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Goredho

covid-19 mental health

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9 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Sleep cycles are definitely off. "Early" for me is before 11 am. CHIEF Jr. is in the middle of a 27 hour "nap". Went to bed about 7 this morning after shooting bows at our archery range for about 12 hours, he says he is way behind on sleep. People are sleeping 10-12 hours a day, and still feel tired. I don't understand that.

CHIEF

Sleep is key for mental health. Lack of sleep can create anxiety which only creates more sleep problems. Watch the caffeine and alcohol for a day or two, and go to sleep at a normal time.

I know it’s easy to nap, when you’re bored, which only screws up sleeping at night. And if you find your eating sugary carb snacks that triggers naps when you come down from the high.

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Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Sleep is key for mental health. Lack of sleep can create anxiety which only creates more sleep problems. Watch the caffeine and alcohol for a day or two, and go to sleep at a normal time.

I know it’s easy to nap, when you’re bored, which only screws up sleeping at night. And if you find your eating sugary carb snacks that triggers naps when you come down from the high.

Seriously, for anyone having trouble sleeping, get some exercise and indica.  If you aren’t in a state where weed is legal, buy some indica bud from a stoner friend and make your own edibles.  This is my current favorite, manufactured 10 mins away and available through a drive through window, God bless.

E0-ED9424-858-D-4-D18-AE18-EF2-C8-D18667

Physically exhaust your body during the day then eat an edible with ~10mg of THC in it an hour before bedtime.  In that hour, drink a beer or equivalent and a glass of water.  You will sleep like you chased an Ambien with a bottle of NyQuil but you will still have a brain the next day.   Hit the bathroom before you crash, otherwise there is a decent chance you will piss the bed.

You are welcome, you can pay the cashier on the way out.

Edited by Goredho

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Posted (edited)

We took a drive out to Ennis yesterday. The wife wanted to see some bluebonnets and as Ennis is the "Bluebonnet Capital of Texas", that was where she wanted to go. It was nice to shut off the devices and get out of the house for a few hours. The kids tolerated it for a bit and then their digital addiction started flaring back up and they complained about how long it was taking. In general, it was great for the wife and I. 

I've tried not to be a hard ass on them for all the time they're spending online or in front of a screen. School is now on a device. Then when school is over, they have no friends to go play with so it's back on the device. Thankfully, we got a dog in December so I can at least crack the whip on going on a walk with the dog. It's tough on where to draw the line but then I think about how the wife and I never experienced anything like this growing up. Our biggest threat was a nuclear war with the Soviet Union which would've just killed us instantly. We didn't have to deal with an invisible threat that caused everyone to stay home. So I try to weigh how they might be feeling coupled with the fact that these are very social creatures for their age (12 and 9). They don't get to see their friends every day and that's got to be extremely difficult. The lack of school is really the hardest aspect for them. I've worked from home for years so it's never been a big deal when they were home all summer. But the inability to do even normal things like go to the park or a playground have made it tougher.

I think it has affected my younger one more. She's extremely sensitive and normally the easier of the two kids to deal with. She's acting up a lot more and showing signs of being slightly depressed. Her birthday is coming up on Thursday and that was really the only thing she outwardly cried about, the fact that she won't get a birthday party this year or have her class celebrate her birthday. And that tears me up a bit. So we're going to try to give her something nice on her birthday. Put balloons around the house, get her takeout from the place we always go for birthday dinners. Her classmates are fairly spread out so asking them to drive by and say hi could be a failure. I'm going to see if her teacher can do a Zoom call where the class could maybe sing her happy birthday. We got all her presents in so she'll still get those. We plan to do some fun things next weekend that she might enjoy like camping in the backyard or doing a movie outdoors. I think her party was going to be a sleepover with her friends.  The older one is fine. Most of her friends are online so they can play Roblox together or chat on Discord (not a fan). Her biggest issue is when you try to say device time is over, she gets ornery and turns into a bit of an asshole. 

I'm ready for some state parks to open because if anything, we can do a few of those. Before this all went to hell, we spent a week in the Big Bend area which was wonderful. No devices except for cameras. Natural beauty all around. It was great for the soul. I need more of that. 

