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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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My wife just bought this
https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-dual-boiler-r58-espresso-machine
and this
https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-espresso-macinatore-fausto-grinder
 
 
 The consequences are yet to be determined. Input welcomed. 
1000 grinder? Holy shit. The coffee maker price doesn't surprise me, but damn on the grinder.
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1 hour ago, hookem48 said:

Stopped by Kroger on the way home today and walked out just in time to see a tornado go by (Bryan Tx, 4:45pm). Called the wife who was still at work and told her I just watched a tornado from Kroger parking lot and it's heading toward our house, wife responds "did you get my coffee mate?" 

This video was from right down the road.

Our house is a few miles east of town and the tornado petered out before it got there and no I didn't get her damn coffee mate.

Too bad it wasn’t Kroger Field 

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1 hour ago, GotThatFire said:

My wife just bought this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-dual-boiler-r58-espresso-machine

and this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-espresso-macinatore-fausto-grinder

 

 

 The consequences are yet to be determined. Input welcomed. 

Congrats on banging the barista 

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My wife just bought this
https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-dual-boiler-r58-espresso-machine
and this
https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-espresso-macinatore-fausto-grinder
 
 
 The consequences are yet to be determined. Input welcomed. 
Your wife is a moron. Where's the closest ups store from your house
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3 hours ago, hookem48 said:

Stopped by Kroger on the way home today and walked out just in time to see a tornado go by (Bryan Tx, 4:45pm). Called the wife who was still at work and told her I just watched a tornado from Kroger parking lot and it's heading toward our house, wife responds "did you get my coffee mate?”

 

cherish her. 

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   It appears my wife is raising my daughter correctly.

   Came home from hitting some balls at the range. Opened the door, stepped inside with my bag, turned and locked it. My daughter(10 years old) comes skipping her way down the steps. "I will get it Daddy", she says. I hear a click. I turn to look at she is walking away.

"You just unlocked the door", I said.

How long have we been living in this house that she doesn't know when the lock is locked or unlocked? She will make some dude a fine wife someday, and he will be posting right here with the rest of us.

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8 hours ago, GotThatFire said:

My wife just bought this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-dual-boiler-r58-espresso-machine

and this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-espresso-macinatore-fausto-grinder

 

 

 The consequences are yet to be determined. Input welcomed. 

My input is that coffee will probably be marginally better than what I get out of my $150 Mr. coffee espresso maker

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47 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Yep. I mean if her money or inherited money...spend it on dumb shit that a 150 Keurig can do.

Point stands...still a moron

   Yes. People don't get that the uber expensive espresso machines are simply to keep up with the beating that a restaurant or coffee shop will put on them. For household use a less expensive machine will do the same thing. You are only use it once a day instead of 100 after all.

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14 hours ago, GotThatFire said:

My wife just bought this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-dual-boiler-r58-espresso-machine

and this

https://www.seattlecoffeegear.com/rocket-espresso-macinatore-fausto-grinder

 

 

 The consequences are yet to be determined. Input welcomed. 

That's 800 five dollar coffees at Starbucks.  It will pay for itself in year 3 you ingrate.

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3 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

This thread is pretty humorous.  Luckily I have a cool wife with limited dumbassery, but she's recently gone off the deep end coming up with new business ideas.  They're usually along the lines of "feed tuna fish mayonnaise" and have zero chance of ever happening, but she marches along regardless.  I've also noticed an uptick in business magazine subscriptions like "Inc." and "Fortune", which of course are never opened and go straight into recycling.

Yesterday a new one popped up:

Wife:  I have a great idea.

Me: Oh yeah, what is it this time?

Wife: What the hell does that mean, "this time?"

Me: (Backtracking quickly) I mean it was just last week you had that awesome idea about the pot holder with hand moisturizer inside. Remember?

Wife:  Oh yeah, remind me to follow up on that.  Anyway I saw a video of a bunch of kids dancing at Coachella.  They all had plastic cups with God knows what inside, but here's the thing!  (She's fully animated now, hands outstretched, eyes wide open, waiting for me to engage.)

Me:  (putting down the remote, sighing internally). What thing?

Wife:  The drinks inside were all splashing out of the cups!  So I'm thinking, what a waste!  Shouldn't there be some kind of cap on those plastic cups to keep the drinks from spilling?  I mean how many music festivals are there out there and how many kids are spilling drinks out of plastic cups??? 

Me:  Millions?

