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Afghan War ending, foretold by The Onion 10 years Ago [DT thread ruined by politics]


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54 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

It is laughable that a bunch of savages who don’t own a light bulb were going to walk into a hangar and fly out in a chinook like they are playing Battlefield. That’s why I made the joke.

Carry on.

Great point. The Taliban will keep this equipment on lockdown too. No way ISIS or AQ gets their hands on this stuff. As well, they wouldn’t know how to fly sophisticated aircraft either.

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41 minutes ago, Nivek said:

I am sure there is no way they could find ANA guys who were trained up to operate such vehicles.

Seeing them in US helmets with optics made me more ragey than the helicopters.

Those particular helicopters won’t fly again. And they’re really old— like Vietnam era manufactured. That’s why they were pressed into service as Embassy Air (not military) and the tech is absolutely uninteresting. 

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2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

It is laughable that a bunch of savages who don’t own a light bulb were going to walk into a hangar and fly out in a chinook like they are playing Battlefield. That’s why I made the joke.

Carry on.

Love to make jokes that are actually disguised as Trumplican talking points.  

Super hilarious.  Maybe you deserve the benefit of the doubt and don't know it's exactly what the right wing social media crowd is spewing to criticize Biden.  Many people are saying you knew...

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19 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I’m struggling to understand if this is a serious suggestion or not. 

no kidding?

we've got @Muy Frio, @BabaYaga, @Onboard 2.0 and the likes all up in arms that the Taliban now has a bunch of weaponry (most of which as has been pointed out they either can't use or will soon be defunct). i just wanted to point the idiocy of the only other option which definitely would have not brought forth any monday morning quarterbacking from the brainworms crew. 

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1 hour ago, Nivek said:

I am sure there is no way they could find ANA guys who were trained up to operate such vehicles.

Seeing them in US helmets with optics made me more ragey than the helicopters.

I know at least one of the Tocano pilots was killed trying to fly his plane to another -stan. 

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7 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

no kidding?

we've got @Muy Frio, @BabaYaga, @Onboard 2.0 and the likes all up in arms that the Taliban now has a bunch of weaponry (most of which as has been pointed out they either can't use or will soon be defunct). i just wanted to point the idiocy of the only other option which definitely would have not brought forth any monday morning quarterbacking from the brainworms crew. 

You're right.  The Muje back in the 80's were able to effectively use and field advanced Stinger surface to air missiles, but probably can't figure out how to maintain simple coms gear and nods that many, many ANA soldiers that defected were trained on how to use and operate.  

 

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4 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

You're right.  The Muje back in the 80's were able to effectively use and field advanced Stinger surface to air missiles, but probably can't figure out how to maintain simple coms gear and nods that many, many ANA soldiers that defected were trained on how to use and operate.  

 

I’m sure like the cops in the Vanishing Point, we will continue to use the same radio stations so they can monitor our chatter. 

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7 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

You're right.  The Muje back in the 80's were able to effectively use and field advanced Stinger surface to air missiles, but probably can't figure out how to maintain simple coms gear and nods that many, many ANA soldiers that defected were trained on how to use and operate.  

 

Yup totally the same. No advancements in tech in the last 40 years.

But address the actual point I made you fucking mouthbreather.

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26 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

no kidding?

we've got @Muy Frio, @BabaYaga, @Onboard 2.0 and the likes all up in arms that the Taliban now has a bunch of weaponry (most of which as has been pointed out they either can't use or will soon be defunct). i just wanted to point the idiocy of the only other option which definitely would have not brought forth any monday morning quarterbacking from the brainworms crew. 

You really need to break your prescription meds in half.

You can try to cover this turd, but it was a poorly run op, and Mr. Biden dropped the ball pretty badly, own it.  I wonder how many times he's checked his watch today ?

Edited by Onboard 2.0
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3 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

Yup totally the same. No advancements in tech in the last 40 years.

But address the actual point I made you fucking mouthbreather.

Because you don't have one.  You have a talking point.  That's it.  Or are you trying to say modern diesel power vehicles, nods, and coms gear is more advanced that surface to air technology.  If so, you are a fucking moron.  

There are tens of thousands of ANA soldiers fully trained on how to use and maintain all the gear left to them and the Taliban have hundreds of millions in cash to buy any services they need.  

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11 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

I’m sure like the cops in the Vanishing Point, we will continue to use the same radio stations so they can monitor our chatter. 

It's not our chatter.  Think for a second on the capabilities of the current Taliban and how they fought back for decades against the full might of the US military.  Now layer on better vehicles, better weapons, re-supply, critical coms gear to coordinate movements and plans, and nods to operate in the day or night (arguably the biggest advantage US soldiers have during engagements besides air power).