Edited by mdmost

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The 'not being able to hang with friends' and just be stuck with parents would be sheer torture.

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Posted (edited)

No doubt. Though I count us lucky, I couldn't imagine either having full blown teenagers or really young kids during this time. Ours are fairly self-sufficient. If I had to lord over them and help them through their school work, it would be a lot more difficult. They are pretty good about getting to work and turning in their assignments. Though I do catch the older one quickly switching between apps when I walk in the room. I think she either has some games going at any given time or is talking with her friends on Discord or Zoom. I figured out how to disable the wifi on the different devices in our house after a certain time from my desktop. So I've been using that as a carrot on a stick to get her to not be an ass about too much screen time. If she gets too ridiculous, wifi is disabled after school time is over at 3pm. If she's being decent, wifi is extended till 5, which is normally when we take the dog on her evening walk. Then she can have a little more time before dinner at 6:30. But it all goes off at 7pm. I've caught her up at midnight chatting with friends. Yeah, that's not happening. If she could be reasonable, the limits wouldn't have to be set. But she can't be that so they are set. 

Edited by mdmost

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I had to change my work schedule from 10 hours/4 days a week to a regular 8-5 M-F, due to this pandemic. I swear I haven't felt better in quite a while. Not dragging ass on the way to work at 6, not falling asleep in my chair at home at 6:30. I don't think I was getting enough sleep, nor was I getting quality sleep. I would wake up feeling nauseous almost every day, hoping it would pass by the time I got out of the shower. And I really think it's helped mentally as well. I still get irritated but it doesn't linger, I just feel too good for it to stick. There was talk about my office geting rid of alternative schedules but even if they don't, I don't think I can go back. Working on Friday sucks but it's a small price to pay to feel this much better.

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On 4/19/2020 at 7:42 AM, Goredho said:

Seriously, for anyone having trouble sleeping, get some exercise and indica.  If you aren’t in a state where weed is legal, buy some indica bud from a stoner friend and make your own edibles.  This is my current favorite, manufactured 10 mins away and available through a drive through window, God bless.

E0-ED9424-858-D-4-D18-AE18-EF2-C8-D18667

Physically exhaust your body during the day then eat an edible with ~10mg of THC in it an hour before bedtime.  In that hour, drink a beer or equivalent and a glass of water.  You will sleep like you chased an Ambien with a bottle of NyQuil but you will still have a brain the next day.   Hit the bathroom before you crash, otherwise there is a decent chance you will piss the bed.

You are welcome, you can pay the cashier on the way out.

I've gotten much better about working out during all this. Having several unhealthy eating and drinking habits,  a job that used to require a lot of travel and limited time to work out, plus being closer to the at risk age group than I care to admit forced me to make some lifestyle changes for the better. With the weather as nice as it's been, I've been riding the mountain bike every day or every other day for an hour or more at a time. I downloaded Strava and discovered you can compare yourself with other users on the same trails, so I've been hitting it pretty hard because I'm a competitive motherfucker. In normal times I've got to be in Denver once a month or so, so I've got a collection of high quality oil cartridges. An hour plus high intensity bike ride and three puffs of the Indica strain vape pen before bed and I sleep like a dead man.

I still have some work to do on the diet...doesn't help that Mrs Rojo and my daughter have taken to baking almost every day to kill time, but I feel good about the fitness base I'm building and once I get the diet under control I should drop weight pretty quick.  

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Posted (edited)

Saturday and Sunday I took walks at sundown around my neighborhood in Brentwood with a drink in my Yeti Rambler.  It was amazing how still and quiet the town was, with such little traffic.  Most of the time I was walking right in the middle of major thoroughfares like Arroyo Seco, Woodrow, and North Loop, and rarely had to move to the side of the road for cars.  I thought to myself that other than a day like Christmas Eve, I don't know if I'll have evening walks like this ever again.  It was food for the soul.       

