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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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On 4/13/2022 at 6:04 PM, conVINCEd said:

Dear restaurant owners,

When I go to your website it should be a simple, one click process to view your entire menu.  I don’t want to pull up each category individually.  Just give me a pdf of the whole fucking thing.

May I see a menu please?

Scan the Q code on your phone. 
 

Fuck off. 

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There should be one standard outlet for a dyer, not 20 different types of outlets. It's a 100% guarantee that the plug I currently have on the dryer will not match in the new house, I know that before I move in. This time I left the dryer in the garage, I knew it didn't match, went inside and took a look, okay, add that to the HD list. 

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2 hours ago, Superhero said:

People who look at their phone while walking. Not glance at a text that just came in. More like this...

Texting while walking more dangerous and deadly | Texting while walking  more dangerous and deadly

 

I fight the urge to go up to them and yell "BOOOO!" whenever I walk past someone doing that.

 

will walk by and mumble" Walk or text, motherfuckers.  Not both>"

I hope they fall in a manhole or fall over a construction barricade or some shit.

 

Move your asses, you sorry pieces of shit.

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1 hour ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Everyone I stand in line behind at an ATM has never used an ATM before. 

I have congratulated folks on getting their new mortgage.

See also: customer service line at the grocery store.

 

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On 4/19/2022 at 7:55 AM, ChickenSandwich said:

May I see a menu please?

Scan the Q code on your phone. 
 

Fuck off. 

I'm actually totally cool with the QR code.  I don't need my grubby paws holding the menus that other grubby paws have held.

In the same vein, complete gross-out factor are the salt/ pepper grinders where you have to twist them with both hands... and then proceed to eat.  Fuck all that.

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1 minute ago, slorch said:

I'm actually totally cool with the QR code.  I don't need my grubby paws holding the menus that other grubby paws have held.

In the same vein, complete gross-out factor are the salt/ pepper grinders where you have to twist them with both hands... and then proceed to eat.  Fuck all that.

Didn't know you and your wife share a handle here. 

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6 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Didn't know you and your wife share a handle here. 

I make fun of the germophobes with the best of em, especially the "I can't shit at work" guy.

I just laugh at these aspects of public interaction getting a smooth pass. They're pretty fucking gross when you consider the big picture.

I'd much rather use my own phone for the menu and I don't generally touch the salt/pepper shakers that require the shakeweight routine just prior to digging into my fries..

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34 minutes ago, slorch said:

I make fun of the germophobes with the best of em

 

34 minutes ago, slorch said:

I just laugh at these aspects of public interaction getting a smooth pass. They're pretty fucking gross when you consider the big picture.

Sounds like you don't make fun of the germaphobes with the best of them. Unless you make fun of yourself ruthlessly. 

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4 hours ago, ztejas said:

 

Sounds like you don't make fun of the germaphobes with the best of them. Unless you make fun of yourself ruthlessly. 

Not seeking your endorsement. Troll somebody else Sporto

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On 4/19/2022 at 7:55 AM, ChickenSandwich said:

May I see a menu please?

Scan the Q code on your phone. 
 

Fuck off. 

 

17 hours ago, markstanco said:


That is still a thing in texas?

 

One diner I sometimes frequent started that shit during covid (ok fine, I get it), but never went back.

I hate it because its inconvenient to swipe around looking at different menu items.

I either know what I want already because I've been there a few times, or I just tell them I don't have my phone with me, which about half the time is true anyway because I've left it in the car.

 

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1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Having to double back into a restaurant and give the waiter cash because while your father was generous and picked up the tab for your sister’s birthday dinner, he was not so generous with the waiter and  left a $10 tip on a $500 check. 

My late grandmother (born 1912) came of age during the depression. She refused to tip, and didn’t want us to tip.  We would have to sneak around behind her back to leave a tip.
My family all knew the value of it, as all of us worked in restaurants at one time or another. My mom was a teacher, but worked a second job as a waitress for 10 years to help put my sister and me through college. She was usually especially generous with tips for even passable service. 

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1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Having to double back into a restaurant and give the waiter cash because while your father was generous and picked up the tab for your sister’s birthday dinner, he was not so generous with the waiter and  left a $10 tip on a $500 check. 

Put a decimal in the wrong spot I guess. 

