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cactusflinthead

Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

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My daughter attempted suicide last night. She’s recovering in the hospital now.

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3 hours ago, XYZ said:

My daughter attempted suicide last night. She’s recovering in the hospital now.

so sorry, man.  hang in there and try to keep your head up.

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4 hours ago, XYZ said:

My daughter attempted suicide last night. She’s recovering in the hospital now.

Oh man. I can't imagine. I hope this is the bottom. 

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Thanks for the kind words. She’s been at Dell Children’s since last night, but they just informed us that they don’t have a bed for her in the psychiatric ward (supposedly they only have 16 beds there), so they will likely transfer her to Austin Oaks. Pretty frustrating that THE pediatric hospital in the city is sending us away.

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So...anybody know of any boarding schools in central Texas that would have doctors on staff and be able to keep a troubled teenager safe?

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6 hours ago, XYZ said:

So...anybody know of any boarding schools in central Texas that would have doctors on staff and be able to keep a troubled teenager safe?

I don’t think we have many boarding schools in Texas. TMI in SA & San Marcos Academy are boarding schools, but pretty rigorous/stressful academically. Marine Military Academy in Harlingen is entirely boarding school kids I think, not too intense academically, and definitely gives the students tons of structure & attention. However it’s all-boys and seemed like just a school for fuck-ups from rich families that got in trouble and got sent down to get corrected. 

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13 hours ago, XYZ said:

So...anybody know of any boarding schools in central Texas that would have doctors on staff and be able to keep a troubled teenager safe?

Looking around at the googles I found a list. Most of them seem to be geared towards substance abuse, you're probably going to have talk to them to find the right one. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-rehab/residential-boarding-school/texas

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Not Central Texas, but here's one for girls near Houston.  Doesn't appear to be primarily substance abuse.  https://www.fulsheartransition.com/

Despite there being a significant profit motive in many "treatment centers," a lot of the people in them tend to be very helpful.

This place, The Meadows, is regarded as pretty much a gold standard on substance abuse co-occurring with other issues.  I suspect they might be helpful.  https://www.themeadows.com/

Edited by TwiceHorn

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23 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

Not Central Texas, but here's one for girls near Houston.  Doesn't appear to be primarily substance abuse.  https://www.fulsheartransition.com/

Despite there being a significant profit motive in many "treatment centers," a lot of the people in them tend to be very helpful.

This place, The Meadows, is regarded as pretty much a gold standard on substance abuse co-occurring with other issues.  I suspect they might be helpful.  https://www.themeadows.com/

Thanks. Unfortunately those two places are for 18+ year old women. My kid is 16.

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On 1/26/2020 at 11:07 AM, XYZ said:

Thanks. Unfortunately those two places are for 18+ year old women. My kid is 16.

You call any of them on the psytoday list? 

I know Hockaday is all girls and they probably have docs, but I don't think that's where she ought to go. 

Man, I'd be a goddamn mess. I hope you're doing ok. How is it going? 

Maybe a couple of weeks or months at a camp or something. Sometimes a hard physical endeavor gets us out of the funk long enough to grasp some clarity. It at the very least gets us out of the environment we were in. 

Spitballing here. 

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From all I know, Hockaday is a very high-pressure environment.  They do have boarding, but it's a small minority, and I imagine they do have psychologists, but I don't think it's the place you're looking for.

I found one, in Austin, for girls https://www.cedaridge.net/g/Girls-Boarding-Schools/Austin-Texas-TX/

It looks like the magic terminology is "therapeutic boarding school."

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40 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

From all I know, Hockaday is a very high-pressure environment.  They do have boarding, but it's a small minority, and I imagine they do have psychologists, but I don't think it's the place you're looking for.

I found one, in Austin, for girls https://www.cedaridge.net/g/Girls-Boarding-Schools/Austin-Texas-TX/

It looks like the magic terminology is "therapeutic boarding school."

Yeah, I didn't think it was a good idea either, but I'm down to grasping at straws. High pressure is damn right. if anything it might make shit worse.But, it was all I had.

Sweatergawd, I'm looking at anything. I don't know what the hell to say.

