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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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On 2/11/2019 at 10:45 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

You can't add sugar once it's been brewed and chilled.  Come at me brah.....

That's the laws of physics trying to tell you something, man. You should listen: sugar doesn't belong in a beverage.

20 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

The sweet tea hate in this thread makes me surly.

Sweet tea is glorious. The sweeter the better.

No, it's the diabeetus that's making you surly. The sweet tea hate is merely making you educated.

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On 1/23/2019 at 10:16 PM, ztejas said:

Old people (like gray hairs - talking 70+) at movies that think they can make as much fucking noise as they want, leave and come back in the loudest way possible four times during the movie, hold an audible conversation at any point they feel like, bitch at Martha because "we're sitting in the wrong seats", drop a glass beer bottle 40 minutes in and just generally act like they are the only people in attendance. 

This is not all gray hairs - but it is an observed trend. I paid more for the ticket than you did, you probably see 3 movies a week because you have the time and expendable income to do so, so please act like an adult, shut the fuck up and be courteous to the rest of the theater. You aren't 13 fucking years old. I'll hold the door for you, I'll help you with your groceries, I'll let you cut me in line, but once the lights go down and the opening credits roll, please. For the love of God, please. Try to pretend like you're being quiet. 

/rant

Youngmanyellingatclouds?

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2 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

That's the laws of physics trying to tell you something, man. You should listen: sugar doesn't belong in a beverage.

No, it's the diabeetus that's making you surly. The sweet tea hate is merely making you educated.

Yeah they're telling me to put it in before it gets cold.

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1 hour ago, Vic Mackey said:

Fucking this. What does this even mean? You are doing your responsibilities as an adult? Fuck off.

Also the term 'Sunday Funday'. 

348956-sunday-funday-the-ride-nes-front-

The goal of this game is to ride your skateboard to Sunday school, but for some reason there are raging politics board posters trying to stop you.  The last game released for the NES until the home brew community happened.

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On 2/11/2019 at 9:59 PM, GottaB said:


That happens in repetition for all of HGtV. Not just the show but each segment. There is a preview. A full segment. And a sneak peak of the next segment.

20 minutes of video cut an multiplied to 40 minutes of content spliced with commercials to make 60 minutes of programming. Fuck I hate that channel.

Here's a template for all their shows:

First 5 minutes: "Recap of last week's show, and here's what's coming up on today's show."

5 minutes of some crap

1 minute before commercial: "Coming up after the break"

10 minutes of commercials

After commercials: "Here's a recap of what happened before the break" - 1 minute

5 minutes of crap, coming up after the break... wash rinse, repeat.  

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People who start their talk/speech/presentation with, “We’re gonna go ahead and get started.”   When you say that, you already lost the room. And people don’t consciously realize it, but 1/3-1/2 of all talks begin this way.  

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11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

People who start their talk/speech/presentation with, “We’re gonna go ahead and get started.”   When you say that, you already lost the room. And people don’t consciously realize it, but 1/3-1/2 of all talks begin this way.  

I'm mean seriously if you don't start your speech with 2 midget, giraffes walk into a bar, or the equilvant thereof You've lost them 

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I go with “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence off God to discuss the oldest open action item 2018-52.4, Bob’s Group’s TPS Report PEN15-55378008. Bob, I think there was an issue with accounting on the PO...uh...let’s see...8675309...that correct?”

Who gives a shit? I’m not wowing anyone with my intro here. Let’s get down to brass tacks, so we can all do our jobs and get back to fucking off on the internet.

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27 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:



Who gives a shit? I’m not wowing anyone with my intro here. Let’s get down to brass tacks, so we can all do our jobs and get back to fucking off on the internet.

Precisely, and when every talk begins with a stammering low-confidence, "Uh, everyone.  If we could all take our seats...we're gonna go ahead and get started.  Uh, everyone?  Yeah, if we could go ahead and take out seats...and yeah, um...we're gonna start with the next panel.  Thank you.  Okay, I know we're all excited from that last coffee break, but we need to stick to the schedule.  Thanks to every...uh....everyone for um.  Let's go ahead and begin the next session."  That bullshit aggregates into about an extra 10 minutes of a given conference day.  That's one less drink we get to have at the open bar later, one less phone call to home to hear our children laugh, one less joyous piss upstairs in the comfort of our own hotel room toilet.  All because the speaker lacks the ability to hold a room.  Give a 1 or 2 word greeting like "Welcome", "Good Morning" or "Hello everyone" and you start your talk.  If you need a shameless plug, you can state your name in there somewhere too, but that's it.  NO stuttering, no using the word "Like"...you begin anything with the word "So" or "Um" or "Right"...you've lost.  We didn't travel across the nation to hear a teenager stammer through a speech.  "So yeah, um...here's the thing...we're gonna get started now...thanks."  It's okay once in awhile, over the course of a 3-day conference-it robs all of us a lot of precious time.  