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36 minutes ago, nnm said:

My late grandmother (born 1912) came of age during the depression. She refused to tip, and didn’t want us to tip.  We would have to sneak around behind her back to leave a tip.
My family all knew the value of it, as all of us worked in restaurants at one time or another. My mom was a teacher, but worked a second job as a waitress for 10 years to help put my sister and me through college. She was usually especially generous with tips for even passable service. 

He’s just been this way the last 5 years or so.  The service was not good, but in my opinion that was due to inexperience.  Guy was hustling, he just didn’t really know what he was doing.  Dad feels like if the service is not up to his standard  the tip should reflect that.  I might agree with that in principle, but you have to offend me for me to not give you 20%.

 

33 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Put a decimal in the wrong spot I guess. 

Nope.  He was unsatisfied with the service, which while not great, was not on the level of dropping a $10 tip on a $500 check.  He hasn’t been satisfied with the service in a restaurant in a while.  My sister and I have a system where we figure out what he tipped and take turns making up for it.

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8 minutes ago, Fudbelty said:

$10 on $500 would have made me come unglued back in my days of service industry. That would mean I paid $5 to wait on your ass. $10 if we had a food runner.

Once we realized it was a problem we found a solution.  When the check is about to arrive one of us gets up and goes to the bathroom and lingers having a conversation with mom while he signs the check so we can get a peek.  If we time that wrong we go back in and straight up ask the waiter what he tipped.  And yes, we’ve also told him to not be a cheap son of a bitch, explained the economics of the service industry, etc.  it hasn’t changed the situation.  So dad buys dinner, and my sister and I take turns tipping.

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2 minutes ago, Fudbelty said:

Sorry didn’t mean it as you specifically. Good on you for doing that. We always try to bring extra cash for bigger groups no matter the bill or tipper. Larger groups are just a PITA

Dad’s gotten a little kooky, it’s a slightly dysfunctional family, and my sister and I do what we can do to make family gatherings bearable while making sure we are decent humans and receive good service when we return to that restaurant, as I would guess that servers have a long memory on shit like a $10 tip on a $500 check.

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At risk of this thread getting hijacked into another "tipping" thread:

I've also gone back and left more tip after relatives.

 

BUT:

3 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Dad feels like if the service is not up to his standard  the tip should reflect that.

This is how I feel as well. I start at 10%. The quality of service moves the amount up or down from there. I have zero problem tipping excellent service 20 or 30 or occasional 50% if it is truly stellar. I also have zero qualms about dropping it to 5% if the service was bad, and in extreme cases I have left no tip (but if no tip, I always stop the server and manager and specifically explain why.) Do I think they care or appreciate the feedback? No, I think they hate me and think I'm a cheap fuck, but I am giving them the feedback they need to improve.

(And yes I do distinguish if the bad experience was due to kitchen fuckup or some other factor outside of the server's own control. I don't ding the server if that's the case.)

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14 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

At risk of this thread getting hijacked into another "tipping" thread:

I've also gone back and left more tip after relatives.

 

BUT:

This is how I feel as well. I start at 10%. The quality of service moves the amount up or down from there. I have zero problem tipping excellent service 20 or 30 or occasional 50% if it is truly stellar. I also have zero qualms about dropping it to 5% if the service was bad, and in extreme cases I have left no tip (but if no tip, I always stop the server and manager and specifically explain why.) Do I think they care or appreciate the feedback? No, I think they hate me and think I'm a cheap fuck, but I am giving them the feedback they need to improve.

(And yes I do distinguish if the bad experience was due to kitchen fuckup or some other factor outside of the server's own control. I don't ding the server if that's the case.)

Dad’s current standard for acceptable service is irrationally high.  All he does is complain about shit 24/7.  One of the girls from the Sugar Babies thread could’ve been our server, blown him between courses, and he would criticize her technique.

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14 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

He’s just been this way the last 5 years or so.  The service was not good, but in my opinion that was due to inexperience.  Guy was hustling, he just didn’t really know what he was doing.  Dad feels like if the service is not up to his standard  the tip should reflect that.  I might agree with that in principle, but you have to offend me for me to not give you 20%.

 

Nope.  He was unsatisfied with the service, which while not great, was not on the level of dropping a $10 tip on a $500 check.  He hasn’t been satisfied with the service in a restaurant in a while.  My sister and I have a system where we figure out what he tipped and take turns making up for it.