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11 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

It's not our chatter.  Think for a second on the capabilities of the current Taliban and how they fought back for decades against the full might of the US military.  Now layer on better vehicles, better weapons, re-supply, critical coms gear to coordinate movements and plans, and nods to operate in the day or night (arguably the biggest advantage US soldiers have during engagements besides air power).

Glad they will not have American soldiers to shoot at. They can use their new weapons to fight ISIS this time. 

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23 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Because you don't have one.  You have a talking point.  That's it.  Or are you trying to say modern diesel power vehicles, nods, and coms gear is more advanced that surface to air technology.  If so, you are a fucking moron.  

There are tens of thousands of ANA soldiers fully trained on how to use and maintain all the gear left to them and the Taliban have hundreds of millions in cash to buy any services they need.  

OK. 

So what?

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45 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Love to make jokes that are actually disguised as Trumplican talking points.  

Super hilarious.  Maybe you deserve the benefit of the doubt and don't know it's exactly what the right wing social media crowd is spewing to criticize Biden.  Many people are saying you knew...

Good Lord you man, do you know what people in real life are actually criticizing? The dead marines, the drone strike that killed kids, the fact that we left hundreds of fucking Americans behind enemy lines after we told them we wouldn't! All that happened because Biden just looked around and said 'fuck it, this is going to suck so let's rip the bandaid off'.  I don't give a fuck about that retard Trump's plan or any effort of babyyaga screaming about 'cOndiTionS BaSED!!!" because Trump is not the fucking president any longer. Arguing about hypotheticals is nothing but masturbatory self delusion.

Biden is the President.  Biden said the buck stops with him.  I voted for him. You did.  Most of the other people that post in here did because there was no other option.  Now we are trying to give credit to Joe for putting out a fire he started?  The arsonist doesn't get credit for putting out the fire.  How on earth are you not embarrassed.  How is any of what happened ok, or even remotely consider a success?  He fucked this up.  Saying that doesn't make you a Trumplican or GQP member.  It means you acknowledge reality.    

It's great that we are gone from that dump of a country.  But the way we did it?  We shit in our hands and rubbed it all over our collective faces and now we want credit because at least we didn't shit our pants.

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All the handwringing over "the way we did it" is mostly misguided. I have some sympathy for the argument that we should've kept a bunch of the airfields so we could've been evacuating people from multiple places around the country, though doing so would've provided different logistical challenges and required more American troops on the ground.

But the real reason everything went to shit is our failed nation-building experiment, which Biden's presidency had nothing to do with (you could attribute some blame to him for his time as VP, but he didn't have any actual power then and we know he opposed staying in Afghanistan even then). That's on the military and the state department, which stood up an incredibly corrupt puppet government in Kabul that wasn't even bothering to pay its army. Any smooth withdrawal would've required the support and protection of the ANA, and it just entirely dissolved in a week. There's no backup plan for that that doesn't place the American troops there in harm's way. We're very lucky things didn't end up much much worse.

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58 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Because you don't have one.  You have a talking point.  That's it.  Or are you trying to say modern diesel power vehicles, nods, and coms gear is more advanced that surface to air technology.  If so, you are a fucking moron.  

There are tens of thousands of ANA soldiers fully trained on how to use and maintain all the gear left to them and the Taliban have hundreds of millions in cash to buy any services they need.  

i have another idea...we could have had each ANA soldier sign a sheet a paper promising not to defect to the Taliban or otherwise aid in the usage of this military equipment by the Taliban.

we could have called it a 'Promise Card' or 'Keep Afghanistan Great Oath' or something catchy like that to help with buy-in. 

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27 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

Good Lord you man, do you know what people in real life are actually criticizing? The dead marines, the drone strike that killed kids, the fact that we left hundreds of fucking Americans behind enemy lines after we told them we wouldn't! All that happened because Biden just looked around and said 'fuck it, this is going to suck so let's rip the bandaid off'.  I don't give a fuck about that retard Trump's plan or any effort of babyyaga screaming about 'cOndiTionS BaSED!!!" because Trump is not the fucking president any longer. Arguing about hypotheticals is nothing but masturbatory self delusion.

Biden is the President.  Biden said the buck stops with him.  I voted for him. You did.  Most of the other people that post in here did because there was no other option.  Now we are trying to give credit to Joe for putting out a fire he started?  The arsonist doesn't get credit for putting out the fire.  How on earth are you not embarrassed.  How is any of what happened ok, or even remotely consider a success?  He fucked this up.  Saying that doesn't make you a Trumplican or GQP member.  It means you acknowledge reality.    

