Jump to content

Afghan War ending, foretold by The Onion 10 years Ago [DT thread ruined by politics]

crash_davis

By crash_davis
in Cloak Room

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 3.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

CHIEF
CHIEF

One of CHIEF Jr.'s best friends (a Marine) just got orders they are shipping out to Kabul in 24 hours. The thing he is worried about is exactly who is in the Hummer that pulls up beside you. It's goin

wildcat09
wildcat09

Counterproposal: let's let all Afghan women in who want to come and let's send you to Afghanistan.

Muy Frio
Muy Frio

Posted Images

WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28696

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, Satchel said:

Some Americans appear to have made the choice not to leave.

Yeah, I don’t know what the intel is but there have to be some with dual citizenship and probably even some who are sympathetic to the Taliban. From the reporting I’ve heard the Biden administration is warning the Taliban that any Americans who want to get out should still be allowed to get out or there will be reprisals. If the Taliban want to occupy government buildings and presidential palaces then they need to remember that we can flatten them with cruise missiles anytime we want.

I just hope we’re putting pressure on the Pakistanis to make sure they know that they’ll suffer reprisals too if their Taliban proxies fuck with any Americans who want to leave safely. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JimmyJames

JimmyJames 12271

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Do you read the thread or just follow me around trying to hump my leg?

https://twitter.com/rafsanchez/status/1432443752786714626?s=20

 

Not seeing the 5 percent number of Americans. So apparently you just made that up.

But whatever. You have no credibility here anyway on anything. 

It would be nice if you stopped rooting for the taliban to behead Americans though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11440

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, JimmyJames said:

Not seeing the 5 percent number of Americans. So apparently you just made that up.

But whatever. You have no credibility here anyway on anything. 

It would be nice if you stopped rooting for the taliban to behead Americans though.

Lying again.  Right on brand for you.

  • Fuck You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14859

Posted
Posted
There might be hundreds of Americans stuck there but how the fuck were we supposed to get them out?  An armed incursion into the city is such a dumb idea that no one is even suggesting it.

One idea:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wsj.com/amp/articles/pineapple-express-evacuation-kabul-afghanistan-withdrawal-taliban-human-rights-crisis-11630272146
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

barrels up in a hangar full of rotor aircraft?  Bold strategy, Poppy.  

I'm serious, we could make a billion dollars witha Netflix series about the taliban guys trying to figure out how to fly/drive U.S. Armed Forces assets.  The hijinks, the peer pressure, "You have to prime it before you start it Abdul!"  The backstabbing, literal and figurative.  The accidental deaths.  And the friends they make along the way...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
PassiveAggressiveCoach

PassiveAggressiveCoach 118

Posted
Posted (edited)
32 minutes ago, Lobo said:

barrels up in a hangar full of rotor aircraft?  Bold strategy, Poppy.  

I'm serious, we could make a billion dollars witha Netflix series about the taliban guys trying to figure out how to fly/drive U.S. Armed Forces assets.  The hijinks, the peer pressure, "You have to prime it before you start it Abdul!"  The backstabbing, literal and figurative.  The accidental deaths.  And the friends they make along the way...

Well, they were flying around Blackhawks today. 

Edited by PassiveAggressiveCoach
Link to comment
Share on other sites
'stache

'stache 21729

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:


That’s a pretty reasonable answer. But with as “pragmatic” as the military says that the Taliban has been, I think we could have just told them not to fuck around or we would come back in. There would be no downside to them giving us another week or two to get everyone out since we were leaving and handing over the country anyway.

Another week or more and there would be another terrorist attack, or we'd have to keep thwarting them, meaning more war. The 250 presented some issue that made it difficult to get them to the airport. There would be a huge downside of keeping control of the airport indefinitely until you can get each of those 250, which again, had to have presented some issue to getting them to the airport. Get the hell out of there, work diplomatically for those who still want out, and let the Taliban deal with ISIS in their country. We're done playing world police there.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, PassiveAggressiveCoach said:

Well, they were flying around Blackhawks today. 