Edited by South Austin

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Well, one of CHIEF Jr.'s best friends is going insane. He graduated UT in January with a B.S. in Economics. He had jobs waiting for him at Exxon/Mobil and Morning Star Partners (company owned by Bob Simpson former CEO of XTO). Of course those never materialized with the oilfield volatility. He has applied for over 300 jobs and has had several interviews, but with the pandemic, nothing has materialized. His twin brother is an accountant in Dallas, and luckily got a job right before all of this went down. Will pretty much lives with us and his grand parents, his Dad is a raging alcoholic, shitty home life. He is ADHD and not taking meds. He just rambles incessantly. He has a roof over his head, a car that's paid for, and plenty to eat, but he is just "doom and gloom". He's brilliant and a hard worker, but an idle mind is the Devil's playground. His mom and grandparents would gladly foot the bill if he were to work on his Masters and PhD. He has two uncles that are college professors. We are discussing sitting down with him tonight to help discuss his options and give him a pep talk, just a sad situation all the way around. 

So, to the point. If you know a recent college graduate that is struggling, let them know these are unprecedented times, and it's not their fault that jobs are almost nonexistent. The World was their oyster when they graduated, but now all they have is just shells. But this too shall pass.

CHIEF

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Lots of unfair shit happening to graduates right now. . .My son's got guaranteed employment in the US Army for the next 4 years as he pays off college, but many of his friends busted their asses for years, went through the corporate recruiting process and got offer letters, which were then rescinded.  Anectodally he says that over half of his fellow seniors that had employment lined up had similar things happen.

Daughter worked her ass off to earn a scholarship to study abroad in Peru this summer in a immersive Spanish environment, cancelled.  And of course the Bar/Grill where she works is closed - she meets the threshold for unemployment (earned over the $2500 or whatever in 2019) so I recommended she apply for it.

To @CHIEFs point, these kids are awesome planners, they are both keeping 3.9+ GPAs, just all in all highly motivated overachievers. . .all they want to do is set a goal and then go achieve it - son's gonna be ok, he's going to Korea for a year after a summer at Fort Sam Houston, but daughter is having a tough time.  And I'm not feeling good about the $60K in checks I've written to her university for the last 2 years, especially if they have any difficulties getting back to the business of education.  Hell, the Professors are as unmotivated as the students. . I can't help but think "holy shit, I'm paying for this????" when her online classes get cancelled, or the professors aren't really teaching. . .big picture - things are wonderful, we are blessed.  But my heart breaks for seniors right now.

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The uncertainty is wearing on me.

Most definitely.
I mean, I’m telling myself repeatedly “you gotta roll with it,” but I’m not really good at listening to myself. I think myself is fulla shit.

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Posted (edited)

I am doing ok mentally.  No one else I know has died.  I have cut down my consumption of news/information and that has helped my mental health lot.  I tune in to the governor and keep an eye the official stats on cases, hospitalizations and deaths here in Colorado.  Most of the rest of the information is superfluous and not helpful to how my family and I conduct our daily life.  Someone will text me if there is a breakthrough in antibody testing, treatments or vacciines.

Colorado has been in phase one of reopening since 4/26 with no spike in those metrics yet, so we have a tenative plan to hang out with two neighbors (5 people in addition to our 5) this weekend with the following rules:

1. Strictly outside.  Go home if you need to piss or shit.

2.  Strictly daytime.

3. Sit in clusters with your family members

4.  Clusters are 10 feet or more apart

5.  Bring your own shit (beer, MJ, lawn chairs,etc...)

I think our risk of infection will be low.  We all live in a rural area with 10 acres or more of property, work remote and have only been going out for necessities while wearing masks and so forth. No one has any symptoms, not that it really matters with covid-19.

Im looking forward to drinking a couple beers, having a couple gummies and shooting the shit with someone other than my wife.

 

Edited by Goredho

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For those of you in Texas with a 4x4, Padre Island National Seashore is open for camping and it’s like 60 miles of beach to spread out on from the entrance at Corpus to the land cut.  I would be surprised if you can’t find a spot where you could be isolated with your family while camping. 

ED5-C7-AC3-5-D9-E-43-EB-9124-A9-B62-FEA3

https://www.nps.gov/pais/learn/news/padre-island-national-seashore-is-beginning-to-increase-recreational-access-allowing-overnight-beach-camping.htm

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On 4/19/2020 at 6:59 AM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Sleep is key for mental health. Lack of sleep can create anxiety which only creates more sleep problems. Watch the caffeine and alcohol for a day or two, and go to sleep at a normal time.

