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    Machinator

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    texifornia

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/26/21 in all areas

  1. I got pulled over by a narcotics officer in Lafayette, LA last night as I was driving back to Houston from reffing a basketball game. The officer (insert bro name here) said I drove on the middle lane lines at least 3ft on both my left and right and that's why he pulled me over. Now, I can legit believe this because I was definitely on my phone trying to pull up at podcast at that point and was halfway paying attention. He asked to see my license, and of course I already have it on the visor to just easily pull out and make it not look like I'm reaching for something. He goes back to his car for a good 5 minutes then comes back to ask me to step out of the vehicle. He starts asking me where I was going and where was I coming from--the usual. Then he immediately asks do I have any drugs or narcotics in the car. Me: "No sir." Narcotics Bro: "You sure?" Me: "Yes, I'm sure sir." He does the above but asks me about any potential guns in the car or any large sums of cash. Me: "No sir." Narcotics Bro: "You sure about that?" Me: "Yes sir, no guns, knives, or any weapons. I don't carry cash--cards only." At this point, I could tell Narcotics Bro was getting a little edgy because he just knew he caught me in something. He goes back to his car to do something with my license again (I presume) and this takes a while. He then comes back to me, and I could tell he thought I was a dumbass. He asks about suitcases in the car (how many), if anyone other than myself packed my bags, or if I had traveled with anyone else on my trip at any point. The answer was clearly no to all of those questions. Narcotics Bro: "Yeah, so your story doesn't quite add up, so I'm going to need to search your vehicle. Do you mind if I do that?" Me: "I don't consent to that, so no you can't search my car." Narcotics Bro: "Is there a reason why you don't want me to search your car?" Me: "No, no reason but you don't have a warrant to do that, so no. And actually I'm getting a little scared here." Narcotics Bro: "Why, because you know you have some weed or pills in there?" Me: "Nah, I'm scared because I'm Black and you're a White officer and we both know how these situations typically end up." Narcotics Bro: "Dude, I understand. My body cam is right here, and I have a Black Wife!" Me: He goes back to his car again for forever while I'm counting semis going by, and he comes back to tell me since I don't agree to a search then the K9 unit will have to be called. I say gleefully "okay" because I know I don't have jack shit in my car. I'm in a rental (shoutout Avis) with Georgia plates so I think this didn't help. He asks to see the agreement and I give it to him. He looks it over for a few minutes then says "hey, how much did you pay for this rental" and I'm thinking bro, you have the agreement in your fucking hand. But nonetheless, I blurt out the exact amount. He looks on the agreement, sees I'm right, and I can see he's getting frustrated. He later asks why I don't take my own car, which I can assume is just because he's trying to catch me in something to which I response "because it's brand new and I don't want to put the miles on it." K9 Asian bro comes, and Cujo is barking like crazy. He talks with Narcotics Bro for a bit then the search begins. I see K9 bros face and it looks like "you called me out here for this waste of time shit" type faces. I'm smiling like a mofo because Narcotics is about to look like a fool. While Cujo is circling the car, I start to make small talk about the weather, Lafayette eateries, the traffic, and just other bullshit because I know he now knows he's just wasted both of ours time. 3 circles for Cujo, no dice, and back to the unit he goes. Asian K9 officer with the look of "waste of time" on his face walking back. He then says he's just gonna let me go with a warning and that it sounds like I was just tired, something I told him when he first stopped me. He's had my license the entire time but before he gives it back, he holds it up one last time, shines his flashlight on it and just twists the license in his hand--this goes on for 30 seconds. I'm sitting here thinking that if my license was fake, you would have seen that 25 minutes ago when you did the exact same thing. He hands it back then suggests I go to the Exxon on the next exit and get a red bull or some bangs (wtf???) to drink so I can wake up a little. Long story short--I'm definitely not traumatized by this situation, but I'm still a little irked that my complete, 100% honest story to him gets a response of basically "I think you're lying so I need to search your car." I'm damn near 40--I ain't got time to be hauling shitty ass weed across state lines. Just wanted to get this off my chest. It still feels like I dreamt this as I can't believe it happened. Not sure what to think really.