Meh, I liked it more the first time I saw it when it was called "Scarface" and it was F. Murray Abraham (Texas-Ex Life Member, by the way!) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
The Ace of Aces

The Ace of Aces 5102

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted (edited)

Most of the equipment was given to the ANA. You can’t take it back. America has always left behind equipment. Always. It’s cost prohibitive to remove it. None of it will work without parts (which they don’t have) and extreme monthly maintenance (which they can’t do). The Russian gear they’ve used for 40 years will forever work for them  

Instead the military makes most of it inoperable. Which they did in Afghanistan. 

https://news.yahoo.com/us-permanently-disabled-more-150-222334223.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall

The mouthbreathers are driving me to drink even more than I already do. 

Edited by The Ace of Aces
  • Hook 'Em 14
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Js1

Js1 84995

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, The Ace of Aces said:

Most of the equipment was given to the ANA. You can’t take it back. America has always left behind equipment. Always. It’s cost prohibitive to remove it. None of it will work without parts (which they don’t have) and extreme monthly maintenance (which they can’t do). The Russian gear they’ve used for 40 years will forever work for them  

Instead the military makes most of it inoperable. Which they did in Afghanistan. 

https://news.yahoo.com/us-permanently-disabled-more-150-222334223.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall

The mouthbreathers are driving me to drink even more than I already do. 

We should have taken it from the ANA! No way that would have caused them to fold faster/sooner! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9853

Posted
Posted

You dipshits do realize it’s not that fucking hard to chuck a grenade into the interior of a Humvee or a chopper, right?  
 

Also, most of the vehicles get ass mileage. Why would you drive that when you have a Hilux, the truck every truck enthusiast in America has been lusting after for 50 fucking years?

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
5 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Anyone know how to fly a Chinook?
 

See, this is the fundamental issue of Twitter as a medium. It’s fascinating to see this in real time, but a lot of times what you see lacks context.

Based on the livery, those are CH-64E Sea Knights that belonged to the Department of State’s “Embassy Air.” They ferried diplomats and staff from the airport to the compound. State rendered them inoperable and announced they are staying behind because no one needs them anymore and they are old. Those will never fly again.

Chucking grenades into things is a pretty dangerous and dramatic way to maybe not accomplish your goal.

  • Hook 'Em 9
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
InkaUtexas

InkaUtexas 25289

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

See, this is the fundamental issue of Twitter as a medium. It’s fascinating to see this in real time, but a lot of times what you see lacks context.

Based on the livery, those are CH-64E Sea Knights that belonged to the Department of State’s “Embassy Air.” They ferried diplomats and staff from the airport to the compound. State rendered them inoperable and announced they are staying behind because no one needs them anymore and they are old. Those will never fly again.

Chucking grenades into things is a pretty dangerous and dramatic way to maybe not accomplish your goal.

The Department of State has a very large air wing. They are maintained by contractors and once that support was pulled these aircraft were not leaving Afghanistan. And agree about chucking grenades. Always scary when you, or someone else,  pulls the pin. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

The Department of State has a very large air wing. They are maintained by contractors and once that support was pulled these aircraft were not leaving Afghanistan. And agree about chucking grenades. Always scary when you, or someone else,  pulls the pin. 

State still has “Embassy Air” in Iraq.  A lot of the flying aircraft are operated by the International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Bureau (Drugs and Thugs) to support counter narcotics in South and Central America and elsewhere. I think it might be the largest non-military air fleet in the government. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
InkaUtexas

InkaUtexas 25289

Posted
Posted

It is. And Embassy air is a side of since it applies to DipSec vs. INL. But Afghanistan was under INL, at least when I was there. 

The Brit boss I had in Helmand was in a bad situation. Dad died, airspace was closed, so his option was do the overland (not the highway) to Kandahar to where are hub was. I spoke with the INL dude at the PRT in Lash and he said they had a UH-1 coming in the next day, meet the bird, no questions will be asked. They took him out and all was good, except I was extended on the project. Meh. 

Oh, and my fuck it car in Dubai was a 1987 Pajero. Loved cruising up to the hotels in it with the kids in the back on the jumper seats. Great vehicle. Could never afford a Patrol, but that was my dream car. I did manage to break a few Landcruisers though. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, 'stache said:

Another week or more and there would be another terrorist attack, or we'd have to keep thwarting them, meaning more war. The 250 presented some issue that made it difficult to get them to the airport. There would be a huge downside of keeping control of the airport indefinitely until you can get each of those 250, which again, had to have presented some issue to getting them to the airport. Get the hell out of there, work diplomatically for those who still want out, and let the Taliban deal with ISIS in their country. We're done playing world police there.

