 

3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Yeah that needs to be in your daughter's garage 

 

3 hours ago, hullabelew said:
3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:
Yeah that needs to be in your daughter's garage 

Burn Barrell

 

3 hours ago, royiv said:

A couple if years ago, my MIL started trying to give us crap that she had saved from my wife's childhood every time we came to visit. We would resist because we don't want that crap in our house and we also live 2000 miles away so we don't want to transport worthless junk. It turned into such a big scene that we finally just started accepting it and then jettisoning it into the trash after they dropped us off at the airport. We figure we're getting a head start on cleaning out their house when they kick it.

Yeah....I was raised an only child.  My mother kept goddamned EVERYTHING, down to the kindergarten macaroni art.  As she repeatedly foisted a batch of this or that onto us, my wife would rant "for fuck's sake, it's like she was saving every last damned thing for your future Presidential Library."  Spoiler: as y'all may have surmised, Brisketexan is not presidential material.

It didn't take long before we told her "you know we're just going to trash this stuff, right?"  She at least had the decency to say "that's fine, it's yours to do with what you want."  So, into the trash it went.

On the off off off chance I still end up as POTUS, we'll just do a reconstruction of my early macaroni art, giving deep insight into my future views on the federal highway system.

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Open drawer talk not going away.... Wife was putting away the groceries while was doing something else in the kitchen.

Her: "I'm too hot in this sweater. I need to go change clothes. " ... And off she goes.

Notice the placement of the asparagus......I would assume that is temporary.... But would likely be wrong.

Upon turning around....
484980e24b66ed9ef9b1cf5ed30b5bed.jpg

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Open drawer talk not going away.... Wife was putting away the groceries while was doing something else in the kitchen.

Her: "I'm too hot in this sweater. I need to go change clothes. " ... And off she goes.

Notice the placement of the asparagus......I would assume that is temporary.... But would likely be wrong.

Upon turning around....
484980e24b66ed9ef9b1cf5ed30b5bed.jpg



That’s a nice fridge. Do you like it? I mean, I’m sure you like it when it’s cold and the door is closed, but other than that?
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