    45 points
  2. You should’ve said “it’s all pink inside dawg” and offered him a fist bump when he said he had a black wife.
    28 points
  3. They only let you slip away out of kindness, I suppose.
    21 points
  4. IT says Alabama 5* LB Ben Davis is expected to grad transfer here.
    18 points
  5. I know the name. So does Surly now. Go fuck yourself, Lincoln. Go fuck yourself, okie clowns. We don’t need to know how our dick tastes. Just enjoy the flavor.
    18 points
  6. Sark has gotten 6 commits since he became the HC and 5 are top 100 national recruits.
    17 points
  7. Wait a got damn minute. I know everybody is riding the all gas no brakes momentum right now, but are we just going to pretend that the LSU update didn't happen? My head is about to explode from the names on there. When Trevonte Citizen doesn't even crack the top 5 all name list in a single update, you know shit is out of wack. Decoldest Crawford might be the single greatest name ever. Jaheim Oatis. JaDarian Rhym. D'arco Perkins-McAllister. J'mond Tapp. Shone Washington. J'mari Monette. Laterrance Welch. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?
    15 points
  8. if the daily texan posters could keep focused on the details of an event, rather than the politics of it, it could stay in daily texan. but that's not what the majority of political posters in the daily texan forum want, and i'm tired of it. thinking about moving the covid thread too. actions of war are inherently political. you want to discuss the nuts and bolts of an operation, i guess that's fine, but that's not what's happened with this thread. it's pure cloak room, and so it got moved to the cloak room, and i'm going to keep doing that until people stop doing cloak room outside of cloak room, or agree that their political opinions belong in the fucking cloak room.
    14 points
  9. Looks like we are getting Ben Davis the former 5 Star LB from Bama. Juwan is JuOutta Here
    14 points
  10. I dated a girl that was a big Beatles fan. She had Paul’s face tattooed on the inside of her right thigh and John’s mug tattooed on the inside of her left thigh. The first time we got in “the mood” she pulled up her skirt and asked me “tell me what you see.” I was perplexed. I told her that I don’t know who the fella on the left is, the guy on the right is vaguely familiar but the dude in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson.
    14 points
  11. He fucking bailed on Tom Herman, just like the rest of us. I will never understand dying on this hill.
    13 points
  12. Hey, I appreciate you looking out for us. I, for one, usually lack an innate sense of superiority, so I need the help.
    12 points
  13. Fuck Ewers. He had his chance. I’m all aboard the Maalik train. He’s got guys gravitating toward him, he’s pumped about being a longhorn and has been a hell of a vocal recruiter and he’s already talking about college being a process and willing to develop and wait his turn. Plus Sark staking a claim in Cali doesn’t hurt either.
    11 points
  14. No you're completely wrong because we don't call that shithead "all day" around here unless someone asked how often he beats his kids.
    11 points
  15. My biggest surprise is that the k9 cop didn’t trigger the dog to respond so they could get in the car.
    11 points
  16. I love it. Taking shots at your rivals makes cfb so fucking great.
    10 points
  17. He should be regretting it because Sark is building a Ferrari and because Columbus is cold and grey and nasty as shit for about six months out of the year.
    10 points
  18. Okie lite or Ohio state? If it’s osu and Ewers is showing interest in us, I’m conflicted. I’m sure it’s eating Ewers up seeing Sark clean up the best skill players in the state and our recruiting in general. I’m sure this is probably what he had envisioned when he first committed here. If he wants back in, what do you do here? I’m pretty damn high on Maalik and recruits seem to naturally gravitate towards him. He also has an elite arm but is inexperienced. In addition, Ewers has proven to bail if things aren’t going completely well. He’d be a guy to bail and flip elsewhere if we didn’t win big.
    10 points
  19. This is the absolute dumbest shit and you morons seriously believe it. It's amazing.
    9 points
  20. John Madden never ran like that.
    9 points
  21. https://247sports.com/player/rueben-owens-46086843/
    8 points
  22. Worrying that signing the #1 recruit in the country would be bad for the rest of the class is quite the take. 😂
    8 points
  23. No one "hates" Quinn. We're just being salty because another Texas kid that we were his dream school has committed to fOSU, and that shit is annoying as fuck.
