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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook


Vic Mackey

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10 hours ago, royiv said:

Couldn't you build an enclosure for the snail and contain it without touching or killing it? 

Take a mil, build a house with a salt moat. 
 

 

9 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Is the snail limited only to it’s own locomotion or can it hitch rides? If it’s the former I’m moving to Hawaii and thanks for the 10 million.  


Think about it. That snail  ain’t springing to get out of coach. Even if it douches out and gets on with the disabled folks he still probably isn’t making it to the door before it closes.

If by some miracle he does, think he’ll make it off?

Wouldn’t matter. I can’t kill it, but someone else will see it and take care of it anyway. Just hang out in a classy joint and some chick will freak out and pour salt on it for me.

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1 minute ago, thunderlounge said:

Take a mil, build a house with a salt moat. 
 

 


Think about it. That snail  ain’t springing to get out of coach. Even if it douches out and gets on with the disabled folks he still probably isn’t making it to the door before it closes.

If by some miracle he does, think he’ll make it off?

Wouldn’t matter. I can’t kill it, but someone else will see it and take care of it anyway. Just hang out in a classy joint and some chick will freak out and pour salt on it for me.

Titties, snails and former quarterbacks. These are the things Surly obsesses over.

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2 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

Take a mil, build a house with a salt moat. 
 

 


Think about it. That snail  ain’t springing to get out of coach. Even if it douches out and gets on with the disabled folks he still probably isn’t making it to the door before it closes.

If by some miracle he does, think he’ll make it off?

Wouldn’t matter. I can’t kill it, but someone else will see it and take care of it anyway. Just hang out in a classy joint and some chick will freak out and pour salt on it for me.

image.gif.ec1887268d176f23e1f4cf6346cd571b.gif

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According to this screencap I managed to snag off the National Geographic website before the paywall popup obscured it, a snail's average speed is 0.03 MPH. 

Screenshot_20220715-170154_Chrome.thumb.jpg.911c7b17883d4ddedf53d78e3d6f3885.jpg

Assuming that our Murdersnail is average and is not Archie, that works out to 0.044 feet per second, 2.64 feet per minute, or 158.4 feet per hour. It would take a snail approximately 33.3 hours to travel a mile if moving nonstop. 

If you had a house in New York and a house in LA (2789 miles apart), it would take the snail 3,874.16 days (10.6 years) to make the trip.  Time two cross country flights just right, and you can avoid that asshole for 30 years. 

Anyone who ends up being killed by the snail was too stupid to trust with $10, let alone $10m.

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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