I used to work for a company that had surveys for customers to complete and there was always someone each week (99% of the time they were elderly) who would take it way too seriously. We'd get a glowing review and they'd give us 4/5 because "only Jesus Christ is perfect and he was too humble to give himself 5/5". Or they'd say "great service but there's always room for improvement". Like they're trying to play games but it's only entertaining for one involved party. 

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2 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

I used to work for a company that had surveys for customers to complete and there was always someone each week (99% of the time they were elderly) who would take it way too seriously. We'd get a glowing review and they'd give us 4/5 because "only Jesus Christ is perfect and he was too humble to give himself 5/5". Or they'd say "great service but there's always room for improvement". Like they're trying to play games but it's only entertaining for one involved party. 

Those freaking surveys make me surly. “Please rate me, and anything less than 5/5 is unacceptable.”  No, I’m not going to rate your service for selling me a widget, idiot. 

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"Yeah, I'ma need a free oil change or full tint job if you need all 5's..."

 

you got me to willingly give you cash.  What better fucking endorsement do you need?

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On 4/21/2022 at 1:43 AM, slorch said:

will walk by and mumble" Walk or text, motherfuckers.  Not both>"

I hope they fall in a manhole or fall over a construction barricade or some shit.

 

Move your asses, you sorry pieces of shit.

Was walking behind the typical obese, female shopper leaving Walmart last week. Of course she was drifting side to side, pushing her cart along, texting on her damned phone. I muttered under my breath(or so I thought), "get off your fucking phone and get out of the way". She suddenly looked over her shoulder at me and moved to the side all the while trying her best to give me a dirty look.As I passed by she opened her mouth to say something when I said "rude, inconsiderate bitch".  The look on her face was priceless. 

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On 4/22/2022 at 5:14 PM, HRSchenker said:

I used to work for a company that had surveys for customers to complete and there was always someone each week (99% of the time they were elderly) who would take it way too seriously. We'd get a glowing review and they'd give us 4/5 because "only Jesus Christ is perfect and he was too humble to give himself 5/5". Or they'd say "great service but there's always room for improvement". Like they're trying to play games but it's only entertaining for one involved party. 

reminds of this class in high school.  i remember absolutely nothing of it except when going over the syllabus, the teacher says "i dont give 100% grades on paper because it means perfection, and no paper is perfect"

im just thinking, bitch, then recalibrate your grading scale to 99, because top score is the best that a student can achieve...not the best a student CANT achieve.

 

also, we're in a low income high school, so you probably got this job with a BA degree from a 4th tier directional state school so stop fucking fronting.

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On 4/21/2022 at 6:02 AM, Superhero said:

People who look at their phone while walking. Not glance at a text that just came in. More like this...

Texting while walking more dangerous and deadly | Texting while walking  more dangerous and deadly

 

I fight the urge to go up to them and yell "BOOOO!" whenever I walk past someone doing that.

 

 

 

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NSIAP…motherfuckers who drum on the bar. Or the table. Or the tray table behind you. Or where the fuck ever. Bitch, I don’t give a fuck if you’re John Bonham Moon reincarnated, I still don’t give a flying goddamn fuck how well you can keep time to Tom Sawyer or in the motherfucking air tonight; follow the lead of the Georgia Satellites and keep your hands to yourself…

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On 4/21/2022 at 12:02 AM, Superhero said:

People who look at their phone while walking. Not glance at a text that just came in. More like this...

Texting while walking more dangerous and deadly | Texting while walking  more dangerous and deadly

 

I fight the urge to go up to them and yell "BOOOO!" whenever I walk past someone doing that.

 

To be fair, Abbey Road is a great album….

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20 minutes ago, Superhero said:

When you go to the grocery store and the bagger puts the milk, juice, watermelons in one bag, and a bag of chips in the other.

I asked the check out woman at The Home Depot to bag for a piece of plywood I purchased.   Gave her a stone-faced stare when I asked. 
 

She truly did not know what to say or do. 
 

I relented, gave her a smile and bid her a good day.   She laughed when she realized I was pulling her leg. 
 

Keep them on their toes. 

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36 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Adults that order hamburgers like they are 6 years old. Just the patty and ketchup. What in the fuck.

adults who were children when they began their order...

 

JFC.  There are 6 items from which to choose.  Fucking go, bitch.

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