These chuckleheads cannot grasp that we— specifically, the Trump Administration— surrendered to the Taliban. Peace Agreements where one side leaves in exchange for promises from the other side to be nice are what major powers sign when they want to surrender but can’t bring themselves to use the word. And that means the counter party gets a huge say in what happens afterwards. We didn’t even let the Afghan government backbench and take notes when we signed this thing. 

”Let us have everything we want, how we want it as we leave or else we’ll take it back and do more war again”’ was never a credible option. 
 

“The guy who surrendered wouldn’t let himself get pushed around if he were in charge” is a weird and stupid flex. 
 

Edited by 956 Worldwide
  • Hook 'Em 6
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

It is. And Embassy air is a side of since it applies to DipSec vs. INL. But Afghanistan was under INL, at least when I was there. 

The Brit boss I had in Helmand was in a bad situation. Dad died, airspace was closed, so his option was do the overland (not the highway) to Kandahar to where are hub was. I spoke with the INL dude at the PRT in Lash and he said they had a UH-1 coming in the next day, meet the bird, no questions will be asked. They took him out and all was good, except I was extended on the project. Meh. 

Oh, and my fuck it car in Dubai was a 1987 Pajero. Loved cruising up to the hotels in it with the kids in the back on the jumper seats. Great vehicle. Could never afford a Patrol, but that was my dream car. I did manage to break a few Landcruisers though. 

My Central Asian beater was a 2001 VW Passat wagon VR6 that I paid $3000 for in 2013. It had leather heated power seats, ice cold air, and was actually fast as hell. When something broke (not all that often), I knew a guy who’d get parts from Dubai. I’d have loved a Cruiser but honestly— that thing went everywhere the shitty ass Ladas and Daewoos the locals go, and took me there in what felt like luxury. 

Sold it for $1500 in 2016. The buyer asked if I’d guarantee money back if it broke within six months. MOFO, you’re buying a 1500, 15 year old VW in former Soviet Central Asia. It runs now and blows cold air, that’s the deal. Be happy or go look for a Niva on the local market. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
InkaUtexas

InkaUtexas 25289

Posted
Posted

Chuckleheads.... Love it. Um, lets talk Versailles. Someone always is fucked at the end of a war. We lost, they won. Now lets see what victory for them means. I am glad we are out. I wish we had run airbridges across Afghanistan. Got a lot of people who qualify that live in the south. Collapse happened so fast there was no way for them to make it to Kabul. So we lie low and we build new plans. Sucks, but the only way. 

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
InkaUtexas

InkaUtexas 25289

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

My Central Asian beater was a 2001 VW Passat wagon VR6 that I paid $3000 for in 2013. It had leather heated power seats, ice cold air, and was actually fast as hell. When something broke (not all that often), I knew a guy who’d get parts from Dubai. I’d have loved a Cruiser but honestly— that thing went everywhere the shitty ass Ladas and Daewoos the locals go, and took me there in what felt like luxury. 

Sold it for $1500 in 2016. The buyer asked if I’d guarantee money back if it broke within six months. MOFO, you’re buying a 1500, 15 year old VW in former Soviet Central Asia. It runs now and blows cold air, that’s the deal. Be happy or go look for a Niva on the local market. 
 

We should drink beer. Thoughts on the Zastava? I used to joke it would be the spare car I could carry in my Cherokee but that little fucker took me all over Bosnia. And a golf diesel. add a lift on it, rednecks dream. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

We should drink beer. Thoughts on the Zastava? I used to joke it would be the spare car I could carry in my Cherokee but that little fucker took me all over Bosnia. And a golf diesel. add a lift on it, rednecks dream. 

I don’t know much about Yugo cars but I love certain old models of the Skoda and the nearly indestructible Zaparozhets. I figure the Zastava is like those and will run poorly from the day it rolls off the lot till long after a western car is scrap.

My frequent more money than sense daydream is to LS-swap and add a beefier suspension and good tires to a GAZ Volga 24. It would be the ultimate weirdass hot rod. 


image.thumb.jpeg.fbefc8ba3698cee43fb5f049bbc67671.jpeg

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Buzzrock said:


That’s a pretty reasonable answer. But with as “pragmatic” as the military says that the Taliban has been, I think we could have just told them not to fuck around or we would come back in. There would be no downside to them giving us another week or two to get everyone out since we were leaving and handing over the country anyway.