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To anyone dealing with mental health issues, either personally or with a loved one, the main thing to realize or communicate is you are not alone. Millions of people deal with mental health everyday to a varying degree. As someone who has dealt with this personally and with loved ones, one major reoccuring fear is that you are the only people dealing with this issue, there is a feeling of shame, and you are alone. And nothing could be further from the truth. As this thread demonstrates, everyone deals with this stuff. Your mother has mental health issues. Your father has mental health issues. Your best friend has mental health issues. Your daughter has mental health issues. There is nothing wrong with it. It is the same thing as a broken leg. You have to address the issue, get medical care, whether it is medicine or therapy, but people deal with them and it does get better. I am proof. You are proof. 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

To anyone dealing with mental health issues, either personally or with a loved one, the main thing to realize or communicate is you are not alone. Millions of people deal with mental health everyday to a varying degree. As someone who has dealt with this personally and with loved ones, one major reoccuring fear is that you are the only people dealing with this issue, there is a feeling of shame, and you are alone. And nothing could be further from the truth. As this thread demonstrates, everyone deals with this stuff. Your mother has mental health issues. Your father has mental health issues. Your best friend has mental health issues. Your daughter has mental health issues. There is nothing wrong with it. It is the same thing as a broken leg. You have to address the issue, get medical care, whether it is medicine or therapy, but people deal with them and it does get better. I am proof. You are proof. 

Thanks for saying that. It does indeed feel pretty fucking lonely, dealing with this.

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8 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

To anyone dealing with mental health issues, either personally or with a loved one, the main thing to realize or communicate is you are not alone. Millions of people deal with mental health everyday to a varying degree. As someone who has dealt with this personally and with loved ones, one major reoccuring fear is that you are the only people dealing with this issue, there is a feeling of shame, and you are alone. And nothing could be further from the truth. As this thread demonstrates, everyone deals with this stuff. Your mother has mental health issues. Your father has mental health issues. Your best friend has mental health issues. Your daughter has mental health issues. There is nothing wrong with it. It is the same thing as a broken leg. You have to address the issue, get medical care, whether it is medicine or therapy, but people deal with them and it does get better. I am proof. You are proof. 

 

 

this is the truth.   plenty of us have been through some shit or seen some shit.   not all the exact same flavor but definitely in the ballpark.   lots voices of experience around these parts 

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Haven’t check in on this thread in a while. Hang in there XYZ. I don’t have any words of comfort other than just love on her and know she’s not alone. Life sometimes is nothing but a sack of rocks. I’m praying she reconnects with her joy of life and can lean on that and you to see this through.

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On 1/29/2020 at 9:55 PM, Bill Brasky said:

this is the truth.   plenty of us have been through some shit or seen some shit.   not all the exact same flavor but definitely in the ballpark.   lots voices of experience around these parts 

Which also raises the point that most mental illnesses, no matter how facially different, probably have more in common than different.  Someone dealing with an eating disorder, or substance abuse problem, or their family, may have a lot to offer someone dealing with seemingly simpler depression and anxiety or bipolar.

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And that's why I read along over at the AA thread. In fact it was something that happened over there that motivated me to hit post on this thread. 

We're all in this together whether or not we see it or know it. The stuff that makes you depressed and/or anxious might not be the same as mine, but it sure has the same effect. 

Edited by cactusflinthead

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Well boys, tomorrow I am presenting a "Lunch and Learn" session at ... Raytheon. In addition to the employees who will be there live, it is being broadcast on Raytheon's internal broadcast network. 

I am bringing Dr. Stephanie Setliff from the Eating Recovery Center to do the heavy lifting.

The first large corporation we will be addressing. It feels like the night before a big trial ... anxious, anticipatory, confident, nervous.

Stay on the path ... Stay on the path.

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Today, I did a solo temporary water prevention (i.e. put synthetic vapor barrier [instead of felt] on a roof) today for a house in Kyle that got hit with that mini-tornado back around 3 or 4 weeks ago.