It's great that we are gone from that dump of a country.  But the way we did it?  We shit in our hands and rubbed it all over our collective faces and now we want credit because at least we didn't shit our pants.

He did not fuck it up. It was incredibly successful. That does not mean it was perfect.

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3 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

He did not fuck it up. It was incredibly successful. That does not mean it was perfect.

Hate to say it, I'm with DD on this one.

You can't make a gourmet meal when you have chicken poop. The best you can do is make chicken salad, which is more-or-less what we got here.

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34 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

Good Lord you man, do you know what people in real life are actually criticizing? The dead marines, the drone strike that killed kids, the fact that we left hundreds of fucking Americans behind enemy lines after we told them we wouldn't! All that happened because Biden just looked around and said 'fuck it, this is going to suck so let's rip the bandaid off'.  I don't give a fuck about that retard Trump's plan or any effort of babyyaga screaming about 'cOndiTionS BaSED!!!" because Trump is not the fucking president any longer. Arguing about hypotheticals is nothing but masturbatory self delusion.

Biden is the President.  Biden said the buck stops with him.  I voted for him. You did.  Most of the other people that post in here did because there was no other option.  Now we are trying to give credit to Joe for putting out a fire he started?  The arsonist doesn't get credit for putting out the fire.  How on earth are you not embarrassed.  How is any of what happened ok, or even remotely consider a success?  He fucked this up.  Saying that doesn't make you a Trumplican or GQP member.  It means you acknowledge reality.    

It's great that we are gone from that dump of a country.  But the way we did it?  We shit in our hands and rubbed it all over our collective faces and now we want credit because at least we didn't shit our pants.

we lost a war. it kinda sucks, huh?

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1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Mr. Biden dropped the ball pretty badly, own it.  I wonder how many times he's checked his watch today ?

Considering "Executive Time" doesn't constitute the majority of his schedule, he might check his watch more frequently than his predecessor.

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45 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

Good Lord you man, do you know what people in real life are actually criticizing? The dead marines, the drone strike that killed kids, the fact that we left hundreds of fucking Americans behind enemy lines after we told them we wouldn't! All that happened because Biden just looked around and said 'fuck it, this is going to suck so let's rip the bandaid off'.  I don't give a fuck about that retard Trump's plan or any effort of babyyaga screaming about 'cOndiTionS BaSED!!!" because Trump is not the fucking president any longer. Arguing about hypotheticals is nothing but masturbatory self delusion.

Biden is the President.  Biden said the buck stops with him.  I voted for him. You did.  Most of the other people that post in here did because there was no other option.  Now we are trying to give credit to Joe for putting out a fire he started?  The arsonist doesn't get credit for putting out the fire.  How on earth are you not embarrassed.  How is any of what happened ok, or even remotely consider a success?  He fucked this up.  Saying that doesn't make you a Trumplican or GQP member.  It means you acknowledge reality.    

It's great that we are gone from that dump of a country.  But the way we did it?  We shit in our hands and rubbed it all over our collective faces and now we want credit because at least we didn't shit our pants.

If I told you in December Biden was going to handle the withdrawal from Afghanistan and move out 100,000+ people but 13 more US lives would be lost and there might be an errant drone strike and we'd leave behind a lot of gear, what would you have said?

 

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11 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

If I told you in December Biden was going to handle the withdrawal from Afghanistan and move out 100,000+ people but 13 more US lives would be lost and there might be an errant drone strike and we'd leave behind a lot of gear, what would you have said?

 

The 100,000 they got out weren't going to be gotten out based on the troop pullout in all likelihood. They had so much blow back the had to organize the airlift after the fact.

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32 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

If I told you in December Biden was going to handle the withdrawal from Afghanistan and move out 100,000+ people but 13 more US lives would be lost and there might be an errant drone strike and we'd leave behind a lot of gear, what would you have said?

 

 

1 hour ago, babysdaddy said:

 Arguing about hypotheticals is nothing but masturbatory self delusion.

 

 

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38 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

If I told you in December Biden was going to handle the withdrawal from Afghanistan and move out 100,000+ people but 13 more US lives would be lost and there might be an errant drone strike and we'd leave behind a lot of gear, what would you have said?

 

Trump made a deal to get out by May 1st! Why is Biden delaying the withdrawal until September?!

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22 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Pakistan already has all that equipment. Oh, and nukes. 