I know it’s easy to nap, when you’re bored, which only screws up sleeping at night. And if you find your eating sugary carb snacks that triggers naps when you come down from the high.

Truth.  For the last couple of weeks I've been getting less and less sleep. Although in the beginning I didn't worry about it much, now I can't get the Covid-19 shit out of my head and I wake up every 30 minutes or.  It's really getting stressful.

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On 4/24/2020 at 12:24 PM, BearSchlong said:

Lots of unfair shit happening to graduates right now. . .My son's got guaranteed employment in the US Army for the next 4 years as he pays off college, but many of his friends busted their asses for years, went through the corporate recruiting process and got offer letters, which were then rescinded.  Anectodally he says that over half of his fellow seniors that had employment lined up had similar things happen.

Daughter worked her ass off to earn a scholarship to study abroad in Peru this summer in a immersive Spanish environment, cancelled.  And of course the Bar/Grill where she works is closed - she meets the threshold for unemployment (earned over the $2500 or whatever in 2019) so I recommended she apply for it.

To @CHIEFs point, these kids are awesome planners, they are both keeping 3.9+ GPAs, just all in all highly motivated overachievers. . .all they want to do is set a goal and then go achieve it - son's gonna be ok, he's going to Korea for a year after a summer at Fort Sam Houston, but daughter is having a tough time.  And I'm not feeling good about the $60K in checks I've written to her university for the last 2 years, especially if they have any difficulties getting back to the business of education.  Hell, the Professors are as unmotivated as the students. . I can't help but think "holy shit, I'm paying for this????" when her online classes get cancelled, or the professors aren't really teaching. . .big picture - things are wonderful, we are blessed.  But my heart breaks for seniors right now.

Stumbled upon this article yesterday.

How Corona will disrupt the future of higher ed

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Here's a study in The Lancet Psychiatry journal that used unemployment to predict suicide trends:

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30141-3/fulltext

In the high scenario, the worldwide unemployment rate would increase from 4·936% to 5·644%, which would be associated with an increase in suicides of about 9570 per year. In the low scenario, the unemployment would increase to 5·088%, associated with an increase of about 2135 suicides.

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We’re really still pretty much at the starting line in this mess. I expect that we’ll see shit blowing up by the end of the summer. I’ve talked to a few people that are far more terrified at just not knowing how long/far that federal and local government will go to stretch this out.

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Posted (edited)

my house construction is complete and i have been cooking non stop for 4 days now... somebody in the other thread told me several weeks ago my problem was i needed a hobby...well cooking is one of my hobbies and i've had no kitchen for 2 months...!

regardless... completion of the work has had a significant impact on my outlook. 

living in a construction zone... not the easiest thing if there's NOT a global pandemic 😐

i also started nature hiking about a month ago... just local greenbelts and parks. that has made a tremendous difference, just getting out and seeing something beautiful. 

altho, as a single female with a CHL i did think a couple of times that maybe i should be carrying...i went about 45 minutes on a backtrail in the Balcones Canyonlands without seeing another person...i realized i was pretty remote at one point. i might need to look that up...

also, i booked 5 nights in port a starting sunday. we'll take everything from here and cook/prepare every meal,  plan to limit contact with locals or others. 

so... i'm feeling better than i was 6 weeks ago. i was having... very dark thoughts for a few weeks there.

mainly...i have grown to hate the phrase 'the new normal'. i get emotional just thinking of it...

nothing about this is normal. not to me. some will adjust, some will be jackasses /no cr. i don't mean it like 'mah rights are being violated!!' i'm not that kind of person. 

i just mean... the person i am, what i enjoy about life, what i was looking forward to in retirement, our future plans...'the new normal' can fuck right off. and if it doesn't, if it's really here to stay,  well... honestly i just don't know. i can't really picture the future right now. 

Edited by mchookem

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This one will fucking tear you up, so fair warning.   I can't imagine what these guys are going through, but damn if it isn't a good reminder to stay aware of your kids' mental health as best you can.

