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The Things Olds Do


T’Boo Ted Marshall

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1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

 

 

I'm not judging, just saying...they make commercials about this syndrome.  Do you read books about tanks while you're waiting for your flight? 

(LOL I kid, I kid) 

 

 

Those Progressive commercials used to be hilarious. They’re not funny anymore. 

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10 years ago, this old woman in my office retired and I took over her position. She didn't clean out the cabinets in the cubicle, just took her personal shit and left. So I'm going through the drawers and cabinets and I found a 1977 agency phone directory. I still have that fucker and have no plans to get rid of it. 

When you retire, it should be there for the next person.
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On 7/15/2023 at 2:55 PM, mchookem said:

wtf with old pople and their refrigerators?? every visit to both my parents as well as my MIL required a clean out 🤮 my 85 yoa aunt's fridge looks like a hoarder and she barely even eats!

expired everything... condiments, milk, juices, salad dressings, cheeses, yogurts, lunchmeats... there'd be four things of sour cream with the youngest expiring six months ago. fresh veggies from latest grocery trip on top...covering bags of rotting lettuce and onions. i mean how long do you have to keep a carrot for it to go bad??

i used to get so frustrated at my mom, she'd say 'well i was at the grocery and needed cream cheese and didn't remember i had some' and i'd be like 'fine... but when you get home just throw the old one away!' and she'd be all 'quit fussing at me!' 🙄

ugh. every old person i know does it. remnants from growing up poor?? dunno...but so gross.

 

My grandmother lived through the Dust Bowl on a farm in OK. She never ever threw away food.

I can remember her saying "High Plains, you clean your plate, its a sin to waste food."

 

 

 

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12 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

My grandmother lived through the Dust Bowl on a farm in OK. She never ever threw away food.

I can remember her saying "High Plains, you clean your plate, its a sin to waste food."

 

 

 

I mentioned this to Al in another thread, but my grandmother was Dust Bowl/ WWII generation. She froze everything. Two things that come to mind are huge bricks of pre-cut cheese, and loaves of bread. 
Lunch at her house every day was a ham and cheese sandwich with a leaf of lettuce, and butter as the condiment. The bread always had a razor-thin layer of ice in the middle of each slice. 

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On 8/1/2023 at 11:46 AM, Biff Tannen said:

Me on phone: Go to www.weather.com (for this example)

In Laws: Ok, now which one do I click?

Me: What?

In Laws: Which link do I click?

Me: ...sigh...you typed the address into google instead of the address bar didn't you?

I do that shit all the time.

Push me down the stairs.

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I've had that happen (had the paper as backup luckily). Phone decided to get stuck in reboot loop.  Apparently they can look you with ID no problem, but I'm in Houston and the airport workers in Houston are some of the meanest, most unhappy people on the planet so I try to minimize the risk.

Had it happen at a football game.
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On 7/15/2023 at 8:10 AM, Frank The Tank said:

Damn, apple fritter is about the only thing in that category I eat when the kids want donuts. 

(Billy Crystal old guy voice with the constant lip smacking and phlegmy cough): I’ll be 72 in a week. Apple fritter? Ya wanna talk apple fritter? When we were first married living in Houston we used to go to Moeller’s Bakery in the Village by Rice. Best fuckin apple fritters! Petit fours were next best. Gang of sweet fat pink faced Pennsyvania Dutch ladies behind the counters. When you get old the short term memory starts to go but the old stuff - ahh, some of it you can almost taste!

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1 hour ago, Bama Llama said:

(Billy Crystal old guy voice with the constant lip smacking and phlegmy cough): I’ll be 72 in a week. Apple fritter? Ya wanna talk apple fritter? When we were first married living in Houston we used to go to Moeller’s Bakery in the Village by Rice. Best fuckin apple fritters! Petit fours were next best. Gang of sweet fat pink faced Pennsyvania Dutch ladies behind the counters. When you get old the short term memory starts to go but the old stuff - ahh, some of it you can almost taste!

Best apple fritter and pretty much any breakfast pastry I've ever had was from a little French bakery in Breckenridge, Colorado. It became a morning ritual to walk down there and eat breakfast sitting beside the river.

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On 7/27/2023 at 4:02 PM, McCroskey said:


Damn right!!

I made him get Global entry last year, he tried having a conversation with the customs agent about his travel before the interview when we landed and the guy wasn’t having any of it. He finally admits these “government” folks aren’t very social.