Wife: (pointing at me like a crazy person) That's right, millions!   So here's my idea.  I come up with a cover for those cups.  I'm thinking it would be like a square piece of Saran Wrap but the edges have some kind of glue on them.  So you could pull it out of a small pouch and wrap it over the cup.  Voila, no more spilling.

Me:  But if you put a cover over a cup how do you drink from it?

Wife: (pointing at me again, still crazed). A ha!  I already thought of that.  We cut a little slice in the middle, so they can still drink from it but not spill.

Me:  So how would it stick to the cup again?

Wife:  Not sure yet but that will be the first thing I research.

Me:  You know, I think there are international conglomerates that specialize in plastic cups and caps for those cups.  I'd bet if there was a need for a product as you describe they would have come up with something like that already.

*insert awkward pause, ten seconds of silence while my wife's face turns red*

Wife:  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE SUPPORTIVE!

Me: (Backtracking quickly). Remember my friend Bill?  I think his brother is a patent attorney (a complete lie).  Maybe I should reach out to him and see if he has any recommendations on how *we* should move forward with this.

Wife: (visibly relaxing). Really?  That would be awesome, thanks honey!

Me: (pats self on back, reengages with the remote)

 

So she's invented sippy cups for adults.

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 She spends a lot of money on coffee. I guess you could say we do, I get some occasionally.  Not from Starbucks but from sone other little place,  only slightly less expensive. Talked to her about all this this morning, I’ll hear more later but she says she researched this stuff for over a month. I like that. It could end up saving us money if she’s serious about it. I’ll give her a chance to learn how to use it and see where it goes 

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39 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

This thread is pretty humorous.  Luckily I have a cool wife with limited dumbassery, but she's recently gone off the deep end coming up with new business ideas.  They're usually along the lines of "feed tuna fish mayonnaise" and have zero chance of ever happening, but she marches along regardless.  I've also noticed an uptick in business magazine subscriptions like "Inc." and "Fortune", which of course are never opened and go straight into recycling.

Yesterday a new one popped up:

Wife:  I have a great idea.

Me: Oh yeah, what is it this time?

Wife: What the hell does that mean, "this time?"

Me: (Backtracking quickly) I mean it was just last week you had that awesome idea about the pot holder with hand moisturizer inside. Remember?

OTz3RH1.gif?noredirect

 

 

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47 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

This thread is pretty humorous.  Luckily I have a cool wife with limited dumbassery, but she's recently gone off the deep end coming up with new business ideas.  They're usually along the lines of "feed tuna fish mayonnaise" and have zero chance of ever happening, but she marches along regardless.  I've also noticed an uptick in business magazine subscriptions like "Inc." and "Fortune", which of course are never opened and go straight into recycling.

Yesterday a new one popped up:

Wife:  I have a great idea.

Me: Oh yeah, what is it this time?

Wife: What the hell does that mean, "this time?"

Me: (Backtracking quickly) I mean it was just last week you had that awesome idea about the pot holder with hand moisturizer inside. Remember?

Wife:  Oh yeah, remind me to follow up on that.  Anyway I saw a video of a bunch of kids dancing at Coachella.  They all had plastic cups with God knows what inside, but here's the thing!  (She's fully animated now, hands outstretched, eyes wide open, waiting for me to engage.)

Me:  (putting down the remote, sighing internally). What thing?

Wife:  The drinks inside were all splashing out of the cups!  So I'm thinking, what a waste!  Shouldn't there be some kind of cap on those plastic cups to keep the drinks from spilling?  I mean how many music festivals are there out there and how many kids are spilling drinks out of plastic cups??? 

Me:  Millions?

Wife: (pointing at me like a crazy person) That's right, millions!   So here's my idea.  I come up with a cover for those cups.  I'm thinking it would be like a square piece of Saran Wrap but the edges have some kind of glue on them.  So you could pull it out of a small pouch and wrap it over the cup.  Voila, no more spilling.

Me:  But if you put a cover over a cup how do you drink from it?

Wife: (pointing at me again, still crazed). A ha!  I already thought of that.  We cut a little slice in the middle, so they can still drink from it but not spill.

Me:  So how would it stick to the cup again?

Wife:  Not sure yet but that will be the first thing I research.

Me:  You know, I think there are international conglomerates that specialize in plastic cups and caps for those cups.  I'd bet if there was a need for a product as you describe they would have come up with something like that already.

*insert awkward pause, ten seconds of silence while my wife's face turns red*

Wife:  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE SUPPORTIVE!