 

 

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4 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

This one will fucking tear you up, so fair warning.   I can't imagine what these guys are going through, but damn if it isn't a good reminder to stay aware of your kids' mental health as best you can.

 

 

That is fucking brutal :/

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I can't emphasize enough the importance of enjoying humor in hard times, for me anyway. I've laughed at cancer and covid. I will laugh at a meteor if it ever shows its stupid face around here. Were the Jewish people a comic font despite their great suffering or because of it? I find that when I'm able to step back from the moment and observe it rather than being a terrified passenger for the whole ride, life's ubiquitous humor and absurdity almost invariably presents itself. This exercise of stepping back has intrinsic value IMO.

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Anybody else struggling with the inability to detect when someone else is smiling or the frustration of not being able to convey your smile through the mask while in public?

We cannot shake hands, and damned sure cannot hug or pat someone on the back.  Now we cannot even share the expression of joy or happiness to see a friend or even a complete stranger.

Maybe I need to just get the fuck over it... but it lingers.   We need that exchange among us, IMHO.

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I agree. It’s like living some real twilight zone or black mirror movie.

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For me the malaise is really starting to set in. I’ve managed to keep up with my in-home lifting routine and take frequent walks. But this past week it was so hard to get out of bed each morning. I’ve always been an early riser who pops right out of bed, and I find myself staying in bed an extra hour or so before starting my day. I don’t consciously feel depressed but the home confinement is starting to get to me.

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We took some take out over to a friend's house last night and sat on opposite ends of their long, rectangular patio table last night. The wife hasn't really left the house except for few things during this so it was good for her to have some adult conversation. Our kids sat across from their kids to talk and play some games. I think everyone had a great night. It was nice just to get out for a bit. I've been going over to mdleast's every Tuesday for some beers where we'll sit out on the lawn. Things we used to do when we'd watch sports in his backyard on the projector. That's been what's kept me from going insane during this. School's pretty much over so we'll have to see how we can manage all 4 of us being here. When it starts to get really hot, that's going to suck. We got a little 12X9 inflatable pool from Target that will come in handy for a bit of a breather from the heat. They have one really good friend that has a pool. If they invite the kids over, we'll take them up on it. 

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I have one kid, a boy who will turn 10 next Friday. If I didn't already feel a bit guilty about having an only child, I sure as shit do now. He's a social kid who is now on the devices all the damn time because it's his only connection to friends. His birthday will be lonely, summer camps are up in the air and anxiety-producing even if they go forward, and now 3 canceled vacations that were going to be awesome.  This is all just really sad, and for me, the lack of any idea of an end point is psychologically fucking me up. Now I'm starting to worry about my job security, with Abbott's 5% budget cut mandate (which our agency told us is just the beginning). 

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Can you do something with his friends for his birthday? A car parade or a Zoom call? We did that for ours when she turned 10 and it helped. 

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Posted (edited)

One of the things opening up around here in CO are white water rafting day trips.  Dunno if float tubing the Guadalupe is open, but you could probably have 2-3 families floating close by but socially distant.  Drive down in separate cars, bring your own cooler, keep 15 feet or so between the family clusters.

Edited by Goredho

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He's not really into the car parade idea (which I'm glad of) but maybe we'll get some friends to surprise him on Zoom. Thanks. Think we're going to trek to the drive-thru safari zoo in Johnson City and with gifts and cake, he'll probably be cool.  

Floating the river is an idea, although everything like that feels like I'd have to overcome inertia to get it organized and spouse sure as shit wouldn't be willing to do that. Got kind of a weird spousal situation and sometimes feel like a single parent. We do have a trip planned to the hill country for June 7, some resort that's basically self-contained condos w/kitchens, we'll bring our own food and hike etc, no housekeeping during the stay. I don't know if that's safe enough -- will they have people in our unit right before us, is check-in pretty contactless?....but I'm starting to feel like some risk is inevitable if we are ever going to leave the house and do something. Which I desperately need, for sure. Thanks for the ideas.

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1 hour ago, South Austin said:

For me the malaise is really starting to set in. I’ve managed to keep up with my in-home lifting routine and take frequent walks. But this past week it was so hard to get out of bed each morning. I’ve always been an early riser who pops right out of bed, and I find myself staying in bed an extra hour or so before starting my day. I don’t consciously feel depressed but the home confinement is starting to get to me.