My back is killing me, I almost slipped 4x on loose shingle grit (3Tab roof, so pretty flat) & I tweaked something in one of the recoveries.

 

Plus, I'm probably 3 or 4 days behind schedule in getting contracts out to customers because I've been rolling solo on a lot of work & having to drive my daughter to get started on her GS cookie sales (her stretch goal is 2,000 individual boxes) until my wife can arrive from work.

 

I'm beat to hell.

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Have any of you ever experienced anxiety induced weight loss? I'm on a journey to lose weight the natural way BUT 10 years ago I had a panic attack. Heavy breathing, heart rate at 160, blood pressure through the roof, and an ER doc falsely told me I had a heart rhythm problem. A year and a half after that I finally had a cardiologist tell me that my heart is 100% in shape but it was torture the entire time. Weight went from 220 to 205 and my anxiety symptoms came in the form of an uncontrollable bladder. Literally felt like I had to piss every 5 minutes. It was horrible. People kept telling me "wow you look great! that diet and exercise is working" yet the only thing that kept me sane was lying on the couch or in my bed watching chappelle show reruns. I'm so thankful I passed that point in my life and if you're experiencing something like that I got your back. Been there done that. You will bounce back.

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Marriage problems + unexpected job loss (one I really liked) led to some anxiety related weight loss for me. I just could gaf about eating most of the time and lived on coffee and gummy bears through a reallllly tough stretch of time while looking for another job. 
 

Things have settled a bit now that things have calmed down (on the marriage and job front) but I still fall back into those rhythms during rough patches. Exercise and time with friends i have found is the best thing to reset myself and get back to a healthy appetite and mindset. 

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I lost 50-60 pounds in 13 months during the financial crisis as I watched my business implode. Lost everything. Diet Coke and trail mix was all I could eat. I had a double double whataburger once a week for some strange reason though.

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Add me to the opposite of ‘stress eating’... I’ll shed 10 lbs in a couple months of busy season typically. Beef jerky and peanuts making up 40% of my caloric intake then.

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I don’t “stress eat” too much, but I stop giving a shit about what I eat. Like, I had basically quit eating bread a long time ago, and the other day I was like “ehh, fuck it”.

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Just came back from dropping my daughter off at a “wilderness” program. Hopefully this will help her. Nothing else did. And I need some healing myself from all the shit she put me through over the past several months.

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I'm gonna find a way to laugh. 

In the face of a terror that threatens us all.

A tiny bundle of genetic material is not the same as a plane falling out of the sky. This attack is faceless. 

My stupid cat. The derpy dog. The first shoots of spring. I can find it. This joy that's been so elusive in recent days. 

It's there. 

We're all in this together. Hang on.

I've said that a dozen times already and it's no less true this dark night. 

I'll not be a stranger to my happiness forever. 

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Been thinking about this today, the first day this whole thing really hit me.  Seeing reports that the unemployment rate may soon hit 20% or higher, our favorite restaurant(s) likely to go out of business, and all the people in the hospitality and oil and gas industry about to be out of a job...my heart goes out to them.

Would not be surprised to see a spike in suicides this year as so many people are likely facing financial ruin.

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Straight up didn't want to break the seal on this thread. I was afraid I was going to meltdown in a puddle of tears. I had to dig up some guts enough to go look for something to smile about. I'm Very Prone to denying any reason to have hope when I'm in the throes of depression. I don't want to hear it. I'm gonna waller around in my mud pit and I don't want you to offer me a hand. I'll actually fight you on it. 

This has not served me well. I have to suspend my own understanding? 

That maybe of the farmer. Because ultimately it is my own pride that tells me I have a good handle on the situation which stinks. I don't. It's freeing to know that I don't know. And I can laugh at the stupid cat. I can stop and look at the flowers. Enjoy the coffee.

I had to force myself for to find something to smile about. 

It was worth it. 

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Parable of the Chinese Farmer is a good reminder in these times.  I think I’ve posted it before in this forum or the Alcoholic board. 

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On 3/21/2020 at 7:59 PM, Reagan1k said:

Parable of the Chinese Farmer is a good reminder in these times.  I think I’ve posted it before in this forum or the Alcoholic board. 