Which is why the outcome was inevitable no matter how long we stayed. The Pakistanis offered support and a safe haven for the Taliban and we were too afraid to address the fact that they’re the real problem for precisely that reason. So we had to pretend that they’re our allies while they played both sides. And we knew it was happening.

And I don’t think we left anything of value behind or that, even we did, it’s something the Chinese don’t already know about (like the stealth helicopter that crashed during the raid on bin Laden’s compound). But, if there were anything of value and if the Chinese were interested, it would go through the Pakistanis. Right?

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Other than BabaYaga's Twitter feed, where is this narrative coming from that Biden ignored all of his experts?

What color is the sky in their world? Like, how do they think this went down? The cabinet, generals, and intelligence experts were in unanimous agreement with a single brilliant plan, and Biden walked in and said, "Fuck that, I'm doing it my way. YOLO bitches!"

I guarantee that he was presented with multiple options, each with their own pros and cons and associated risks. Each with their own supporters and detractors at the table.

He chose poorly, and putting so much faith in the ANA's will and capacity to fight was an epic intelligence miscalculation that needs to be investigated. 

But come the fuck on with there being a nearly fail proof plan available, that all of his advisors agreed upon, that he just chose to ignore.

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2 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

You're right.  The Muje back in the 80's were able to effectively use and field advanced Stinger surface to air missiles, but probably can't figure out how to maintain simple coms gear and nods that many, many ANA soldiers that defected were trained on how to use and operate.  

 

Just think of all the Americans who are now in danger. Which city do you expect the helicopter attack to hit first?

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2 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

It's not our chatter.  Think for a second on the capabilities of the current Taliban and how they fought back for decades against the full might of the US military.  Now layer on better vehicles, better weapons, re-supply, critical coms gear to coordinate movements and plans, and nods to operate in the day or night (arguably the biggest advantage US soldiers have during engagements besides air power).

What are you thinking, east coast landing? Maybe Mexico and come up that way? 

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20 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Other than BabaYaga's Twitter feed, where is this narrative coming from that Biden ignored all of his experts?

What color is the sky in their world? Like, how do they think this went down? The cabinet, generals, and intelligence experts were in unanimous agreement with a single brilliant plan, and Biden walked in and said, "Fuck that, I'm doing it my way. YOLO bitches!"

I guarantee that he was presented with multiple options, each with their own pros and cons and associated risks. Each with their own supporters and detractors at the table.

He chose poorly, and putting so much faith in the ANA's will and capacity to fight was an epic intelligence miscalculation that needs to be investigated. 

But come the fuck on with there being a nearly fail proof plan available, that all of his advisors agreed upon, that he just chose to ignore.

I also like that he is so enfeebled and incompetent that he let this occur, but he’s also actively micromanaging the military and making them leave specific active weapons systems behind.  
 

He’s a mashup of post stroke Woodrow Wilson and Vietnam era LBJ!

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20 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Which is why the outcome was inevitable no matter how long we stayed. The Pakistanis offered support and a safe haven for the Taliban and we were too afraid to address the fact that they’re the real problem for precisely that reason. So we had to pretend that they’re our allies while they played both sides. And we knew it was happening.

And I don’t think we left anything of value behind or that, even we did, it’s something the Chinese don’t already know about (like the stealth helicopter that crashed during the raid on bin Laden’s compound). But, if there were anything of value and if the Chinese were interested, it would go through the Pakistanis. Right?

The Pakistan-China connection is a huge concern overall but not here. But yeah, anything the Chinese want to look at, the Pakistanis have already. FFS, they fly F-16s. The Chinese are not interested in export model UH-60s that the ANA flew or a Super Toucan.  
 

 

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2 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

The Pakistan-China connection is a huge concern overall but not here. But yeah, anything the Chinese want to look at, the Pakistanis have already. FFS, they fly F-16s. The Chinese are not interested in export model UH-60s that the ANA flew or a Super Toucan.  
 

 

Also, the Chinese steal all our stuff in commercial form then militarize it.   They don’t need our last Gen stuff from Afghanistan when they are slinking through our corporate servers.

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4 hours ago, Nivek said:

I am sure there is no way they could find ANA guys who were trained up to operate such vehicles.

Seeing them in US helmets with optics made me more ragey than the helicopters.

Yep, I wouldn't bet that they are at a complete loss to operate that equipment.

Probably more than a few ANAs with divided loyalty that joined up to get pilot or aircrew training for "future" use.

Still, I think it is accurate that they won't be able to make a great deal of use of it due to various issues they are absolutely not equipped to deal with over the longer term.

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36 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Other than BabaYaga's Twitter feed, where is this narrative coming from that Biden ignored all of his experts?