Do you even lift bro? Lie detector determined that was a lie ...

Jokes aside, I think you know why of late you haven't been an early riser and that has more to do with what your personal situation has been. Good chance you've been having some recurring subconscious thoughts based on what you've lived through. <Fist bump>

 

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4 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Jokes aside, I think you know why of late you haven't been an early riser and that has more to do with what your personal situation has been. Good chance you've been having some recurring subconscious thoughts based on what you've lived through. <Fist bump>

 

Maybe, but it doesn’t feel like it’s tied into any facet of my current or former personal situation, other than it’s just hard to be motivated to get out of bed when you don’t really have anywhere to go. 

And back at you with the fist bump, friend.

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Sometimes I have the urge to get away from my family and be alone, but there’s nowhere to go. Why are ALL coffee shops closed for dine-in?

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Posted (edited)

I do all the necessity runs for this reason. Pick up the groceries (online ordering with pickup because F going inside a store right now), bag of coffee from our local drive through coffee shop, Target pickups my wife needs done, and of course trips to the local growler shop that's doing curbside. I also go on walks with the dog where it's just the two of us.

Edited by mdmost

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Posted (edited)

going in the stores is scary?

I go in a minimum of 10 a day and have done so for the duration of this fiasco.

 

Not feeling so courageous...   seriously.  But it does make me ask, "WTF?"

Edited by Iceman

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Posted (edited)

Didn't say it was scary. I hate grocery stores to begin with as they're too tightly packed in as far as small aisles, assholes who don't know common courtesy, obliviates who linger over areas when you just need to grab a quick item. Now add having to keep 6 feet away from those people while trying to navigate around a store. The few times I've gone during this have been beyond aggravating. For my mental health, I'm fine with letting someone else do the assembling of my order and I just pick it up when they're done. My wife has been telling me for years that I should just switch to home delivery, that it was worth the money just to save the aggravation. Again, she was right. 

Edited by mdmost

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This one will fucking tear you up, so fair warning.   I can't imagine what these guys are going through, but damn if it isn't a good reminder to stay aware of your kids' mental health as best you can.
 
 

Oh crap I know Brad. Terrible to hear.

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1 hour ago, Iceman said:

going in the stores is scary?

I go in a minimum of 10 a day and have done so for the duration of this fiasco.

 

Not feeling so courageous...   seriously.  But it does make me ask, "WTF?"

Serious question---why do you need to go into 10+ stores a day to shop?  Or is it part of your job, I'm guessing?  

I'm not scared of going into stores, I just don't go in to any I don't absolutely need to be inside of.  It's just physics, the less small spaces you share with the minimum number of people for the minimum amount of time necessary, the better off you are at not acquiring this virus.  

I'm just not dying to browse at my neighborhood Stein Mart right now.  And with all this extra time to reflect on my life, maybe I never was cut out to be a Stein Mart browser this whole time anyway,   Whoah!  

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Posted (edited)

Part of what i do for a living.

positives: no interuption of income.  Some bonuses about to end for 'Covid duty.'

Negatives: Go into the crucible( LOL) multiple times basically every day and try not to act scared( tee-hee.)

Edited by Iceman

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On ‎5‎/‎14‎/‎2020 at 8:32 AM, Samson's Wig said:

This one will fucking tear you up, so fair warning.   I can't imagine what these guys are going through, but damn if it isn't a good reminder to stay aware of your kids' mental health as best you can.

 

 

So I finally got around to watching this video, and Brad, wherever you are, good will come from your story. 

On Friday my 13-year-old daughter asked if she could meet up with a nearby friend for a "social-distance walk."  I knew there was a chance they might not exercise the same degree of caution as adults, but I also knew she was starved for interaction with a friend apart from texting, FaceTime, and Zoom calls.  So I happily let her go, knowing this was the first time she was going to be physically present with a friend since the Friday before Spring Break.  She was gone for 3.5 to 4 hours, and I actually started to get worried and texted her.  Turns out they walked all the way to Northwest Park for a picnic and took their time getting back.  No matter; when she got back to my house she looked like somebody injected her with pure happiness.  I never thought she was down; she's a pretty mature, solid, and even-keeled old soul for an eighth-grader.  But she looked like a different person after hanging out with a friend. 