Me: (Backtracking quickly). Remember my friend Bill?  I think his brother is a patent attorney (a complete lie).  Maybe I should reach out to him and see if he has any recommendations on how *we* should move forward with this.

Wife: (visibly relaxing). Really?  That would be awesome, thanks honey!

Me: (pats self on back, reengages with the remote)

 

Please tell her you’ve had an idea about a device that goes through the hole in the lid and uses an orally generated vacuum to deliver the liquid to the person. 

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1 hour ago, Mach 1 said:

This thread is pretty humorous.  Luckily I have a cool wife with limited dumbassery, but she's recently gone off the deep end coming up with new business ideas.  They're usually along the lines of "feed tuna fish mayonnaise" and have zero chance of ever happening, but she marches along regardless.  I've also noticed an uptick in business magazine subscriptions like "Inc." and "Fortune", which of course are never opened and go straight into recycling.

Yesterday a new one popped up:

Wife:  I have a great idea.

Me: Oh yeah, what is it this time?

Wife: What the hell does that mean, "this time?"

Me: (Backtracking quickly) I mean it was just last week you had that awesome idea about the pot holder with hand moisturizer inside. Remember?

Wife:  Oh yeah, remind me to follow up on that.  Anyway I saw a video of a bunch of kids dancing at Coachella.  They all had plastic cups with God knows what inside, but here's the thing!  (She's fully animated now, hands outstretched, eyes wide open, waiting for me to engage.)

Me:  (putting down the remote, sighing internally). What thing?

Wife:  The drinks inside were all splashing out of the cups!  So I'm thinking, what a waste!  Shouldn't there be some kind of cap on those plastic cups to keep the drinks from spilling?  I mean how many music festivals are there out there and how many kids are spilling drinks out of plastic cups??? 

Me:  Millions?

Wife: (pointing at me like a crazy person) That's right, millions!   So here's my idea.  I come up with a cover for those cups.  I'm thinking it would be like a square piece of Saran Wrap but the edges have some kind of glue on them.  So you could pull it out of a small pouch and wrap it over the cup.  Voila, no more spilling.

Me:  But if you put a cover over a cup how do you drink from it?

Wife: (pointing at me again, still crazed). A ha!  I already thought of that.  We cut a little slice in the middle, so they can still drink from it but not spill.

Me:  So how would it stick to the cup again?

Wife:  Not sure yet but that will be the first thing I research.

Me:  You know, I think there are international conglomerates that specialize in plastic cups and caps for those cups.  I'd bet if there was a need for a product as you describe they would have come up with something like that already.

*insert awkward pause, ten seconds of silence while my wife's face turns red*

Wife:  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE SUPPORTIVE!

Me: (Backtracking quickly). Remember my friend Bill?  I think his brother is a patent attorney (a complete lie).  Maybe I should reach out to him and see if he has any recommendations on how *we* should move forward with this.

Wife: (visibly relaxing). Really?  That would be awesome, thanks honey!

Me: (pats self on back, reengages with the remote)

 

Your wife thinks she invented a plastic lid? 

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2 hours ago, GotThatFire said:

 She spends a lot of money on coffee. I guess you could say we do, I get some occasionally.  Not from Starbucks but from sone other little place,  only slightly less expensive. Talked to her about all this this morning, I’ll hear more later but she says she researched this stuff for over a month. I like that. It could end up saving us money if she’s serious about it. I’ll give her a chance to learn how to use it and see where it goes 

Let me know when she's bored with it in 3 months.  I'll come take it off your hands for tree fiddy.

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2 minutes ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Sorry/not sorry to laugh at you Burt. Wife takes car and damn near totals it trying to get a cherry limeade. 

My MIL is forbidden from driving our cars when she visits up here.  She's hit the garage with my wife's Tahoe and then a couple years later hit the shopping cart corral with the wife's (then) new QX80.  She's never touched my car, nor will she ever touch my car.  Last time she came up to watch our kids so we could go on a trip, we rented her a Corolla.

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4 minutes ago, ztejas said:

That's fucking awesome. Take some rep. 

She's truly a terrible driver.  Lives on 35 acres in east Texas and runs into shit all the time because she doesn't pay attention to where she is going.  She has hit every car my BIL has owned in the past 10 years.  Usually hits them in reverse because she doesn't fucking look in her mirrors or at the camera screen when she backs up.  About 6 months ago she backed up into a ditch on her rental property's front yard.  Missed the driveway on the way out because (shocker), she wasn't looking.  

Edited by Chewbacca
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