What color is the sky in their world? Like, how do they think this went down? The cabinet, generals, and intelligence experts were in unanimous agreement with a single brilliant plan, and Biden walked in and said, "Fuck that, I'm doing it my way. YOLO bitches!"

I guarantee that he was presented with multiple options, each with their own pros and cons and associated risks. Each with their own supporters and detractors at the table.

He chose poorly, and putting so much faith in the ANA's will and capacity to fight was an epic intelligence miscalculation that needs to be investigated. 

But come the fuck on with there being a nearly fail proof plan available, that all of his advisors agreed upon, that he just chose to ignore.

The balanced view seems to be that the majority of military, diplomatic, and intel officials did not believe the Afghans would fold so quickly.  There was apparently a vocal minority that predicted the fast fall.  Seems to be pretty much the same with hanging on to Bagram, with the added complication of perhaps needing more than the ~2500 on the ground to keep it.

A choice had to be made between one view or the other, that's kind of 50-50, but the major failure seems to have been in planning for what if the minority is right.  Still and all, a recovery was made pretty swiftly.

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16 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

mock the Taliban Navy at your own peril, sir.

I just want to get a good seat to watch them try to mid-air refuel a weapons laden crop duster on their way to slip through US and allied air defense to drop some dumb bombs on New York. 

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5 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

The balanced view seems to be that the majority of military, diplomatic, and intel officials did not believe the Afghans would fold so quickly.  There was apparently a vocal minority that predicted the fast fall.  Seems to be pretty much the same with hanging on to Bagram, with the added complication of perhaps needing more than the ~2500 on the ground to keep it.

A choice had to be made between one view or the other, that's kind of 50-50, but the major failure seems to have been in planning for what if the minority is right.  Still and all, a recovery was made pretty swiftly.

i appreciate the effort but could you condense it into something like 'Biden Lied, Soldiers Died' but for your version of events?

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Love to make jokes that are actually disguised as Trumplican talking points.  
Super hilarious.  Maybe you deserve the benefit of the doubt and don't know it's exactly what the right wing social media crowd is spewing to criticize Biden.  Many people are saying you knew...

This is where we hear about the right getting funny and making everyone with a brain nervous.
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19 hours ago, Buzzrock said:


That’s a pretty reasonable answer. But with as “pragmatic” as the military says that the Taliban has been, I think we could have just told them not to fuck around or we would come back in. There would be no downside to them giving us another week or two to get everyone out since we were leaving and handing over the country anyway.

You don't think 19 years of futility have sort of taken the sting out of that threat?

Have you never read or observed how these things work?

We'll see what criticism may be due the Biden Administration regarding the Americans still in Afghanistan. My response is more to your insecure, adolescent posture that seems to guide your desire for vicarious bad-assedness. 

The Taliban held to an agreement not to harrass our retreat from Afghanistan. There was no Khyber Pass slaughter. No soldier was abandoned and the US got a staggering number of people out in a short time.

Details remain. Maybe we should look into them before shrieking about the whole thing is a terrible failure so we can get in some punches before the truth comes out.

And please, no "if it was [likely sic] Trump, you'd be screaming about the orange bad man!"

Trump gave us some comparisons such as leaving the Kurds to their fate in Syria, allowing Turkish bodyguards to attack Americans in NYC, covering for the Saudi murder of a journalist, and unilaterally ending an agreement with Iraq. Base on those policy decisions, how doies anyone pro-Trump think Trump would have improved on this operation?

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6 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

You don't think 19 years of futility have sort of taken the sting out of that threat?

Have you never read or observed how these things work?

We'll see what criticism may be due the Biden Administration regarding the Americans still in Afghanistan. My response is more to your insecure, adolescent posture that seems to guide your desire for vicarious bad-assedness. 

The Taliban held to an agreement not to harrass our retreat from Afghanistan. There was no Khyber Pass slaughter. No soldier was abandoned and the US got a staggering number of people out in a short time.

Details remain. Maybe we should look into them before shrieking about the whole thing is a terrible failure so we can get in some punches before the truth comes out.

And please, no "if it was [likely sic] Trump, you'd be screaming about the orange bad man!"

Trump gave us some comparisons such as leaving the Kurds to their fate in Syria, allowing Turkish bodyguards to attack Americans in NYC, covering for the Saudi murder of a journalist, and unilaterally ending an agreement with Iraq. Base on those policy decisions, how doies anyone pro-Trump think Trump would have improved on this operation?

he would have done the bestest job and would have gotten everyone out, even people who didn't want to leave, because he knows what's good for them and for everyone. Amen.

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