It's hard enough for adults.  But we may not be picking up on how truly tough this is for our kids.     

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For those of you with kids that are struggling I have this question:

What are you afraid of with regard to letting them live their lives?  

Infection for them?  Infection for you?  Infection for some rando 3 or 4 steps removed from you? 

Theres literally zero way I’m letting this negatively affect my 3 kids if there’s anything I can do about it. 

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I'm afraid, though not to a debilitating extend, that my two little girls will pick it up somewhere because they touch everything and then put their fingers in their mouths as soon as is humanly possible.  They bring it to me and I deteriorate quickly due to some pre-existing conditions.  I have to watch my children watch me choke out in a week's time, having neither the time nor the strength to tell them everything I need to tell them, to hug them, to give them a lasting memory of me.  I can do all of those things today and I did, but it won't stop any of us from spending a week looking at each other through a hospital window and feeling like the universe is robbing of us a joyous life together, the life we were meant to have.  And the little one, who is just this month in quarantine, just learning how to ask/phrase questions comes home from the hospital, unaware of what just happened and stumbles around the house asking, "Where's Da-da?"  And her older sister has to tell her I'm not coming home.  then my wife, as a meticulous German researcher contact traces my last two weeks and realizes the high likelihood that one of the kids brought it home from school.  She'll have to live with that feeling (she'd never tell my girls obviously) for the rest of her life, watching her daughters grow up without a father because of a quite avoidable infection.  

Having said that, I still leave the house a few times a week for work and food.  We signed my oldest up for summer school (in person) starting 7/1 this week.  And we enrolled in Spanish Immersion Kindergarten for next year in whatever form our ISD deems safe.  We're keeping the 1 year old at home though, her preschool (glorified daycare) isn't worth it and their plan for how to conduct it this summer/Autumn wasn't terribly confidence-inducing.  

I can live with fear.  It's never paralyzed me like it does most.  But the regret I'll feel on that hospital bed, and the regret my wife will feel for decades, and the life robbed from my children will haunt all four of us.  Now if I'm just stupid out in public and I pick it up on my own and get sick, well that's just the price I pay for socializing with stupid people.  

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2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I'm afraid, though not to a debilitating extend, that my two little girls will pick it up somewhere because they touch everything and then put their fingers in their mouths as soon as is humanly possible.  They bring it to me and I deteriorate quickly due to some pre-existing conditions.  I have to watch my children watch me choke out in a week's time, having neither the time nor the strength to tell them everything I need to tell them, to hug them, to give them a lasting memory of me.  I can do all of those things today and I did, but it won't stop any of us from spending a week looking at each other through a hospital window and feeling like the universe is robbing of us a joyous life together, the life we were meant to have.  And the little one, who is just this month in quarantine, just learning how to ask/phrase questions comes home from the hospital, unaware of what just happened and stumbles around the house asking, "Where's Da-da?"  And her older sister has to tell her I'm not coming home.  then my wife, as a meticulous German researcher contact traces my last two weeks and realizes the high likelihood that one of the kids brought it home from school.  She'll have to live with that feeling (she'd never tell my girls obviously) for the rest of her life, watching her daughters grow up without a father because of a quite avoidable infection.  

Having said that, I still leave the house a few times a week for work and food.  We signed my oldest up for summer school (in person) starting 7/1 this week.  And we enrolled in Spanish Immersion Kindergarten for next year in whatever form our ISD deems safe.  We're keeping the 1 year old at home though, her preschool (glorified daycare) isn't worth it and their plan for how to conduct it this summer/Autumn wasn't terribly confidence-inducing.  

I can live with fear.  It's never paralyzed me like it does most.  But the regret I'll feel on that hospital bed, and the regret my wife will feel for decades, and the life robbed from my children will haunt all four of us.  Now if I'm just stupid out in public and I pick it up on my own and get sick, well that's just the price I pay for socializing with stupid people.  

Wow.  You're a lot more fun on the Music and Movies & TV threads.  Can we get that Lobo, please?

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