I think realistically there were going to be unaccounted for Americans no matter what. I probably stated that poorly but I think/hope you know what I meant. Say you've got a list of names and then oh, we've got a new name to add etc..ad infinitum. As it is we do have some diplomatic relations with Tally and can pursue that angle officially and backdoor channels as well. If we didn't make the 31st? I don't know. Prolly a coin toss as to what was the "right" thing to do. 

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9853

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

See, this is the fundamental issue of Twitter as a medium. It’s fascinating to see this in real time, but a lot of times what you see lacks context.

Based on the livery, those are CH-64E Sea Knights that belonged to the Department of State’s “Embassy Air.” They ferried diplomats and staff from the airport to the compound. State rendered them inoperable and announced they are staying behind because no one needs them anymore and they are old. Those will never fly again.

Chucking grenades into things is a pretty dangerous and dramatic way to maybe not accomplish your goal.

My comment went right over your head.

The Taliban is not in a position to “fix” equipment we’ve made inoperable.  Whether through a formal or informal process.  Moreover, they are largely unfamiliar with our equipment, intended use, and maintenance.  Most of this stuff makes for “if it bleeds, it leads” outrage pieces on the news, but the truth is, they’ll be buying, repairing, and using equipment they are comfortable with, I.e. Toyota’s and Soviet style weaponry.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31085

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I think realistically there were going to be unaccounted for Americans no matter what. I probably stated that poorly but I think/hope you know what I meant. Say you've got a list of names and then oh, we've got a new name to add etc..ad infinitum. As it is we do have some diplomatic relations with Tally and can pursue that angle officially and backdoor channels as well. If we didn't make the 31st? I don't know. Prolly a coin toss as to what was the "right" thing to do. 

I think this has got to be right.  The thing was going to descend into chaos at some point before it was done.  And it seems there are a certain number of Americans there that just didn't want out the easy way, or at all, for whatever reasons.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TXSG8R

TXSG8R 3325

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

See, this is the fundamental issue of Twitter as a medium. It’s fascinating to see this in real time, but a lot of times what you see lacks context.

Based on the livery, those are CH-64E Sea Knights that belonged to the Department of State’s “Embassy Air.” They ferried diplomats and staff from the airport to the compound. State rendered them inoperable and announced they are staying behind because no one needs them anymore and they are old. Those will never fly again.

Chucking grenades into things is a pretty dangerous and dramatic way to maybe not accomplish your goal.

Yea, it was pretty obvious these have been stripped out from the video.  Ideally someone went to town on a couple of key members areas with a sawzall too to render the airframe useless too.  One of the protocols for our C2 system was for the operators to carry WP  thermite grenades in the event of a hard landing and inability to secure the airframe.  They don't go boom, they just burn at 5k degrees.  Great for rendering a rack of equipment useless in a hurry if you don't have time to zeroize everything.  

An even easier option would have been mercury paste.  Burnish the airframe, apply paste, airframe ruined. 

Edited by TXSG8R
dated myself with the grenade name
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31085

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

My comment went right over your head.

The Taliban is not in a position to “fix” equipment we’ve made inoperable.  Whether through a formal or informal process.  Moreover, they are largely unfamiliar with our equipment, intended use, and maintenance.  Most of this stuff makes for “if it bleeds, it leads” outrage pieces on the news, but the truth is, they’ll be buying, repairing, and using equipment they are comfortable with, I.e. Toyota’s and Soviet style weaponry.

I think he was commenting more on the tweet than your commentary on it.

The other thing is that, not only do they have familiarity with the Soviet gear, they have a supply line from Pakistan for parts and replacements.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34241

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

My comment went right over your head.

The Taliban is not in a position to “fix” equipment we’ve made inoperable.  Whether through a formal or informal process.  Moreover, they are largely unfamiliar with our equipment, intended use, and maintenance.  Most of this stuff makes for “if it bleeds, it leads” outrage pieces on the news, but the truth is, they’ll be buying, repairing, and using equipment they are comfortable with, I.e. Toyota’s and Soviet style weaponry.

Yeah, should have made clear I was talking on the Tweet itself and not your comments. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...