We drive separate to our home airport, though I can usually wake up around 5am for a 7am flight and open Find My and already see him sitting in the terminal, knowing he’s happy as a clam. It makes me smile.

Last year we did the Monaco GP and watched on a yacht, and I’ll just say Dad and I are very different personality’s but I had some ladies on the boat indulge him for some attention and a picture. He had the absolute time of his life. My mom isn’t so crazy about it but I’m thrilled I’ll have these pictures forever. He wore that lipstick like a king for the rest of the day.

b36453b2052fe0809ff8f766536824f3.jpg

3, x, 1, 2, 4

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On 7/27/2023 at 4:02 PM, McCroskey said:


Damn right!!

I made him get Global entry last year, he tried having a conversation with the customs agent about his travel before the interview when we landed and the guy wasn’t having any of it. He finally admits these “government” folks aren’t very social.

We drive separate to our home airport, though I can usually wake up around 5am for a 7am flight and open Find My and already see him sitting in the terminal, knowing he’s happy as a clam. It makes me smile.

Last year we did the Monaco GP and watched on a yacht, and I’ll just say Dad and I are very different personality’s but I had some ladies on the boat indulge him for some attention and a picture. He had the absolute time of his life. My mom isn’t so crazy about it but I’m thrilled I’ll have these pictures forever. He wore that lipstick like a king for the rest of the day.

b36453b2052fe0809ff8f766536824f3.jpg

Where's your dad's right hand? Is he giving her the Urban Meyer treatment?

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36 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Where's your dad's right hand? Is he giving her the Urban Meyer treatment?

I love the joke but unfortunately, when this was taken anyway, I see it on her shoulder.  She's touching his hand and I'm just going to assume that's so she knows where it is

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On 7/31/2023 at 11:19 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

My grandmother lived through the Dust Bowl on a farm in OK. She never ever threw away food.

I can remember her saying "High Plains, you clean your plate, its a sin to waste food."

 

 

 

Back in the early 2000’s we were at a friends and his moms house drinking and got hungry, so we start digging thru their deep freeze.  I found packages of deer meat from 1976…   I think it had actually moved deep freezes in the late 80’s or early 90’s also.  

Edited by Hook1997
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My wife reminded me that the last time she went through her mom's pantry and cleaned it out, there were spices and other things that had been expired for more than 15 years. What's amazing is that her parents had moved at least 3 times during that 15 years, so not only were the spices etc expired, but she had actually packed them, moved them, and unpacked them at least 3 times. 

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  • 1 month later...

MIL literally only uses Facebook for "the internet".  She has no clue that anything else exists.  Case in point, she is moving into a new house this week.  She drove around all day yesterday to different big box stores looking for "kleenex box covers".  Since those are apparently more important than furniture.  She came back all exasperated that she couldn't find them anywhere.  I found 50 different options on Amazon within 30 seconds.

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58 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

MIL literally only uses Facebook for "the internet".  She has no clue that anything else exists.  Case in point, she is moving into a new house this week.  She drove around all day yesterday to different big box stores looking for "kleenex box covers".  Since those are apparently more important than furniture.  She came back all exasperated that she couldn't find them anywhere.  I found 50 different options on Amazon within 30 seconds.

She could crochet one like my Mamaw use to do.  

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On 7/18/2023 at 6:04 PM, Incredulity said:

My paternal grandmother spent the last 5 years of her life foisting personal items on visitors.  I would object because I felt it’s her stuff.  My wife loves antiques.  Some of my favorite things on our walls are items Grandma gave me and my wife.

 

My mother has now reached the beginning of a similar phase.   
 

I’m gonna need a bigger house.

Went through this with Grandparents, and now parents and aunts/uncles. I bet I have 5 copies of every one of my class pictures, multiple copies of newspaper clippings from little league all stars, play programs, kindergarten crafts, etc. My mom passed last year and every time I see my step-dad he's got a box of shit for me. 

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Oh fuck off. You and your inbred family want to keep giving each other free labor and handjobs? Neat. STFU and don't lecture the rest of us who aren't poor trailer trash.
My BIL owns a large commercial landscaping company. Not for a second would I consider asking him to come fix my yard for free.
My older brother does expensive custom woodwork. I would also not ever consider asking him to spend one of his weekends designing and building me a new fireplace mantle if I just paid for the wood.
My older sister is a dentist. She would laugh at me if I asked for free dental work.
So again, go fuck yourself with the "free family labor" shaming attempts. 

Can you come take a look at my computer? I can pay in Ameros.
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