    8 points
  24. It can't go through reconciliation if it does not pass the Byrd Rule. Why is this so fucking hard to understand for you? The COVID relief is the #1 most important thing in the moment. Democrats have a couple options: Say fuck it, keep the $15 minimum wage in there and then Manchin/Sinema kill it. Everyone fucking loses except Republicans, who don't want shit for anyone. Have Harris overrule the Parliamentarian, which is about as likely to happen as Brisket finally landing Sela Ward. Biden doesn't want this and Manchin said he won't vote for overruling the Parliamentarian. Re-configure the minimum wage increase to pair tax penalties on corporations who don't pay the higher wage (Bernie is looking at this) Lower it from $15 to something like $11 or $12 to see if Manchin and Sinema are happier with this Try to pass a stand-alone minimum wage increase bill to $11 or $12 that would get 10 GOP votes But here come our resident "WHY NOT DONE?" folks who don't understand how perilous this process is. We only have 50 votes. We have a diverse caucus that is not wholly united in policy.
    8 points
  25. 8 points
  26. From what I've heard from some folks who would be in the know, the SE reno is expected to produce the same amount of seats as before, give or take. But the hidden gem is the addition of thousands more SRO. So potentially they can stay even or reduce seating slightly, in exchange for more bells and whistles, and still be able to boost attendance numbers for marquee games. It was suggested to me that perhaps CDC and the gang are keeping mum on actual numbers so they can surprise little brother with higher capacity than that erector set stadium in Hooterville. I don't care what the capacity and attendance trends are, we have to always have a bigger and better stadium than aggy. Stadium size may not matter to us, but it absolutely does matter to 17 & 18 year old recruits. I can't believe we let those goobers pass us in the facilities race and have waited so long to catch up. They should never be allowed to have such an advantage for more than a season or two.
    8 points
  27. What we’re getting here
    8 points
  28. I had longhorn games as a priority from 1994-2019. Maybe missed 5 total games in that span. Herman coaching and Sam playing fullback didn't make me be anti-UT...but all of a sudden in 2020, I would go with my wife to my daughter's play dates and soccer games that I normally would get out of 11 or 12x a year because the family became a higher priority on fall Saturdays. All I ask is for Sark to let me ignore my family again for a few months. Make the world right again.
    7 points
  29. so much horseshit, so little time. trump's sharyat missle strikes in 2017 were covered extremely positively by the media. despite your ipse dixit bullshit, the facts don't lie... https://fair.org/home/syrian-airstrikes-rekindle-medias-love-affair-with-us-violence/ https://fair.org/home/out-of-46-major-editorials-on-trumps-syria-strikes-only-one-opposed/
    7 points
  30. Chadwick and his SMU bros done witnessed a murder.
    7 points
  31. No he hasn't been. Plenty of people have provided @bad_teammate strong challenges to his opinions over the last four years. We agree with him on some things, disagree on others. This isn't anything new. Stop playing the victim.
    7 points
  32. Huh. No. VY is the greatest college football player of all time.
    7 points
  33. No one in this “political party” gives a shit about private property rights. Maybe 50 years ago. Even then, who knows. Trump exposed the true identity of the party. Fascism. They want power. They want to do whatever the fuck they want, whenever they want. Rules for thee, not for me. The Republican Party combined is all the racism of Southern Democrats that abandoned that party after the Equal Rights acts was passed by LBJ, mixed in will all the crazy evangelicals that came over after Roe v Wade, mixed with all the “fiscal conservatives” that just want to make as much money as possible and don’t give a shit about anything else. That’s it.
    7 points
  34. If he were going to flip back, he should have done it two weeks ago, before Maalik committed. We're in a different place now, especially with Maalik using his relationships to build the 22 class. It seems obvious that we would take Ewers with open arms, but it's hard to say without knowing how it would affect Maalik and the guys in the pipeline due to Maalik.
    7 points
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