For shits n' giggles, while surfing surly horns next time at a conference, notice how much time is wasted by people who don't know how to speak out loud.  I gotta wait until 5:15p for the reception start when it was clearly posted at 5:00p because Janice and Jeff don't know how to properly hand off a presentation.  If you're not good at capturing a room in a timely and concise fashion, don't fucking sign up.  This isn't a re-education camp, nobody has to talk if they don't want to and Daddy needs his medicine you overly-confident jagoff.  

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At lunch I drove through a car wash and parked in my normal spot back at the office. Just had to go get something out of my truck, and fucking maintenance crew had been testing the sprinkler system, leaving me with water spots all over. I know they are doing their job, but fuck man, now I’m going to have to spray it off and dry it again when I get home.

Typically the sprinklers run before I get to the office.

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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

People who start their talk/speech/presentation with, “We’re gonna go ahead and get started.”   When you say that, you already lost the room. And people don’t consciously realize it, but 1/3-1/2 of all talks begin this way.  

That's why every meeting needs an uptight lieutenant or smarmy executive admin to call than sumbeech to order.  Then the boss glides right in with some joke about Oklahoma or Tide pods...

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Don't know if it's trivial, but I'm on lunch break and have SIX HOURS of mandatory job training going on now. I've worked here for twenty years, and have seen all these presentations dozens of times. 

I am SO SICK of these meetings, particularly when I know they're lying about how they actually handle things. 

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5 minutes ago, Richard Kimball said:

Don't know if it's trivial, but I'm on lunch break and have SIX HOURS of mandatory job training going on now. I've worked here for twenty years, and have seen all these presentations dozens of times. 

I am SO SICK of these meetings, particularly when I know they're lying about how they actually handle things. 

Thank You, Trial Lawyers of America!

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You can safely ignore this post. It's me rambling, trying to stay awake during a three hour session. At least the Minnow had Ginger and Mary Anne. 

Oh God. VP coming around rapping on tables, trying to drum up enthusiasm. Only about half as many people here for second three hours, so, harder to hide, but easier to get a chair where no one can get behind me and see I'm surfing. Have a throw down word processing file I can pull up if necessary. 

"We're going to have an important conversation." translation: "Shut up and listen."

OMG, this is worse than the part about laws. Core values, rules of the road, people, inclusiveness, communication, excellence and integrity. Leadership team hasn't done good job of communicating, so they're going to annoy the shit out of us by having more meetings. 

HEY! We've got a poster! Here's a poster with generic clip art of laughing people having more fun than you ever have and buzz words. We're all in this together. Buzzword bingo. We can't do this by ourselves. It's a team effort. Courageous conversations. Just hit diverse on the buzzword bingo. That should be a free space. Sensitivity training video coming up. 

VP is wearing a bow tie. Personal note: only wear a bow tie with a tuxedo. We'll be open and courageous in our communication. Pretty sure they don't want to know what I really think. 

Does this post count as paying attention? Is cynicism a core value? If I'm making fun of the presentation while it's going on, I'm still paying attention. Jeez: We're going to walk the talk. I think he meant walk the walk. This bubbled up from us. We can all pat ourselves on the back. We need to celebrate the good stuff we do. 

Weird, I have a great attitude towards my job until they drag me to one of these fake "let's celebrate ourselves" meetings. We're doing great things, and we're going to do more great things. We're getting everyone on a level playing field. 

Oooooohhhh, powerpoint with charts. Trying to put a positive spin on bad numbers. 

OK, confession, they finally have some decent info. Relevant to our jobs. ten minutes of good info in four hours is above their average. 

45 minutes in: Presenters keep asking if there are questions. NO! We want out!

Settled into a low buzz of tedium and glazed eyes now. 

Dammit. I was stretching when presenter asked for questions. Hopeful look at me, I shake my head no. No one turns around to see what fool thought about asking a question. 

These meetings wouldn't bug me as much if I didn't know how they worked. "Listening sessions" aren't about finding out what they should do. If you go to a listening session, they've already decided what to do. They're determining who will fall in line and who they'll have to kill off.Search for "Mao let a hundred flowers blossom." Pro tip: don't invite a guy who used to be in charge of doing these things come to one as an attendee. 

Breaking now. Another hour and a half to glory. 

Edited by Richard Kimball
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50 minutes ago, elfenix said:

why can't we just chop off the nuts of everyone who works for that extended warranty company that keeps spamming everyone's cell phones? 

Extended warranties in general.

 

Why not sell me something more than a guaranteed piece of shit.

Edited by slorch
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