It's been at least twice in here. It's a good thing to post repeatedly. We can stand to hear it again. 

I hope y'all are hanging in there. 

If someone wants to go on a rant. Have at it. We can take it to CR if you just gotta get political. I do. This thread has never been about that and I hope it stays that way.

keep on rocking 

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There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this…

A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We’ll see.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, and you'll starve without his help; what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We’ll see.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We’ll see.”

The moral of this story, is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate, but that only time will tell the whole story. Additionally, no one really lives long enough to find out the ‘whole story,’ so it could be considered a great waste of time to judge minor inconveniences as misfortunes or to invest tons of energy into things that look outstanding on the surface, but may not pay off in the end.

The wiser thing, then, is to live life in moderation, keeping as even a temperament as possible, taking all things in stride, whether they originally appear to be ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Life is much more comfortable and comforting if we merely accept what we’re given and make the best of our life circumstances. Rather than always having to pass judgement on things and declare them as good or bad, it would be better to just sit back and say, “It will be interesting to see what happens.”

The human experience (life) is what happens while my mind is busy making future plans.

A speaker once said that we are simply spiritual beings,  being walked through a human experience.

I don't know much, but what I do know is that I can't dwell on or pass accurate judgments as on whether my  current circumstances are "good" or "bad".   I really don't know whether losing a job is "bad" for me or winning the lottery is "good" for me, because those are simply snapshots in time and life will continue to ebb and flow.  We don't have the luxury of pressing pause and living out our lives frozen in that moment.  The consequences of both "good and bad" events are dictated by my following actions and reactions.

All I can do is to remind myself that the human experience (life) will continue to happen around me - that my only option is to pause when in turmoil (or excitement) and do the next right thing.  The outcomes are beyond my control....whether they be good or bad.

My default is to feel that anything bad is happening "to me" and that anything good is happening "because of me".  That's a slippery slope and leads me to to try and tighten my grip on life and the control of it therein - which is the opposite of what I must do to remain at peace.

 

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On 3/18/2020 at 8:54 PM, Message Board User said:

Been thinking about this today, the first day this whole thing really hit me.  Seeing reports that the unemployment rate may soon hit 20% or higher, our favorite restaurant(s) likely to go out of business, and all the people in the hospitality and oil and gas industry about to be out of a job...my heart goes out to them.

Would not be surprised to see a spike in suicides this year as so many people are likely facing financial ruin.

I read recently that the 2008 crash spiked mental health problems (any maybe even suicides) for 3 years after.  Woof.

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Boys, tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. on the Mental Health Moment, I am having a board certified psychiatrist talk about Covid-19, isolating, quarantine and the mental health issues arising from all of this. We are on DFW local radio station 1160 AM, or www.bigdtalk.com or live on Facebook at, JP, Kathy & "the Crew." You can call in or write in questions to be responded to.

 

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My office has all but 10 of us working from home, I'm one of the "lucky" 10 that gets to hold down the fort. I've had to carry extra weight at work before, it's nothing new. But for whatever reason, I'm really fucking bothered this time. It seems like they're just taking it for granted. I know it's only been 1 week and there's no way to predict how they'll treat us when this is over, as in "will I be rewarded for standing up and getting shit done?", but I don't have much faith. And what really bothers me is the people in other departments that get to rotate, they can't work remotely so they switch off and that means for 2-3 days a week, they sit on their asses at home doing nothing but getting paid. Others work from home every day but they rely on people in the office to upload the work and that flow is very slow. So much of their time is spent sitting at home in chill mode. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get time-sensitive stuff processed and answer a shit-ton of phone calls. 

Every day, I get a little more upset about this. I should be able to let it go but it's difficult. I should just do what work I can do, control what I can control and let the rest hang. I just can't shake this anger, I feel an emotional dam trying to burst. Like I just want to yell and cry and punch stuff. Add in the horrible headache I have right now and it's just been a great day. I hope that by writing this out, it makes me feel better. We'll see.

Rant over, thanks for having this thread so we can do this sort of thing.

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